“Don’t feel bad. I almost killed a man once. He threatened me with a knife, and the next thing I knew a gust of wind sent him clear across the room. He hit his head and was in a coma for two days. And … I can’t believe I just told a Federal Agent that,” I chuckled.
“Well, I am damn good at my job, Annie.” Annie. No one had ever called me that. An Annie was sweet, traditional, playful. I liked it. “So, why’d he attack you? Was he a mugger or …”
“Nope, just an asshole,” I said before another sip of Coke. A change of topic was needed before I dug myself into a bigger felonious hole. “So, do you like your job? I imagine it’s quite thrilling.”
“It can be, I guess. I don’t want to do it forever, but …” He shrugged. “I get homesick a lot. My mom, my stepdad, my sister, my friends back home all think I’m a traveling salesman. I only get to see them a couple times a year.”
“Where’s home?”
“Garland, Texas. It’s this little suburb outside of Dallas. I miss it so damn much some days. The barbecues, cheering on the football team on Friday night, meeting my friends for a beer, having dinner with my family and talking about our days, you know?”
“Not even a little. It sounds wonderful, though.”
“What about you? Where’s home?”
“Hell if I know,” I chuckled wryly. “Used to think I did. Now …” I shook my head.
“What about family? Your mom and dad?”
“Dad, and I use that word loosely, died ten years ago and as far as I know Mom’s still chasing the Grateful Dead.”
“There has to be someone.”
“There was—is,” I corrected with a flinch. “Asher.”
“Your boyfriend?”
“That word doesn’t exactly cover what he is, but yeah.”
“The same one who made you have a nervous breakdown in the hallway?”
“He didn’t … you don’t know him,” was the only defense I could come up with.
“From where I’m sitting, I ain’t missing much, Annie.”
“You know, for a Southerner, you are very rude.”
“You’re one to talk about manners. I didn’t slam a door in your face, if memory serves.”
I cringed at the memory. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. And if it makes you feel better, I felt terrible about it all day. But you’re still being rude now.”
“Well, I’ve been up for more than twenty-four hours getting the runaround from vampires and their friends, including a hulking Russian werewolf who threatened to do something to me illegal in most states. I would tell you to talk to me tomorrow if you want me to feed you a big plate of bullshit that your life is peachy keen, but my mama taught me never to lie. Sorry. You want that, go try one of your vamp pals. I’ve found that if their lips are wagging, the words aren’t even worth a grain of salt.”
“You really have a low opinion of vampires, don’t you?”
He shrugged. “I’ve been around them for two years, and I have yet to meet one who wasn’t spoiled, selfish, or just downright evil. I’ve been to too many crime scenes where companions like you … well, what I’ve seen will fuel my nightmares until my dying day. And I don’t want that for you. Hell, for anyone.”
“First, I’m a consort, not a companion. There is a difference. And second, Asher would never let anything like what you’re suggesting happen. He’d turn me if it did.”
“And that’s what you want? You’re what, sixteen?”
“Nineteen.”
“What about a career? A family? You just want to follow this asshole, who obviously passes you around to his friends for a midnight snack, around for all eternity?”
“He doesn’t pass … it’s this woman. Christine. She’s got him all twisted around. We were great before. We … we were happy. We were. If I could just get her away from him …”
“My grandmamma had a saying: ‘No matter how strong the leash, if a dog wants to chase a pig, there is not a damn thing you can do to hold it back, and you’ll just break your arm trying to.’ I’m sure his wandering eye has precious little to do with you, Annie. It’s just who he is. Nothing you can do will change that. Nothing. And if that is the case, you just gotta say, ‘I love you, but I love me more.’” He shook his head. “All I know is, if anyone, anyone puts you in a situation where you feel like you have to forfeit your dignity—hell, your self-worth—then they ain’t worth a one of your tears, let alone a moment of your precious life. And it is precious.””
The waitress returned with our dinner. Just in time too. The distraction kept me from bursting into tears. Again. I brushed away the strays, and even managed a quick smile for our server. She shot me a sympathetic look back before leaving again. I wasn’t hungry anymore. I’d ordered the burger raw but the blood leaking onto the plate turned my stomach. Always with the blood. I just picked at the fries.
Nathan had no such problem. “Don’t like it?” he asked with his mouth full.
“I just …”
“You should eat. You are probably anemic, and you’re sure as hell just skin and bones.”
I threw my fry down. “You’re just a ray of sunshine, you know that?”
“Another thing you could use.” He took a huge bite then grinned to get a rise out of me.
It worked. “Okay, wise one, just for the sake of argument, let’s say I did decide to up and leave. To give up on my soul mate and walk into the sunrise. I’ve been with Asher since I was nine years old. I have nothing, no one, save for him. He is the only person who ever loved me. He was the only one who ever saw something worthwhile inside me and did what he could to foster it. Not to mention I have no money, and no real useful skills. I tried it alone once, and you know what happened? I became my mother, stealing and shacking up with a puton who tried to stab me. And the only reason I was with him was because I was lonely, and I very much doubt you have any idea what that depth of loneliness is like. None. It’s like you’re drowning, but you don’t even want to try and save yourself because it’s the only way you think you can escape the misery. I can’t go through it again. I can’t. At least now … there’s hope he’ll come back to me. That things will be like they were.”
“Until the next distraction comes along, and you’re the walking dead with no going back.” Nathan leaned forward, meeting my eyes. “Look, I don’t have any easy answers for you. I don’t. I wish to God I did, Annie. This might be the hardest decision you’ll ever make in your life. And you’re right, I don’t know you, and I don’t know him. But what little I do know, from where I’m sitting, things can’t get a hell of a lot worse, can they? I think you know that, but whether you’re ready to face it, only you can answer that. But I can tell you that the one good thing about hitting bottom is there’s only one way to go, and who knows what’s waiting for you up there among the blue skies and sunshine.” He sat back in his chair again. “Hell could even be Valhalla,” he said with a grin.
“Valhalla?”
“I went through a Norse mythology phase,” he said, shrugging. “And a Greek mythology phase. And a Star Trek phase. I’ve had a lot of phases. Right now, it’s a chivalrous one.”
“Lucky me.”
“Damn straight,” he said with pride.
I shook my head. “You are a very strange guy, Agent West.”
“Coming from you, Miss Asher, and knowing the company you keep, I will take that as a big damn compliment.” He nudged my plate toward me. “Now eat. Odin commands it.”
“Odin?” I asked with a smirk. “I thought Thor was the one who controlled lightning.”
“Just eat,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“All hail, Odin,” I said, biting into my burger before smiling at my new friend.
He smiled back. “Now, there’s a gal who can take care of herself.”
When those words came from his lips, I actually believed it to be true. And I would be damned if I made a liar out of him.
_____
Be it the company or loneli
ness—okay it was really the company—after dessert when Nathan escorted me back to the hotel, I was sad to see him go. Despite his verbal diarrhea habit, he was so bright and sunny. So refreshingly straightforward. And he didn’t want a damn thing from me. Not ego boosting, not sex, he just wanted to make me feel better. That was the first time that’d ever happened to me. Riding up the elevator alone, I realized I may never see him again. He gave me his card, but I don’t think either of us expected me to use it. Two ships passing in the night enjoying grease and conversation. Still, it would have been nice to have a friend. Someone to have lunch with and just shoot the breeze. To gossip with and go see movies with and chat about life. I hadn’t had a real friend in … ten years.
That realization was like a punch to my already tender gut. It was just so wrong and pathetic. Even at boarding school, I didn’t try to make one. Maybe I would have had a better time there had I made the effort. Even when Asher was hundreds of miles away, he consumed all my energy. I worshiped the man, and he repaid my devotion by casting me aside for the first pretty face who crooked her finger. Nathan was right. I couldn’t continue on my current course. My body and soul were at their breaking points. They’d been bent so far one little puff of air, and they’d splinter into a million tiny pieces. And a total stranger had seen it before I did.
I almost lost my resolve when I stepped into our suite to find Asher rushing out of our bedroom, relief and anguish washing over his face. Oh, how breathtaking he was in a white shirt, gray vest, and trousers bringing out the red of his hair and blue of his eyes. Even after ten years it thrilled me each time I laid eyes on him.
“There you are! I am sorry, I am so sorry.” He scooped me into his arms, and the urge to embrace him back was overpowering. I managed all of a second before I returned the gesture, even inhaling his scent and the glorious sensation of his body against mine. I just couldn’t help myself. One step forward, two steps back.
“You have returned. We were growing worried.”
I opened my eyes as Christine sauntered from his bedroom, hips swaying, with a satisfied smirk on her pretty face. For once, I was grateful for her presence. Asher’s spell broke enough for my resolve to return. I removed myself from his grasp to glare at her. “Oh, I bet you were.” My gaze whipped to him. “We need to talk.”
“Oh, you are in trouble now, Asher, my love. Those are the deadliest words a woman can ever utter,” Christine said.
“Alone,” I added with a scowl.
“But I love a good brawl,” Christine whined.
“Christine, please,” Asher said, but really it sounded like an order.
Her nose twitched with displeasure, but she plastered on a grin. “Of course. I shall be in the other bedroom waiting to lick your wounds, my love.” She blew us a kiss before crossing the living room, retreating into the bedroom and shutting the door. Not that a door would change a thing. Thanks to vampire superhearing she wouldn’t miss a word. Rolling my eyes, I went the opposite direction into the master bedroom.
“I would like to begin,” Asher said, shutting our door, “by apologizing. We lost track of time and—”
“I can’t do this anymore,” I cut in.
“Pardon me?”
“I cannot do this,” I said, gesturing around our room, “anymore. I can’t live like this anymore. I refuse to.”
“Mo chuisle, I understand you are upset about tonight, and you have every cause to be, but—”
“It’s not just about tonight, Asher. It’s about everything. The constant clubbing, the feedings, the … sharing with others. Her. She’s toxic and evil, but the sad part is, I can’t fully blame her for everything. I’m not in a relationship with her. I didn’t pledge my undying love to her, and she didn’t do the same back to me. Unlike you. Two years ago if another man looked at me, you’d gouge his eyes out. Now you shove me toward them so you can watch. How dare you do that? And how dare I let you? You know I even tried to get pregnant? I was so desperate to hold on to you, I almost brought a child into this. I’m an adult, and our life isn’t fit for me.
“I love you. I love you more than life itself, but I refuse to share you with anyone, and I refuse to compromise myself anymore. I have given you everything I have: my body, my heart, hell even my soul. I deserve some respect back in return. If you love me even one percent as much as I love you, you will give me at least that. At the very least. Or I walk. I will walk out that door, and you will be dead to me. I won’t speak to you, I won’t go looking for you, you will be nothing but a memory to me. Or we walk out together. You send her away, and we rebuild our life, just the two of us. Please.” I stepped toward him, gazed into those piercing blue pools as I had four years before, and whispered, “I need you to do this for me. I need you to love me enough to want to do this for me. Please.”
Without hesitation, he caressed my cheek as his face fell. “Of course,” he whispered desperately. “Of course.”
The lodestone around my neck dissolved with those two words. I let out a strangled laugh as the tears spilled. I kissed him once, twice, three times, whispering, “Thank you,” until he rammed his lips against mine so hard it hurt. We made love the same way, as if we’d been separated for months and believed we’d never see each other again before or after. All was forgotten, all was forgiven, and nothing and no one else mattered but us. As it always should have been.
Afterward, I lay in my spot, nestled against his shoulder as he stoked my hair. No place, nothing better in this world or the next. “You were truly going to leave me,” he said as if it had just dawned on him.
“Yes. I was.”
He stopped petting, instead grabbing a chunk of my hair in his fist. “How long have you been contemplating this?”
“Not long. Well, not as a serious option. What does it matter now?”
“I simply had no idea you were so unhappy. You never said anything. You never … said no.”
“I wanted to make you happy. And I’m not blaming you completely, and I’m not saying some of it wasn’t fun, but I just let things stretch too far. I broke. Asher, I’m not that person. I’m not made for constant parties and living out of a suitcase. I’m just not. And I’m certainly not a person who wants to share you, especially with her. I want our life back. You’re enough for me, and I’m enough for you, right? I made you happy. Me alone. We were happy. We can be happy again.”
“Of course.” He kissed my forehead. “Just … never frighten me again. I am lost without you, mo chusile. I do not know what I would do if you left me.”
I leaned across and kissed him deeply. “Then don’t give me a reason to.”
The second time was slower, almost painfully slow as if he wished to punish me. I never begged so much in my life. When he decided I’d had enough, I was literally in tears from pleasure. Oh, how I adored that man.
When we could walk again, and it took some time, he went to shower and I to get a drink from the minibar in the living room. Compared to earlier I was floating on air, even humming like Snow White to her chipper woodland critters. Of course like Snow, the Evil Queen breaks the spell almost immediately. She’d been waiting to pounce. Christine staggered from her bedroom, expression neutral for once. I expected anger. Hate. Recriminations, but maybe I was just projecting. There were a million things I wanted to shout at her, that I’d kept bottled for years, but the glow of victory wouldn’t allow me to kick her while she was down. “Hello, Christine. I thought you would have gone out by now.”
“And miss your little performance and its X-rated encore? Never.”
“Then you know what’s happening. We’re leaving tomorrow. Without you. I’m sorry it had to be like this, but—”
“Oh, spare me the insincere platitudes, little girl. They are beneath even you.” She began slowly stalking toward me. “And they are premature regardless.”
“Are they now?”
“Oh, yes. You have talent, I concede that. No girl has ever wrapped Asher around her little finger as efficient
ly as you. Well, pleasant company excluded,” she said with a proud smile. “It took longer to extract him from your clutches than with the others. I almost gave up hope once or twice. But perseverance always wins in the end.” Her smile reversed into a scowl just as she stepped one foot from me. “I always win in the end.”
My eyes narrowed. “If that’s what you think, then you haven’t kept up on current events. This time tomorrow we’ll be on a plane back home, and you’ll be all alone. Again.”
“For how long? A year? Two if you’re lucky? How long until his wanderlust resurfaces? It runs strong within him, little girl. Always has. Some birds are not meant to be caged, no matter how gilded said enclosure is. And if you are the one to lock him in, he will either die inside or break out and peck you to death, as the past months have proved. He will never be Father Knows Best. He will never be The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit. You will never be enough for him. I can live with that fact, little girl, can you?”
The knot in my stomach, the same one that coiled when Nathan said the same thing, tightened with each word. “You—you’re just running scared. You’ll say anything to hurt me. You don’t know him, and you certainly don’t know anything about real love.”
She shook her head. “I cannot fathom how one as bright as you could also be so naive. Folly of youth, I suppose.” She shrugged. “Oh, well. The hard road it is. Just know, you brought this upon yourself, lovey.”
Still expressionless, Christine grabbed her own hair and yanked. Hard. My mouth dropped open as a huge clump came out in her hand. My jaw thumped to the carpet as a moment later she clawed her own cheek, once again drawing blood. “What—”
“Stop! What the hell are you doing?” Christine shrieked at the top of her lungs. “Leave me alone! Asher! Asher!”
“Have you lost your mind?”
“I’m sorry! Just stop it! Stay away from me! Stop—” The crazy vampire flung herself head first into the glass shelves of the bar so hard she not only shattered them but the mirror behind them. Shards large and small fell around her like snow. “Stop! Anna, stop!” Finally, she threw herself back first into the wood coffee table, cracking it in half. It happened so fast, and I was so shocked, I just stood there as she continued her self-assault. I felt as if I were going mad.
Witch Upon a Star (A Midnight Magic Mystery) Page 13
