Red Dress

by Bridget Finklaire

  There was a flash of lightning and the supermarket, and everything in it disappeared. The resulting clap of thunder shook Katy to the core. Standing in a field of white light, Tony by her side, she heard a reverberating voice say, “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”

  Waking in a sweat, the sheets tangled around her, she noticed the rain outside was bucketing down. Behind the curtains, the sky lit up momentarily, and seconds later, the thunder rolled. She must have heard the storm in her sleep and woven it into her dream. Padding to the bathroom she splashed her face with water, the last scene still haunting her. That was the marriage vow! What God has joined, let no man put asunder. There was no point writing it down. It would be better to talk to her friends about it. Making a mental note to organize an urgent catch-up with Shanti, Ben and Tara, she returned to bed, but not to sleep. It would be good to get Fran along, too, get a therapist’s perspective without it being Terry’s. She’d sort it out tomorrow. Relaxing her body as best she could and observing the breath in her nostrils, she struggled to maintain focus. Somebody told her once that lying motionless was as good as sleep, as long as you could keep both body and mind still. About ten minutes later, she turned over, her mind recounting her earlier phone conversation with Tony. In a few hours, she’d be seeing him again. Her heart skipped a beat, and the corners of her mouth turned into a broad smile.

  Chapter 27

  Monday 11th May, 2009 – a nine day

  Jane Joyheart had replied:

  Your dowsing is 120% accurate. As long as you weren’t expecting/wishing for something specific, you can be sure. My pendulum says you’re correct.

  Katy checked her emails, hoping there would be something from Dinah. Nothing yet. It might be quicker to message her friends about meeting up, rather than call them. Tara and Ben would be thrilled to see Fran again! It was Katy who had recommended her for hypnobirthing when Tara was pregnant with Hazel. Lunch at a restaurant would be preferable. She needed to see them as soon as possible, and on neutral ground.

  Need an urgent catch up with you all. Lots happening. I know it’s short notice, but can you make lunch tomorrow? I’ll pay! Tara – bring the kids if you need to. St James’s Café in the Park, 1 pm? Let me know xx

  After consulting her diary, she prepared her client files for the afternoon, then showered and dressed. A small square of dark chocolate and a cup of mint tea was all she could manage for breakfast. Her hands were shaking, her pulse racing as she left the house. By the time she got to the station, the butterflies were gathering strength.

  As she crossed Piccadilly Circus she spotted Tony, standing near the statue of Eros. He was dressed in a smart suit, his briefcase in one hand, an overcoat slung over his arm. Her heart beat wildly as she rushed towards him. This time there was no hesitation, and they both leaned in for a full kiss.

  “Hello, Gorgeous! I missed you over the weekend,” he said, pulling her towards him.

  Squeezing each other tight, and grinning from ear to ear, they both realized how hungry they were.

  “I’m starving!” Katy had lost weight over the weekend, she’d eaten so little.

  “Me too!”

  “My butterflies have finally gone!”

  “So have mine! Let’s go!”

  “Where you taking me?”

  “Surprise! Follow me!”

  Katy wondered where they were heading as they strolled arm-in-arm up Piccadilly. It was sublime to be with a short man. This would have been impossible with Richard. Outside a rather grand old building, Tony stopped. “After you, madam!”

  It was the Royal Air Force Club! She’d never been inside before and was giddy with excitement. Thank goodness she was wearing her smart work clothes. Tony was the perfect gentleman, opening the door, guiding her to the table, pulling out her chair. Feeling like a princess, she sat, back upright, legs tucked neatly together, trying to recall the last time someone had treated her like this.

  Sitting in the sumptuous dining room, they ordered from the breakfast menu. Tony was touching her continually, holding her hand or placing his palm on her back, lightly resting his fingers on her knee, or tipping her chin up towards him, and gazing at her face. They couldn’t take their eyes off each other. Katy felt compelled to maintain contact with him, a gesture here, a squeeze there and a soft caress. The conversation flowed effortlessly as they chatted about their weekend, their inability to eat, their respective spouses.

  “The only time I feel sane is when I’m with you,” he said, fondling her hand.

  “I know what you mean.”

  “I knew I’d be able to eat once you were by my side.” Breakfast had arrived, and he was tucking into scrambled egg with smoked salmon.

  “I’ve been on the Tony Verde diet. Kiss him in a pub, and you instantly lose three pounds! At this rate, I’ll get to my target weight in a couple of weeks!”

  “You look fine as you are, to me.” He eyed her up and down with approval.

  “Tony, we need to talk.”

  “Be my guest!”

  “I’m serious.”

  “So am I!”

  Hesitating, she took another mouthful of eggs Benedict. “We’re both married, and we’ve both got kids.”

  “And we’re both unhappy.”

  “I don’t know. Richard and I get on well.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “I know you and Lauren don’t see eye-to-eye. You told me she doesn’t like red wine or olives, doesn’t like your sort of music, but that’s the thing, Richard does! He loves those things, and he’s got good music taste, just doesn’t like old 70s rock!”

  “Listen, if your marriage was great, you wouldn’t have done what you’ve done! You wouldn’t be sitting here with me right now, would you?”

  “I don’t know. Perhaps it’s unfinished business from the past?”

  “I think you’re just papering over the cracks in your marriage, and you have been for a long time. Underneath it’s in bits.”

  Katy took a sip of tea. “I want to be sure of what I’m doing.” Setting the bone china cup back on its saucer, she added, “And I don’t want to have an affair.”

  “Nor do I! I want to spend my life with you!”

  “That’s the thing. It’s all happening so fast, and I think we need to be certain before we jump into it, hook, line and sinker.”

  “I am certain, and it’s a bit late now, we’re already hooked!”

  “I’ve contacted a friend of mine, Dinah, about our soul contract. It’ll give us an idea of our soul relationship, and that’ll help us decide if we’re doing the right thing.”

  “I already know I’m doing the right thing, but if you want to get it done, go ahead! Anything that reassures you is fine by me!”

  “You’d probably need to go and see her too.”

  “Okay. How much does it cost?”

  “A couple of hundred quid, but I’ll pay – it’s me who wants it done!”

  “Righty-ho! Set it up and let me have the details.”

  “Thank you.” She squeezed his hand. Feeling more settled now, a broad beam lit up her face.

  “Tell me a bit more about it. I’ve never heard of a soul contract before.”

  Katy explained as he listened, nodding in the right places, and asking relevant questions.

  “They have some really lovely rooms here,” said Tony, changing the subject.

  “No! I told you! I’m not having an affair.”

  Tony laughed. “Okay! I’m prepared to wait. Let’s go for a walk in the park.” He signaled to the waiter and settled the bill.

  The trees in Green Park had been there for years, their trunks wide enough to hide behind. Tony led her to the edge of the grass and found a suitable old London Plane. Taking her around the side and checking the coast was clear, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her towards him, kissing her excitedly, running a hand over her breast then squeezing her bottom. Leaning back against the trunk, she tugged at his belt, yanking him closer, her to
ngue darting into his mouth. He thrust his pelvis into hers, pressing hard against her. A tremble of excitement coursed through her as she held him close. “I can’t!” she breathed into his ear, “I’ve got to go to work!” He was undoing her top and kissing her belly. “Tony!” she moaned. “We’ve got to stop! People can see!”

  Buttoning herself up and straightening her jacket, she ran a hand through her hair. “If I don’t leave now, I’ll be late.”

  “Listen, I can’t see you tomorrow. I’m at Brize Norton but can get into town on Thursday.”

  “I’m working from 3 o’clock.”

  “I’ll meet you at eleven hundred hours at the café in Little Venice.”

  “Okay, see you then! I should have heard from Dinah by then!”

  “Here’s looking at you, Beautiful! I’ll walk you to the station.”

  “It’s okay, I’ll walk through the back streets from here. See you Thursday!”

  “Have a good one with your clients, Gorgeous!”

  Sugar! She’d better get her head around work. After a lingering goodbye kiss, she paced across the park and through the streets of Mayfair, weaving her way towards Harley Street.

  Heart still thumping, she wondered how she’d manage her first patient, but as soon as reception rang through the professional in her took over. She’d done her ten thousand hours, and it showed. Sailing through her appointments with laser-like focus, she completely forgot about Tony for six whole hours. For the first time in days, she felt normal. Within thirty minutes, the illusion was shattered, as she walked back into the eye of the storm, lashed by a tumult of emotions.

  Turning her phone back on, it lit up like a Christmas Tree. Tara was meeting Ben in town then joining her at St James’s Café. She might be a bit late. Her kids were staying with a friend. Shanti had organized cover at the shop and would meet her there, and Fran had moved her 2 o’clock client so she could stay for longer. Perfect! They could all make it at short notice.

  There were three voice mails from Tony and three text messages, each one more gushing than the last.

  You looked stunning again today, my Gorgeous. Can’t stop thinking about you. xxx

  Hello, Sexy! Can’t wait to kiss those beautiful lips again. xxx

  I miss you more than you can imagine. I love you. xxx

  Richard had never written anything like that, and he’d majored in literature! No love letter, no songs, no poetic email or gushing text message. The most she’d got was “Happy Birthday Kit xx” His words were usually prompt, to-the-point and business-like. “Running late. Home by 8 pm. x.” If only he’d made an effort, perhaps she wouldn’t be in this mess! All those songs he’d written, and they were all about himself. Not a single lyric about her. Nothing even dedicated to her. Picking up her phone, she tapped out a message to Tony.

  Thank you for a lovely brunch and thanks for being you. Can’t wait to see you Thursday at our café. xxx

  She had to slow down! Trying to live a secret life was driving her crazy, and it had only been a few days! At this rate, the tension would snap her in two, and they could each have a part of her! After packing her client notes into her bag, she left the office and headed towards Oxford Circus. The thrill of it all was too much, and she decided to walk off the feverishness. Pounding along Oxford Street, her breathing heavy, her legs aching from the effort, she marshalled her thoughts. It had to be handled sensitively. She wasn’t going to make any significant moves until she’d spoken to her friends and heard from Dinah. Turning down a side street towards Mayfair, she kept powerwalking. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Richard and the children. Huh! Children! They were nearly adults, for goodness sake. Tilly would be seventeen soon! It would be better to stay with Richard until they were at university. But what if her soul was dependent on her following her truth right now? Anyway, how could she be sure it was her truth? Oh my! Why had she started all this in the first place? It wasn’t exactly a walk in the park! That thought brought her full circle to Green Park, which was now on her left as she marched towards Hyde Park Corner. She couldn’t get the memory of this morning out of her head, but she had to. Richard and the kids would be waiting at home and they deserved more!

  * * *

  Katy sat on her meditation stool, staring at the moon that shone through the window, and wondering if Tony was looking at it too. Letting her eyelids close, she could picture his exquisite blue eyes, feel his stubble against her cheek, almost smell his cologne. Lost in her thoughts, time went by unnoticed. Breath, Hara. Focus on the breath in the nostrils. Feel the hara move with the breath. An hour later, still daydreaming, she almost fell off the low wooden seat. It was gone midnight. A large scotch, two herbal sleep tablets and a melatonin would surely knock her out for the night?

  Chapter 28

  Tuesday 12th May, 2009

  The paperwork was mounting up, and she ought to buy groceries, but Katy’s priorities were changing. Tilly’s room looked like the local mafia had raided it, and the laundry bin was almost full. Normally she’d be on top of it, but nothing was normal anymore. Sitting in the office, she pulled out the relevant client files for her afternoon and evening sessions. Another new patient at 6 pm, she noticed: A woman in her mid-forties who wanted to talk about her marriage. Katy didn’t offer relationship counselling. It wasn’t her field, and besides, she hadn’t cracked it herself, so how could she advise others? This particular woman was the sister of a client. Not wanting to let anyone down, she’d agreed to take the lady on, but only to delve into her personal perspective, and not to advise on the marriage nor see the spouse.

  Checking her emails for Dinah’s reply, she was disappointed to see there was nothing. Tony had written a romantic message. He was excited about their future. So was she but wanted some assurance. Why hadn’t Dinah responded? At least she’d be able to talk it through with her friends over lunch.

  * * *

  It was a sunny afternoon, and the five of them sat at a table on the terrace, overlooking the park. The waiter took their order, and after the usual pleasantries, it was Fran who asked, “So what’s the big occasion?”

  “A lot’s happening, and I need to run it by you.”

  “All of us?” said Fran, polishing her fork with her serviette.

  “You’re my trusted confidantes, and I value your opinion!”

  “Shoot!” said Ben, plucking a bread roll from the basket.

  “Well...” Katy was searching for the right words.

  “It’s not about Tony, is it?” Shanti’s laugh tinkled.

  “Mmm.” She nodded.

  “I thought you were going to knock it on the head?” Tara was staring at her.

  “I was, but—”

  “I’m sorry, but it’s adultery,” she said, pushing her plate away. “I haven’t come all this way to talk about your smutty affair. I don’t agree with it.” Her lips were pursed. “How could you include me and Ben in this, when you know what my feelings are?” Her jaw was set as she placed her palms on the table and stood up.

  “Hang on a minute, Love!” said Ben, taking her hand and squeezing it. “Sit down. Let’s hear her out, eh?” He smiled as his wife complied. “Katy’s invited us for a reason. She wants us here. We’re her friends!”

  Tara smiled weakly and fiddled with her napkin.

  The waiter arrived with their order, and Katy paused until he was out of earshot. “I’m not having an affair. There’s been a whole series of events which I don’t quite understand, and I think I’m supposed to be with Tony!”

  “What sort of events?” said Fran, tucking into her plate of pasta.

  “Signs. Coincidences. I don’t know when or how it started, but there’s definitely something strange going on.”

  “I knew it!” said Shanti. “You’re being guided.”

  “Maybe I am! I was guided to change my name to Fralinski, then book the Aura-Soma session, and go on the SRT training! I’ve been clearing chakras, stuff from childhood, things from soul level!” She stabbed at
a prawn with her fork. “It’s been crazy! And in the midst of it all, Tony pops up, out of the blue!”

  “Probably because you changed your name!” said Ben, pointing his fork at her.

  “I know, but there’s more!” Katy pushed her salad around the plate.

  “Like what?”

  “His name is Verde, for a start, and he contacted me when I was wearing green, and healing the heart chakra. He was my first, and I replied the evening after I’d cleared ‘sex and sexual relationships’ on the SRT course.”

  “I’m not convinced.”

  “Tony’s middle name is Richard, and Richard’s middle name is Anthony! Don’t you think that’s weird?”

  “I didn’t know that!” It was the first thing Tara had said since threatening to leave.

  As they ate, Katy filled them in on the red dress, the pigeons, Freddie going to the doctor on his own, and the playlist in the pub. “And then there’s the numbers,” she said.

  “What numbers?” said Fran.

  “The numerology. I haven’t worked it out yet, but there’s always a three or a six involved. Three things in a row, like text messages or emails, three or six kisses. We met up six months after he first contacted me, and we first went out in 1977, which was a six year.”

  “Anything else?”

  “May 8th, when everything changed, was a six day. I first saw him again on March 27th. Nine for the day and three for the month, so maybe nine’s involved too.”

  “Hmm.”

  “And I’ve been setting the intention of having a loving, passionate relationship with my husband.”

  “What’s wrong with that?” said Ben, putting his arm around Tara and giving her a smile.

  “Nothing, but I said husband. I didn’t specify Richard.”

  “You could be creating it with someone else. Someone who’s like a husband,” Shanti said, topping up her water glass.

  Katy nodded. “And there’s something else! My eczema’s miraculously cleared up!”