Red Dress

by Bridget Finklaire

  “Wow! I’ve never even heard of this place!”

  “Amazing, isn’t it?”

  “Incredible. Is that the London Eye over there?”

  “Yep. And you can see Big Ben, the BT Tower or whatever it’s called nowadays, St. Paul’s, the City, and that big one over there with the triangle on top is Canary Wharf.”

  “It’s spectacular. Let me read the legend. Oh yes, all the famous City buildings!”

  Katy beamed. “It’s one of my favorite views, this, and the one from Waterloo Bridge.”

  “I can see why! Is this part of Hampstead Heath?”

  “Yep! We can walk for a bit if you like?” She could see he didn’t want to. He looked cold, his face white and pinched, his body hunched over as he hugged himself.

  Hesitating before replying, he looked up. “Looks like it’s going to pour down any minute.”

  The sun was sinking in the pale, grey sky, slipping behind a bank of thick, black cloud. Katy found a scarf in her bag and wrapped it around her. “It’s been a lovely day,” she said. “Thank you.” Looking down at her feet for a moment, she collected her thoughts. “It’s half-past five. We’d better head back.” It had to end somewhere and right now seemed as good a time as any, even though part of her wanted to linger. She’d had fun playing at tour guide.

  “How about a drink before we go?”

  Perhaps he’d been thinking the same thing. Saying ‘no’ would be churlish, wouldn’t it?

  “Fancy going up to Highgate Village?” She loved it up there and hadn’t been for ages. This would be the perfect excuse.

  Tony frowned. “Is it far?”

  “Just up the hill. Five-minute ride. We can take the C69 Bus. There’s a couple of brilliant pubs!”

  “Sounds great! Another new one on me!” A big grin broke across his face, and a hint of color returned to his cheeks. “Righty-ho! Let’s go!”

  “Ooh, you’re a poet and don’t even know it!”

  “My mum used to say that!”

  Katy laughed. “So did mine!”

  Approaching the bus stop, she noticed two more pigeons locking beaks in a kiss. “That’s so weird!”

  “What?”

  “Those pigeons! I’ve never seen that before, and now I’ve seen it three times in one day!”

  Boarding the bus, she looked back at Tony, following close behind like a small child on a visit to the park with his Nanny! He was all eyes and wonder, like a kid in a sweet shop.

  The pub was relatively empty when they arrived, and they took a seat in the corner.

  “They’ve got real ales here! Do you fancy another beer?”

  “I fancy something to eat! Look, there’s a chalkboard!”

  Tony ordered a pint for himself, a half for Katy, and two Venison Sausages with Onion Gravy and Colcannon. Katy listened to the music that was coming from a prominent speaker on the wall behind. “They’re playing some great tunes!” she said as he sat down with the drinks.

  “Yeah, I noticed!”

  The conversation turned to music, pubs, and the places they’d visited that day. The sausages arrived, and Tony ordered a pair of pints. “You might as well have the same as me, the rate you’re drinking!”

  “No! I’m not used to it! Just a half!” But the waiter hadn’t heard and returned with two, pint glasses. Having sampled their third guest beer, Tony noticed the music was getting very loud as the pub was filling up.

  “Let’s move to the bar!” he shouted.

  “What?”

  He cupped his hands around her ear. “Can’t hear above the din. We’re right by the speaker.” He pointed up with his hand. “Let’s move to the bar. Might be quieter!”

  Katy nodded, slung her bag over her shoulder, and followed him. Sitting on barstools away from the speakers, they were able to continue their conversation above the noise. The pub was turning warm and fuzzy. Katy’s speech was slightly slurred. “I love this one!”

  “The Pale Ale?”

  “No! Yes! I do like the Pale Ale, but I was talking about the song!” She’d drunk far too much.

  “Me too! Haven’t heard it for years! Lauren hates this sort of music.”

  “So does Richard.”

  They discussed who’d seen which bands, where they’d seen them, and when. Tony ordered another beer for them both, just as a B.B. King number struck up. It was the perfect excuse to tell her about his sojourn in New Orleans where he’d learned to play guitar. The music shifted gears.

  “Ah! This one’s great!” He started to sing along to Wonderwall, slightly out of tune.

  Katy was giggling, then joining in as they got to the chorus. An uncomfortable feeling came over her when they sang the line about being saved.

  “There was something I wanted to say to you, but I won’t!” Tony was stumbling over his words.

  “I don’t remember that line?” Katy winked. “I thought it went a bit differently to that!” Recalling the lyrics as best she could, she sang it out loud, bursting out laughing as she finished. The craft beer had wobbled all the sharp edges off and loosened her up. “What did you want to say?” She had suddenly turned serious.

  “Nothing!” His ears were turning pink.

  “No! You’ve got to tell me now! You can’t just leave me hanging!” She was pulling at his lapels and giggling. “Hanging on the Telephone,” she sang it in her best Blondie impersonation, chuckling again.

  “When we were in Windsor...” He took a gulp of beer.

  “What?” She was prodding him with her forefinger and pulling a face.

  Tony fumbled with his jacket cuff, then ran a hand over his glistening pate before downing the last of his pint. “I was thinking that I wanted to lean across and kiss you!”

  Katy’s heart raced. Yes! She knew it! And Right now, she wanted to lean across and kiss him, but a thread of decorum stopped her. Gripping at the bar rail, and swaying slightly, she automatically answered in her best therapist’s voice, albeit with a slur, “And what stopped you?” It had sounded professional to her drunken ears, but she’d forgotten to suppress the enormous smile that erupted across her face. A moment later, her foot slipped off the rest, and she lurched forward, steadying herself against Tony, whose ears progressed from a delicate shade of rose to a deep crimson as he helped her back onto the stool.

  “Hold your hands up like this!” Katy was holding her palms up to him, her fingers and thumbs spread out and curved like claws.

  He mimicked her. “Like this?” They looked like children pretending to be lions.

  “Yes!” She was giddy now with exuberance. “I saw it in a dream. If our fingers touch, it’ll connect all the acupuncture meridians.”

  “What’ll happen?”

  “I don’t know!” she shrieked, leaning towards him. “Let’s see!”

  Tony’s fingertips made contact with hers. Something took over, lifting her out of herself as everything froze. The pub was silent, the people momentarily still. A slow-motion movie unfolded as she watched from beyond her body, watched herself holding her breath, waiting for reality to resume and the plot to roll forward.

  A bolt of what felt like electricity shot between them, darting down through her body to the floor. She was back in the noisy, sweaty pub. Tony crumpled forward, pressing his open mouth against hers as she stood up to meet him. A surge of energy powered through her from above, buckling her knees in an instant. Slumping back on the stool, she grabbed Tony, who was holding onto her, his strong arms wrapped around her. Everyone and everything in the pub dissolved. It was just the two of them. There was nothing save this moment: the chemical explosion inside, the magnetic bond and the overwhelming urge to press skin against skin. Tony broke the spell, his hands on the small of her back, his eyes boring through hers. “I love you, and I want you in my life. I want you by my side in this life and the next, and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes. I’m leaving Lauren.” It all came out in one go, like lines from an old movie.

  Katy’s mouth hung open,
her eyes blinking into the muted light. The people, the pub, the noises had returned. Was this really happening?

  “I love you now, and I loved you then,” continued Tony. “I’ve always loved you.”

  Katy was too shocked to speak, frozen to the spot, her mouth still gaping.

  He carried on. “I ran away because it was too much for a seventeen-year-old, but now I’m sure. I know what I want. I want you, Katherine.”

  Pulling away and holding onto his elbows, she tried to think, but her mind had seized up. “I, I don’t know, Tony.” She couldn’t get her words out at first. “I’m married to Richard. I’ve got kids!” The full horror struck her. She didn’t want to break up her family or hurt the husband that she cared for. Her eyes were darting from side to side. “It’s all happening too fast!”

  Breaking free of his grip, she headed to the Ladies. Oh my God, what had she done? Her and her bloody games! Look where it had got her! She sat in the cubicle, dumfounded, gathering herself. Clinging to the rock of what remained of her rational mind and professional training, she staggered back to the bar, but the rock wasn’t robust enough, and it slipped from her grip. The beer had made her light-headed, and she was feeling dizzy. It was so stupid to drink, she wasn’t used to it. Pushing herself precariously onto the barstool, she took one look at Tony and a thousand teenage memories came back in a single deluge. Lurching forward, she clutched at him, holding on with a passionate clinch, running her hands over his broad shoulders and down his back.

  “You know when Katherine Fralinski’s touching you,” said Tony. “It sends a shock wave right through you.” Taking her face in his warm hands, he kissed her tenderly then pulled back, looking her straight in the eye. “You could touch me anywhere, any time, and I’d know it was you.”

  An old Pink Floyd number banged out on the sound system. They were both singing along to Wish You Were Here, the lyrics seemingly echoing their deepest thoughts.

  “I think he wrote it about Syd Barrett?” they both said together.

  Katy was powerless to stop herself as she nuzzled into him, closing her eyes, losing herself, and kissing him passionately. People were probably staring, but she didn’t give a fudge. Coming up for air, she spoke again. “Do you remember when it came out in the 70s?”

  “Yeah! I had the album!”

  “So did I!”

  It had been one of the theme-tunes of their misspent youth, hanging out with the long-haired hippies and smoking cheap hash from Morocco.

  “Two souls, lost. That’s us!” said Tony.

  “Someone with a sense of humor has rigged the playlist!”

  “Ah! Remember this one?”

  “I haven’t heard it for years!”

  They sang along to the bits they recalled: “Just the Way You Are!”

  “It’s Billy Joel, isn’t it?”

  Song after song rang out with prophetic lyrics, each confirming to Katy that she was doing the right thing. A mysterious supernatural power was showing her sign after sign. Three pairs of pigeons, the poster at the station this morning, and now this playlist. You couldn’t make it up!

  Tony didn’t seem to care who was looking as he enthusiastically smooched her. Katy lost herself further with each impassioned embrace. They appeared to be melting into one another as the evening wore on.

  “Come on, let’s go!” Tony’s eyes were twinkling as he took her by the hand, leading her out into a side street. Staggering across the road, he let go and stopped in a darkened doorway. “Hey!” he called. “If you put your hands down my trousers, I can’t be held responsible for what will happen.” He muttered something about a fantasy, but she didn’t quite catch it. High on endorphins and Pale Ale, Katy was a rebel teenager all over again, plunging her hand down the front of his jeans and squealing with delight at what she found. Two drunken figures collapsed into the shadowy doorway, grinding their hips together and kissing fervently.

  “Stop!” shouted Katy. It had gone too far, and she wanted it to end. Her family were waiting for her. “We’re going to get arrested!” Giggling now, the alcohol and teenage memories sweeping away the sober thoughts of home, she realized she couldn’t stop if she wanted to. Ten years of flat-lined libido had been fully resuscitated. A torrent of arousal, which had been barricaded firmly behind marital dissonance, broke free. Tony was raging out of control as if she’d been the match that set fire to his forest.

  “I can’t think of anything better!” He laughed. “Getting arrested for indecency at our age!” Thrusting himself frantically against her, he closed his mouth over hers, his tongue pushing. Breaking free for a moment and looking up at him through her eyelashes, she coyly said, “I’m all slippy,” before nibbling gently at his earlobe. The seam of her tight jeans was rubbing, adding to the mounting pleasure that was taking her over.

  “Come on! Let’s go to the heath!” There was a note of desperation in his voice that frightened her.

  “No!” She was holding him at arm’s length when she noticed his flies were open. “I don’t want to!”

  “Liar!” he sniggered, jabbing his pelvis into hers and pumping.

  “Well I do want to, but not like this! It’s got to be right!”

  “What could be more right than this?” His hands worked their way into her jeans, and he fondled her peachy bottom before pulling at the top of her panties.

  “I don’t want to have a shabby bonk in the park and regret it later!”

  “You won’t regret it, I promise.” He lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around him to steady herself. A quiver of ecstasy shivered through her, and she unfurled herself, jumping to the ground.

  “I don’t want to have an affair!” Through the beer-haze, she was trying to sober up and make sense of what was happening. Straightening her top, she mustered her thoughts. “If we end up making love, I want it to be special!”

  “It will be special!” he moaned. “I have to have you, now!”

  “We’ve got to do this properly!”

  “We will. Come on!” he growled. “I’m not sure I can handle it much longer, look at me!” His hands were running over her body, his breathing heavy as he pressed himself against her.

  “It has to be above board, Tony,” she reasoned, holding him at arm’s length. “Not a quickie on the Heath!”

  “I agree. Let’s go to a fancy hotel. I’ve got to! Look!” he said, pushing down his boxers to reveal his ardor.

  Swept away by the alcohol, the boldness of what he’d done, and the memories of over thirty years ago, she reached out with her fingertips. Gently stroking, and delighting in the reaction, every inch of her wanted to go the whole hog. The forty-seven-year-old woman inside fought back. She mustn’t. She was married now, with children. The brakes had to go on right now! “Let’s sober up and see how we feel in the morning.” Yes. That was the sensible phrase she’d been searching for. “We have to be sure it’s what we want in the cold light of day.” Thank God, her faculties were coming back. Taking a deep breath, she stepped away and straightened herself up. “If it’s real, we need to be careful. People could get hurt.” She smoothed down her hair which had curled in the rain and was now looking like a mad, cropped bed head. “We have to think this through with a clear mind.”

  “Pleeeease!” Tony stamped his foot like a child who’d been told he couldn’t go out to play.

  “No. I’m not going to upset Richard. If it’s true for us to be together, we’ll do it when the time is right, but not before.”

  “Go on, Katy! You want it just as much as I do!”

  “I want it to mean something!”

  He nuzzled into her neck. “I don’t believe in sex without love,” he schmoozed. “I love you!” He stepped back and motioned with his hand. “Look how hard I am! That ain’t going to go away!”

  “Tony! We’re in a public place! Put it away, for God’s sake!” Glancing at her watch, she shrieked in horror. “Sh-sugar! It’s half-past eleven! We’re going to miss the bloody train!”

/>   “Shit, I’ll be toast if I don’t get home!”

  A bus was laboring up the hill. If they ran fast enough, they might get to the stop in time. Panting and out of breath, they slumped on the first seat they could find. Tony was gazing at her, a star-struck look in his eyes. He reached for her hand, entwining his fingers in hers, then bringing it to his mouth to delicately kiss the back. A luxurious, liquid euphoria seemed to be oozing through her entire system. Letting go, he placed his warm palm on her thigh and gently stroked with his thumb. A tingling sensation of arousal blended deliciously with her already blissful state. At Paddington, he hugged her tight before running to catch the last train to Oxford. “See you Monday!” he called out behind him.

  She’d forgotten about their third appointment. It was going to be a tense weekend. Rushing down into the underground, she was relieved to find she had a few minutes to spare before the train arrived. Her thoughts turned to Richard, and she began to sober up. There was a weak mobile signal on the Circle Line platform, and she messaged him.

  Sorry I’m late. Went to a pub with real ale & music. Lost track of time. On my way. x

  Thank goodness she’d told him what she was doing. Her husband knew her well enough to believe her. Once she was out on a social, she often forgot about time.

  Missing the last train from Hammersmith, she took a night bus to Chiswick High Road. Her phone buzzed. It’d be Rich checking in.

  I’m on the train. I don’t regret a single thing. I love you. Speak tomorrow xxxxxx

  Six kisses. Her face burned hot as she gazed out of the window at the familiar streets which this evening looked so surreal. Her pulse was racing as she walked the last few hundred yards home. Home is where the heart is. Oh my God, what had she done?

  The latch sprang loudly as she turned her key in the lock. “Shh, Constantine!” she whispered. Avoiding the windchimes, her heart thumping furiously, she crept through the door and removed her boots. Tiptoeing down the hallway in stockinged feet, she noticed the snug light was still on. Richard was sprawled on the sofa, the Evening Standard on his lap, the television remote in his hand.

  “Sorry!” She smiled weakly.