by Mary Leo
Sweet Sally shook her head. “It’s not true, hon. None of it. Your mom purposely wanted everybody to think that, and for better or worse, I helped her spread that lie.”
RuthieAnn twirled a thick strand of her hair between her fingers, then asked, “Now why on earth would she want to do that? Did she suddenly get religion?”
“I guess you could say that she did. Yep. After all them years, your mom finally saw the light.”
“Okay, you’ve piqued my interest. What was this light she saw?”
All of this was news to Chase. He’d only heard the rumors that Evelyn had drank more than normal that night, and because she was so wasted, tripped, fell and probably just stayed right where she landed and went to sleep. But apparently Sweet Sally had another story to tell . . . the real story . . . the story that, for whatever reason, Sweet Sally had kept to herself for all these years.
“She was upset over some event at school that she’d messed up for Kevin because she’d been too high when she attended. Apparently, Kevin had won some kind of award, and she’d embarrassed him. He told her so, and she couldn’t get past it. She knew he was right, so she did something about it. She made an appointment with a doctor here in town to help her get off the drugs, and from what she told me, she’d already cut her intake in half when she came into the bar that night. She’d also stopped drinking and was attending AA meetings in Flagstaff. We didn’t have none here in Wild Creek then. We got ‘em now, but when she really needed them, well, I guess our community didn’t think they were necessary.
“Machala was busy nursing a bad cold, so I worked the bar that night. Your mom told me she didn’t want anyone to know about her sobriety yet, just in case it didn’t work out. She especially didn’t want your dad to know. She thought he’d make fun of her and her resolve was already on thin ice, at least that’s what she said. So I served her shots of tea instead of whiskey. Used an empty bottle of her favorite, Jim Beam, that I filled in back with the tea so nobody would know. Your mom was stone sober when she walked out of the place that night. That’s why I let her go. Normally, I would’ve called for a ride for her, but she didn’t need one.”
“And you’re sure of this? She didn’t sneak any booze or maybe have someone else serve her?”
“I’m dead certain, hon. Wasn’t no one else working but me, and your mom never left that barstool ‘cept once or twice to use the facilities. Anyway, come around two in the morning, I closed up and Machala pulled herself out of her sick bed to pick me up. I saw your mom’s truck when I left, but figured she went home with somebody after all. It wasn’t uncommon for her to leave her truck parked out front. Even though I thought it was odd after the conversations we’d had, I didn’t pay no real mind to it. Of course, I kicked myself for a long time afterwards for not checking it out or calling her phone. Thing is, after years of one behavior, even I didn’t know if she could really change, ya know? It wasn’t until the next morning when I found her, frozen, that I realized the poor thing had been there all night long. It still haunts me . . . why I didn’t check out her truck.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Sweet Sally,” RuthieAnn said, tenderly reaching out to touch Sweet Sally’s hand. “My mom’s reputation was pretty solid by then.”
Sweet Sally’s eyes watered, and her voice hitched. “I know, but I might have been able to save her if I’d gotten to her in time.”
Chase rubbed Sweet Sally’s shoulder, trying to comfort her. “Let it go. It’s over now. You did what you could that night. You kept her secret. I’m sure she loved you for that.”
Sweet Sally nodded, as RuthieAnn handed her a tissue that she’d pulled from her purse. Sweet Sally wiped her tears and blew her nose.
“Did my dad know about any of this? About her addiction? About what really happened that night?”
“He should. I told him, but your daddy probably just drowned it out with booze and forgot all about it. He got worse after she died. No matter what, your mom was the love of his life. Always had been. Before her accident, the two of them were like two peas in a pod. Couldn’t seem to get enough of each other, nor could they get enough of you. Their little girl meant the world to them, and then when Kevin came along, they couldn’t be more proud. Shame what happened to them. I blame them doctors. Clark blamed them, too. Always hated doctors. Prob’ly why he waited so long to see one when he got sick. I kept trying to get him to go in, but he wouldn’t have no part of it. Finally, when he couldn’t breathe one night, Machala drove him over to the ER. They took him right in and he never left . . . well, until he passed. He was an ornery old sod, but I couldn’t help liking him. ‘Specially after what he did for Chase, here. Had to give him credit for that much. Helped save his life, him and your brother, Kevin. God must have been sitting on his shoulder that morning saying it’s not your time, son.”
She slipped her arm around Chase, then rubbed his back, allowing her affection for him to shine through.
“I believe he was doing just that,” Chase said, mentally agreeing with everything she was saying, but he could tell RuthieAnn was having a problem with it. She seemed to squirm in her seat as she drank down most of her soda water, never coming up for air.
“Them lousy doctors were pushing them drugs back when your mamma first hurt herself, especially in the mid to late nineties. I’m pretty sure that Oxytocin was the drug they put her on and it was the same drug she couldn’t seem to kick. Now, everybody’s changed their minds on that damn drug. Not that it don’t do a lot of good for a lot of people, in moderation. But that’s not how it was treated back then. They gave it away like Halloween candy to everybody who had even an ingrown toenail. Now these same doctors are telling us opioid drugs are bad. Are addictive. Are killing more people than in some wars we fought. Ya think? I read a report that said it’s over one hundred people a day who overdose. Why the hell did it take these doctors so long to come to this conclusion? How many people had to die before they decided it might not be a good idea to push drugs on people? It’s a waste of lives, I tell ya. A terrible waste.”
“Mom, are you causing trouble over there?” Machala yelled as she marched toward the table.
RuthieAnn tore her gaze over to Machala. “Not at all. She’s actually cleared up a lot of things for me. But now I think I should go.”
“Don’t go, sweetie. Let me buy you two dinner,” Sweet Sally offered. “Got some great looking steaks in the kitchen. Can serve them up with all the fixins in no time. Got us a great new chef. Comes from some fancy restaurant in Santa Fe. Lookin’ to open her own place here in Wild Creek, but ‘till she does, we gave her free rein. So far, it’s been like nothing else. Had to open the dance hall in the back and rent tables and chairs in order to accommodate all the folks who want to dine on her food. She only cooks on Friday and Saturday nights, but when she does, sometimes the wait is over an hour. Go figure.”
“That sounds great, Sweet Sally, but I’m just not hungry. Besides, I have to pick up my boy and buy him something to wear for the memorial. It’s coming up fast.”
“I think it might be too late for that, dearie. It’s going on seven-thirty.”
Chase could tell RuthieAnn was barely holding it together.
“Let me drive you back to Pearl’s. I’m assuming that’s where Jayden is,” Chase offered. “I don’t think you should leave like this.”
“I’m fine. Really. Just tired. I want to pick up my son and go to bed,” she said, and slid out of the booth and walked out the front door.
Chase was having none of it and went after her.
RAIN CAME DOWN in spurts and fits as if the clouds were trying their best to hold onto the moisture. RuthieAnn did her best to ignore the biting cold that attacked her shivering body as she made her way in the dark to her car parked up the street in front of the hardware store where she’d left it.
She pulled out her phone and called Pearl.
“Hey girl,” Pearl said. “Where are you?”
“On my way to your place. I jus
t left Sweet Sally and Chase. Oh Pearl, I have so much to tell you, but I can’t do it tonight. I’m overwhelmed.”
“First, you should know that Jayden is fast asleep in Sandra’s room, curled up on her trundle bed with half of her stuffed animals. He’s set for the night. So don’t worry about him. I’ll bring him over to the inn in the morning. But for now, I don’t think you should move him. They played hard today, all four kids, and they all went down early. Tyler is already on his way home and we just want to curl up by the fire with a glass of wine and relax. We both had long days. So whatever it is you want to tell me, I can wait until the morning . . . unless you need to talk now.”
RuthieAnn decided she didn’t want to burden her friend with the details, not after she’d been so kind by watching Jayden for most of the day.
“No. It can wait.”
“Tell me that Chase is you. He’s been calling and trying to catch up with you for a while now.”
“We met, and I just left him at Around The Bend with Sweet Sally.”
“I’d feel better if he were with you. Tomorrow’s Friday. The closer this memorial gets the more worried I get about you.”
“Kevin will be with me, so I’ll be okay.”
“When does he get in?”
“Tomorrow night, but I probably won’t see him until the morning. He’s flying in after school, then he has to pick up his rental and drive in. He won’t get here until late.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk?”
RuthieAnn gave it a second thought until she heard Tyler in the background just coming in the door. “No. I’m good.”
“Okay, sweetie. My folks are going to watch the kids for most of the day tomorrow and Saturday during the service, so no worries about Jayden. Whatever you want to do, will be fine. After the service on Saturday, my parents and the kids will join us for the luncheon. Is that good?”
RuthieAnn didn’t know what she would do without Pearl and her family, but this seemed over the top. Jayden could be a real challenge. “We can talk more about this in the morning. That’s asking a lot of your folks.”
“Don’t be silly. They offered and I knew you would appreciate it. You take all the time you need, sweetie.”
“Thank you so much, and please thank your parents. I’ll see you sometime tomorrow, then. Thanks again, Pearl. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Same here. Now get some sleep. Everything’s going to be fine. You’ll see.”
“I know,” RuthieAnn said, but she knew everything wouldn’t be fine. Her life was bound and determined to get worse. She’d made such a mess of things, had made so many misguided assumptions, done so many stupid things that making things right couldn’t possibly be in the cards for her.
She disconnected, slipped her phone in her back pocket and kept walking . . . at least until she ran into Chase, who somehow had gotten in front of her.
“I can’t let you go like this,” he said, standing in the rain, his light gray cowboy hat pushed down on his forehead, trying to keep the rain off his incredibly handsome face, those whiskey-colored eyes of his burning into her.
“I’m fine,” she said, outright lying. “I just want to go back to my room and sleep. I’m freezing.”
“Let me come with you.”
“I can’t. We can’t.”
He stepped in closer, and she could smell his muscled body: musk and oak. She yearned to be in his arms, to kiss him, to make love to him.
“You can and we can. Just for tonight. I don’t know what’s ahead for us. I don’t know what’s ahead for me, and I don’t give a damn. All I know is I want you in my bed. Tonight. All night. I want to make love to you. Right now. I don’t care what happened in the past or what’s going to happen in the future. All we have is this moment, and if we don’t take it, use it to comfort each other, it won’t ever come again. I need you and I think you need me. Don’t walk away this time. Don’t leave me again.”
His words stabbed her heart when she realized that he must have somehow figured it out, that she’d left him on the side of the road. Her knees buckled as the rain finally came down with a vengeance.
He grabbed hold of her waist when she stumbled.
She didn’t step away when his lips were only a breath away from hers.
They stood there, each considering the other’s next step.
She wanted to know if he’d truly finally put it all together. If he’d finally remembered those horrible moments that morning—when she left him—in the rain.
But she couldn’t bring herself to ask. Couldn’t say the words. Her shame was too intense.
Instead, just for tonight, before they both admitted the truth out loud, she wanted to lie with him one more time.
“I won’t,” she whispered, and when he covered her lips with his, she held him close and gave him all she had. Then, as the rain pummeled them with an intense fury that only enhanced her desire for him, she took his hand and willingly followed him to his truck.
Eleven
All of RuthieAnn’s guilt faded away once they walked into his house and Chase kissed her again. All her doubts, all her apprehensions and all her long-held beliefs about her mom simply vanished in the magic of his warm and urgent kiss. It was as if nothing else in the world mattered but his lips on hers, his tongue pushing against her tongue, his naked body meshing against hers. The ultimate sensation when he pushed deep inside her, filling her with every passion and desire he had to give.
They’d barely made it to his bedroom the first time, flinging off shoes and boots near the front door, stripping off most of their clothes in the living room, everything else coming off in the hallway, taking the time for him to roll a condom into place then falling on the bed in a frenzy of arms and legs frantically encircling each other’s bodies until their intense release calmed them.
But that calm didn’t last long.
The second time just seemed to happen up against the kitchen counter while they searched for something to eat in his fridge, but the third time, RuthieAnn had insisted they slow it down, take their time, enjoy each other.
It had begun with RuthieAnn giving Chase a massage on his chest and shoulders, which he admitted had been giving him trouble lately.
“It’s almost as if I lose a little more strength in my arm every day,” he told her as she pressed her fingers in a circular motion on his upper chest, right under his collarbone. Chase rested on his back, his head at the foot of the bed. The bed only had a headboard, so this worked out perfectly for RuthieAnn.
“You should probably go in for an MRI and maybe an x-ray to make sure you aren’t doing damage to the rotator cuff,” she told him as she made little swirls down the sides of his neck towards his shoulders, careful not to apply too much pressure.
“Too late. Already have damage to my rotator cuff. Happened in the accident, but damn if it’s not suddenly getting worse.”
“You may have to put that arm in a sling for awhile or at the very least stop doing any heavy lifting.”
“Like picking you up and putting you in my bed?” he teased.
“Exactly. And lifting bales of hay, or doing anything that requires any overhead lifting. I can send you a list of exercises you could do to strengthen your shoulder, but I’m not going to do that until you have at least an MRI. Promise me you’ll make an appointment with your doctor. This will only get worse, Chase, if you don’t take care of it now.”
“Hmm, that feels good,” he said as she massaged the muscles right above his collarbone.
“Promise,” she insisted, using a much more authoritarian voice.
“Anything,” he said. “Your fingers are amazing. I feel better already.”
“This isn’t nearly enough and maybe it’s too much. I can’t do anything major without the results of an x-ray or an MRI.”
She stopped the massage.
“Okay. I promise to make an appointment.”
She started up again, but this information was killing Rut
hieAnn, and she tried her best to continue to massage his chest, neck and shoulders as if he were simply another patient. Unfortunately, number one, she couldn’t get past the fact that she had contributed to his ongoing misery, and number two, they were both naked.
Okay, granted he’d thrown a sheet over his mid-section, and she’d slipped on his shirt, but still.
Despite those two factors, Chase seemed to respond favorably to her massage.
“Hmm, that really feels good,” he said, as she slid her palms across his shoulder, then down his forearm, but he wasn’t much into her desire to inspect some of the nastier scars on his body. It seemed to make him very uncomfortable when she ran her fingers along the scar on his shoulder or down his side or along his arm.
“Let’s not do this anymore,” he whispered when she crawled up on the bed and gently began kissing the length of the scar that ran down the front of his thigh. “Some of these scars are too ugly for any attention. I’d much rather focus on everything that’s beautiful about your body, and about you.”
It was well past midnight now, but they were both still wide-awake, pillows scattered around them as they now lay side by side.
He slid his leg up away from her touch, obviously ashamed of what she saw. His leg had shrunk in size and parts of his thigh had collapsed into itself, especially along the scar line. Yes, his entire leg was disfigured and battered, but what a miracle it was that he had somehow managed to overcome the obvious pain and suffering and could walk. That act alone was a testament to Chase’s strong will and resilience.
RuthieAnn could only imagine all the agony he’d suffered. Gazing at his battered and torn body just served to remind her of the absolute hatred and fear she still carried around with her like an anvil she couldn’t leave behind. Lucky had purposely caused all of this misery and suffering simply because Chase had innocently stopped to give a broken and beaten girl a ride.
