“Okay,” she said softly. “I get it now—why that place is so special to you.”
“Good.” His caressing tone hovered somewhere on the border between gentle and intimate. “I mean, nothing against Theresa, but she’s not what I think about when the Hitching Post comes to mind.”
Joss felt rotten, and not only for razzing him about Theresa. There was also the uncomfortable fact that she was starting to wonder what it might feel like to kiss him. Plus, she was flat-out envious of him.
He had a great big, terrific family. And he’d had a dad, a real dad, until he was six, a dad who hadn’t left him willingly. Then, when he lost his dad, he’d gotten kind Pete Wexler as a stepdad. Her dad, on the other hand, had walked out before she even had a chance to know him. Her family consisted of her and her mom and right now, her mom only lectured her.
He was grinning again. “So come on, let’s go to the Hitching Post.”
“I don’t know. It’s past noon. Maybe I should just go back up to the resort.”
His grin faded. He blew out a breath. “Okay, Joss. what’s up with you?”
“I just…I feel low now, that’s all.”
“Why? A few minutes ago you seemed to be having a great time.”
“I was.”
“So what happened? You realized you were having too much fun?”
She opened her mouth to tell him how off-base he was, but then she saw that he might actually have a point. “I keep thinking I can’t just hang around in Montana doing nothing forever.”
“You’re right, but there’s no problem. You’re only hanging around in Montana doing nothing for another week. Then you can go back home and knock yourself out finding another job and a new apartment.”
Now she felt hurt. Really, her emotions were all over the map today. “How can you make a joke of it, Jace? It’s not a joke.”
“I know it’s not.” He said the words gently. And then he asked, “Are you bored?”
“No!” She wasn’t. Not in the least. “Are you kidding? I’m having a great time—or I was, just like you said, until a few minutes ago. And then, I don’t know, all at once I felt low and cranky.”
Jace stuffed his hands in his pockets. And then he just stood there next to the glass-topped, café-curtained door of the closed restaurant, watching her, waiting.
She busted herself. “Okay, my life’s a mess. And right now, I feel guilty about it. I mean, at least up at the resort I’m busy being defiant, you know? Having my un-honeymoon, hating all men. But here, with you…” She didn’t know quite how to explain it.
Jace did it for her. “Here, with me, you’re having a good time. And you don’t feel you have the right to have a good time. And not only are you having a good time when you don’t have the right to, but you’re also having it with a man.” He widened his eyes and spoke in a spooky half whisper. “A man you just met…yesterday.” She didn’t know whether to laugh or punch him in the arm. Then he put on a look of pretend disapproval. “Face it, Joss. Your mother would never approve.”
“This is not about my mother.” She said it with way too much heat. “And I really, well, I just want to go back to the resort now. Please.”
He gave her a long look. And then he nodded. “All right, but would you do one little favor for me first?”
She resisted the sudden need to tap her foot. “Fine. What?”
“The Town Square’s back there about two blocks. It’s that small park we passed after we left the bakery?”
“I remember it. What about it?”
“We’ll stop there, sit on a bench under a tree and talk a little bit more. And then I’ll take you back up Thunder Mountain.”
She folded her arms across her middle and looked at him sideways. “Talk about what?”
“I don’t know. The weather, the Dallas Cowboys, the meaning of life…”
“Oh, very funny.”
“We’ll just talk, that’s all, about whatever subject pops into our heads. And not for long, I promise. Half an hour, max. Then it’s back to the resort for you.”
She accused, “I know you’re going to try and make me feel better about everything. Don’t deny it.”
“I wouldn’t dream of denying it. Yes, Jocelyn Marie, the ugly truth is I am going to try and make you feel better. That is my evil plan. So what do you say? The Town Square? A measly little half hour of your time?”
He didn’t wait for her answer, but only reached for her hand again.
The little park was a lovely, grassy, tree-shaded place. They found a bench under a willow, the drooping branches like a veil, hiding them from the rest of the world.
“Nice, huh?” he asked her, after brushing a few leaves off the bench seat and gallantly gesturing for her to sit first. She did, smoothing her skirt under her, crossing her legs and folding her hands around her knee. He dropped down next to her. “Kind of private. If we whisper, no one will even know we’re here.”
She laughed. He really was so charming. “How old are you, ten?”
“Only at heart. Tell me a secret.”
She gave him a deadpan stare. “You first.”
He thought it over, shrugged. “Once I kissed a toad.”
“Eeww. Why?”
“Jackson dared me. He was always a troublemaker. And I was his second banana, you know? He would come up with these wild-ass ideas and I felt honor-bound to go along. But then, somehow, if there was something gross involved, he would always manage to get me to go first. Then he would mock me. Once I kissed the toad, he told me I was going to get warts on my lips.”
“Oh, that’s just mean.”
“He could be, yeah. But he’s also…the best, you know?”
“How?”
“He’d take a bullet for me. For anyone in the family. That’s how he is. You can count on him. Even in the old days, when you never knew what stunt he was going to pull next, you always knew he had your back.”
“So you’re saying he’s settled down, then—from the days when he made you kiss that toad?”
Jace nodded. “He was the bad boy of the family. He drank too much and he chased women and he swore that no female was ever going to hogtie him. But then he met Laila. She changed his tune right quick. Now he’s got a ring on his finger and contentment in his heart. I’ve never seen him as happy as he is now.” He studied her face. His gaze was warm. She thought how she was kind of glad he’d insisted they come here before he took her back up the mountain, how being with him really did lift her spirits. “Your turn,” he said. “Cough up that secret.”
“I always wanted to get married,” she heard herself say. “Ever since I was little. I wanted…a real family. I wanted the family I never had. A man I could love and trust. Several kids. Growing up, it was always so quiet at home, with just my mom and me. My mom likes things tidy. I learned early to clean up after myself. So our small house was neat and orderly, with a hushed kind of feeling about it. I dreamed of one of those big, old Craftsman-style houses, with the pillars in front and the wide, deep front porch—you know the kind?”
“I do.”
“I dreamed of bikes on their sides on the front lawn, of toys all over the living room floor, of spilled milk and crayon drawings scrawled in bright colors on the walls, because the children who lived there were rambunctious and adventurous and couldn’t resist a whole wall to color on. I dreamed of a bunch of laughing, crying, screaming, chattering kids, everybody talking over everybody else, of music on the stereo and the TV on too loud. And I saw myself in the middle of all of it, loving every minute of it. Me, the Mom. And I saw my husband coming in the door and stepping over the scattered toys to take me in his arms after a hard day’s work. I pictured him kissing me, a real, hot, toe-curling kiss, the kind that would make our older kids groan and tell us to get a room.”
“Wow,” he said. “That’s a lot better secret than kissing a toad.”
A leaf drifted down into her lap. She brushed it away and confessed, “I always felt guilty abo
ut my dream for my life, you know? My mom did the best she could. But all I wanted was to grow up and get out of there, to find my steady, patient, good-natured guy and start having a whole bunch of rowdy kids.”
“Joss.” He touched her hair again, so lightly, guiding a hank of it back over her shoulder. “I’m beginning to think there is altogether too much guilt going on in your head.”
“Yeah, probably. But my mom tried so hard, she worked so hard, to do right by me, to make a good life for me.”
“Just because you dreamed of a different way to be a mom doesn’t make your mom’s way bad.”
She gave a low chuckle. “You amaze me, you know that?”
“In a good way, I hope.”
“In a great way. When I met you I thought you were just another hot guy trying to get laid. But instead, you’re a shrink and a philosopher, with a little Mahatma Gandhi thrown in for good measure.”
He arched one of those thick, dark eyebrows. “Just don’t tell Jackson, okay? Not the part about Mahatma Gandhi anyway. He would never let me live it down.”
She uncrossed her legs, folded her hands tightly in her lap and stared miserably down at them. “I have another secret. A bad one.”
He teased, “Really bad?”
“Yeah, really stinkin’ bad. I’m beyond embarrassed to admit it.”
He didn’t say anything. He just waited, not pushing her.
So she told him. “For the first two days I was here, staying at the resort, I was fully planning to work things out with Kenny, take him back and marry him anyway, in spite of what he did with Kimberly in the coat room.” She paused, waiting for him to say how he couldn’t believe she would ever give a jerk like that another chance.
But he only sat there, waiting, his expression unreadable, giving her a chance to tell him the rest.
So, grimly, she continued. “Within an hour after I ran from the church, I was already thinking of how I was only going to make Kenny suffer for a while, make him grovel at my feet and beg me to give him another chance. And then, once he’d admitted what a complete jackass he’d been, once he’d sworn never to do anything like that again, I would take him back. I was thinking that he could give me that big Craftsman house I wanted. I was thinking that with him, I could afford to have all those kids. I was thinking that I had chosen him and been with him for five whole years because he was the one to help me live my dream. I told myself all that, even though long before the wedding day, I already knew very well that he wasn’t the sweet guy he used to be, that he’d changed, become a smug jerk I didn’t even like being around. But still, I had bought my mom’s pep talk and gone ahead with the wedding anyway. Because I’m almost thirty and if I didn’t settle for Kenny, I might never find anyone better.” Deeply ashamed, Joss fell silent.
Jace was silent, too, sitting there beside her on the bench under the drooping branches of the willow tree. Somewhere in the little park, she heard children laughing.
A child called, “Mama!”
And a mother answered, “Right here!”
“Watch me swing high!” the child commanded.
“I’m here. I’m watching….”
Jace asked, “So what changed your mind?”
She’d come this far. She might as well admit the rest. “Kenny failed to grovel. He called six times those first two days. And every time he called, it was only to say the things he said yesterday—you know, in the Lounge, when you overheard me talking to him? He self-righteously explained to me that I was being unreasonable, that I had completely humiliated him, that I had it all wrong. That there was nothing between him and Kimberly and I ought to realize there wasn’t and quit acting like I’m the one who got messed over.” She crossed her legs again. “By the end of the second day, I finally had to admit that there was no salvaging things with Kenny, that it was Over, capital O, and I was going to need to make myself a whole new life.”
“So…would you take him back now, if he wised up and was honestly sorry for cheating on you, if he got down on his knees and swore you were the only woman for him? If he promised he would never even look at another woman again, that he would do anything—anything—for one more chance with you?”
She didn’t even have to think about it. “No way. I’m through with him. Done. That ship has sailed. It’s as Over as Over gets.”
He stood. “Well, all right, then.” He held down his hand to her.
She stared at those long, tanned fingers of his, puzzled. “What?”
“I’ll take you back to the resort now.”
A certain wistfulness curled through her. She tipped her head back to look up at him. “Now you want to get rid of me. You’re disappointed in me.”
“Hell, no. I think you’re terrific. You were with that guy for years. Makes sense it took time to accept that it wasn’t going to work out. And in the end, you made the only workable decision about him—after giving him a chance to come clean and make things right. There is nothing to be disappointed about in that. But I did promise you that after we talked for a while, I would take you back up the mountain.” He still held out his hand.
She took it. Really, she could get used to holding Jace’s hand. He tucked her fingers over his arm and led the way out from under the willow tree, across the grass to Main Street, where they turned back the way they’d come, toward the car.
Twenty minutes later, he pulled into the turnaround beneath the porte cochere at the side of the resort’s clubhouse. A valet stepped up to open the door for her. She waved him off and turned to Jace behind the wheel. “I have to ask, did you study psychiatry in school?”
He grunted. “Are you kidding? Petroleum engineering, with a minor in business.”
Softly, she told him, “Thank you—for keeping after me until I told you what was bothering me. For listening.”
“Hey, what’s a best friend for?”
“I had a really good time. At that beautiful little church, at the bakery. Even sitting under that willow tree telling you things you don’t even need to know. That part wasn’t fun exactly. But it was very…therapeutic, I guess you could say.”
He nodded. “Happy to help.”
She was suddenly absolutely certain he only wanted to get rid of her now. And why wouldn’t he? She had totally blown it with her sulking and feeling sorry for herself, with her icky revelations about how she’d actually thought she might marry Kenny anyway, even if he was a cheating SOB, because he had money and could give her the life that she wanted. Her throat felt tight. She coughed to loosen it. “Ahem. Well, I’ll…see you later, then.”
“Later.”
She hooked her pink bag on her shoulder, pushed on the door and the valet appeared again to open it all the way for her. “Uh, thanks,” she said, and got out. The valet gave her a friendly smile and shut the passenger door. Joss stood there, feeling forlorn, as Jace drove away.
His Range Rover had disappeared from sight when the awful realization hit her like a smack in the face. His family was “in oil.” He drove an eighty-thousand-dollar car. The price of a pair of his fancy boots would have paid the rent on her lost apartment for a couple of months at least. True, like her, he was between jobs. But Joss Bennings being out of a job and Jason Traub quitting the oil business were two completely different things.
Jason Traub was a rich guy. A very rich guy. She would bet her whole savings account on that—her significantly reduced savings account. There had been a lot more a year ago, before she’d paid for the wedding and the reception that hadn’t happened after all. But even if she hadn’t spent all that money on her nonwedding, her total savings still wouldn’t be more than chump change to someone like Jace. She knew he had to have an inheritance and a nice, fat stock portfolio. He didn’t really have to work.
And now that she’d told him the truth about her goals, what could he think but that she was trolling for a good provider so she could buy a big house and raise a bunch of boisterous kids? He must be wondering if she’d set out to get her hooks
in him. He’d probably decided that she’d been giving him an act, pretending to hate men when she was really looking for a guy with big bucks to replace the no-good cheater she’d left at the altar.
Joss let out a small moan of misery. She liked Jace. A lot. She really did want to be his friend. She loved being his friend. And she’d been looking forward to spending more time with him before she went back to Sacramento and got to work picking up the pieces of her life.
But now she’d gone and ruined it with him. She just knew that she had. She tipped her head back and let out another moan.
“Ma’am?” asked the valet, looking worried.
She pulled herself together, pasted on a smile and shook her head. “I’m okay. Really.”
Another vehicle rolled under the porte cochere and the valet stepped forward to open the passenger door. With a heavy sigh, Joss turned for the glass doors that led into the clubhouse.
Chapter Four
In her suite, Joss tossed her purse on the table in the foyer and went straight to the bedroom, where she shucked off her shoes and fell backward across the bed. As she stared blindly at the peaked ceiling, she tried to make up her mind whether to call Jace and swear to him she wasn’t after him in any way, shape or form—or if the wiser course would be to leave bad enough alone.
And then she realized she didn’t even have his number, so the question of whether to call didn’t matter anyway.
The phone on the nightstand rang. Joss told herself not to answer it. The last thing she needed right now was another lecture from her mother or more crap from Kenny.
But then, as always, she couldn’t stand to let it ring. She reached over, picked it up and put it to her ear. “What now?”
“You’re my best friend for the whole week and I don’t have your cell number. How wrong is that?”
“Jace.” She breathed his name like a grateful prayer. Tears blurred her eyes and clutched at the back of her throat. “Hey.”
The Last Single Maverick Page 5
