by OL Ramos
Chapter 15
He called me Elizabeth. He‘s never done that before. I wonder to myself if it was his painful struggle with death that caused him to use my full name. Or perhaps it was the fact that I called him by his proper name?
Was it even worse than that? Could he have taken offense at me saying “Isabella and I would be proud of you?” Was that his way of pointing out that he knew we were two different people? These thoughts keep pouring over me, and the fact that somewhere in Vincent’s mind there was a strong memory of a woman I resemble so closely…it has my mind completely addled. As for myself, I also feel a mixture of guilt and of shame.
Vincent has been the only thing on my mind lately. I keep telling myself it’s because he was slowly recovering, but deep inside myself, I feel I am betraying Michael. The time I spend with Vincent is funny, unpredictable, sometimes downright goofy, and he’s interesting. He’s seen so much.
But Michael is also funny in his own way. He’s extremely manly and powerful, just his presence alone commands respect. He’s honest and honorable, always working for the betterment of everyone. He has the entire world on his shoulders at all times.
They’re very similar though, despite their many differences. As much as Vincent wants to portray himself as the bad boy, I can see right through his act. He was a good man. And although his tongue is sharp and sometimes too generous with his opinion, he can be counted on in the end. Michael respects me, he treats me like a queen, always. I actually feel like royalty around him.
As a complete opposite, Vincent is always quick to insult me or laugh at my expense. I just…I just don’t know anymore. For the first time in my life, I wonder seriously what it might feel like to be drop-dead drunk. I’ve heard plenty of people claim to “need a drink,” and I ask myself if this is that feeling they were describing. But I can hear Vincent’s voice in my ears now. He’d call me goody-two-shoes again. Then I would get mad; maybe slap him, while Michael would just shake his head in the corner.
I open up my balcony and step outside. I need the fresh air. It seems like the three of us are inseparable now. As for me, I’m completely alone in the world now, if not for those two. I lean on the railing and look at the moon. I ponder at the vastness of this earth alone…it’s very humbling. Just a short while ago, I was that crazy girl who believed in ghosts. Now I‘m a member of a secret society hidden from humans. Now I’m the kind of girl that referred to normal people as “human.” I am a super.
“It would seem you have a lot on your mind,” I hear a deep, monotone voice say from atop my roof. I turn to look but only see a silhouetted shape amongst the moonlight. “Do not be alarmed, young keeper, I mean you no harm. I was just in the area and I figured I would take a look for myself.”
“Who are you?!” I exclaim before I slap my hands over my mouth. I didn’t need the entire neighborhood to witness this. “Why are you on my roof? Are you with the Coronam?”
The shadowy figure merely laughs. His laugh is booming and ominous.
“No, I have nothing to do with those children,” he declares. “I do think however, that it would be in our best interest if you speak softer. I do not wish the werewolf to hear me. He is young and would surely get the wrong impression.”
“And what about the vampire?” I ask as I feel anxiety just being in this man’s presence. “How do you know about Michael?”
“Michael, he is quite the celebrity,” the man answers. “And as far as Vincenzo Della Rosa, he will be completely unable to decipher my presence unless I allow him to. Let’s just say he is…a favored son.”
“What?” I ask as I try to keep my panic disguised. “Favored son? I doubt you mean that as most would use it. I can’t even wrap my mind around who you are. But you are who I think you are, aren’t you?”
“That’s an interesting question,” the man answers casually. “Are any of us who other people think we are? Take Vincenzo for example; he believes in himself very little. He thinks trash should be held on a higher pedestal than him…but what do you think? What do you see? I know what you see inside of him and how it bothers you. It isn’t because he is a vampire, it bothers you because of the werewolf, Michael. You truly are a person with an open heart and an open mind. That is why I come before you now and ask that you not reveal my existence until I declare that the time is right.”
“I can’t betray my friends that way,” I reply immediately. “If you are who I think you are, I have to tell them. Why haven’t you done anything about this Hela poison? You’re the father of vampires, aren’t you? You are Cain?”
“I will not deny that,” he answers vaguely. “I will merely say that I have been called many names in my lifetime. That was but the first of a very long list…I prefer to go by different ones now, ones that originate less notoriety and attention. However, as the father of his children, what is my responsibility? Is it to hold their hand their entire lives? As you know, we can live a very long time; it would be impossible. I merely watch as my creations act on their own, as a father does. Sometimes I am a proud parent, other times, I must scold my children and discipline them for the greater good of all. This is the second time in the history of our kind that I have had to interfere. I do not mind telling you, I do not like interfering. Last time I had to step forward was when Vincenzo destroyed what he would call the ancient vampires, including his creator. He proved more than capable in that capacity. Vincenzo and I are very like minded, it was a simple task to push him to do my will without him realizing it wasn’t his idea completely. All it took was a drop of my blood that went unnoticed in his wine.”
The father of all vampires…on my roof. He walks slowly to his right until the moon’s light is his only background. All I can see is a swirling darkness.
“Yet in the end, the person he would kill most efficiently would be himself,” the voice continues. There is no difference in tone, but I feel a deep remorse throughout my being. “I recognize if it wasn’t for you, he would have allowed himself to die from the Hela venom. But you, a keeper who just recently learned her identity, you saved him. You have no idea how indebted I am to you for that. So please young lady, do not fear me. Be at ease.”
“How can you read my mind?” I ask in astonishment. “Are you so powerful you can supersede my powers as a keeper?”
“Some, I can circumvent,” Cain explains. Regardless of how he speaks, it sounds ominous and ancient. “Finding you, however, that was purely coincidental. Even I, with almost all the time in the world, could not find a keeper if I wanted to.”
“And you’re not interested in using my powers?”
“Please my child,” Cain says with a profound disappointment ringing in his voice. This is the first time I could detect any kind of tone come from him at all. “I have had many opportunities to mate with a keeper before, yet I never did. I do not feel your temptation at all. In everything, there must be a standard, a ruling class. Can you imagine the consequences of suddenly upsetting that balance? I am alone; I have accepted that fate a very long time ago. But I am also free to try to find redemption for my sins. In my unique position, I am alone at the top of the vampire hierarchy. No one could challenge my word, not even Klein and his Hela poison. But if I were to mate, that would change. Two would be added to my number; it would upset the entire balance if my mate and child had differing views.”
“So you’re just a silent politician hoping to maintain the status quo, then?”
“You could say that,” he replies after a brief pause. “I have paved the way for events before for my kind; you could call me a politician… Although I do not like the negative connotations that come attached with that title. No, I much prefer the ‘vigilant father’ role. You have a very important influence on those two. It is of the utmost import that you lead them on the path that would benefit them the most.”
“And for the benefit of the balance?” I ask. I’m surprised he cares about the balance at all.
“The balance exists for a reason,” Ca
in explains softly. “Everything in our world is here for a reason, a purpose. I would submit to you that your purpose is to be the anchor between those two. They have been in need of it for a long while, and here you are. You have managed to make them closer than ever and that is no small feat. If what you truly wish is for the best for them, you will wait before telling them of my existence. You must push my influence on Vincenzo slightly so that he may come to me for help willingly. He must come of his own accord or he will feel used and manipulated for the rest of his days. He knows enough about our ways that he will assume the worst, for it is the vampire way to lie and beguile to get what we want. He has risen above that, but the death of his beloved…it destroyed him.”
“You speak of yourself as if you’re a god,” I point out with a hint of cynicism in my voice. “How do you expect me to push your influence on him? I’m supposed to be new to the super community.”
“I would never consider myself God,” Cain defends himself, his tone not straying away from his patient and creepy vibe. “You will find a way to do so. It is very important that he trust me. He must seek me alone; my presence would alarm Michael. I do not wish any hostility. I also cannot have my identity be confirmed as real. I am much more influential as a legend. It is not in the best interest of the world to have all vampires looking to me for leadership, for they will find none. They must find their own way or there is no point. They themselves must come to the realization that Vincenzo and I have come to long ago. This world exists as a delicate ecosystem and if one thing is disturbed, it has a domino effect on everything else on the planet. You’re an intelligent child; surely you see what I mean. If your distrust in me is so great, I can present myself to Michael. Although I know he’s not here at present. I will do whatever you wish to gain your trust, but I assure you, my way is the best way. I have seen what can happen. I merely need Vincenzo to save his people, as he did before. This time, he even has the help of you and Michael.”
I wait a long time after he stops speaking before I let myself talk. It’s a lot to take in. How can I trust him? Especially after he just told me that it is the vampire’s nature to beguile. But my instincts haven’t failed me so far.
“You’re right to trust your instincts,” Cain says knowingly. “And don’t worry; I will stay out of your mind if it irritates you so. For now, just keep leading Vincenzo to the possibility of looking to me for help. After all, what could it hurt? And put faith in that boy, in both of them. Luckily, their feud over you has ended, they no longer are at odds over whoever who will win you as a prize. This is good, they need one another. And you, Elizabeth, you need them.”
“I don’t think they’ll really like the idea of this being a love triangle until I die,” I say in gentle resignation. “But I’ll go with you on this. But you still aren’t helping me with much; how is he supposed to find you?”
“He will find me when he needs me most,” Cain instructs. His demeanor has never changed from that of a patient teacher whose wisdom isn’t to be questioned. I don’t feel the need to question him further. “And as far as this troublesome lover’s quarrel you find yourself in, that too will affect the balance. I believe that a person should marry only for love, but unfortunately, destiny has called something else entirely for you. It is unfair, but by now, you should know that the world is not fair. Far from it. This isn’t to say that you have no decision in the matter, for you do. But it should weigh in your mind when you make your choice. I know that you wish this peace would last forever, but it will not. It is most unfortunate…and eventually you will make a decision to be with one of them. This is predetermined. It is all a part of the balance. But this troubles you?”
“What if I don’t want to be a vampire or a werewolf?” I ask in complete shock. I’m used to Vincent’s level of bluntness, but compared to Cain, Vincent is delicate with his words. “What if I just want to remain as I am? What about the one I don’t choose? How is all of this predetermined?”
Cain turns to his side. The swirling, dark aura subsides a bit and I see the profile of a thin man. He is wearing dark sunglasses and a strange black wide-brimmed hat that was longer in the front than it was in the back. It’s still impossible to see his face; it’s almost as if the darkness itself was bending to his will to conceal his features.
“After a while, you realize that everything has a purpose,” Cain explains plainly. “After living countless centuries, I can tell you that it’s always the same cycle. It always evens out in the end. I have a special ability to foresee these changes and it has nothing to do with my curse. Besides, I can see it now, in your heart. It’s almost as if it were imprinted in your soul. One of those two will be yours. The other however, will not feel jilted. You have nothing to fear in that regard. Besides, you honestly can’t say you haven’t thought about it from that perspective before. I know you’ve wondered what you would prefer being, whether as a vampire or as a werewolf… But that’s not important right now. You must make haste and speak with Vincenzo before Michael returns. There is a terrible omen on the winds, I can feel it. It was a pleasure to finally be able to speak with you, young keeper. We will meet again.”
And just like that, without even giving me the opportunity to say another word, he disappears. It isn’t like when Michael or Vincent moves. There is no afterimage or blur. He is there one second and not there the next. How powerful is this guy?
And for that matter, why can’t I ever get a break? I came out onto this balcony for peace of mind, not another responsibility. But perhaps Cain was right…perhaps things do happen for a reason. I can’t help but feel comforted by the thought, especially as I think about my current situation with Michael and Vincent. I can see our relationship in a different light now after Cain’s wisdom.
For centuries, Vincent traveled alone, jaded, but still guided by an inner light he wanted to leave hidden. Then, eventually, after suffering the tragic loss of his beloved, he found Michael. Michael was a person who was not afraid of showing his inner light. With that way of looking at it, Michael was the Boy Scout everyone makes fun of; kind of like me, Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes. And I just complete them by being the happy medium to both of them…
Well, they do say that the triangle is the most solid structure…
I walk back inside after closing my balcony’s door and head downstairs. Vincent is enjoying an old movie, a romance set during the American Civil War. I always forget that inside of him lies the heart of a romantic. He smiles as he hears me approach but doesn’t turn away from the screen. I wait a little while, letting him finish a couple of scenes from the movie before I finally turn off the television.
“Oh, come on!” Vincent protests loudly. “That movie is ridiculously long! And it was almost over! Why would you go and do something like that?”
“We have to talk,” I announce with uncertainty. “I know this isn’t a good topic for you, so I never know when the best time to bring it up is. But because of everything that has happened lately, I feel that full disclosure is necessary, more so than ever.”
“All right then,” Vincent says as he narrows his eyes. “I’ll break the news to Michael; after all I’m his oldest friend. I’ll simply tell him you picked the better man and better luck next time.”
“I’m serious Vincent,” I say. I feel as if I’m repeating that sentence every hour.
“Fine,” Vincent says as he rolls his eyes. “How can I help you?” Vincent puts on a fake smile and bows his head towards me.
“It’s two things, really,” I begin, trying my best not to hesitate with any of my wording. “The first is my name. Not my name really, but the fact that you used my name. Why did you call me by my full name instead of Izzy? It felt…weird.”
“That was like a week ago,” Vincent says in confusion. “You’ve been mulling over that for a week? Wow.”
I say nothing but remain firm in my want. I look at him harshly, almost as if I was scolding him. He adjusts himself on the sofa and coughs a bit, almost as if he w
ere nervous.
“Why did you call me Vincenzo?” he finally asks, breaking the silence.
“I felt like I was talking to a little boy,” I say flat out. “I didn’t know your full name, so Vincenzo just felt like what would be the closest I could come to calling you by your full name. You know, like mothers do to their children?”
“You? My mom?” Vincent says with a heartwarming chuckle. “That would put me in an awkward position. Seriously awkward. Yuck, I don’t even want to think about that kind of awkward.”
“Vincent?”
“Alright, fine,” he gives up with a sigh and another rolling of his eyes. “My full name is Vincenzo Della Rosa. I was born in a small city along the trade routes from Sicily and Italy, it no longer exists. That’s where I first met Isabella.”
Vincent begins rubbing his eyes at the mere mention of her name. He bends his arm and then rests his face on his hand before continuing.
“The thing is, I would go back there once a year to honor my father and mother with a bouquet of flowers. There’s a strip mall there now…so it would be very strange if I went there to place flowers on top of a minivan. It’s also where Isabella’s remains, the few I could gather, where buried. I called you Izzy because of your uncanny resemblance to her. But then, the more I talked with you, the more I realized: you’re just like her, except you are afraid. You’re afraid of being mean, of what people will think. You’re afraid of wanting anything for yourself. Be it lust or clothing or money, whatever. You haven’t let yourself live a normal life. You’d have made an incredible nun. I get the feeling that you acted the way Isabella acted before life forced her to toughen up.”
I inhale deeply and contemplate my current situation. He is willing to open up this much and I’m even asking for “full disclosure.” And I can’t tell him that the creator of his entire race, the first vampire ever just had a tiny chit chat with me on my balcony? The hypocrisy of it all…why did things like this always land on my shoulders. These were men that have lived for countless years, yet I was to be the intermediary between them? It felt…wrong. And if Vincent ever found out, he’d be crushed. If Michael ever found out, he’d feel betrayed, as if I put our entire “pack” in danger.
“Please tell me why you called me Elizabeth,” I say with certainty as I muster back my own treacherous secret.
“I wanted you to know,” Vincent begins before stopping himself. He hesitates once more before continuing. “I needed to say it. For myself. This entire time, I’ve believed you to be the reincarnation of Isabella, but I have nothing to base it on. I don’t know if it has ever happened at all. I just feel this…. Bond with you, a bond that’s unbreakable. I called you Elizabeth so that I could tell myself that you weren’t Izzy, I tried to convince myself you weren’t.”
“And have you?” I ask, almost dreading his answer.
“No,” he says as he lowers his head. “I still believe you are my Izzy from countless centuries ago. Which is why if you do choose Michael, I will remain at your side for all eternity as your friend.”
His confession throws a freezing cold dagger into my heart. I myself am a believer of reincarnation, so I can’t argue much. Besides, right now isn’t the time to admit my feelings on reincarnation. On top of that, after everything that’s happened, can I really say anything is beyond possibility?
“How can you believe in reincarnation,” I say, trying to push the conversation forward, “if you don’t even believe in the possibility of Cain?”
“I don’t get you,” Vincent answers in bewilderment. “What does one have to do with the other? I’m a conspiracy theory nut, but some are just that, theories. They’re not facts. Some are more credible than others, but it’s such an odd thing to bring up. I’m afraid I don’t follow you.”
Vincent’s piercing blue eyes see right through me. At least that’s the way it feels. I try not to think in case he’s having a go at reading my mind.
“I’ve been thinking about our situation a lot,” I admit. “I just feel we should explore all possible avenues, even legends or possible myths. It’s been a week and you’re still not fully healthy from your encounter with the Hela poison. You’ve been eating twice a day whereas before, you wouldn’t feed for months at a time. And you two aren’t any closer to finding an antidote.”
“That’s not really true though,” Vincent cuts me off. “We’re closer to finding an antidote; we just have to find the proper ingredients. We were able to determine that there’s enough science behind it that a counteragent could exist.”
“Key word being could,” I point out. “Regardless of that, Vincent, even if you were 100% healthy, you’d still be here. I can’t be left alone, you’ve told me that yourself. And if someone is going to look for something in nature to cure this thing it’s going to be Michael, not you. So let’s be real. Is there anyone we can talk to that could have a lead on this?”
“No, honestly,” Vincent confesses in a defeated tone. “You would think this sort of thing would have been tried before. The slayers have been around forever, at least as long as vampires I’d imagine. Werewolves have been around since even before that. So you would think someone, anyone, would have come up with some sort of attempt at neutralizing vampires, especially with their destructive natures.”
“All right, I’m going to look at this like an investigation,” I explain. I probably sound like the biggest dork ever, but who cares? “This is the way I used to look for clues to my mother’s disappearance. Everything has a beginning. Klein either started this thing or it was around at an earlier time and Klein just stumbled onto that information.”
“Nah, there’s no way,” Vincent concludes with a shake of his head. “Klein isn’t particularly the brightest bulb in the bunch. And Bobby? He’s a walking encyclopedia on killing vampires. He hasn’t seen or heard of anything like this. The name Hela is just one of the many derivatives of Hel, the ruler of the dead in Norse mythology, so no clues there, although the name suits it.”
“Okay, so you’ve got a good starting point,” I say as I try to guide Vincent along. “The slayers pass down their information from generation to generation, right? It’s their key to their survival. They would have definitely passed on something like this. They just never discovered it. And if slayers have been around as long as vampires have, that would mean you would need to go to a source that predates the history of vampires, right? Is there a werewolf elder right now or something like that we could talk to?”
“Fat chance there, Goldilocks,” Vincent says, biting his lip. “The oldest werewolf to my knowledge right now is a pistol called Sarah, and she downright hates me. She has a thing for Michael though…there’s no way Michael hasn’t tried speaking to her about this, though. He told me he’s been grilling all of the tribe for information. They might not like me too much, but they don’t exactly want all of vampire kind dead, either. We hold a very crucial role in the super community.”
“Do you see where I’m going with this, Vincent?” I ask softly as I put my hand on his forearm. “When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. In our world, the one you showed me, is there anything impossible?”
Vincent laughs heartily before shaking his head and placing his thumb to his chin.
“You’re going to quote fictional detectives to me now, too?” he asks with another laugh. “One of my favorites also, by the way…but I do get what you’re saying. So then, detective, what would you prescribe?”
“It’s simple really,” I advise carefully. I can’t make my suggestion too obvious again. “We count out every possible place for information. The slayers have nothing. The werewolves have nothing. If the vampires had something before Klein, you would have known about it, right? At the very least, you would have been able to find out about it with your vast network of super spies if that were the case. But you haven’t found squat. I don’t suppose either of you can speak with spirits, can you?”
&
nbsp; “Michael can, actually,” Vincent says with an amused expression. I’m not even sure if he’s being serious or not. “Is that the route we want to take?” He smiles playfully at me. I still have no idea if he’s being serious.
“Why don’t you have him try, then?” I suggest eagerly as I shake his arm. “And you, you have all these people on your payroll, Mr. Moneybags, why don’t you use them? Trace your ancestors. See if you can find the oldest vampire. Maybe that guy left a diary or we can have Michael speak with his spirit. But let’s find something.”
Vincent swallows hard before sitting up and closing his lips tightly together, deep in thought.
“I suppose it beats staying here watching the same movies for the millionth time,” Vincent agrees. “It’s better than being on the sidelines. I’ll give it a try. It can’t hurt…was that all? Did we cover both of your issues, madam?”
“No, there’s still the second one,” I say with a bit of reluctance. “And you made it harder with our confession…when we first linked minds, I saw a memory. It was your memory, I could feel that much. It was of a woman. But this woman, she looked very much like me. Almost exactly like me…I didn’t mean to pry into your mind or anything, it just happened.”
Vincent nods his head to himself before fixing his stare onto the ceiling.
“Yeah, memories can be tricky,” he says softly. “And you know what they say…your eyes can play tricks on you. Well, so can your mind. I might be remembering Isabella as resembling you because it’s been so long. This is something I’ve tumbled with over and over in my head since the moment I saw you. But the thing is I knew what Isabella looked like before I ever stepped into Jack’s Place. I had a perfect image of her inside my head before I ever saw you. Truth be told, I was concerned I just merely projected her image onto you because of my loneliness…but after being with you, moments like these, I feel a connection with you that goes beyond words. It’s something I can’t describe. I can only say I’ve felt it once before. It’s not something you forget…ever, I imagine. And I felt that with Isabella. On top of that, I’m a firm believer in reincarnation, just like I said…so I guess two and two equal four.”
I listen quietly to his words with increasing guilt. I felt terrible about the tenderness of this moment for both Michael and Vincent. I still feel as if I’m betraying Michael by having this moment with Vincent. I also believe I’m betraying Vincent by not having a fair standard and telling him about Cain.
But then, as I think about Cain, I have a feeling of confidence I never really had before. For some reason, it makes sense. I remember Cain telling me that there was no reason to feel guilt over my innermost desires. While Michael and I technically did have a few dates, I’m not his girlfriend; not yet.
This simple truth was hard for me to grasp. I suppose it was my inexperience with relationships…but as soon as I realize that I technically wasn’t seeing anyone, I feel at peace with the world. It seems that Cain has at least managed to lift that burden off of my shoulders. For that much, I’m truly thankful.
“Hey Izzy, how about you?” Vincent asks me to snap me out of my daze. His smile could light a room. “Do you believe in reincarnation?”
I pause for a bit, but this time, I don’t feel guilty about being attracted to Vincent. I’ve finally come to terms with it.
“Yeah,” I say with an embarrassed giggle. “I suppose I do.”
