by Ava Stone
Her eyes flew to his face, but he was sleeping. Thank heavens! She sighed against his bare chest. If he were awake, she’d have to demand that he unhand her, but as he was not, she could safely enjoy his touch. His warm hands on her skin were so comforting. Oh, how she hoped that he never learned that. He already wielded too much power over her as it was.
A week ago, he was the very last man in England she would have felt comfortable with. Though she hated to admit it, he was growing on her as well. That made him much too dangerous. Better than anyone, she knew who he really was. Trusting him was not an option.
If she went through with this plan to give him an heir, she knew she would have to give him her body. But under no circumstance could she ever give him her heart. That was simply out of the question. Trusting anyone with her heart was a dangerous prospect, but trusting Robert would just be foolish.
But still, feeling his strong masculine body pressed against hers was heavenly. He smelled wonderfully of sandalwood and she closed her eyes to breathe him in. Without thinking, she kissed his chest and then whispered aloud, “Oh, Robert, you are very dangerous for me.”
His embrace seemed to tighten and she let him hold her. For some reason, she felt so safe with him like this. It was a feeling she had yearned for and she easily fell back asleep.
~ 9 ~
“Lydia!” Robert’s voice sounded annoyed.
“What?” she groaned.
“Do you ever get up in the morning?”
She rubbed her eyes and squinted. Light was pouring in through the window and she held her hands over her face. “I’m sleeping, go away.”
He laughed. “Yes, you’ve been saying that. Come on, my dear, we only have half a day’s ride left.”
Half a day? Then why was it necessary to get up now? Blast him, he had no respect for her need of sleep! She rolled away from him, burrowed her face into a pillow, and tried to block him out of her consciousness.
She felt his lips on her ear and his hands on her waist. “Do you remember how I woke you yesterday?”
She nodded her head and talked into the pillow, unsure if he could hear her. “You threatened to climb into bed with me. As I spent last night with you, I don’t think that will work today.” Then she tried to push him away, but to no avail.
His whispering in her ear continued. “Do I have to remind you, my beautiful wife, that I only promised you’d be safe from me for the night? It’s now morning, Lydia. All bets are off.”
She smiled into the pillow, glad he couldn’t see her reaction to that threat. But she knew, even as groggy as she was, that she needed to feign resistance. She pushed up on her arms and turned to face him. “You are a pest, Masten.”
He wore a charming grin. “That I am. And here I’d hoped you’d force my hand, my dear. I’ll have to spend the day thinking up ribald remarks to wake you with tomorrow morning.”
“I’m going to ignore that comment.” She sat up and rubbed her eyes again, then looked down at her naked legs. Self-consciously, she clutched the sheets and pulled them tight around herself. “Do you think you could give me some privacy?”
He chuckled and then kissed her forehead. “You are the last woman I would think modest, Lydia.”
She glared at him. “Have I mentioned yet this morning that I hate you, Robert?”
He laughed again and then started for the door. “No, my dear, but I wouldn’t believe you anyway.”
Then he shut the door behind him and Lydia sank back onto the bed. No, she wouldn’t believe herself either. Try as she might, she couldn’t force herself to hate him. She could still remember the safety of his arms. “You are a fool, Lydia!” she remarked aloud.
She quickly threw on the dress she had worn the previous day. Then she ran a brush through her hair before tying it in a knot at the base of her neck.
“Lydia!” she heard him call her from below stairs.
She hurried to the door, but stopped to glance at herself in the mirror. “He’ll only hurt you,” her reflection warned. Funny, it made more of an impact when she saw herself say it. She nodded determinedly and started down the stairs.
Robert was waiting for her at the front door. The way he looked at her with that crooked, roguish grin of his made her inhale deeply. She immediately forgot all about the warning the mirror had given her and made her way to his side. He slipped his arm around her waist. “Are you ready to see Beckford Hall, my dear?”
She met his gaze and nodded enthusiastically, finally warming to the idea of visiting his homes. They said their goodbyes to Mrs. Thompson and thanked her profusely for her kind hospitality. Then they made their way back down the path to The Fox and The Hare, where the innkeeper had prepared a knapsack with apples and currants for the ride, in addition to the basket Robert had ordered. Lydia rewarded the old man with peck on the cheek for his troubles. “Thank you for everything, sir. I don’t know what we’d have done without you.”
Mr. Cass blushed brightly and then sent them on their way.
The Fox and The Hare was barely out of sight before Robert remarked, “Told you he was smitten with you.”
Lydia rolled her eyes at the suggestion. “You have an overactive imagination, Masten.”
“Do I?” He grinned and propped his feet across her legs, and she strangely enjoyed his display of ownership over her lap. “No one else this morning got apples and currants from the old cantankerous innkeep, you know.”
“He was only cantankerous with you. You bring it out in even the nicest people.”
His eyes twinkled as he watched her. “Then you’ll have to stay with me from now on, as you seem to put everyone at ease.”
“Stay with you?” She almost laughed. “Robert Beckford, I know very well that you’re removing me from London to keep me from tarnishing your pristine name. Once you have me securely situated in the prison of my choosing and awaiting the birth of your child, you’ll leave and only think of me when necessary.”
***
What could he possibly say to that? She was right, of course. That had been his intent in the beginning, but as he heard her say those words, his heart ached from the truth of them. “Lydia, this won’t be like last time,” he tried to reassure her.
She seemed to have a hopeful look in her eye, but it was quickly gone. Take it slowly, Robert, he warned himself. All morning long, he’d thought of the words he heard her whisper the night before, when she thought he was sleeping.
How exactly was he dangerous to her? He’d pondered that half the night as he’d lain awake, just holding her in his arms. Perhaps she meant physically. But he rejected that thought almost immediately. She knew he wanted her. He hadn’t made a secret of it, but he hadn’t acted on it. Yes, he had placed his hand under her chemise, but she didn’t seem to mind. She hadn’t wriggled free from his grasp. Instead she had leaned against him and kissed his chest. No, he didn’t believe that she considered him physically dangerous.
Could she possibly have wanted him as badly as he wanted her? Was she afraid to act on those wants because of all the awful things he’d said to her in the past? He cringed as those memories flooded his mind. Caroline was right, he had been a beast.
Or was Lydia afraid of him emotionally? That made some sense. When he’d sat in Carteret’s drawing room and decided to embark on this little adventure, the last thing he’d considered was that he’d actually want his wife—that it was even possible that he could develop feelings for her—and yet he had. If she was experiencing similar feelings for him, she might definitely have conflicting emotions. How could she ever trust him after their history, brief though it was?
It was easy for him to look past the last five years. His life hadn’t changed all that much. He’d built up his stables, ran the Masten estates and holdings, and gone about life as usual. So, he had a wife in Cheshire? She had been absent in his life and she rarely, if ever, crossed his mind.
But life for Lydia had been turned upside down. She lost the safety of her aunt’s protection and love. She
was kept away from anyone that could offer support or guidance. She had been completely alone, and he had single-handedly seen to it. Robert had to admit that she would be a fool, no matter how strong the spark between them, to trust him. He’d have to prove to her that he was worthy of that trust.
One step at a time.
“I don’t think you’ll like Beckford Hall,” he remarked soundly as he removed his feet from her lap. Robert leaned across the carriage and took Lydia’s hands in his. “We can still go if you like, but there’s someplace else I’d rather take you.”
“Where?” She stared at him with a concerned look.
“Gosling Park, in Dorset”
“Dorset?” Lydia’s clear eyes grew wide with confusion. “But that’s where you live. Where your stables are.”
Robert nodded, warming to the idea. “It’s about two days from where we are, but it’s the only place I can truly see you, Lydia.” Indeed, he could see her there, with the ocean breeze whipping about her hair and skirts. They could ride horseback across the coast. He could make love to her while listening to the sounds of the sea from their bedroom windows.
When Lydia smiled in surprise to his offer, Robert’s heart raced. She should always smile. He should dedicate his life to constantly seeing the delicate upturn of her very kissable lips. “That’s where I grew up, and where I’d like to see my—our—children reared. But if you don’t like it there, you can return to London, with or without me.”
“You’d let me stay in London?” she asked, appearing stunned by his suggestion.
Why had he been so cruel to her in the past? he wondered with a degree of guilt. “I won’t make you a prisoner, Lydia. Not again. I’m ashamed I did it in the first place.”
Her countenance lifted and his heart leapt right along with it. “But take a look at Gosling Park first, won’t you? If you don’t fall in love with it, I’ll be astounded.”
When she nodded happily, he couldn’t resist touching her anymore. He pulled her across the carriage to his lap. She was breathing hard and staring timidly into his eyes. His wife. God how he wanted her.
Robert glanced at her lips, the ones he’d wanted to kiss for three days. Without any further delay, he lowered his head and kissed her.
Lydia’s lips were so soft beneath his, and she felt heavenly in his arms. She sighed against his mouth and slid her hands up his chest, to finally settle around his neck.
Robert’s body was on fire. His blood coursed through his veins. As Lydia’s fingers danced across the nape of his neck, he groaned from the pleasure it instilled inside him. He felt wild and reckless, like never before. Neither Miss Haddon, nor Cecily Rigsley, nor any of the others ever had affected him like this. He’d never felt so alive, as if he’d waited his whole life just for her. Just for Lydia.
***
For the first time in as long as she could remember, Lydia felt truly safe. Part of her was screaming that she was a fool for falling for him, but the rest of her was helplessly lost in Robert’s strong embrace. How comforting he felt! His arms tightened around her and she mewed from the joy of his strength.
It was hard to believe that this was her husband, the man she had despised for so long. But his touch, though firm, was so gentle and loving. She melted against him. Robert’s tongue crossed her lips and Lydia clung to him. He nipped at the corner of her mouth and then pulled himself away to look at her.
As Robert stared into her eyes, Lydia thought she’d sink into the golden brown abyss of his. There was nothing he could ask that she wouldn’t do. But it was this exact feeling for Luke Beckford that landed her in this situation in the first place.
If she’d follow any man who kissed her like that, then all the things Robert had ever thought about her were true. She forced those thoughts from her mind and rested her head against his shoulder. He was her husband after all. Why shouldn’t she enjoy this? Happily, she heaved a giant sigh.
Robert leaned his forehead onto hers. “Amazing,” he muttered reverently.
Lydia giggled and then blushed. “Stop, Robert. You’re embarrassing me.” She felt a deep need inside her to have him, but she tried to force that need away. It wasn’t possible for her to fall for him that easily was it? It was just one little kiss, after all.
Grinning widely, he tapped her chin. “Then I hope to embarrass you over and over again, Lady Masten.”
She chewed her bottom lip as she met his eyes and searched for a change in topic. “So, Gosling Park?”
Robert nodded exuberantly. “Yes, though we’re headed the wrong way.” He gently slid her from his lap and rapped on the roof of the coach with his cane. Then opened a window and called to the coachman, “Henderson.”
“Yes, Lord Masten?” The coachman replied.
“Change of plans, Henderson. Gosling Park instead, please.”
“Of course, my lord.”
Robert closed the window and refocused on Lydia with desire-filled eyes. Her cheeks began to burn as the coach turned around and headed back toward The Fox and The Hare.
“Now where were we?” he asked and settled Lydia back into his embrace.
“Gosling Park,” she reminded him.
“Ah, yes.” He rested his chin on her head and ran his fingers along her arms. And though she couldn’t see his eyes, she knew they twinkled by the sound in his voice. “Wait ‘til you see it, Lydia. You can see the ocean from my—our—bedchamber. Mama had the most amazing gardens in Dorset. The north lawn is like a soft carpet of green. I remember playing there myself as a child. Our sons will have a grand time there. I’ll teach them to ride, and their legacy will be—”
“Our sons?” She sat up to look into his eyes, her heart pounding wildly. “Will we not have daughters?”
“Later, Lydia.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “First we need sons.”
Gleefully, she smiled up at him. “I don’t think I have any control over that, Robert, but I’ll pray for a boy.”
“You will do it then? You’ll give me my heir?” He stared at her in awe as she leaned against his shoulder again and nodded her consent.
“At this moment, Robert, I don’t think there’s anything I’d refuse you.” As soon as those words left her mouth, she wished they hadn’t. It sounded too much like the harlot he suspected her to be and she cringed. She was relieved when he simply kissed her cheek in response.
“You’ll never regret this, Lydia. I promise you.”
They spent the next little while discussing names. Robert liked Bartholomew, as it was his father’s, but Lydia found it not at all pleasing. What a big name to force upon such a tiny child. And she was strongly opposed to Gordon, her father’s name. “Honestly, Robert, I wouldn’t plague a stray dog with his name, but we don’t need to agree on something today. We will have plenty of time to come up with just the perfect thing.”
“All right.” He smiled in agreement as he stroked her arm. “Tell me about Lord Carteret then. He was a complete mess when I went to see him—not at all what I expected. It looked like his children had run him ragged, but he smiled like a fool. Is that the way with children?”
Lydia smiled. James was probably the kindest man she knew. “I don’t know if it is that way for everyone, Robert. That may just be the way James is. He’s a very doting father. Though his children are all very different from each other, he loves each one tremendously. You know, you’d think with five children, that they’d share some similarities, but really they don’t.”
Robert smirked. “What are they like?”
Lydia smiled as she thought of them. “Liam is the eldest. He’s ten. And he’s like a little old man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He’s very serious.” She moved so she could see Robert’s face better. “Do you think all oldest brothers are that way? You’ve always seemed very serious to me.”
Robert shrugged. “Perhaps. I suppose we know from a very early age that we’ll take on our father’s title and all that that means.”
She frowned. “He
never has any fun, poor little fellow. Please tell me that you won’t put that sort of pressure on our son.”
“Until what age, Lydia?” He laughed, and gently ran his thumb along her jaw. “It won’t be a secret that our first-born son will someday be the Earl of Masten. That’s why we’re doing this.”
“Yes, of course,” she agreed, but her heart sank as she realized that she was a fool. Perhaps Robert wasn’t the monster she’d always thought him to be, but this whole situation was meant solely to give him a son. No, an heir. That kiss had meant much more to her than to him. She needed to keep that in mind.
Robert needed her to carry his children. There was nothing more to it. Many marriages weren’t based on love or affection, and at least hers wasn’t fueled by hate anymore. They had an understanding now. She could live with the terms Robert offered. They were certainly better than what she’d had before, even if they weren’t exactly what her heart wanted.
“What about the others?” she heard him say and she snapped back to the present.
“The others?”
“Carteret’s children; you were telling me about them.”
“Oh.” She took a deep breath and tried to remember where she’d left off. “Katriona is eight. She’s very prim and proper. Everything with her needs to be just so.” Lydia forced a smile to her face. There was nothing to be gained from Robert knowing what a fool she was. Better he never found out. “And then there are the twins, Morgan and Madeline. They are a pair. They have such a strong bond, but the difference of their sex separates them as well. Morgan tries to emulate Liam, and finds his older brother to be the most exciting thing in the world. He’s forever trying to get his brother to play with him, but as I told you, Liam has very little want for play. And poor little Morgan is left with just his sisters for company.”
