The beauty awed her. Here nature and people lived in harmony. Homes were situated as much for the effect on its surroundings, as it was for practicality. Yet they were not backward. Echolone had struck a balance between nature and technology, where technology was in the form of running water, sewerage, waste disposal, household items, building methods - much like Valaris, she thought, when she first arrived there as a child.
They deserved to decide their own fate, and not have it determined by seekers of riches, the exploiters of the universe.
After asking a young girl if she had seen Torrullin, she was pointed towards the pond.
She found Elianas with him and knew something profound had passed between them. It was in the cautious stillness they exhibited, while talking as if nothing was different. She sighed inwardly. It was strange how she could now read Torrullin’s inner self only when he was with Elianas.
Lowen crunched deliberately on a twig, and watched them turn.
The same studied curiosity, as if curiosity was expected of them. They did not really care who came, or went. Caballa was right. He would end what relationship they had.
Well, bugger him; he would not get the chance.
She closed in. “Elianas, I need to talk to Torrullin in private.”
The dark man, gods, beautiful man, smiled knowingly. He rose fluidly, saying, “I will check on the Cèlaver’s progress.”
He ambled away without looking back.
“Lowen, I have had enough of talk today,” Torrullin muttered, facing the pond. “And my arse is sore from sitting.”
She looked upon his fair head. “Then walk with me. You don’t need to talk. I’ll be doing that.”
He must have seen something in her, for he nodded, rose and stretched. He waited for her to choose direction, which she did - away from the village.
“Ten years ago we decided to part …” she began.
“No, you left.”
“Well, you didn’t stop me. Inaction is agreement.”
“Sometimes.”
“Torrullin, just listen, all right? We parted, yet let us be honest and say there wasn’t really a future and we didn’t grant it the means to develop. Back in the beginning, I could gift you the means to feel after something particularly numbing, but even that vanished. You retreated and retreated and I couldn’t change it.”
“It was Elixir. I had to shut it away.”
“I know, and understood, but you shut all else out also.”
He nodded.
“The Time thing woke you, but, again, let us be honest, Elianas roused you. To make this short and without dramatics, let me say this; I am walking away from anything we had, permanently.”
A step, two. “Why?”
“Come, does that matter?”
“Yes.”
“You surprise me.”
“I surprise myself.”
She smiled. “Honesty like that deserves an answer. So, why? I was meant to destroy your marriage … listen first, then judge. I was meant to destroy your marriage, and did, and it was meant thus for Elixir to Become. You had to be free of the influences of what are, in final analysis, mortal ties. Elixir is beyond ties, has to be. Yet I had to be the catalyst to restoring balance, for Elixir is also self-destructive. You know that, and you know how I restored feeling.
“Torrullin, these are the products of my visions and I chose to follow those prompts, not because visions cannot be denied, but because I loved you. I willingly put the wedge between you and Saska, because I loved you, and I willingly tussled between the sheets with you, because I loved you. It was selfishness I wasn’t able to deny. I would now willingly come between you and Elianas, because I still love you, and yet I know I cannot succeed. The only way to drive you two apart is by sleeping with him.”
He came to a stop and stared at her.
“Yes, by sleeping with him. But that would destroy what we had for a brief time and I find I would rather be your friend than your enemy. I walk away, because I prefer keeping love intact.”
He was wordless and stared into the distance. Forested hills and lacy waterfalls went unnoticed.
“Such honesty deserves rebuttal,” he said eventually. “I knew what you were doing and did not deny it. I knew I would lose Saska, but I also knew I could not hold onto you. My nemesis, destroying my marriage and the Torrullin I was before Elixir, and with the potential of destroying the present, and certainly in the process of destroying peace of mind.”
“I would be surprised if you have peace of mind to destroy.”
He smiled. “Touché.”
“In the Syllvan grotto I said I would make you pay for choosing Elianas, and you said we would dance again. It thrilled every nerve in my body, and for a time I was prepared to give you all kinds of grief, knowing you would react in a way I could sink my teeth into.” She smiled at the look he gave her. “Yes, like that, just like that.” Her smile vanished and she turned away from those eyes. “No more, Torrullin. I’m weary of uncertainty, indecision, and insecurity.”
She placed her hand over his heart, as Elianas had earlier.
“I know the dark places inside, for I have them also, and put some of them in place, but I know there are light spaces also. I see it when you smile at a child, when you look at your grandsons, when you speak to Caballa - a host of little things. To dance further is to darken those spaces, for both of us.”
His hand rested over hers on his heart. This was a day to be remembered, a revelatory day. He wondered if she would ever comprehend how closely she now mirrored Elianas.
“Was it love, Lowen?”
“It was complicated, but love is the one I want to take away whole. Can you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” She withdrew her hand and moved away. “Go do what you must beyond that door and know I am not coming with you. Unlike Caballa, I do not mourn my visions, but if you return them, I hope new sight will tell me only we have made peace with what was and will be. The next time we meet, I hope we meet as friends, and we may find the kind of easy togetherness you and Caballa have attained. I am no longer your nemesis, Torrullin.”
“You always will be. Potential remains, and choice only subverts it for the moment.”
She inclined her head. “Perhaps, but it will prove a long, long moment.”
A wry laugh. “Today, suddenly, the women in our lives are so understanding.”
“I wish you could see how you and Elianas are together, look at yourselves objectively. We see it and thus we make new choices.”
“How are we together?”
“You are inside each other’s skin.” She dared look at him; he was staring at her. “Do you want me to qualify that?”
“No need. I am merely astonished it’s that obvious.”
Her resolve crumbled. “Damn it, I don’t get it! There’s this silent language between you, all the bloody time, and Caballa says it’s because you both probably know exactly what the line is - what line, Torrullin, for pity’s sake?”
He was wordless.
“Damn it, she says that’s why Elianas pushes so hard. What does she mean? She says it’s unlikely you’re not aware of it. What, what?”
“She probably also told you I would not tell you.”
“And neither would Elianas,” Lowen muttered.
“Clever Caballa.”
Lowen sighed. “I want to walk away with only peace between us.”
He closed in on her, put his hands into her hair and stared into her incredibly blue eyes. Those eyes had called him across worlds and realms, and would probably haunt him eternally.
“Peace will escape us, accept that, but calm is attainable. Elianas and I will probably dance into forever, because the alternative defies all hope. Make peace with this, knowing it is the dance that counts, not the last note in the music. You and I, we go dancing on in memory and there the music plays loud and clear.” He kissed her gently. “Take what remains whole away with you, please.”
&n
bsp; “What do you take away?”
“Sacred space,” he murmured, and claimed her lips again, deeply. “When we meet again, who knows? Friends? I hope so, but I would not be averse to repeating past interludes.”
She smiled. “We shall see, then.”
A moment more she stared at him and then she walked blindly away.
BACK IN THE VILLAGE, she ran into Elianas and it was obvious he engineered the encounter.
“Relax, I’m leaving,” she muttered, pushing him out of the way.
“I am sorry, Lowen.”
“As you are over Cassy? Spare me.” She strode away, but he waylaid her on the deck of Allith’s cottage. “What, damn it?”
“Take Cassy with you.”
“Fine.” Lowen pushed past him into the cottage.
He followed. “Lowen.”
Tears ran over her cheeks. “Leave me, all right?”
Elianas closed his eyes and then reached out and took her into his arms. “He will be fine, I promise. You will be fine, too, with time.”
She sobbed against his chest. Caballa, entering, took one look and retreated.
“Lowen, I must thank you for something,” Elianas murmured and lifted her head. “You could have lashed out at him, driven us all onto a different path, and yet you are too noble. Thank you.”
She swallowed her sobs. “Gods, you would have let me do it.”
“To see him react, yes. What does it say about me?”
Lowen pushed away from him. “Had you and Cassy chosen to reinvent your marital vows, Elianas, he would have seduced her eventually. What does it say about him?”
He drew breath.
Lowen smiled sadly. “The women see it, fortunately. We bow out.”
He nodded. “When are you leaving?”
“As soon as I find Cassy.”
“She is at the herbalist.”
“Have you spoken again?”
He made a face. “No. Rather not.” Elianas laughed. “I think I shall go for a long walk right now to escape more words. Go well, Lowen.” He bent, kissed her forehead, and deliberately stepped away. “Another time, perhaps.”
Lowen watched him walk to the door and wanted to lash out at Torrullin, to take Elianas and … and … she drew a sharp breath when he turned.
“Do you want to see him react, too?” he asked.
She closed the gap, reached, found his mouth, pulled him against her, they fell against the wall, hands searching for skin … and then Caballa was there, jerking them apart.
“Do not do this,” she heaved, pushing them into opposite directions. “Do not make this terrible mistake.”
Elianas worked over Caballa, pulling Lowen to him.
Cassy walked in. “Elianas!”
He stilled. “Saved, I think.” He immediately left the cottage.
Cassy stared at Lowen. “You would be hurt, not him. Torrullin would be hurt, not him. Elianas has more dark spaces, have you not realised it yet?”
Lowen closed her eyes. “I know now. I am sorry, Cassy. And, Caballa - thank you.”
Half an hour later Caballa was the only woman left.
Chapter 15
Listen to the old and wise. They have experience youth cannot fathom.
~ Book of Sages
Echolone
NOT IN THE MOOD for socialising, Torrullin and Elianas took their evening meal inside Allith’s cottage, while Caballa joined the fireside gathering outside.
Anethor, head shaman, found them there, coming up onto the deck with enough noise to warn of his approach. He discovered them standing in his daughter’s sitting area, watching the doorway.
Waving, he said, “Sit, sit, my friends.”
He came closer slowly and sank with a groan into an armchair. Alert eyes watched the two men sit on the same couch opposite him, far apart.
“Two of your party left today, I am told. Is something wrong?”
“They have duties elsewhere,” Torrullin murmured.
“Ah,” Anethor uttered, not fooled.
“I hope Carlin isn’t imposing,” Torrullin said.
“No, no. He nears the end of his translation. My daughter will return tomorrow with news of the meeting, and we shall have little opportunity to speak on matters other than those concerning Echolone.”
“There is something you wish to discuss.”
Anethor pointed his walking stick at Torrullin. “You.” He moved his pointer to Elianas. “You.”
Elianas raised a brow.
Torrullin did not respond.
Anethor laughed. “Now I know why they say ‘poker face’. I have no doubt it sits ill that folk discuss you, yet you must know it is the nature of status. Here it is no different.”
“It would be rude to repay hospitality with ill humour,” Elianas murmured.
Anethor smiled. “I am glad you said so, for now I have my opening.” He shifted on his chair. “Have either of you entered the spirit world?”
Elianas blinked, surprised.
Torrullin leaned forward. “I had not expected this question, to be honest.”
“You thought I would discuss the relationship between you. That is not my business.”
Torrullin relaxed. “The spirit world? It would depend on how you define it.”
Anethor’s eyes twinkled with challenge. “Ah, I knew it. Not just one - many. Disembodied?”
Torrullin frowned. “I do not understand the direction you seek.”
Anethor placed his walking stick between his legs and used it to lever himself to the edge of his seat. Leaning forward intently, he said, “Will you answer my questions to understand direction?”
Torrullin nodded.
Anethor glanced at Elianas. “You answer every alternate question.”
Intrigued, Elianas inclined his head.
“Is there a spirit world?” Anethor asked of Torrullin.
“Yes.”
“Are there ancestors?” he asked of Elianas.
“Yes.”
“Can they be spoken to?”
Torrullin, “If properly connected to.”
“Do all races have this ability to talk to those beyond?”
Elianas, “Yes, but most require a medium.”
“Is there only one spirit world?”
Torrullin, “There are many.”
“Are my ancestors in one spirit world and, say, Carlin’s, in another?”
Elianas, “The spirit realms make no such distinctions.”
“Are they always disembodied?”
Torrullin, “No.”
“Is there an Aaru?”
Elianas, “Yes, and there is a netherworld also.”
“Are you able to contact those in Aaru?”
Torrullin, “No.”
“The netherworld?”
Elianas, “No.”
Anethor nodded. “Those of the spirit worlds we do reach are in limbo?”
Torrullin, “They are on another path. From there they may attain the realm of bliss or eternal gloom, or they may move onto yet another path.”
“Is there such a thing as a final death?”
Elianas nodded. “For unawake souls.”
“How do we reach from this life to theirs to connect with them?”
Torrullin frowned. “The unawake?”
“No, the ancestors.”
Torrullin was silent and then, “That is not as easy to answer.”
“Try.”
“The realms are not far and neither are they apart, and yet they do not interfere with each other. They overlap, they even touch, and sometimes occupy exactly the same space, but the dimensions of space-time prevents the kind of anarchy such events would usually herald. Thus, when you enter the trance that releases your conscious, you are able to touch these points where the realms overlap, and they may hear you, as echoes of a previous life. It is highly stressful for them, as it can be for you. It is not a natural contact and requires dedication.”
Anethor stared at Torrullin and then flicke
d his gaze to Elianas. “Are you a medium?”
“No.”
“Torrullin?”
“No.”
Anethor leaned so far forward he was in danger of toppling over. “Then how can you answer these questions and why do I believe you tell the truth?”
Elianas smiled. “Ah, direction.” He shrugged “When one lives long, one learns certain talents. The mind, when freed, is able to wander other realms.”
“Then you are a medium.”
“No, for I do not make contact. I merely witness.”
“You enter, look around, withdraw?”
“Something like that.”
“Can you do it now?”
“My mind is not free.”
“A trance?”
“No. The mind must literally be free, for the body is no more.”
Anethor stared. “How?”
Elianas sighed. “An immortal is able to release his body for long periods to lay claim to again in the future. During such a release the mind is free to roam where it wills.”
“That is extraordinary,” Anethor breathed.
“And often disorientating.”
“Is that how it is for you, Torrullin?”
“No. I am a Walker of Realms.”
“Which means?” Anethor asked.
“There are portals into most realms, and a Walker uses them to enter and exit.”
“And make contact?”
Torrullin gave a slight smile. “Most realms are pretty much as we know reality. Yes, I make contact, for they are no different there than we are here. Of course, there are exceptions.”
“Such as?”
“The disembodied realms require transmuting of form for travel, and others are so strange one prefers remaining on the outside. Not all races are humanoid, Anethor, and some realms do not come close to emulating reality. Other realms simply have no portals and one cannot enter. The netherworld is forbidden unless you are bound for it, and the same applies to Aaru.”
Lore of Sanctum Omnibus Page 76
