When classes ended, Sherry went to Esther’s class and found her sitting alone, scrutinizing her surroundings. For a moment, she wanted to enter the classroom and encourage her, but she was afraid her plan would backfire. She was certain that she had to prepare the ground before rebuilding a relationship with her sister. She looked at her again and was sure that she was suffering from an impenetrable agony.
On her way back home, Sherry passed by a small woodland and stopped near a group of reeds, assuming that in the area, laid a body of water. She made her way through the tall weeds and vanished. In front of her appeared a beautiful lake in a land that no one seemed to have touched. Tall and upright trees surrounded the small lake, their silhouettes billowing in the water. A weeping willow tree’s long branches covered the lake from above, while low greens blanketed the edges of the lake like a carpet of grass along the bank. She put her bag under her head and laid on her back, giving freedom to her thoughts. She worried that Amir would reveal her disgrace to her classmates before she could impress them with her achievements.
The sun had set. Part of it crawled deep into the lake and colored it red and yellow, bright and vibrant. ‘That’s what an optimistic life looks like,’ Sherry thought, and took out the painting equipment from her bag. She decided to paint the bushes that grew in the lake. They seemed to dance inside the water, so Sherry began to paint.
Darkness descended to the lake. Sherry folded the painting equipment and emerged from her hidden kingdom. She promised herself to return the next day to the same place and continue to paint the optimistic dream, to recapture the serenity that the work of painting instilled in her.
Her entrance into the house was accompanied by her father’s smiles. “How was your first day in school?”
“It was different, but I can get used to it. It’s just a matter of time.” She sat beside him, putting the painting on the small table. “Where’s Mom? I want to show her my painting.”
“She is cooking at Nazir’s house. Let me see what you painted.”
“Careful, it’s wet.”
“Where did you paint this?”
“On the way to school, there is a soil pathway that has tall trees on both sides. On one side there are lots of tangled grasses, so I went inside and found a small hidden lake. I sat there alone for about two hours.”
Esther listened to the conversation. She was curious to know what place Sherry was talking about. She left the room while throwing a hidden glance at the painting, trying to prevent them from noticing her. Sherry lifted her wet painting above the table. “Come Esther, look at the beautiful lake. If you want, I’ll take you there. I can even paint you as a Hollywood actress, with the lake in the background.” Esther’s face brightened, despite the efforts to conceal her excitement.
A week after the opening of the school, Sherry came in a little bit late to her math class. “Oh, the solution has arrived,” the teacher said. “I think Sherry can help you with the lesson. Can you help Nahid?” the teacher turned to Sherry.
Sherry looked at Nahid, humiliated. Nahid threw a gaze that made Sherry anxious.
This was the first time that the math lesson was not able to avert her thoughts or worries, but her teacher’s compliments made her feel better.
At the end of the lesson, she handed her notebook to Nahid, hoping to avert any unnecessary confrontations. “I do not need your notebook and certainly not your help,” Nahid said angrily as she left the classroom.
Sherry remained where she was, shrouded with insult.
As she left the classroom, she saw Nahid talking to Amir. She could easily guess what they were talking about. It was about her. She passed near them with uncertainty, stopping when Nahid turned to her with an angry voice. “That’s the last time that you will sit next to me. You can’t impress me with your knowledge in math. Do you understand?”
“I’m sorry, but the teacher asked me to do it.”
“You should have refused it.”
“What’s happening to you, Nahid? What do you want from her? Leave her alone,” Amir said.
Sherry walked away while she tried to suppress her tears unsuccessfully.
On her way home, Sherry stopped by the hidden lake. She felt alone and needed a friend who would understand her. A big pink butterfly crowned with colors and spots on its wings landed on the rock next to her. Sherry finished the painting that she started the day before and added a butterfly on the side. Just before leaving the lake, she looked at the butterfly that refused to leave, even after she finished gathering her belongings. For a moment, she thought that it was unfair to leave it alone. “I’ll be back tomorrow,” she promised, and left the lake. Arriving home, she saw Amir waiting in front of his house. His hair was brushed up, flattering his round face. He was wearing jeans and a slightly fancy shirt that highlighted his broad structure. He was handsome. Sherry assumed that he was going to an event.
He approached her. “I have a little problem with math, and I understand from your argument with Nahid that you’re pretty good at it. Could you possibly help me?”
Sherry shrugged her shoulders.
“Let’s get in.” He invited her to his house and they walked towards the entrance.
They passed by a spacious living room with high ceilings and bright furniture. Wide windows were covered with nice big curtains, allowing for cozy light to stream through. Down the stairs hung large pictures, one of which depicted a woman in her thirties.
“This is my mother. She died from an illness when I was eight. She had cancer.”
Sherry looked at Amir for a while in silence. “It must have been very difficult for you.”
Amir nodded. “As a child, I did not understand this type of loss. Now, I’ve learned to remember her through the small things. I try to remember the taste of her cakes, or the way her hand felt as she walked me to kindergarten.”
“Nice Memories.”
They sat on a hazel colored table facing the window. “This will be convenient; there is lots of light here,” Amir said.
She sat on the chair and opened her book. She explained that to solve problems in Algebra, Amir needed to become familiar with the elimination method. As she explained the necessary strategies, he looked at her with a hidden admiration.
The evening began to fall. “I think that’s enough for today,” Sherry said. She stood up.
“What’s that drawing that you’re holding? Can I see it?”
Sherry handed him the painting of the lake.
“Very beautiful. Where is this place?”
“I think I still do not know this place well enough to bring visitors.” She politely declined, even though she was afraid to refuse and lose the first friend that she might have in this new place.
He did not pressure, and Sherry was glad.
The next day, she headed again to her hiding place. She made her way through the weeds, took the paints out of her bag, and painted until the lake was wrapped up with a dusky gray screen. She folded her bags and went through the muddy pathway. She noticed Amir hiding behind the tall trees. He promptly disappeared, and she wondered if he was there the whole time. She walked through the grasses, trying to resist the urge to turn her face back and look for him. The thought of him watching her silently and intently, both pleased and flattered her. Perhaps, she thought, he was the answer to her loneliness. She hoped she had found a lasting friendship.
This wonderful feeling remained with her even while she entered the house and found her father playing checkers with Tamar. He was a checker champion. No one had ever managed to beat him. Sherry tried several times to be clever, but it cost her more bitter defeat. Only when she realized that she couldn’t beat her eleven-year-old sister did she conclude that it was a talent that passes through the genes—genes that she was not blessed with.
“You look happy today─something special happen?” her father asked.
“I helped the son of Nazir in mathematics yesterday. I think I found a friend.”
She
saw her father’s eyes immersed with brightness. “I always knew that my girls were successful. No matter where we live…” He embraced Sherry. “Go and do your homework.”
She put her books in the bed that she used as a table, sat down on her knees, and began doing her homework. Afterwards, she went to the kitchen to help her mother. “I saw that you were in Amir’s place yesterday." Her mother said. "You seem to be able to adapt yourself to school better than Esther. I thought it would be the opposite, because your sister always has friends. Help her, Sherry. You are the older sister; you have a bigger impact on her than you know.”
“I can understand that she is having a hard time with the transition. All her dreams had vanished in a second. Honestly, it’s not easy for me, either. But I’ll do my best regarding Ester.”
Her mother looked at her with worried eyes. “My heart is broken for this girl.”
Silence hovered between them. “Well, I’m going to Nazir to deliver the food that I cooked, and then we will all eat together.” She took off the apron that was wrapped around her skirt, hung it on the nail embedded in the wall, and lifted the heavy pot with her hands.
From the day that her mother crowned her as mature, Sherry lent a hand and helped with the cleaning and cooking. She felt pity for her mother, who was cleaning and cooking for two families without complaint. Spending time with her mother in the kitchen augmented the intimacy between them that exposed Sherry to her mother’s health condition. The closeness created between them made her mother open her heart. She told Sherry about the death of her parents. They were killed in a car accident when she was 8 years old. The memories made her mother cry. The openness of the woman who gave birth to her was sanctifying, but also embarrassing. She was not accustomed to intimate conversations with her mother. She felt that all at once, her childhood ended and she entered maturity.
“How did you meet Daddy?” Sherry remembered the night when she heard her father telling her mother that he took her from Shmuel, and now she found the opportunity to check it out.
Her mother was silent.
“Did you marry with love?” Sherry urged her.
“I love your dad,” her mother answered casually. Sherry wondered what was in the question that made her mother close the conversation.
3
Three months had passed. Sherry learned to live with the daily harassment from Nahid and also accepted the new life that was imposed on her family. The rest of the family seemed to adapt, too, except for Esther. Her mood was increasingly withdrawn. She had difficulty getting up in the morning, and her interest in school deteriorated. She used to sit for hours under the strawberry tree, not letting anyone near her. Her father, who had never offended his daughters, began scolding her and dismissing the support she so desperately needed. “Do what you want in the future, but now, act the way I want and complete your homework.”
Esther entered the room she and Sherry shared in a full swing. “Where will I do my homework? There’s not even a place for a table here.” Complaints were heard. “Tell your daughter to get out from the kitchen and come here to remove the books from the bed. I want to sleep.”
Sherry looked momentarily at her mother, whose tears fell down her cheek. “Go, go to her. I’ll be fine alone in the kitchen. Maybe you can talk to her. She’s not in a good mood.”
Sherry entered the room, gathered her things from the bed and was about to leave. In a sudden decision, she came back and sat next to her sister. “Esther, we are both having a rough time. Maybe we should get close to each other. You might find out that I am not that bad,” Sherry smiled.
Esther did not answer.
Sherry interpreted the silence as amiability on the part of Esther. She put her supportive hand on her shoulder, but Esther rejected her. “Take your hands off me. I do not need your love.”
“Why are you destroying yourself? Why do you think that if we live in a situation like this, you can’t be a great actress? You won’t stay young all your life. When you grow up, you can do what you want. You can move to Los Angeles to study acting. I’ll help you. I’ll find a job so that I can pay your studies, and then I’ll go with you to all your auditions. I know that you will be successful in the end.”
Sherry noticed the moisture in the Esther’s eyes.
Their father, who overheard the conversation, held out his arms to comfort Esther, but she didn’t acquiesce. She continued to yell, pushed her father away and caused all his strength to crash. He could hardly stand up. His legs were shaking, as if he couldn’t carry his body weight anymore. He immediately collapsed on the bed like a sack of potatoes.
Esther internalized the change of roles right away, hurrying to preach at her father. “Why did you not think of us? How did you trust your father to take care of us? Why didn’t you have money saved for times of need?”
Sherry admitted to herself that these questions plagued her as well. Their father’s eyes passed over her as a scared man that in one night found himself dominated by his daughters.
Sherry glanced at Esther. There was something in Esther’s eyes that plead for Sherry to ignore her father’s feelings and express her protest against the irresponsible behavior of their father. As much as Sherry longed for reconciliation with her sister, it was difficult for her to turn her back on her father, risking the affection they shared. On the other hand, it was time for her to stand by the truth. For the first time, Sherry made her break, preventing her father from winning her supportive embrace.
“Sherry, someone is looking for you,” she heard her mother say.
Sherry felt a shrink in her stomach. She was afraid that the girls in her class decided to surprise her. She went out from the room and was relieved to discover that it was Amir. “I heard your sister screaming that you do not have a room to do your homework. Would you want to come to my house? We could complete it together.”
She smiled at Amir. “Wait, I’ll ask Esther if she wants to come.” But at the entrance of the room, she noticed the excitement in her sister’s face.
“He came because of me.”
Sherry smiled at the happy look on Esther’s face.
All three found themselves preparing homework and eating snacks and sweets while Sherry amused them with cartoon drawings of them in different situations. The entrance of Nazir, Amir’s father, made them stop laughing. The big man stood in the doorway and watched them with a serious face. “What is this noise and commotion all about?” he asked in an angry tone.
Sherry and Esther feared that Amir’s father was not happy with their existence in his house. They looked at him with frightened eyes and got up to leave.
“Where are you going?” Amir and his father smiled. “My father was just kidding. Dad, look at how Sherry drew me.” Amir gave several cartoon drawings to his father who attentively examined them.
“You draw so well.”
“I can draw you,” Sherry answered immediately, happy to see the pacified look on his face.
“It must take time to draw a fat person like me, and I don’t have much time right now.”
Everyone laughed at the joke.
“It will take five minutes,” Sherry said, hurrying to start the drawing. Her hands passed through the paper so fast and graceful, barely looking at him twice. “It is finished,” she said, and handed him the finished drawing.
He began to laugh. “Can you draw something other than cartoons?”
“Anything you want.”
“I would love you to paint me with Amir. I am of course willing to pay for it.”
“No, you don’t have to pay.” Sherry hurriedly refused, but he touched her shoulder.
“You need it, and I’d love to find more people who would want you to paint for them. I want to see some of your other paintings. I may buy them from you and hang them in the rooms of my hotel.” He glanced at Esther. “Do you paint, too?”
Esther looked down.
“No.” Sherry was quick to answer in her behalf. “She is a really good ac
tress, the best in the world.” She turned to her sister. “Show him how you play Scarlett in Gone with the Wind.”
Esther looked at Amir’s father, waiting to approve Sherry’s request. “C’mon Esther, get up, show him,” Sherry urged her and Esther stood up.
“Do you like Scarlett O’Hara?” she asked quietly, but the self-confidence that she was full of was gone.
“Who wouldn’t like Vivien Leigh?” Nazir said, with a face full of desire.
Esther smiled and immediately began playing the roles. At the end, she ran to the stairs and finished with the line, “After all, tomorrow is a new day.”
She finished the show and for a moment, there was silence, a silence of excitement. “This is the moment when you’re supposed to applaud.” Ester cracked a joke and everyone hurriedly smiled and clapped.
“You have to understand that you played the roles so well that for a moment, I was really sad,” Nazir said with a broad smile. “You have a great talent. It’s so interesting that you chose to play this movie. With no doubt, you are the best actress I have ever known, and I’m not saying this to please you. In the future when you’re famous, no one will believe that I knew you. But, if you want to succeed, you must overcome the obstacles along the way. Do you understand me? How did you say, ‘after all, tomorrow is a new day?’”
Esther nodded, “Yeah, just like Scarlett, who didn’t lose hope.” She said it with so much excitement that Nazir gave her a hug.
“Your father is very nice,” Sherry told Amir after his father left the room.
“Yes, it is true, but you should know that I exaggerated a bit. I told him that you helped me in my math lesson.”
“Then you didn’t really need my help in math?”
Colors of the Shadow Page 2
