Strange eyes. “As do I.”
“IF THE HIDDEN word is a race name,” Caballa said, “and is your family name, it implies you would be as the Vallas are to the Golden.”
“It is in the function of name, Caballa. Valleur means the magic that travels, Lorin means golden kind, Valla means guild of witchdoctors. When names were assigned, my kind became known as the guild of dark kind. There was an actual guild of magic practitioners, and an ancestor of mine was its first patron. The guild assumed his name, and more time assigned the name to all my kind. Thus, calling me X takes us right back to the first formal meeting of minds. My name is older than Valla.”
“Elianas, it is nobility that should be celebrated.”
“A word of power is not lightly sundered.”
“If it can be done, will you stand forth to claim your ancestry?”
Elianas glanced at Torrullin, his gaze enigmatic. “There are too many variables to answer.”
“What is it you really want from him?”
“Can you handle the truth, lady seer, and are you able to keep it from Tristan?”
She nodded after a brief hesitation, but was firm in her agreement.
“Torrullin has come to believe the fantasy of the Vallas, the right to succession, the arrogance, the unbroken line in history. This is not a bad state, believe me, but it blinds him to another truth. Do you know how Valleur blood sings when it courses and surges? Of course you do; this is how we access our magic. Valla blood goes one better, or a fair few steps better, or octaves, if you will, and that blood is characterised and recognised by trebac, the blue kinfire. If Torrullin has his way, he would mix his blood with mine, and we would be brothers of the blood, Valla kin, and trebac would prove it for all sentience to see.”
Elianas swiftly checked the other two were still walking away.
“He is half my kind, and our blood acts in a different way. My blood sings, yes, and that is how I tap into magic, but my kin is recognised and characterised by another sign. Until he knows it, he cannot know the other truth. I want him to know. That is what I want of him.”
Caballa understood. “Taranis was of your family.”
“Taranis had the singing blood; this is how he was able as a ‘human’ to become a sorcerer and achieve immortality.”
“You are saying you and Torrullin are already kin.”
Elianas dipped his head. “Yes.”
“He harks to the Valla blood, overlooking what is already between you.”
“Caballa, before you have sleepless nights about the forbidden nature of a relationship, we are not brothers. There are too many generations between Taranis and myself. He seeks a blood brother, I think because it would be a perfect way to walk away from attraction, which would then be absolutely forbidden, but I seek a recognition of kinship.”
Caballa stared at him. “If he does, it could sunder the curse of your name.”
Elianas’ eyes crinkled. “So clever. Perhaps, but that would be an added gift. It isn’t the goal.”
“Tell me, Elianas, is this attraction between you a facet of kinship?”
“Too clever by far.”
Caballa leaned back. “You two dance around each other, missing some of the steps.”
“It is part of the allure.”
“Is that all he wants of you? A blood brother?”
Elianas smiled. “Of course not. What we spoke of here are only partial truths.”
“And the rest?”
“Part of the dance.”
“I think you enjoy it.”
“It hurts, it leads to destruction, but, yes, I enjoy it. I am alive due to this dance, and I would wager a world on him replying exactly as I have.”
A sigh. “I know.”
“I am not darak fallen, Caballa.”
“Why would you think I think that? I know no evil as complicated as you are. Evil is a oneness with a set purpose, and that doesn’t come close to describing you.”
He studied her frankly. “You are clever, astute, and a truly good person. I see now why he trusts you. You are the only woman he has trusted to this degree, and you know this, I think. I think you also know this is why Tristan will fight an inner demon called jealousy for some time yet.”
Caballa did not look away. “Yes.”
“Your dance.”
“I love Tristan, Elianas.”
“A part of you will always love Torrullin more. That is his charisma, however, not your failing.”
She blinked and then looked away, nodding without speaking.
Elianas laughed. “Why wasn’t I born a woman? Gods, it would be much simpler.”
“Being a woman isn’t simple.”
“I simply comment on an attraction that shouldn’t be.”
She smirked. “It would not be half as powerful an attraction.”
He was silent a beat and then rose and stretched. “I guess not.” He called out, “We are starving here! Can we eat now?”
THEY WALKED THROUGH the tunnels, Tristan with Caballa ahead, Torrullin and Elianas trailing ever slower.
“They peel us back layer by layer,” Elianas said.
“Only to find more layers.”
They walked a pace, two, and then halted by silent agreement. Ahead, Caballa drew Tristan out of sight.
Elianas, drawing breath, faced him. “I have agreed, but I do not like it. We are circumventing the dance.”
“We change the steps,” Torrullin said.
“Do ethereal forms feel, do you think?”
“We shall find out.”
They stared at each other and then slammed together, holding on tight. There was no desire in it; it was merely a prayer they would emerge from Lethe unscathed enough to go on. Then, embarrassed, they pushed apart and hastened to catch up with the other two.
Safety in numbers.
Chapter 52
When souls band together something marvellous comes to pass.
~ A note in the Ancient Oracles
Grinwallin
DESPITE THE LONG day and night, Torrullin could not sleep.
He finally tossed the covers off and rose from a rumpled bed. Barefoot, he padded up onto the roof. All Grinwallin’s houses had flat roofs, an added dimension to a city with spectacular views. When he got there, he shivered. He forgot it was winter. He turned to fetch his cloak, and a shadowy form revealed itself.
His relief was huge when he realised it was Teighlar.
“Expecting someone else?” the Emperor said.
“What are you doing up here?”
“Waiting for you. I knew you could not sleep.”
“Why so secretive?”
“Come with me, Torrullin. There is something I need to show you.”
“I do not like the sound of that.” Torrullin frowned, but he never walked away from a challenge. “Fine. Let me get dressed.”
“You will have to take it off again. Where we are going we may enter naked only.”
“Now you are scaring me.”
Teighlar laughed, and then, “Fetch Elianas.”
The request slammed into his gut. His overriding vision was of the dark man naked at his side in a forbidden place. It frightened the daylight out of him, for he doubted his control.
Teighlar nodded. “I know what you see, but I will be there, and the sight of my pale body is bound to shrivel even iron rods.”
Torrullin grinned. “Wait here.” He hastened down the stairs to Elianas’ room.
Elianas tossed on a bed as he had minutes ago. He laid a hand on a sweaty shoulder and shook. Elianas grunted and then he moved swiftly. A sword point rested under Torrullin’s chin.
“You have not lost your touch, I see.”
Elianas frowned, withdrawing the blade. “Torrullin?” His gaze flicked over the man, noting loose pants and not a thread more.
“Come, Elianas. I think we are about to be tested.” Torrullin turned away. “Do not bother with clothes, my brother. We are going in naked.”
; Goosebumps raised on his flesh when Elianas hissed in surprise behind him. He carried on walking, heard the sword hit floor and then footfalls behind.
Elianas, wrapping a sarong around his hips, caught up. “What’s going on?”
“Teighlar and a secret. He is on the roof.”
Wordless, they went up, and Teighlar looked them over. “You suit each other.”
“Don’t get cutesy, Senlu,” Torrullin snapped.
“What’s this about?” Elianas growled.
“We are going before the Goddess.”
Torrullin glared at him. “You got me riled for a mythical figure? What, a prayer before a shrine? I am going back to bed.”
Elianas caught his arm. “The Goddess within.”
“Esoteric bullshit, Elianas.” But Torrullin did not leave.
Teighlar smiled, his gaze resting curiously on Elianas. “We shall see how esoteric it is soon enough. Come.”
He vanished, leaving them a clear, pulsing trail to follow.
THEY WERE IN A cave with darkness all around, surrounded by rock without an opening to the air outside, and it smelled stale and disused. Teighlar’s voice came at them from the dark.
“Do not put light in this place.”
Torrullin and Elianas unconsciously moved closer, and skin seared skin.
“A long time ago, before Grinwallin was excavated, the Luvan Brotherhood sent their magicians and soothsayers into these mighty mountains. The priests walked among the people, but the magicians were kept separate.”
Teighlar’s voice was trance-like, and they heard rustling. He was undressing.
“When certain members of like talent of a society are forcibly removed from that society, something comes to pass. We would today call it a cult.” He paused. “Take off what you have on. We cannot pass beyond this darkness unless we are stripped of civilisation. Torrullin, it includes the Medaillon and your signet ring.”
The Medaillon hit rock underfoot metallically, and a smaller plink signified the ring. His small movements caused his skin to slither against Elianas, who breathed raggedly.
“Torrullin, I cannot.”
“If you want to be forewarned of what lies ahead for you in ethereal form, then you can do this,” came Teighlar’s voice. “Feel it now or lose your control when you cannot undo it.”
Torrullin swore, and undid his drawstring. His pants slipped down and he stepped from them.
Elianas moaned, “Gods, get me out of here.”
“The gods do not hear here, Danae,” Teighlar said.
Utter silence. The end of time itself.
Teighlar said, “This place is sealed. A word of power cannot pass through the barriers.”
“How do you know that name?” Elianas demanded.
“I am an enchanter, remember?”
Elianas’ hands found Torrullin, his fingers digging into flesh. “Get me out!”
Torrullin stepped closer in the dark. “Elianas Danae,” he whispered in the man’s ear. His fingers found the knot in the sarong and started untying. “Feel it,” he whispered. The knot loosened.
“Dear god,” Elianas whispered. Hands lifted to Torrullin’s hair and twisted in. “I am coming undone, you must stop this.”
Torrullin pulled the sarong away.
Everything froze again.
“Teighlar, I think you should go now.” Torrullin could barely speak.
“I must stay,” came the Emperor’s voice, filled with understanding. “To guide you now and to witness.” He cleared his throat. “Loose the holds.”
For a moment longer there was utter stillness.
Then Torrullin stepped into Elianas and found his mouth unerringly in the dark. The man felt good in his arms, familiar, welcome, whole … and his senses exploded.
Elianas, beyond sanity, wrapped a leg around Torrullin, urging him nearer … and his senses exploded.
A mighty light dived between, a darkened glow that was bright and pulsing in the lightless space, strong and hot like fire.
Teighlar was there. He placed a hand on a shoulder each and, with bizarre strength, gently disengaged them. When both looked at him without understanding, eyes dilated, he said, “This is the line of sorcerers. Look.”
He pressed his fingers into them, hard.
They saw the great light pass through him, and only then felt the burning.
Elianas gasped as agony hit him full-fledged and nearly lost his footing. His clutched at himself, thinking his flesh was on fire.
Torrullin checked his skin, his face stretched and ashen.
“Stand firm,” Teighlar said. “It is in your minds; the failsafe to separate equal powers, to prevent mingling. Here it collides and here lies the choice. This glow is the light of souls that have learned, those who transcend all realms. This is unfettered magic. This, my brothers, is the Goddess within.”
Torrullin stilled to watch the pulsing river of light, and gradually the pain receded. He looked at Elianas, who stared back at him, his face unmoving, as if a mighty abyss lay between them. Both swung to Teighlar.
“The Luvans discovered this in enforced seclusion. Man slept with man here, in every way, found this and became entranced with it. The pain, rather than dampening desire, fuelled the flames, as it does to you, and to me.” Teighlar was mightily erect. “But the Goddess of Souls is not merely the light of knowledge, and neither is she an aphrodisiac. She is the choice in all of us, every man, woman and child. We, as men of power, as enchanters, we are fortunate in that we may consciously make our choices; we alone see her.”
Torrullin said, “To make a conscious choice, we need be aware of what awaits such choice.”
“This is why I stay as your guide. What happens here is what happens anywhere, even in ethereal form. A coupling of the spirit is as binding and as overflowed with these desires between you now in physical form. You will feel the same pleasure, and the same pain.”
“What lies beyond choice?” Elianas asked. “Beyond this line?”
“Cross it as brothers of the soul, and you retain all you are. Cross it as lovers, and you retain the same.”
“Where, then, is the danger?” Torrullin asked.
“In what we lose,” Elianas whispered.
“Indeed. Cross it as brothers and you lose your desire for each other. You learn, you transcend. But cross it as lovers, and you lose each other. It is a soul’s loss, not form. The Luvans chose both, and those that did so as lovers … well, they could not stop. Every desire was heightened and the release of fulfilment was always out of reach.” Teighlar’s erection pulsed. “It is a powerful and dangerous lust, and hard to deny.”
Elianas swallowed, his gaze on Torrullin. “And finally?”
“Yes, there is a finally. Another choice comes eventually, but it is a choice you may discover only after this one.”
“Must we choose here?” Torrullin asked.
“You may wait until you achieve ethereal form. I simply seek to give you the proper guidance. I believe you would do the same for me.”
“I would, yes. One more point, if a choice is made here, can it be changed in ethereal form?”
“No.”
“I have another question,” Elianas said. “What if our choices are different?”
“Then betrayal is implicit.”
Elianas blanched.
Torrullin closed his eyes.
“If only one chooses brotherhood, the other feels betrayed. If he agrees to the crossing, yet does not choose it himself, he betrays himself also. If the lover option is exercised, the same applies. However, it is in the forcing of will where the real betrayal lies. If Torrullin forces you, Elianas, to choose as a brother and you do so coerced, the choice is without form. If he forces you into a sexual act, which you wish to deny, then the betrayal is complete. The line will not leave you; it will drive you on and on and on until it smothers you. Both of you.”
Silence once more.
Teighlar took his hands from them and stepped away. “I ha
ve no more to say. Now I witness only. May you choose wisely, and in unity.”
He retreated until the shadows swallowed him.
WITH THE BRIGHT river of light between then, they knew they were divided.
Elianas addressed it first. “We are at odds in our choice. We dare not make one here.”
“We shall remain at odds, even in ethereal form.”
Elianas stepped closer so that the light surrounded them. “Then there is only one choice to make.”
Torrullin stepped in and drew Elianas to him. They cleaved together without the heat of a minute past, yet it lay waiting to be stoked. Torrullin stroked a hand down Elianas’ back, marvelling at the man’s smooth skin, and Elianas put his lips to Torrullin’s shoulder, tasted there. He cupped his rear with gentle pressure.
“The only choice is not to choose,” Torrullin murmured, his mouth in Elianas’ neck.
“Not to cross the line,” Elianas agreed, and bit down.
Torrullin arched, pulled Elianas’ head back by his hair and then his mouth crashed down in answer to the challenge.
Teighlar, somewhere sighed.
What happened next stunned him.
The light went out, plunging the cave into darkness.
He understood. As they had no intention of crossing the line by any choice, it had left. Yet he could hear them; they pushed the limit to the very edge.
Teighlar crashed into them. “Stop it! This is not the answer. It is no answer, damn it!”
Torrullin swore. “Leave us.”
“Idiot, you cannot leave without me, and I will not sit in a corner while you two fuck each other in every way besides actual penetration. All you will achieve is to make disparity greater and you will hate each other more in the light of day.”
“Put a light on,” Elianas said.
“No light in here,” Teighlar snapped.
Torrullin threw a globe up.
Elianas found his sarong and tied it tight. He pointed a finger at the Emperor. “You stopped nothing, for intention is as valid as the act. In my mind this now happened.” He bent, retrieved Torrullin’s pants and threw it over. “Am I right, Valla?”
Lore of Sanctum Omnibus Page 108
