by S. J. West
“Hi, I’m Nick,” he held out his hand to me across the counter.
I shook his hand. “Lilly.”
I noticed him looking me up and down as I rang up his items.
“So what school do you go to?” he asked.
“South Clarks. You?”
“I go to St. Benedicts in town.”
“Do you like it?”
“I’d like it better if we had pretty girls like you there.”
Ok, in my defense I was only sixteen and to have a cute boy like Nick waltz into my life at the exact moment I needed someone to flatter me was, to say the least, perfect timing.
He asked me to go to the county fair with him that Friday night. I said yes and quietly hoped Will would be there with Jessi. Friday night was the most popular night to go to the fair. You could ride all the rides you wanted for ten bucks.
Nick picked me up in a restored dark blue 1966 Pontiac GTO with white racing stripes. He told me almost every detail of the restoration on the way to the fair. I tried to find it as interesting as possible or at least pretend convincingly that I found it interesting by asking follow up questions.
The fair was crowded that night, as I had already assumed it would be. I think we must have ridden every ride there at least twice. I ended up having so much fun I completely forgot to look for Will in the crowds. Late in the evening, we ran into a couple of Nick’s friends from his school. They handed Nick a jumbo size plastic cup and told him to enjoy.
“What is that?” I asked him.
“It’s crown and coke. Want some?”
“No,” I told him, watching in amazement as he sucked half of it through the straw in just a few minutes. I didn’t like him drinking, but I didn’t know him well enough to chastise him for it.
The rest of the night went downhill from there. Nick and his friends were pretty hammered an hour later. Why do people get so stupid when they drink? It’s almost like they devolve into Neanderthals or something. Case in point: I was standing by the rail of the next ride we were going on when I felt a slight draft up my shirt. I whipped around to see what was going on and found three giggling juveniles behind me. Apparently, Nick had told his good old buddies that I had a cute behind. They told him to prove it and so he lifted the back of my babydoll shirt so they could see for themselves.
It was then I asked Nick to take me home.
“I don’t know what you’re so upset about,” he slurred, stumbling to his car. “You have a cute ass, what’s wrong with showing it off?”
I wanted to slap him dizzy but since he could barely stand on his own two feet as it was, I figured it probably wouldn’t be the nicest thing to do.
“Give me your keys,” I told him holding my hand out.
“No way! Nobody drives my baby but me.”
“I am not letting you drive me or yourself home. I’ll drive you home and call my mom to pick me up from your house. Now hand me the keys!”
“Are you having a problem here, Lilly?”
I swirled around and saw Will standing right behind me. My heart felt like it was lodged in my throat being so close to him again.
“He won’t let me drive him home,” I said lamely.
“Why don’t you let me drive you both home?” Will said more to Nick than to me. “You’re not in any shape to drive, friend.”
“Ya’ll just need to get outta my way,” Nick jumped into his car and cranked the engine. “I can drive my own car just fine. Just watch me.”
Before we could try to stop him, Nick spun out of the parking lot leaving me standing alone with Will.
“Come on, Lilly. I’ll take you home.”
There wasn’t anything else I could do really. It was almost midnight and I knew my mom would be asleep by now. Tara had gone to spend a couple of days with some of her cousins in Shreveport so calling her was out of the question. So, without saying anything or looking at him, I followed Will to the new Honda Civic his parents just bought him as a senior year present.
The drive home was in silence for the most part. After a few minutes, I finally broke the quiet.
“So where’s Jessi? I thought she would be with you.” Did I dare to hope they had broken up?
“She left a couple of hours ago with some of her friends.”
“Oh.” That was odd. Why wouldn’t she have waited and left with Will? It seemed like a logical question so I asked it. “Why didn’t she leave with you?”
“Because she was getting aggravated with me watching after you all night.” I hated his tone just then, so condescending, like I was some child who needed to be looked after.
“Well I certainly don’t remember asking you to watch over me like some protective mother hen, Will Allen. I didn’t even know you were around. Even if I did, I wouldn’t have expected you to try and protect me from what ever it is you think was going to happen.”
“What else was I going to do, Lilly? You didn’t hear that boy bragging to his friends about what you guys were going to be doing after the fair!”
That really got me riled up. “You’ve known me all my life! Do you really think I would just roll around with the first boy who came along and showed some interest?”
“I know you wouldn’t, but that boy was drunk and a lot bigger than you. Do you think I could have lived with myself if I just left you with him? What if he had tried to force himself on you? Would you have been able to fight him off?”
I didn’t know what to say. No, I couldn’t have fought Nick off. He was a good foot and a half taller than me and at least sixty pounds heavier. He’d also been wasted out of his mind. I knew I should have thanked Will for watching after me, but my pride just wouldn’t allow it.
“I’m sorry, Lilly.”
I looked over at Will then and noticed the pain etched across his face.
“Sorry for what?” I whispered, hoping not to hear what I knew his next words would be.
“I’m sorry for kissing you. If I hadn’t, everything would be normal again.”
He couldn’t have said anything worse to me in that moment. It felt like his words tore my heart into a million little pieces within my chest. How could he sully the most beautiful of my memories? A moment so perfect it was almost like a dream. I wanted to cry and shout and beat him to within an inch of his life for what he’d just done. But, I ended up just sitting there, crying silently until he stopped in front of my mom’s trailer. I jumped out of the car and ran inside as fast as I could. I curled up on my bed and ended up crying myself to sleep.
The next morning Cora barged into my room with a wild eyed look of worry I’d never seen before.
“Oh thank God!” She lunged at me and hugged me so hard I was sure I’d have bruises the next day.
“Geesh, Mom. You’re hurting me,” I groaned trying to pry her off. She finally let me sit up in the bed. “What’s wrong?”
“I just caught the end of a news report on TV. That boy you went out with last night died in a wreck. They found his car in the lake but haven’t found his body yet. I swear to God I’ve never been so scared in my life. I didn’t hear you come in last night and you just can’t imagine what went through my head.”
And so, Fate had struck again. Only this time it had taken another life that wasn’t mine. Had Nick died because of me? I wasn’t sure. And why did it seem like Will was always one step ahead of Fate? Was he my own personal guardian angel or bad luck talisman?
The next year of high school was torture for me. Almost everyday I had to watch Will and Jessi act like the perfect couple at school. I was so happy when that year ended and they both went off to college. Jessi ended up going to Cornell and Will decided to stay close to home and go to Southeastern. I always found that odd. I figured Will would go to Harvard or something. He was super smart. He could have gone anywhere he wanted. Why did he settle for a state college so close to home?
After I blurted out my life story to Brand, I told him my suspicion about Will’s inexplicable connection with all the close calls
I’d had in my life. I’d never told that part to anyone, not even Tara.
“Even tonight,” I said, “if he hadn’t forced you to speed up, we would be underneath that plane right now. It’s almost like he knows what’s going to happen.”
Brand was silent during my possibly incoherent tirade, but I could feel the tension in his body and sense the somber mood my diatribe had instilled in him.
“I think we need to get you home,” he finally said cupping my tear stained face between his hands. He kissed me on the forehead as though his lips could erase my bad memories and helped me get back into his car.
The ride back to my apartment was in mutual silence. I just didn’t have the energy to make polite casual conversation and apparently Brand was in the same state of mind.
When we pulled up in front of my apartment, Tara dashed out the door and flew into my arms as I got out of the car.
“Oh my God, I was so worried you’d been on the highway. Did you hear about that plane crashing? It’s all their talking about on TV.”
Brand explained we had seen it crash and told Tara I was still pretty shaken up about it.
“Come on, girl, I’ll make us some hot chocolate and cookies,” Tara put her arm around my waist and turned to Brand. “Would you like to come in, hon?”
“No, I should get back home. Lilly should rest.” Brand looked at me and tried to smile, but I could see the worry on his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch.”
I just nodded my head and followed Tara’s lead back into the apartment.
Tara pretty much ordered me to go take a hot shower and put on my flannel pajamas. When I got back into the living room, I could smell freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate waiting for me.
“What do you think Brand wants to talk to Will about?” Tara asked placing a plate of cookies in front of me on the counter which acted as a natural divider separating the kitchen from the living room.
“What makes you think he wants to talk to Will?” I asked perplexed.
“When you were in the shower he came back and asked me where Will lived, but all he said when I asked why he wanted to know was that he just needed to talk about somethin’ with him.”
I told Tara about the scene outside the restaurant and the wild ride on the highway.
“Well I hope he gives Will a good tongue lashin’” Tara threw the pan she had cooked the cookies on into the sink. “Next time I see him that’s exactly what he’s gonna be gettin’ from me!”
I didn’t feel like telling Tara that Will’s insane behavior had probably saved my life.
Again.
I knew eventually I would need to talk to Will myself and find out why he was always saving me, or at least that’s what it seemed like.
Chapter 4
At lunch the next day, I went to the Commons terrace and waited for Brand. I sat there alone for about fifteen minutes before one of the campus security guards found me.
“Are you Lilly Nightingale?” he asked brusquely.
“Yes.”
“Here.” He handed me a piece of paper and stalked off.
I opened the note. It wasn’t in Brand’s hand writing but it was from him.
Sorry. Won’t be able to make it to lunch today. Remind me to get your cell phone number the next time I see you. Love Brand.
I was disappointed I wouldn’t be seeing him that afternoon and wondered how long I would have to wait before I saw him again. The only saving grace to the note was the way it was signed.
After I threw away my trash from lunch, I started walking to the science building to work on a PowerPoint presentation Dr. Barry needed for a meeting in New Orleans the following week. As I turned at the corner of the Commons building, I saw Tara standing in front of a man I had never seen before. He had a Rastafarian look about him with a head full of dread locks, beanie hat and colorful hippie styled clothing. I saw him hand her a small Ziploc bag with some type of white powder in it. She quickly put the bag in her purse and handed him some money. They parted ways without saying a word to each other.
I don’t think I moved for at least five minutes. Had I seen what I thought I’d seen? Had Tara just bought a bag of cocaine? What else could it be? What else do you buy from a hippie that comes in the form of white powder and requires a silent money exchange? I knew Tara’s mother had been a drug addict, and I knew such addictions could be handed down hereditarily. But, just the thought of Tara following the same path as her mother terrified me.
The rest of the afternoon all I could think about was seeing Tara buy drugs. What should I do? I had to do something. Should I call Utha Mae and get her advice? What about my mother? Would she be any help in a situation like this?
By the time I got back to the apartment, I had decided on a course of action.
Tara was in the apartment when I got home cooking some eggs and sausage for dinner. There was a vase of what looked like two dozen red roses sitting on the kitchen counter.
“Hey,” Tara smiled at me and pointed to the flowers. “I think Brand sent these. They just delivered them so I ain’t looked at the card yet.”
I put my books down and reached for the card. They weren’t from Brand.
I’m sorry about scaring you last night. I hope you can forgive me.
Yours always, Will
“They from Mister Wonderful?” Tara asked dishing out some scrambled eggs onto two plates.
“No,” I said putting the card back into the envelope and putting it in my back pocket.
“Who they from then?” Tara asked. “You don’t have another boyfriend I need to know about do you?”
“It really doesn’t matter who they’re from,” I said exasperated. “Right now, you and I need to talk about something a lot more important.”
Tara’s forehead creased in worry. “What’s wrong? Somethin’ happen today?”
“Yeah, something happened today,” I knew my voice was almost yelling but I couldn’t help it. “I saw you buying drugs at lunch. That’s what happened today!”
Tara’s face paled. I’d never seen her look so uncomfortable in her life.
“You need to forget what you saw, Lilly Rayne Nightingale. I don’t want to talk about it.” She handed me a plate with eggs and sausage on it thinking that would mark the end of our conversation.
“Have you lost your mind?” I asked hysterically. “You want me to forget that my best friend is using drugs? Well, that’s not going to happen!” I slammed the plate down on the kitchen bar almost spilling its contents onto the floor.
“Lilly, you need to calm down, girl. I wasn’t buying drugs.”
“Give me a break, Tara. What else do you buy from some guy off the street that comes in the form of white powder?”
“Let… it…go.”
“I’m calling Utha Mae,” I headed to the phone we had in the kitchen.
Tara beat me to it. “You ain’t doin’ no such thing!”
“Then talk to me, Tara. Why shouldn’t I try to get you some help? You’d do the same thing for me if the tables were turned.”
Tara sighed in resignation and walked to the living room to retrieve her purse. She pulled out the zip-lock bag and handed it to me.
“Look for yourself, it ain’t cocaine. Taste it if you want.”
I looked at the contents of the bag and noticed it wasn’t exactly white powder like I had thought at a distance. It was more like chunks of some sort of white material which resembled chalk. Not having a clue what cocaine would taste like but wanting to know what she had bought, I broke off a small piece between my fingers and placed it on my tongue. Well, it was earthy, with a chalky smooth texture that immediately caused me to start gagging. I went to the sink and spat it out.
“What in the hell is that stuff?” I asked her after washing my mouth and scraping every last bit off my tongue. “It tastes like dirt!”
“It is dirt.”
“Dirt? Like dirt from the ground?”
“Yeah,” she stuffed
the bag back in her purse. “That guy goes to this place in Alabama once a month and brings back the dirt to sell.”
“Why would you want to eat dirt?”
Tara shrugged. “I dunno. It taste good to me.”
“When did you start eating dirt?” I had never in my whole life seen Tara eat dirt. Never.
“I saw a girl eating it in the Commons the other day and she let me try it. I think I’m addicted to it now,” Tara said totally chagrined, an expression I had rarely seen on Tara’s face. I could tell she was embarrassed by her new found passion of dirt eating. So, I didn’t push it. I let it go like she had asked me to earlier, but filed the information away for later teasing.
While we were cleaning the kitchen up, the phone rang. Tara answered it.
“Well hey Mister Wonderful, what’s up?” Tara looked up at me and mouthed the word ‘Brand’, like I didn’t know that already. Who else would she address as Mister Wonderful?
Whatever he said made her laugh and she handed me the phone.
“Hey, missed you at lunch today,” I told him.
“Yeah, really sorry about that. I had to take care of something important. In fact, I probably won’t be at school tomorrow either. So, I was hoping I might be able to come see you tonight for a little while. If that’s all right?”
The hopeful uncertainty in his voice made me feel like I was someone important, at least to him.
“I’d really like that,” I told him letting him hear the longing in my heart so he would understand I wasn’t just saying it out of politeness.
“Ok, I’ll be there in a few minutes. Can’t wait to see you, Lilly.”
“See you soon.” I hung up the phone.
I stood motionless trying to come to terms with the fact Brand really did like me. It took me a few seconds to realize Tara was staring at me.
“What?” I asked wiping at my face. “Do I have something on me?”
“Uh- uh,” she said crossing her arms with a self satisfied grin on her face. “I think it might be looove.”
