by K. K. Allen
Without another word, we’re gathering our things, hopping on his bike, and then he’s whisking me away to Looking Glass Falls.
Looking Glass Falls is by far the most crowded site yet. With its deep, wide plunge pool and ideal sunning spots, it’s one of the hotspots for tourists. I frown at the idea of searching for a spot to sit among the chaos. And selfishly, I want to be alone with Jaxon. He must see my expression because he gives my hand a tug.
“I have an idea.”
We hop back on the bike and he takes us deeper into the woods, down a narrow dirt trail that doesn’t seem like it’s meant for tourists. And suddenly, I know exactly where we’re going. I smile.
Hollow Falls is an unbelievable sight. Hidden in the mountains, off the beaten path, it remains practically untouched, the best kept secret of Balsam Grove. We’ll never be bothered by tourists here. It’s ours unless a local decides to crash our party.
He pulls to a stop at the base of the falls, and I stare up at them in wonder. The thirty-five feet of raging water pours into a deep pool with a heavy splash. Above it, the bridge where he brought me just the other day. A bridge that had become our meeting place on so many occasions before he’d steal me away for a day of adventure.
“Jax.” His name is all I can manage.
“Incredible, isn’t it? The tourists still haven’t found it,” he teases. He helps me off the bike with a grin. “C’mon, I saved the best for last.”
We find the perfect flat rock just above the water and lay two towels down to sit. We’re silent as we eat our late lunch, a random assortment of sandwiches and mixed fruit, and we stare out at the falls. At some point, I sneak a look at him and blush when I find he’s already watching me.
Caught, Jaxon smiles, drops the remains of his sandwich into the bag, and stands. “Time for a swim.”
I follow his lead, brushing my hands against a napkin and throwing my trash into the bag before reaching for his hand. We cannonball into the water, swim until we’re exhausted, and then lie in the sun until our cheeks turn pink. I sit up, feeling sweat roll down my back. “Maybe we should get out of the sun.”
He flips up his hands to shade his eyes and opens one in a squint, then drops his gaze down my side. Smirking in amusement, he pokes a finger at my arm, turning my skin white before it fades back to color.
I glare and slap his hand away as he chuckles. “Watch it,” I warn with a finger wagging in the air.
His grin is full-blown now. It’s obvious I didn’t get much sun in Durham, but geez. “Fine. Let’s find some shade,” he relents, sitting up and stretching.
After we’ve settled into our shady spot beneath a tree closer to the falls, Jaxon speaks. “I was thinking about what you said earlier.”
I turn to him, curious.
“You may have forgotten some stuff, but it didn’t change you.” He shoots me a look, then turns forward again and nods at the falls. “It didn’t alter your landscape.” His response to my therapist’s explanation of the Waterfall Effect warms my insides.
“But that’s the thing, Jax,” I say gently. “It did alter my landscape. It changed me.” I swallow as his eyes meet mine. “What I’m realizing being back here is that even though it changed me, that doesn’t mean I need to forget where I came from. And it doesn’t need to stop me from where I’m going. I’m just…different.”
“I get what you’re saying. I agree. All I’m saying is that you’re strong,” he says, taking my hand. His confidence is infectious. “You’ve always been strong. Even now—you coming back here after everything that happened—that takes bravery. Not many would do the same.”
“It felt like a sign.”
His brows lift. “What did?”
I shrug, realizing I never did tell him the full reason I came back. “My father left me the deed to the cottage. His attorney delivered it after his death, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. It was a sign, Jax. At least I took it as one. I’m not so sure I would have been able to come back and face this place if he were still alive.”
“Why?”
This isn’t something I’ve told anyone, and it’s not easy to say. “I guess when he was alive, it was like I was locked up too. Not physically, of course. But when he got convicted that day, so did I.”
“Aurora, no,” Jax says with a swallow. He squeezes my hand, but I shake my head to tell him not to come closer. I don’t know what comes over me in this moment, but I’m realizing things I’ve never even admitted to myself before.
“I blamed myself for what he did.”
“No, babe. Why? Aurora, he was sick. You had a hard time believing that then, but there is no way in hell any of that guilt should fall on you.”
“You don’t understand. I don’t even understand it, Jax. I’m just telling you what I was going through when I left that courthouse. I felt guilty, like I had done something to cause all of this, and him getting convicted became my life sentence too. And then he died, and I—” I shake my head, forcing back a sob. “I woke up, I guess. That intense guilt I’d felt because of everything that happened, it didn’t feel as heavy. It was…closure. And that’s the only way I’ve really been able to explain it to myself.”
Jaxon grips my cheeks, glides a finger across my jaw, and places his forehead against mine. “We all suffered for your father’s sins, but babe, you are not to blame. You are a gift, the most beautiful gift in this cruel fucking world. These past six years have been the best and worst of my life. I somehow managed to build something I’m so proud of, but doing it without you was the worst kind of hell. I don’t care why you came back; I’m just glad you’re here. And you’re not leaving.”
I smile, rolling my forehead against his. His lips are so close that his breath mingles with mine. My fingers stroke the warmed skin of his thighs. “That’s not your decision to make.”
His eyes darken, falling to my lips. His head shakes. “The hell it’s not,” he rasps. Then his lips are on mine, and somehow it’s even better than last time. As fast as my heart is beating, I’m not paralyzed by his touch. I feel everything. The air that whips around us like it’s holding us together. The sensation of his fingers sliding up my side until they hit just under my right breast. The feel of his thumb caressing my cheek as his teeth nibble my bottom lip.
My head dizzies and my chest swirls with excitement, with anticipation, with hope. I’m completely lost in Jaxon Mills—my favorite place to be.
I part my mouth just enough for his tongue to sweep in to tangle with mine. His palm still cups my neck as he dips me back even lower. I reach for him, digging my fingers into his sides with a fearless hunger.
I miss him. There were so many nights over the years when I allowed my thoughts to travel back to how it felt to be wrapped up in his hold with him deep inside me, his breath in my ear, his whispered confessions of love slipping into my heart where I trapped them forever.
I’ve always felt greedy with Jaxon, like I could never get enough, but I finally have the confidence to show it. My fingers skate over his ribs and up his chest before I grip his neck, pulling him even closer. But it’s the guttural moan that slips past my lips that causes him to growl and pull me onto his lap, cradling me as my ass presses down on his arousal.
We both gasp, and then I’m feeding into his kiss, clutching and nipping while shoving my fingers through his curls. The pads of his fingers dig into my hip and I move, just slightly, greedy for the friction that’s started a buzz low in my belly.
It’s been so long since I’ve felt this kind of passion—the flames that threaten to erupt with the friction caused by two souls desperately clawing their way to one another. That was always us. Still is. Innocent with intention, yet anything but as I grind down onto his lap and swallow the next rumble that escapes his throat.
“Fuck,” he growls, placing a finger at the top of my bikini bottom and dragging it across my skin as if asking permission to enter. “Do you have any idea how bad
I want to touch you right now?” His voice is in my ear as I try to catch my breath. My lids squeeze together. “To feel you again, Aurora?”
I quiver, my breath coming out in pants, but I can’t speak. I can’t think. I just want with so much desperation. My nipples pucker and my breath catches when a finger dips under the fabric and continues its journey back and forth, teasing me.
“You’re wet for me, aren’t you?”
I can feel the slickness between my thighs as he breathes roughly into my ear.
“You used to love my fingers in you. Remember that, Waterfall Eyes?” He bites his lower lip as his eyes slip down to where his hand is. “You’d squirm so much I’d have to pin you there with my hands.” A coy smile lands on his lips before he kisses me again, breathing me in deeply. “And you were so damn loud when you’d scream for me. I’d have to muffle your sounds with my mouth, remember that?” His lips move to my neck as his fingers dip lower, stealing my breath. “But I never got to taste you.”
My legs part instinctively, waiting for his touch. My hips lift as I grip fistfuls of his hair.
What is he waiting for?
Just as the thought enters my mind, I feel the drag of his finger as it moves lower, slips deeper beneath my bikini bottoms and finds my center—his delicate touch to my wet warmth. I almost shatter right then. My heart catches in my throat before I remember to breathe. He’s rubbing me slowly, feeding me kisses as he teases the bundle of nerves that zings and tightens at his touch.
“I missed you,” he rasps his voice almost swallowed by the whistling of the wind.
My forehead falls to his, but just then, the whistling turns into something else. It seems to be coming from somewhere deep in the woods. Jaxon hears it too, beyond the roaring of the falls. I know because we both freeze at the same time, ears turned toward the sound.
Our mouths are a breath apart as we listen for the noise again, his hand never moving from between my thighs. Just as I think we both imagined it, the whistling starts all over, followed by the sound of sticks crunching against the forest floor.
Jaxon’s brows furrow.
“It’s just an animal,” I say, eager to get back to what we started. I use my hand to turn his face back toward mine.
He smiles knowingly before kissing me hard on the mouth, his fingers eagerly continuing their massage against my sensitive bud.
Then another whistle sounds, this one louder and clearer than the two before it.
Our heads twist toward the sound again, my heart beating fast as Jaxon grips me tighter. My legs close as Jaxon slips his hands from my bikini bottoms. His eyes narrow as he searches the space around us. “We’re not alone, babe. Someone wants the falls.”
“W-what? Is that like a call of possession or something? They whistle and we’re supposed to just leave?”
Jaxon laughs lightly, then kisses me before lifting me from his lap, still holding me close. “Let’s get out of here. It’s getting dark anyway.” His voice softens, and my heart follows his lead. It’s always followed his lead.
Jaxon was always the one to calm me. Always the one to save me. The moment I lost him, everything went wrong. Everything. I’ve never believed in relying on a man to save me. No man should ever be the center of a woman’s universe. But Jaxon gets that, and he fits into my world just as I always felt I fit into his.
I throw on my clothes, water instantly soaking my shorts and tank top. Jaxon remains topless, dressed only in his swim shorts, and we take off on his bike, zooming through the woods until we’re back on the paved road and heading toward his house.
We pull up to Jaxon’s driveway and hop off the bike in front of the two-story house that once belonged to his parents. I swallow back the nerves that come with the memory of the last time I stood at the end of this driveway, so angry at Jaxon for turning down an amazing opportunity just to stay in this town with me. But just as it always has, that memory feels broken, like pieces of it are missing and there’s more to the reason for my anger than I could ever remember.
I look over at Jaxon. He’s giving me a crooked smile that fills my heart with love. Those damn flutters erupt in my chest again, completely obliterating any negative memory I have and replacing it with the good. So much good.
He takes my hand and tugs me toward him. His finger cups my chin as he stares down at me with my favorite storm, the kind I want to experience rather than run from. The difference once confused me, but not anymore.
“Hey.” His voice reaches the deepest parts of me, like it’s the bass of my body, making me vibrate deeply in response. “Let me impress you with my newfound culinary skills, and then I’ll take you home. I promise I won’t kidnap you tonight.”
“You won’t?” I ask, my pout uncontained, and Jax laughs.
He shakes his head, his lips brushing mine. “Not tonight, babe. Soon. I promise. But not tonight. I have a business thing in Asheville tomorrow and I have to get up early, but I’m not ready to take you home yet.” He moves my hand to his chest and dips to kiss me.
I smile, biting the inside of my mouth to keep from grinning like an idiot. “It kind of sounds like you just asked me out on a date. I don’t think we ever went on one of those.”
He groans and rolls his eyes. “That was all you, and you know it.”
It’s true. It was my fear of getting caught together by someone who would tell my father. My father, who had already threatened Jaxon with a rifle after he caught Jaxon outside my window early in the fall. My father, who I knew had mental issues I didn’t want to aggravate, even if I never understood them completely. My father, who I loved.
“So, you know how to cook now?” I say, fighting against the dark thoughts that have begun to creep in.
He presses his lips to mine. “Come inside and find out.”
I would have said yes even if he told me he was feeding me animal crackers.
I follow him through the front door, stopping in my tracks as soon as I’ve crossed the threshold. Everything about the house is different than I remember.
Smiling at my surprise, he explains, “I renovated the place after my parents moved out. I had some extra money from the trust they set up for me for school.” He gives me a side-eye that I know means his parents were not happy about him not going to school. That was always the plan. Jaxon would learn the family business, go to school to have a fallback plan, and then take over the business with all the right certifications. I don’t let on that I know more than he’s telling me—that he and his parents had a falling out that led to them leaving for good.
Jaxon takes me through the house so I can see the extent of the updates. Every room was touched in some way. The basement, which used to be his parent’s theater room, is now a game room. The entire main floor has been updated with new floors, built-in cabinets, and a gourmet kitchen.
He takes me down the hall, skipping past the bathroom and the beautiful French doors leading to the den. We’re standing in front of his bedroom at the end of the hall—or at least what used to be his bedroom. When he opens the door, I gasp.
The entire room is floor-to-ceiling art. Familiar canvases my brush once painted. My art.
My throat tightens, and I feel pinpricks in the back of my eyes as I try to control the emotion coursing through my body. I turn to Jaxon, my eyes officially watering, leaking tears of shock. “H-how?”
Every single canvas is one I thought I lost. Every single painting is one I painted with Jaxon as we wandered the woods, overlooking the waterfalls or exploring an abandoned cabin. For hours, we’d just paint. And then my father destroyed them all. Or so he said.
A strong arm wraps around my middle as his chin drops to the top of my head. I’m speechless. He waits, holding me as I try to regain my composure.
And then the tears fall. “He said he destroyed them all.”
Jaxon squeezes my middle again. “He didn’t destroy anything.” He says the words through gritted teeth. “They were under
your back porch, wrapped up in blankets. Lacey pokes around a lot under there, and I was curious one day and pulled them out. I only took them to keep them safe. They’re yours, of course. This room—it’s yours, Aurora.”
I turn, my face falling into his chest as more tears build behind my eyes. I was not expecting this. Not at all. Seeing them again brings back one of the worst memories I ever kept. After my father took them, I experienced a pain I would never forget and hoped I would never feel again. A sob of sadness, happiness, and regret bubbles up in my throat and escapes before I can stop it. If there were anything Jaxon could do or say to show me he still feels a single thing for me, this is it.
My cheeks are streaked with tears and my chin quivers, but I don’t care. I stand on my tip-toes to take his mouth with mine and give him everything I can possibly give in this moment. It’s not enough. There will never be an equivalent to his love for me, but I will forever try.
Our mouths part as another sob leaves my throat.
“Babe, hey. Look at me,” he says gently.
I peer up, my eyes wet and blurring my vision. I wipe them away and peer up again.
“You’ve always been with me, no matter what,” he says. “This is the only proof I can give you. I brought you here to remind you of everything you’ve accomplished. You never needed permission to have passion. To do anything you ever wanted. We fought a lot because of it, because you never understood why I couldn’t leave you to go overseas. To travel the world. You never understood.” He leans in, kissing me softly and pulling away far too fast. “There’s a reason. A reason you wouldn’t listen to then, but I hope you do now. Aurora, there was no way in hell any of those experiences would have meant anything without you by my side.”
Tears fill my eyes again, and I wipe them away with the back of my hand. “I thought you’d resent me if I was the reason you didn’t go.” Jaxon appreciates honesty, so I’ll give it. “I thought you’d be waiting around for me and continue to fight with your parents about the property and hate me for it all. Jax, I was afraid that you staying would tear us apart, but I see now you only wanted to stay to keep us together. I’m sorry. Call me young and naïve, I guess.”
