by Sierra Hill
Just, damn him.
I breathe in his sexy, spicy scent and lift my hand in a tiny wave. Using my purse as a protective shield, I clutch it against my chest, as if it’ll be the barrier between us and will keep me firm and resolute in my aim to steer clear of him.
To not fall in bed with him tonight.
His eyes flash darkly and flicker appreciatively as they scan down my body. The way he’s devouring me with his eyes right now could be my breaking point.
S.O.S. I might not make it out of here alive.
We both try speaking at the same time.
“You look amazing, Brooklyn.”
“I’m not going home with you tonight,” I blurt, his subsequent chuckle is low and filled with amusement.
There’s a tease in his voice. “I didn’t expect that you would. That’s not why I’m here.”
“Oh. Fine. What are you here for, then?”
Garrett’s lips twist in a devilish smile, sending my pulse hammering and clamoring underneath my skin. My body reacts to his hoarse and gruff laughter. The tips of my nipples puckering hard against the tight bodice of this too-restrictive dress.
“Can we?” He points toward the outdoor area where there are tables and chairs and several fire pits blaze hot and red against the pitch of night.
In hopes of finding someone I know out there to join us, I lift a shoulder in agreement, as he places a hand at my elbow to guide me outdoors.
His grip is gentle but warm and solid. It reminds me of where his hand has been on other parts of my body. Intimate parts he made warm and glowing from his touch.
I give myself an internal scolding to stop thinking about that and pull my shoulders back in a stern, poised fashion. Unfortunately, by doing so, my breasts thrust out in front of me, drawing attention to the tight buds of my nipples, poking through the material.
It draws Garrett’s attention, for sure, which he quickly diverts like a gentleman.
We stop over on the far end of the courtyard, near some sand volleyball pits and a Bocce ball court, empty now that it’s after dark. The peals of laughter from kids in the background have me looking around in hopes of seeing Caleb.
As if reading my thoughts, Garrett says, “He didn’t come with me. I needed to have a grown-up conversation with you. Alone.”
His last word is promising. Sensual. A claim.
And it sends shockwaves scattering through my blood.
Garrett stands just a few inches from me, the hand on my elbow skimming over my bare arm, up and down. Up and down. My skin breaks out in goosebumps.
“Are you cold?”
“No. Just sensitive.”
He sighs. “Brooklyn, I’m here tonight for you. To share something with you. Something I’ve never told anyone else before, except my therapist.”
My lips form a silent O.
“God, I don’t even know where to start.”
Even in the dark, I can see the tremor in Garrett’s hands, which he’s dropped in front of him, nervously fidgeting with them like he’s rolling a snowball. This man doesn’t ever get nervous. Even when confronted with the things Penelope tried to pull, he was a rock.
Oh shit. Did something happen with the lawsuit? Did he lose Caleb?
My heart hammers loudly. So loudly it drowns out everything else around me.
But what he shares with me has nothing to do with Penelope, not much at least.
“I love you with everything I am,” he begins, immediately thawing my icicle heart. “But I have a shit way of showing it. I made assumptions about what you would want to do when I told you I was moving. I assumed you’d be like Becca and would just automatically come with me. But you’re not her. And that’s what I love most about you.
“You see, I came to realize after Becca and I got married and we fought for custody of Caleb, that I didn’t love Becca the way I should have. I did love her, but not with everything in my heart. I should’ve wanted to have done anything for her, the same way she did for me. She loved me selflessly, as well as my son. But two years into our marriage, and a year after she adopted Caleb, things started to unravel. I was on the road so much of the time, and when I’d return home, I was useless and self-absorbed. I devoted my time to anything other than being a good father and husband.”
I scrunch my nose, his words repelling and rancid. “I find that hard to believe. You are a great father, Garrett.”
He lifts a shoulder. “I am now because I was given a second chance to figure out my shit. To learn what it means to really spend time with and care for a child. It didn’t come naturally to me and it didn’t happen until after the accident.”
I’m too stunned to say anything, so I just stare at him with unblinking eyes, trying to reconcile the old Garrett to the one I know.
“The night of the accident,” he swallows thickly, his voice gruff. “She was leaving a friend’s house, after getting advice about what she should do. She called me on the road, crying, and told me she wanted a divorce.”
I gasp. “What? Why? You loved them both.”
Garrett’s gaze flits down to the ground, his eyelashes fluttering to avoid eye contact.
“That night, we argued. Hard. Yelling, screaming, name calling. It was ugly. I was defensive and told her she was making drama out of nothing. But she made points I couldn’t refute.”
My head swims with all the questions I want answers to. It’s as if I’m standing over a table full of puzzle pieces and something’s missing. I can’t quite put it all together to make sense of it.
He stares at me for a long minute before speaking again.
“She told me the distance was too hard to deal with. Which it was. She was at home in Indianapolis with a young child, without any family around, and she was so lonely. I was barely ever there. And when I was…well, she felt it. Felt my distance. Knew that I…” Garrett clears his throat with a cough.
“Becca said I didn’t love her enough or the way she needed me to. And that by not loving her, it was killing her inside. That she would rather die than be in a loveless marriage.”
Tears sting my eyes and I gasp through a sob. In fact, I’m crying openly, over feeling the pain this man and the woman he married had experienced. Reaching out, I cover his fist with my palm.
“I’m sorry, Garrett.”
“She literally died believing that death was better than staying married to me.”
His body jerks in a silent sob. “She’d been so distracted by her tears and our argument, that she took a curve too fast, veered into the other lane and the truck coming from the other direction smashed into the driver’s side. But I am the asshole who killed her. It was my deeds that killed her, killed my dog and hurt my son.”
We’re both quiet for a while, as I internalize and digest everything he just shared with me. His anxiety from a tragic event that’s shaped the way he loves, redirected his son’s and has changed the course of his life extensively.
I’m at a loss of what to say or do, so I gather my courage and wrap him in my arms, humming into his chest that ‘It’s okay’ and ‘I love you’ and meaning it.
This man is not guilty of any crime. He didn’t kill his wife. He didn’t cheat on her or abuse her. He wasn’t violent or reckless. His only sin is carrying around the weight of this guilt for all these years and hurting himself in the process.
Murmuring into the broad expanse of his chest, I say, “You are a good man, Garrett Parker. And don’t you ever forget it.”
43
Garrett
We talked on and off for three hours until the party waned, people said their goodbyes and the waitstaff began cleaning up the catered food and beverage leftovers.
Our conversation was interrupted several times with friends stopping over to bid their leave, including Peyton, who found someone to take her home. As well as a lot of kissing and snuggling under the stars.
By now, I’d already told Brooklyn that I was moving back to Scottsdale and the reason for it.
&nbs
p; “I’ve made so many mistakes in the past, sweetheart. And leaving you for a job was the top of the list. Brooklyn, you are the very best thing that has ever happened to me or Caleb. You’re exactly who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I understand if you don’t feel the same or aren’t ready for that. I can wait. I’m moving back for you and for Caleb, but I want you to have all the time and space you need to come to your own conclusions. When and if you’re ready, I want this to be an equal partnership. Because if it’s one thing I’ve learned the hard way, it’s that there has to be balance and equity in a relationship. One person can’t carry the entire load.”
A touch of fall is in the night air, cool and crisp, with a soft breeze that swung through the branches in the tree above us. My arm perched on the back of the outdoor sofa, my fingers idly stroking her dewy, soft skin. Her head rests in the crook of my arm, and I can feel her breath in the hollow of my throat.
“Do you still want me to be Caleb’s nanny?”
“Not as much as I want you to be my girlfriend. I want you to be part of our lives in whatever capacity you see fit. Until I find a new job, I’ll be home with my son and when needed, I can hire out for daycare after school for Caleb. You’re going to be busy with your class schedule. But I’d love to have you spend time with us. With me.”
Holding her like this again makes me want to do everything with her. But she already told me she wasn’t going to go home with me tonight, so I have to be content with just snuggling until she’s ready to leave, breathing in her light feminine scent, kissing her perfect lips, and exploring her mouth with my tongue.
“Get a room, you two,” Lance teases, as he and Mica approach us hand-in-hand. “But when you do, kids, make sure to use protection, otherwise you’ll end up like this.”
He jokingly strokes a hand over Mica’s swollen pregnant belly, larger than her small frame can handle. Something inside me sparks to life. A desire to someday see my girl pregnant. To start a family with her. But not before she’s ready and has accomplished everything on her bucket list.
I throw my head back in a fit of laughter, at the same moment Brooklyn leans over to whisper in my ear. “I’d like that someday.”
White-hot need surges to my balls as if they are gearing up for the challenge and I jump off the couch, tugging her hand in mine to bring her to her feet.
“Okay, then. Congratulations to you both. We need to go now.”
We give a speed round of kisses and hugs and thank them for inviting us, letting them know to keep us posted on the impending birth of their child, and then we run-walk out to the parking lot.
When we get to her car, our hands have minds of their own, stroking, grabbing, pulling at each other with desperation. I get to the point where I’m about to make a fool of myself from how hard I am for her.
My body is tight and ready, yet I feel lighter than I have in ages. Perhaps it’s that weight that’s been lifted by sharing my most intimate of secrets with Brooklyn. Breaking down that final barrier and opening up to experience redemption and forgiveness.
My heart is light, my dick is hard, and I am holding onto the love of my life.
Nothing could be better than this.
Except maybe one thing.
“Garrett, take me home.”
Yep, there it is.
Epilogue
Brooklyn
“Oh my goodness, just look at how handsome you look!”
Caleb comes bounding into the family room, his little bow tie askew, the suit jacket and slacks that I bought him just a tad too big and hanging over his feet, but with enough room to grow into, with a broad grin on his face.
Today is his kindergarten graduation and afterwards, we are going over to Lucas’s house where he’s hosting a little party in honor of our newest graduate.
Caleb stops in front of me, his wiggly body still in motion, and hands me a piece of folded up notepaper.
“What’s this, buddy?” I ask, flipping it over in my hand but finding nothing to indicate what it’s about.
“Daddddddy…he help writed it.”
The words are punctuated and slow to come, but Caleb has progressed incredibly well in his speech performance this year. Even the doctor and trauma specialists are astounded by the miraculous ability of his to show this much progress.
Of course, Garrett is Mister Overachiever, so why wouldn’t his son be the same?
Speaking of Garrett, I look up from the mysterious note in my hand to find him ambling down the hallway, hands in his pockets, his effortless male sexuality on full display, making my body come alive at his presence. A small smirk plays at the edge of his mouth, as I flap the folded paper at him.
“Exactly what is this about?”
He sweeps his son up into his arms, who squeals in delight, as they stand in front of me eying them dubiously.
“Open it and find out.”
“Owenitup,” Caleb demands.
The note is folded in quarters, as I lift and separate each flap until it’s open in my hands. It’s a Caleb original piece of art. There are three stick figures, similar to the one I received last fall. One tall man wearing a gray T-shirt and a whistle around his neck. No pants, which I snicker over. Underneath it says DAD in Caleb’s handwriting.
Then there’s a kid-sized Caleb with his arms raised high. His name is spelled underneath.
And finally, a female stick figure, with a pretty pink dress and long yellow-blonde hair and a gigantic smile. Underneath it doesn’t have my name, though.
I look up at where Caleb is playing with Garrett’s beard, running his hand over the stubble and laughing from the scratchy texture.
“This is beautiful, Caleb.”
“‘Nuther one.” He pokes at his dad, who extracts another folded picture and Caleb takes it from his hand and shoves it in mine.
I open this one and it’s a picture of just the man and the woman, holding hands.
“Aw,” I sigh. “That’s so sweet. Is that me and your daddy?”
When I look back up, both Garrett and Caleb are no longer standing, but on one knee in front of me.
“Last one,” Garrett says, a gleam in his eye, as he hands the note to Caleb and we go through the motions again.
This time, when I open it, I see a few differences from the other pictures. In this one, there’s still three of us, but a fluffy dog has been added next to Caleb’s likeness. And then under my figure, he’s written the word MOM and there’s what appears to be a diamond ring (not to scale) on the left side of my hand.
My eyes connect with Garrett’s, before dropping to see his hand, which holds a blue ring box in his palm. “Um…”
“Brooklyn Renee Hayes, we’re going to keep this short and sweet, because we have a kindergarten graduation to get to. But I know without a doubt that it wouldn’t have even been possible had you not entered our lives. You make everything better, sweetheart. You’ve helped both of us become better men. You’re smart and beautiful, have the biggest heart, and maybe not the best singing voice or dancing skills…”
He grins broadly and I thump him on the chest with my palm, blinking back the tears in my eyes that threaten to let loose.
“Brooklyn, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife, and becoming Caleb’s mom, and making us the happiest two men in the world?”
Garrett opens the box, a beautiful solitary diamond sparkling inside, along with a small paper-made ring, which if I had to guess, is a handmade Caleb work-of-art. He reaches for my hand and slides the ring on my finger, as happy tears storm down my face.
My voice wobbles a little as I throw my arms around them both, squeezing and shouting my reply. “Yes, yes, yes, yes!”
When I pull back and Garrett kisses me, Caleb tugs on my shirt to grab my attention.
“We make you cry?” he asks, his voice this sweet, but sad little whimper. Then he turns to Garrett, an angry scowl across his face, scolding his dad. “You no make my new Mommy cry!”
I dab at my ey
es as I laugh through the tears, my body quaking with joyous laughter.
When I finally gain my composure, I tug Caleb into my arms and place kisses all over his adorable face as he squirms in my hold.
“Sometimes when the people we love make us really, really happy, we cry.”
My lips tremble and I turn my gaze up to Garrett, who seems to share the same expression. “And I’m really, really happy.”
And then Garrett flicks his head toward the patio door, nudging Caleb to go open it. Caleb giggles, looking expectantly between his dad and me, Garrett nodding again with a ‘go ahead.’
Without his walker, but with a slight gimp in his stride, he heads to the backdoor, reaching on tiptoes to unlatch the door and slides it open.
“Come here, Teddy!” his little voice calls out and I hear a scampering of paws on the patio floor.
My eyes turn into saucers because I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
“Did you get a dog?” I exclaim, my gaze locked on the big, fluffy giant Golden Retriever being ushered into the house by his new best friend.
“Not just any dog. A companion service dog for Caleb.”
I watch in awe as Teddy, who stands just as tall as Caleb, licks his face generously, Caleb laughing and wiping off the slobber with the back of his hand and groaning happily, “Gross!”
This is all news to me, and I had no earthly idea Garrett had even been considering this addition. I’ve been throwing out the idea since the first week I moved in and he always had an excuse as to why it wouldn’t happen.
But now, Caleb has his dog, and I couldn’t be happier for him. Garrett must have been working on it for months because service animals do not get acquired quickly.
“When did you do this? Oh my gosh, this makes me so happy for Caleb!”
Garrett lifts a shoulder, a small smirk playing at the edge of his mouth.
“After Caleb’s last seizure, I realized my grief over losing Ollie was holding back Caleb. And I eventually listened to what my beautiful girlfriend had been telling me all along. It’s only through your love and support that I am finally able to let go of that loss. Now I’m ready to remake a life, kids, dog and all, and the only one I want to do it with is you.”
