by Ava Stone
“But I want it,” Fiona wailed.
“Well, it’s mine. And it’s not my fault you left yours in Salisbury.” Katriona pulled hard one last time, cradling a doll to her chest. The movement sent Fiona tumbling to the ground with a thud.
“Girls!” James’ bellowing voice boomed over the group. “I have had all of that I can handle for the day. Give your mother the doll and go off, the lot of you.”
Instantly, Katriona thrust the coveted doll in Bethany’s hands and all of the children stared in shock with open mouths at James MacFadyn. Lydia stared too. She’d never seen her cousin lose his temper before.
Robert smiled at the girls. “I believe Cook was baking some pear tortes for tonight. Penelope, sweetheart, why don’t you take the girls to the kitchen and see if you can’t persuade Cook to let you each have a taste?”
Penny frowned at being called Penelope, but she nodded at Robert, ready to escape Lord Carteret. “Yes, Papa.” And with that, the four girls vanished into the castle.
James looked chagrined and his brogue was a bit stronger than usual. “Sorry ‘boot that. They fought the entire time.” He sighed and rubbed his temples with both hands as if he had a pounding headache. “Maddie has to ride with Fiona on the way home. She’s the only one that won’t strangle that little termagant.”
Bethany laughed, despite herself. “They seemed perfectly happy when we set out from Salisbury this morning.”
“I believe that harmonious atmosphere lasted all of five minutes. No more about them, please.” James rubbed his brow and sighed. “It’s been so long since we’ve seen Lydia. Let’s hear how our cousin gets on.”
James offered Lydia his arm, while Bethany took Robert’s, and the two couples made their way inside Gosling Park. James placed a reassuring hand over Lydia’s and smiled. “Sorry I lost my temper. I’m not accustomed to being cooped up with fighting children. When we’re at home, you can just separate them and move on.”
Lydia nodded with understanding. “I’m sure all will be forgotten as they scarf down Cook’s pear tortes. I only hope there’s enough left for dinner.”
James’ eyes grew large. “There had better be, Lydia. I haven’t been allowed dessert since you moved out.”
Surprised by that statement, Lydia looked up at her cousin. James had a sweet tooth a mile long. He would eat cakes or tarts all day long if he could get away with it, though somehow he always managed to look fit and handsome. “You’ve not been allowed dessert?”
James shook his head sullenly. “Bethany has taken it off the menu at home. She was quite put out that I sent you to Masten, and I’m still being punished. Tell me my sacrifice has been worth it, Lyddie. Are you happy?”
Lydia beamed at him. “I’ve never been happier. I was angry with you too, by the way. But I suppose I’m now indebted to you for my happiness.”
With an enigmatic smile, James patted her hand. “I’m the last person you should be indebted to.”
They reached the green salon and Robert motioned for everyone to find a spot in the room. Lydia and Bethany ended up together on the settee, while Robert and James took chairs across from the ladies. Lydia quickly took Bethany’s hand. “Have you really cut James off from dessert?”
Bethany nodded at once. “And he won’t get any more until I’m satisfied that you’re happy.”
James threw back his head and laughed at that. “Heavens, sweetheart, look at her. She’s practically glowing. Have you ever seen Lydia look so well?”
As a blush crept up her cheeks, Lydia looked from Bethany to James. “Funny you should mention glowing. I was going to wait until later, but I’d hate for James to miss any more desserts.” She briefly met her husband’s eyes and then continued, “Robert and I are expectant parents.”
Bethany’s eyes grew to the size of saucers and she clutched Lydia’s hands tightly in hers. “Truly?”
Lydia shyly nodded and smiled at Bethany. “I’ve never been happier.”
“Congratulations, Masten.” James sent a self-satisfied smirk to Robert.
“Robert, please.” Robert tapped his chest lightly. “We are all family, after all.”
“Congratulations, Robert, then.” James clapped his hands together and grinned widely. “Brilliant! I can’t wait to start having dessert again.”
Bethany rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Jamie, you sound just like Morgan.”
With a wink, James replied, “No, darling, he sounds just like me.”
***
The fortnight passed quickly. The seven children rubbed along fairly well, and Lydia was glad to see Liam lose a bit of his overly serious façade. Peter and Penny had never been so happy and that feeling was echoed in both Lydia and Robert. Indeed, the Masten family was safe, secure, and content.
On the last afternoon of the MacFadyn visit, while Bethany offered to share her experiences of four confinements with Lydia, Robert asked James to accompany him on a trip around the estate. He had meant to speak with Lydia’s cousin earlier in the trip, but time had slipped away. This would be his last chance to get some answers for a while.
The two men started off on a path that led to the stables before Robert began his inquisition. “I’m hoping you can give me some information, James.”
“I will if I can.”
“I wanted to do something nice for Lydia.”
James smiled and patted Robert on the back. “I think you’ve already made her very happy, Robert, but what have you got in mind?”
Robert kicked a small stone from his path and shrugged. “She won’t talk about her family. The time that I forced her to do so, she became an emotional wreck, and I ended up feeling like the worst sort of blackguard.”
James nodded in understanding. “Lydia didn’t have an easy childhood. But she’s risen remarkably above all that pain, without being bitter or vengeful. I don’t think I could’ve done it.”
Perhaps she wasn’t bitter or vengeful, but Robert was certain she was still in pain. “I know she’s troubled by her estrangement from her brother. She told me that Lieutenant Warner holds her in disregard.” Robert’s eyes were on the path in front of them, so he missed the deep frown that suddenly appeared on James’ face. “Anyway, I’d like to change that if I could. I left a letter with the Admiralty for the lieutenant asking him to come see us at his earliest convenience. Since he’s your cousin, I’m hoping you can give me some information about my brother-in-law. Lydia won’t speak of him.”
James scoffed, and he asked incredulously, “He holds her in disregard? Is that what she said?”
The tone of James’ voice caught Robert off guard and he stopped walking to face his companion. He now noticed the deep frown etched on Lord Carteret’s face and he furrowed his own brow in response.
James continued solemnly, “And knowing her, she probably believes it too—probably believes it was her fault.”
Robert was completely confused, a state he did not enjoy. “There’s a subtext I’m not following. Please enlighten me.”
James glanced back toward the manor house, and Robert could tell that he was torn, but between what he didn’t know. Then James took a deep breath and eyed Robert with a look of caution. “If anyone should be held in disregard it’s Henry Warner. He’s just like their bastard of a father if you ask me, perhaps even worse.”
“What do you mean?” Robert asked.
“Uncle Gordon was gone most of the time, fortunately. But when he was home, he was cruel, drunk, and tyrannical. I remember once my mother begged Aunt Mabel to come stay with us, but she wouldn’t leave him. It was as if she was afraid to. I’d never seen my mother happy to hear of anyone’s death, but when we got the news that he’d died on board his ship she was relieved. Actually relieved.” He snorted and looked up at the sky. After a minute he finally continued, “I’m the oldest cousin, followed by Henry. He’s a few years older than my sister, Hannah. Hannah always adored Henry, same as Lydia did. It wasn’t until we were adults that I came to see him as the disrep
utable and unconscionable man that he is.”
James again looked back toward the manor house, as if to make sure no one else was around. Then Carteret started walking again, and Robert made sure to keep up. “As you said, you’re family now, Robert, and I’m asking you to keep the rest of this to yourself.”
“Of course.” Robert would have agreed to anything as long as James would keep talking.
“Henry was besotted with Bethany.” He smiled sadly. “Though so was I and many others—your friend Astwick, for example.”
James looked pained, and he said nothing for a few good minutes, as if trying to determine the right words, or whether to speak at all. Then after a deep sigh he continued, “Henry attacked Bethany. This was before we were married. We were all at Briarstrath in Dumfries-shire, celebrating Mama’s birthday. Lydia had just come to live with her a few months earlier. At the time, everyone had expected Bethany and I to announce our betrothal, but instead we’d had an awful argument earlier in the day. So, I’d gone in search of her, to apologize. I don’t even remember what it was about now.”
James looked beyond distressed, as if each word he spoke was painful. But Robert was engrossed in the tale and patiently waited. What exactly had Henry Warner done to Bethany Carteret? Though Robert was afraid to know the answer, at the same time there was nothing in the world that would have drug him away from hearing the end of the story.
“I came upon them, Bethany and Henry. She was struggling against him in a secluded parlor. My heart stopped, literally, when I saw them. I swear to God, I thought I would tear him limb from limb. There on the floor, with her dress torn nearly to shreds and sobbing her heart out was the sweet girl that I’d loved since I was a boy. And atop her was Henry, a monster—my own bloody cousin. He was holding her down against her will.” James managed to get the words out, but it was obvious that memory was still very disturbing and difficult to speak aloud. “I smelled brandy thick on his breath and it permeated the entire room.”
Robert took a deep breath. “Did he…”
“No!” James said hastily. Then more quietly he added, “He’d hit her, but he hadn’t violated her. Not yet, though his intent was obvious. His breeches were down around his ankles. We were fortunate that I happened upon them when I did.”
Robert was sickened by this revelation. If James’ allegations were true, then Lieutenant Warner was the last person who should pass judgment on Lydia. “Does my wife know about this?”
Shamefully, James hung his head, and he couldn’t look Robert in the eye. “No. I didn’t want to publicize Bethany’s encounter. She had done nothing wrong, mind you, except be his victim. But you know as well as I that her reputation would have been in shambles had the incident gotten out. I couldn’t do that to her. So, I thought it was best if we just kept quiet about the whole thing. Neither Beth nor I told another soul, well, except for Mama. And I threatened Henry with his life, made it plain that if he ever so much as looked at her again, I would kill him on the spot. I meant it, and he knew it. Neither of us has seen him since.” James took a long, staggering breath and finally met Robert’s pained gaze.
James was clearly troubled, and Robert knew in the pit of his stomach that his story wasn’t yet over. “I should have dealt with him then, Masten, but I honestly thought it was just Beth he was after. So many others were back then, you realize. And since Henry knew I was protecting her—I swear to you I thought the danger was over.”
“You’re saying it wasn’t?” Robert swallowed and realized his mouth had gone dry.
James’ countenance darkened even more. “After Aunt Mabel died and Mama found Lydia in Spitalfields, they returned to Scotland for a few years. But Lydia had always lived in London and she missed it. Mama wanted to make her happy, so they re-opened the house in Queen Street.”
“She told me it was the happiest time in her life.” Robert studied James’ sullen face.
“Her life wasn’t all that happy up to that point, Robert.” James rubbed his brow roughly. “Now, I wasn’t there, so I can only speculate as to what happened. Mama would never tell me the whole story.”
Robert didn’t like the sound of James’ voice and was worried about what he would hear next, but he nodded his understanding and waited for James to continue.
“Henry was in London, on half-pay at the time. He’d stopped several times at the house, but Mama wouldn’t permit him entrance. She hadn’t ever since the incident with Bethany. Besides, he was nearly always drunk and had his father’s temper. Henry could be erratic, funny and charming one moment, then irate and belligerent the next. Mama didn’t want Lydia subjected to him. The poor girl had been through enough as it was. But Henry was enraged that Mama would keep Lydia from him.” James stopped talking and closed his eyes.
Robert was both afraid that James wouldn’t say any more and terrified that he would. But he had to know. “Go on, Carteret.”
With a curt nod, James turned to face Robert. “Mama could always sleep through anything, Robert, she was just like the dead. But this particular night she was awoken by Lydia’s screams. She was an old woman, Masten, and the only one on Lydia’s floor. It was the dead of night and all the servants were asleep. Mama was frail, and still groggy from sleep, but she made it to Lydia’s room at the same time as a footman, who’d been awakened as well. They found her chamber door had been broken off its hinges. Henry was there, drunk. Apparently, he was holding Lydia beneath him—that’s all I could get out of the footman before Mother shushed him.”
Robert was pale and his heart was racing, as he witnessed the horrific scene in his mind. Words of hope flew from his mouth. “But she’d just screamed. Your mother got there in time. The footman got there in time—just like you did with Bethany.”
James sighed heavily as he unloaded his awful burden onto Robert. “Honestly, Robert, I don’t know. I should say I’m not sure. You see, I know that if Mama had been able to stop him she would have made that fact very clear to me, but she would never say one way or the other and the footman was sent away. Ever since that moment, I’ve been wracked with guilt over not dealing with my cousin when I should have years earlier.”
Robert’s voice was hoarse with disbelief. “Are you telling me that he violated her? His own sister?”
“I don’t have any proof of that, but…”
“But you think he did?”
James met Robert’s darkened eyes and nodded gravely. “Aye. I think he did. And who knows how many others have suffered at that bastard’s hands.”
Thoughts began to flood Robert’s mind. Luke had insisted Lydia wasn’t pure, that he hadn’t ruined her. He was adamant about that fact. Robert felt the world start to spin and he fell to his knees. Luke hadn’t ruined Lydia. Instead, she’d been defiled at the hands of her own brother whom she’d loved and trusted. Robert wasn’t in control of his emotions or his body’s reaction to the horrendous tale. Bile rose up in his throat, and he spit it out.
Lydia’s own brother had stolen her innocence. He had defiled her in the most horrific way. No one could ever make that right. “My God!” he whispered hoarsely. “And she knits him socks.”
“I know,” James replied. “Beth and I are convinced she blames herself, and that’s some sort of penance she’s paying.”
How had Lydia survived the cruel turns life had thrown at her? His kind and compassionate wife had suffered at the hands of her abusive father. Her own brother had stolen her innocence. Luke had used her. And for five years he, himself, had punished her for all of it. Robert didn’t think he’d ever be right again.
James offered Robert his handkerchief and a steady hand, as the world began to spin around him. He had to lean on James to keep from stumbling to the ground. Never in his life had he felt helpless, but there simply wasn’t anything he could do to make this better. As Lydia had said, some things just couldn’t be fixed.
He had to pull himself together. He could never let her know that he knew. They could never discuss this. He would
never make her relive it. So, he had to find a way to come to terms with the events. He had to be strong for his wife, who’d had to be strong for far too long—all alone.
***
“Robert, are you feeling all right?” Lydia asked as she climbed into bed. He hadn’t seemed himself the entire day, and at dinner he’d barely touched Cook’s duck with roasted plum sauce. James had seemed off as well, but Lydia figured that was due to his trepidation about traveling the next day with his unruly brood again.
Wearing only a stockinet, Robert slipped under the bedclothes and forced a smile to his face. “I’m fine.”
He wasn’t fine. She knew that. She knew him.
Lydia inched toward her husband and laid her head on his chest. “Thank you for putting up with my family.” She ran her fingers down his stomach and gently kissed his chest. “Their visit has meant so much to me.”
Robert dropped a kiss on the top of her head and patted her back in a very brotherly manner. “I’m glad you’ve enjoyed their company, sweetheart.” Then he shifted in the bed and rolled on to his side, giving her his back. “Goodnight, Lydia.”
She stared at her husband’s back in surprise. She always slept in his arms. That nagging feeling she’d once sensed after their night together at The Knight’s Arms washed over her. Something was wrong. He’d shut her out, and she had no idea why. “Robert.”
“I need to get to sleep.”
What was wrong with him? What had happened? “Something is wrong, I can tell.”
He didn’t turn to face her, and his shoulders seemed to tense. “Damn it, Lydia! Leave it be, I’m just tired.”
~ 21 ~
The MacFadyns had been gone exactly one day, and still Robert couldn’t get a handle on the horrific tale Carteret had told him. And still he couldn’t touch his wife. He loved her, that hadn’t changed—but he was afraid to hurt her. She apparently had come to terms with what had happened to her, but the feelings were new to him.
