* * *
Gerald strode to the hall, far too aware of the tapping of Ruby’s shoes behind him. He struggled to put Dee’s situation from his mind so he could think clearly. Witnessing Ruby’s kindness to his patient had sent his emotions into a tailspin. Many nurses disengaged emotionally from their patients when they sensed the end approaching. Ruby did the opposite, moving closer, softening her voice, her presence a balm to Dee’s raw nerves. She’s a gift from God. But was she a gift for the patients—or for him?
He continued walking toward the front doors, picking up the pace. Gerald needed the fresh breeze so he could shake the sensation of the hospital walls closing in about him and sucking the oxygen from his lungs. He regretted beckoning Ruby along. He’d wanted to thank her, but now a thousand prickles ran across his skin, like the X-ray set on high. He should have waited until he’d gathered himself.
“Doctor?” Ruby’s voice sounded behind him as his hand settled on the door handle.
He paused, suddenly aware of his own heartbeat. Ruby always called him ‘Doctor’ at the hospital, but in this moment—his emotions like an open wound—he wanted to hear her say his name. Turning, his pulse increased as he gazed at her. Why did she have this effect on him?
Ruby’s brows drew down, as if in question. Tiny wisps of strawberry curls floated around her heart-shaped face. “You wanted to speak to me?”
Gerald swallowed. “Would you like to take some fresh air? We could walk across the street to the park.”
“Now?” Her eyes widened.
What was he thinking? Gerald cleared his throat. “Never mind. Just a thought.”
She touched his arm, sending a surge of electricity jolting up to his shoulder “I’d love to. I just thought you were completing rounds.”
Gerald glanced down at her fingers resting on his gray coat sleeve, each of her smooth fingernails trimmed to the exact same length. “I’m finished for now. I’ll need to speak to Robert when he arrives, but it won’t be for another forty minutes or so.”
A smile hovered around her lips. She unpinned her nurse’s cap. “Let me get my coat. I’ll meet you on the steps.” She hurried away, her feet scurrying across the polished floor.
Gerald leaned against the doorframe, watching her depart. Forty minutes of conversation. He should be able to manage without much difficulty. Gerald opened the door and stepped out into the cool evening. As long as I keep my eyes down.
* * *
Ruby wet her fingers and smoothed the hairs back into place. A few pins should keep her unruly locks under control. Now, if only someone would invent such pins for the heart.
Memories of her Scripture-loving father had bubbled to the surface as Gerald read from the Bible. Ruby closed her eyes. I miss you, Daddy. Her father would have liked the kind-hearted doctor, similar to him in many ways. Perhaps it’s why she found herself so at ease with Gerald. That, and his strong jaw and kind eyes. She placed a palm on her chest, willing her emotions to behave. No need for such nonsense.
She pinned her hat into place and smoothed her skirt. A break from the hospital would cause no harm. She deserved a few moments of fresh air and pleasant conversation. And on the arm of a handsome gentleman? Why not?
Ruby hurried down the hall, spotting Gerald through the glass doors.
He stood relaxed, facing into the setting sun, the low-angled light spilling over his shoulders and emphasizing his stature.
She pushed away the tension wedging between her shoulder blades. A walk. Nothing more.
Gerald turned and grinned, pulling the door open. “So nice of you to join me.” The dark cloud from earlier no longer marred his countenance.
Ruby stepped outside, her heart tripping along like an overexcited child. “I’m pleased you thought to ask me. I’d think you’d be weary of me by now, constantly underfoot.”
He touched the brim of his brown derby. “You bring beauty wherever you go. It’s a pleasant change from your brother.”
“Thank you.” A flush climbed her neck. The man did know how to spin a compliment, but she mustn’t read too much into the polite words. With downcast eyes, she accepted Gerald’s proffered arm.
The sound of carriages and automobiles filled the evening air as they walked down the marble steps. After waiting for several vehicles to pass, Gerald escorted her across the street and into the small, neglected park. An unkempt rose bush straggled over the stone benches, spent pink petals scattering in the breeze.
He chuckled. “Looks like this place could use a little of Abby’s gardening touch. I suppose everyone’s been otherwise occupied since the quake. Nature has been left to her own devices.”
Ruby swept her fingers along the bench, scattering the petals to the wind. “Pruning and weeding must seem frivolous after witnessing the worst the world can offer.”
Gerald’s smile faded. “The city will come back stronger than ever.”
“Some losses cannot be replaced.”
“But new life springs up as well.” He gestured to the patches of wildflowers sprinkled through the flowerbeds. His lips pulled down. “God provides healing for our losses—if we allow Him. ‘Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.’”
She turned away, Gerald’s words ringing in her ears. Was her dead heart reawakening, too? It would explain why the annoying thing refused to obey her commands.
Gerald walked to her side, brushing his elbow against hers. “I appreciate you taking Miss Feinstein under your wing.”
“You make me sound like a mother bird. She’s the protective one. How could I not love her?” Ruby glanced up, drawn to the intensity in Gerald’s eyes. “She speaks of you frequently. I believe she’s quite attached.”
He pulled off the derby. “Yes, I think she entertains notions of . . . well, for us. She’s a romantic. Ever since you arrived last month, it’s all she speaks of.”
“She’s not the only one.” Ruby meandered a few steps along the brick walkway. Her conversation with Abby trailed through her memory. Robert’s fiancée would love nothing better than to see Gerald married off—preferably to Ruby. And Mrs. Larkspur seemed to use every opportunity to push the two of them together. Ridiculous. Of course people talked, but she needed to guard her mind. Her own thoughts were too quick to gallop down the same ruinous path.
* * *
Gerald shoved his hands into his pockets. She must share his feelings—those lingering gazes couldn’t lie. He trailed behind, the desire to hold her in his arms overwhelming his thoughts. “What do you mean, ‘She’s not the only one?’” One more hint of acquiescence, and he’d kiss her. His resolve to stay away weakened with each passing moment.
She cast a glance over her shoulder, a tiny frown pinching around her lips. “Of course not. Can’t you sense it?”
He grasped her elbow, turning her to face him. “Perhaps I do. But I wasn’t certain you felt the same.”
Ruby tipped her head to the side, gazing up with round eyes. “How could I not?”
Gerald exhaled. Finally. Energy surged through his limbs. He locked an arm about Ruby’s waist and drew her close in one fluid motion. Cupping her chin in his palm, he pressed a kiss on those perfect beckoning lips—as he had dreamed of doing for weeks.
She lurched back with a gasp, her hand shoving hard against his chest. “What—what are you doing?” She twisted free from his grasp.
He straightened with a jerk. “I—but, you said—”
“I didn’t mean me!” Color rushed to her cheeks. Ruby lifted splayed fingers to her face, her eyes glimmering with tears. “I meant your mother. And Abby. Everyone who joked at our expense. Did you think—” A strangled cry burst from her mouth. She spun away, rushing down the path.
Gerald dropped to the bench, a shower of rose petals cascading over his coat. He pressed a hand against his face, the touch searing his palm.
* * *
Ruby’s breaths ripped from her lungs in painful gasps. He’d thought she wanted his kiss.
Had she?
A single woman—living in his house, working at his side, practically falling at his feet for the chance of a romantic walk—what excuse did she have? Of course he’d assume her to be in love with him. Everyone must think so. Her cheeks burned as a sob bubbled up from her stomach. She paused in her headlong rush back to the hospital, glaring at the double doors. The first place he’d look.
Ruby swiped a hand across her mouth, remembering the touch of his lips against hers. Her heart fluttered a seditious beat. She spun around, skirt swishing, and strode toward the cable car stop. Hopefully she’d determine a destination before she reached the end of the line.
18
Gerald slunk into his narrow office and shut the door without bothering to switch on the lights. Darkness closed in around him. His throat burned, the image of Ruby’s stunned expression seared into his memory. This blunder bordered on epic proportions. How could he explain his mistake? His stomach churned. What would he say to Robert?
“Yes, I kissed your sister. A terrible misunderstanding—I thought she wished it.”
Gerald groaned. He stumbled through the dark to the desk chair, sinking down into the seat. A sliver of light crept under the door, assuring him the world and all its mistakes remained. Pressing hands across his face, he blocked out the distractions and turned inward. “Lord, what was I thinking?” He sighed, the words rushing between interlaced fingers. It didn’t take divine wisdom to see where his desires had led. Gerald slumped forward, resting his head on his arms.
He’d been content before this woman had arrived and set his life careening down a whole new path. Before he’d spent time listening to Dee spin her tales and basking in the presence of Robert and Abby’s young love. At nearly thirty, he’d considered himself too old for such diversions. Gerald shuddered. Apparently not.
The door rattled, and he jerked upright.
Light poured in from the hall, a familiar figure silhouetted in the doorway. “Gerald?” Robert pressed the light switch.
Gerald squinted, the sudden glare stabbing at his eyes. He braced an arm across his brow and leaned against the chair back, his thoughts scattering to the wind.
“Were you sleeping?” Robert frowned. “I’m only a few minutes late. I thought you’d be in the laboratory.”
Gerald swallowed, his mouth dry as cotton wadding. He shook his head, reaching back through the afternoon to remember why he’d left the lab in the first place. “No. The tube blew again. I figured I’d let you replace it.”
Robert leaned on the doorframe and fiddled with an ink pen in his fingers. “Where’s Ruby?”
Jumping up from the chair, Gerald gathered a stack of files. “I—I saw her earlier. I’m not certain where she is now.” Or how angry she might be. He ran a hand through his hair as a lead weight settled in his gut. “I’ll make a last sweep through the ward before heading home. If I see her, I’ll tell her you’re looking for her.”
Robert grasped his arm before Gerald could exit. “What’s wrong with you? You look like you’ve lost your best friend.”
Swallowing a reply, Gerald shook his head. “I’m weary, nothing more.”
“How’s the hand?”
Gerald brushed past his partner, escaping the office confines. He pressed the files against his chest. “A little stiff. No need to worry.”
Tiny lines formed around his friend’s mouth. “I wish you’d let me take another look. Or someone else. Maybe Dr. Dawson?”
“Another time.” Right now, Gerald needed to find Ruby and explain. Somehow.
* * *
Ruby grasped the brass rail, a tangled knot of emotions wedged under her ribcage making each breath a chore. The cable car glided down the hill toward the bay, the breeze cooling her face. She could escape for a few hours, but eventually she’d need to return to Gerald’s house. Ruby closed her eyes, wishing the line went on forever. If only it led all the way back to Sacramento, she could lock herself in her room with her memories, safe from further embarrassment. And hurt.
Her mind made the return journey, hovering over the images of her mother and sisters, their eyes rich with sympathy. And Miriam—how large her belly must be by now. Ruby swallowed the bitter taste creeping up her throat. No, her future lay here in San Francisco.
She opened her eyes, gazing out at the street. Buildings stood in various states of transformation—some in demolition, others stretching up to form a new skyline. In the pocket around Gerald’s neighborhood, the homes had escaped major devastation, but here in the financial center, workers were busy putting the city back to rights. Like me. Forcing my life back on track.
So why was she running? She had nothing to be ashamed of. Her feelings for Gerald Larkspur were natural, if unwelcomed. She could push them aside, as easily as they had bubbled to the surface. Ruby wrapped her fingers around the railing, the metal cold against her fingers. A few hours walking the waterfront would give her time to lick her wounds. Then she’d return to the house, as if nothing had happened.
Gerald might even be relieved. Certainly he didn’t desire a relationship with her. He probably assumed she pined for him—a poor miserable widow seeking love and devotion. A simple mistake, easily rectified.
The brakeman slowed the vehicle as it bumped down the hill, creaking to a stop in front of the Ferry Building. Ruby followed the other riders as they stepped onto the freshly laid cobblestones. She paused, gazing up at the depot clock tower encased in scaffolding. If this city could put itself back together, so could she.
19
Ruby ran a hand across her forehead, pausing to pinch the bridge of her nose. A throbbing ache settled behind her eyes, the weight of the day pushing down on her shoulders. Lights shone from the windows of each of the narrow, elegant homes lining the road, as if beckoning weary travelers.
She reached Gerald’s house and opened the gate, gazing up at the beautiful structure. What would it be like to own such a lovely home, nestled between other distinguished residences? The warmth spilling out the bay windows spoke of family, love, and belonging. Ruby sighed, a lump growing in her throat. In two months Robert and Abby would wed. Children would follow. Ruby would be doomed forever to the role of widowed aunt. No amount of serving mankind could replace the dream of raising her own brood.
Her shoes remained stationary, as if glued to the front walk. The new electric streetlights were coming on in the distance, warning Ruby of the impending darkness. She lifted her fingers to her lips, remembering Gerald’s kiss. Sweat broke out along her skin. How could she face him?
She turned to stare at the distant orange streaks of sunset. The door creaked open behind her. Ruby stiffened, waiting.
“I was getting worried.” Gerald’s voice sounded. “I thought perhaps you’d made a beeline for the ferry.”
Ruby gripped the cement column for strength. “It crossed my mind.”
Gerald came up beside her, settling his hands on the top of the gate and facing the quiet street. “I’m glad you didn’t.” He lowered his head. “I owe you an apology.”
Ruby dropped her shoulders, releasing the tension trapped in her chest. “You don’t. It was a misunderstanding.”
“No, I acted irresponsibly. I don’t want you to feel ill at ease—either here or at work.” He scraped a hand across his chin. “I wish I could go back a few hours and fix everything.”
Her heart skipped as he admitted to regretting the kiss. “Just so you know, I didn’t come to San Francisco in search of romance. I’m content to serve. I’m not pining away for a man.”
Lines formed around his mouth. “I never thought such a thing.” He released the gate, his hand moving toward her arm for a moment before he drew it away and hooked his fingers over the top edge of his vest. “I—I just thought . . .” He looked up to the horizon, the sunset’s glow emphasizing the firm line of his jaw.
Thought what? She studied Gerald’s furrowed brow, a prickle racing up her arms. The man’s lips turned downward, like the boy with the dislo
cated elbow. It didn’t take nursing training to recognize his pain. But it’s not as if she’d spurned him. The handsome doctor could have his pick of eligible women in San Francisco. He’d be fortunate not to be saddled with one like her. Ruby sighed. “Let’s not speak of it anymore. We’ve spent quite a bit of time together. A few misplaced feelings would be . . .” She searched his face. “It would be expected, I imagine.”
His eyes narrowed. “If you feel it’s for the best, I won’t speak of it again.”
She forced a smile. “Did your mother save any pie? I’m starving.”
A corner of his mouth lifted. “Of course. Though Davy nearly talked her out of it.”
“I suppose I might share a bite or two.” Ruby hid a yawn and limped toward the steps, more than ready to put the day behind her. She paused in the doorway, glancing back toward the front walk.
Gerald turned back toward the sunset, his silhouette dark against the bright sky.
She swallowed hard, her heart’s yearning producing a hollow pain in her chest.
* * *
Gerald ran a finger along the fine cracks in the painted cement of the gatepost. Today’s blunder had sent fissures through him as well. Had his apology helped at all? Or had it simply made him appear more foolish?
Streaks of red darkened the western sky, deepening to purple and blue above. The stench of smoke and dust still clung to the city, noticeable in the dank evening air. He squeezed his eyes closed. Lord, am I striving after things you don’t intend for me? He glanced over his shoulder at the front window of his home, the warm glow of family beckoning him. Family—and more. His heart quickened. Please take away these desires, Father. How can I have a beautiful woman under my roof and keep my thoughts pure?
* * *
The springs squeaked as Ruby settled on the edge of the bed. She pulled off her gloves and laid them in her lap, fighting the urge to throw herself prone on the mattress.
Abby sat on the desk chair, book in hand. “Robert told me about Dee Feinstein. I’m sorry she’s not improving.”
Beyond the Ashes Page 13
