Almost as much as she loved him.
Because seriously, he was much too good to look at. It wasn’t fair, now she thought about it, how really hot he was. “Excuse me,” she said carefully, “are you saying you didn’t understand the question?”
He started to push back the covers. “Joss, I—”
“Uh-uh.” She leveled a look on him that had him sinking back into the bed. “Do you want to back out? Just say so. Just answer the question.”
“No, then. Okay?”
Okay? As a matter of fact, it wasn’t. It wasn’t okay in the least. “No,” she echoed with excruciating care.
“No,” he repeated yet again. “It’s what I said.”
“No, you don’t understand? Or no, you don’t want to marry me? What are you telling me, Jace? Just do me a big favor and be straight with me about this.”
His handsome, square jaw was set. He said, with heavy emphasis, “I do want to marry you. I don’t want to back out.”
Relief flooded through her. Yeah, it was tinged with the weight of sadness and mortification and a host of other not-so-fun emotions. But still, it was something. “You mean that? You really do still want to marry me?”
Now he was the one swallowing. She watched his Adam’s apple bounce. And then he nodded. “I do. Yeah, it’s what I want. You and me. The life we planned. I still want that.” He paused. She waited. Finally, he began again, haltingly, “It’s just that, well, the whole love thing—”
She cut him off. “Stop. I don’t want to hear it, you know? I sincerely do not.”
He blew out a slow, cheek-puffing breath. “Wow. Well. Whatever you say.”
She wrapped her arms around herself in a meager attempt to give herself the comfort he couldn’t—or wouldn’t. “It was…a mistake. To even bring it up, the whole love thing. I know that. I don’t know what I was thinking. After all, I understand how you feel about it. And it’s my bad. It’s not like you didn’t set me straight right from the first, not like you didn’t make yourself perfectly clear.”
“Joss…”
She shook her head. Hard. “No, I mean it. Can we just stop talking about it? Can we just let it go?”
Was that relief she saw in those beautiful chocolate-brown eyes of his?
So what if it was? She could relate. They were both relieved—he that she was giving up the love talk, she because he claimed he still wanted to marry her.
Now her mouth tasted like sawdust. And the luxurious bedroom, aglow with golden light moments before, was all at once dingy and dark.
“Joss, you know that I care for you.”
She looked away. “Just don’t, okay? Just stop. I said I understand. And I do. There’s nothing more to say about it.”
The covers rustled as he pushed them aside again. “Damn it, Joss…”
Someone knocked on the outer door.
It was perfect timing as far as Joss was concerned. “What now?” she asked bleakly, turning to look at him again. “You think that’s your mother?”
He swung his feet to the floor. God, he was so beautiful. “I hope not,” he muttered. “I’ll get rid of her.”
“No, I’ll get it.” She tied the belt of her robe more securely.
He didn’t say anything. He was looking at her sideways, a concerned kind of look.
Well, he could take that look and shove it. She didn’t need his concern. He didn’t want to go there—and neither did she. Not anymore. They got along great and they knew what they wanted and that was enough for him.
And it would damn well be enough for her. To show him she was fine with the way things were, she sent him a big, defiant smile, after which she whirled and headed for the other room, pausing only to shut the bedroom door firmly behind her.
The knock came again as she reached the foyer. She ran her hand back through her sleep-mussed hair and peeked through the peephole.
Her heart sank. It wasn’t Jace’s mom out there in the hallway.
It was hers.
Chapter Twelve
With a low moan, Joss rested her forehead against the suite’s thick outer door. She did not want to open it. She really, really didn’t.
Shutting her eyes, she sucked in a slow breath, peeled herself off the door and fled back to the bedroom.
When she flung the door wide, she found Jace right where she’d left him, sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing nothing but a slight frown.
One look at her expression and he jumped to his feet. “What? Who is it?”
She let out a groan. “You’d better get dressed.”
“What’s going on?”
“It’s my mother.”
He dropped back to the edge of the bed. “Wait a minute. Your mother. Here at the resort?”
She nodded. As if on cue, her mother knocked for the third time, five swift, hard raps on the outer door.
Jace jumped up again and came for her. Before she could think to jerk away, he caught her face between his hands. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”
“Oh, I’m so glad one of us thinks so.” She bit back a sob. His touch felt so good. As good as ever. Was that right? Was that fair?
And then he kissed her, the lightest brushing breath of a kiss. That felt good, too. It comforted her in spite of everything. “Now you go on, let her in,” he said gently. “I’ll put some clothes on.”
She laughed, a slightly wild sound. “Great idea. Ahem. I mean, you know. That you should get dressed…” God, she was babbling. Losing it. Holding on to composure by the tiniest of threads.
“There’s nothing to worry about,” he said. “It’s good that she’s here.”
“Good?” she whispered desperately. “How can it be good?”
“Well, because it means that you two can work everything out now, all the stuff that’s been tearing you apart.”
“But I…she’s not…we can’t…” She sputtered into silence.
“It’s okay,” he said again. “Go let her in.” He took her shoulders, turned her around and gave her a gentle push.
She went. What choice did she have?
Quietly, he shut the bedroom door behind her.
And she kept walking, one foot in front of the other, across the living area, back into the foyer, right up to the outer door. She undid the chain, turned the dead bolt.
And pulled the door back. “Mom, hi.” RaeEllen had her two large black rolling suitcases, one to either side of her. She planned on a long stay apparently, “It’s, um, good to see you,” Joss said. She leaned forward and kissed her mother’s cheek. Then she stepped back so her mom could enter.
Glancing suspiciously from side to side, RaeEllen crossed the threshold, pulling one of the suitcases behind her.
Joss stepped around her and brought in the other one. She shut the door. “This is…a surprise.”
RaeEllen settled her favorite brown purse more comfortably on the shoulder of her cream-colored summer blazer. “You’re not even dressed? At this hour? It’s almost ten.”
Joss kept her smile in place. “Just leave your purse on the table there. And come on into the living area. Things have been so busy. There’s so much to do in such a short time.” She was babbling again, and she knew it. But somehow, she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “We just heard a few minutes ago that we bought the restaurant we offered on and we’re very excited that the deal went through, that our plans are—”
“A restaurant? You bought a restaurant?”
“Yes, we did. We’re so excited. And we’ve been looking for a house, and getting the invitations out, and finding a place to stay in the interim. Plus there’s all the wedding stuff—arranging for the cake and settling on the menu. It goes on and on. Today’s another big day because we’ll be moving to—”
“We?” Her mother’s pale blue eyes widened.
“Yeah. Jason, my fiancé, and me. We have to be out of the suite by noon and we’re moving temporarily to an apartment down in town. I sent you a note about that, along with a wedding i
nvitation. But of course, you didn’t get it yet. And anyway, we were both worn out with all the running around, pulling everything together, so we decided to indulge ourselves and sleep in a little. We were tired, you know? Just beat.”
RaeEllen held on to her brown bag for dear life and blinked several times in rapid succession. “He’s here, in this room, with you?”
“That’s right.” Joss reminded herself not to clench her teeth. “Jason’s in the bedroom actually. He’s getting dressed.”
“Oh. Getting dressed. Then you’re telling me he…well, I mean, that you and he…”
Joss had had enough. “Come on, Mom. Stop acting like the parson’s wife in some Jane Austen novel. Yes, not only are Jace and I getting married, we are already living together. And it’s working out great.” Well, except for the fact that I love him and he doesn’t love me….
“It’s working out great,” RaeEllen repeated in a tone that said it didn’t sound the least great to her.
“Yes, that’s what I said. We’re very happy together.”
“But you hardly know this man and only three weeks ago you were supposed to have married Kenny, who is deeply, deeply hurt by your desertion, who only wants a chance to make you happy, to—”
“Mom. Whoa. Stop.” Joss waved both her hands in front of her mother’s face. “This is kind of a loop we’re into here, Mom. Can we please stop going round and round about things we’ve already discussed and don’t seem capable of coming to any agreement on?”
Her mother’s mouth drew painfully tight. “Of course. Whatever you say.”
Joss focused on her mother’s words and tried her best to ignore the angry, disapproving tone. “Thank you. I appreciate that.” She straightened her robe, an action that, for some reason, caused her mother to gasp. Joss was trying to figure out what exactly that gasp meant when RaeEllen reached out and grabbed her hand—her left hand.
“Lovely.” Her mother sounded sincere as she studied Joss’s engagement ring.
Joss tried to tell herself that maybe there was hope for the situation after all, that her mom might actually try to make the best of things. “Oh, I know. I love it.”
RaeEllen glanced up, and delivered the zinger. “It looks real.”
That did it. Joss withdrew her hand. “I’m not kidding, Mom. I know you’ve had a long trip and I would like to be glad you’ve come, but I’ve had enough.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m not going to sit still and let you run over me. I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m a grown woman and I get to determine the direction of my own life, which you used to understand perfectly. Either you start behaving in a civil manner and treat me like an adult again, or you can just roll those suitcases right out the door and head for home.”
Her mother looked stricken. “But I drove all the way here. As you’ve already mentioned, it was a very long trip and I’m exhausted.”
“Then you’d better stop with the mean remarks, hadn’t you? Or you’ll be on the road again.”
RaeEllen assumed an injured air. “You don’t want me here? Is that what you’re telling me?”
Joss tried valiantly to form an answer to that one. But what could she say? The truth was she didn’t want her mother there. Not unless she changed her tune.
RaeEllen spoke again, more gently. “It’s only, well, I felt I should come. I felt we should…work out our differences.”
“And that’s admirable, Mom.” Warily, she eyed the two large suitcases. “So…you were thinking you would stay right through to the wedding?”
Her mother pressed her lips together and nodded sharply. “As long as it takes, yes. I have some family leave stored up.”
Joss was stuck back there with that first sentence. “As long as what takes?”
Her mother smoothed her short, fine brown hair. “I wonder, could I have a glass of water?”
Joss resisted the overwhelming desire to lay down the law. She’d already made herself more than clear. Going into it all again right this moment would only be hooking back into the loop she’d accused her mother of falling into. “Of course,” she finally said. “Come on into the living area.”
“My suitcases…”
“Just leave them here for now.” She turned to enter the main area of the suite, her mother close on her heels. “Have a seat.” She gestured at the sofa and went to the wet bar, where she filled a glass with ice and opened one of the complimentary bottles of spring water.
Jace appeared, fully dressed in nice jeans, a knit shirt and the usual high-dollar boots. He went straight to her mother. “Mrs. Bennings, hello.” He laid on the Texas charm, bowing a little at the waist as he reached across the coffee table. “How great to meet you.”
Even her sour-hearted mom couldn’t completely resist him. She gave him her hand. He cradled it between his two larger ones, and he hit her with one of those lady-killer smiles of his, the kind that could break a woman’s heart at twenty paces.
Her mom sniffed. “It’s Ms. Bennings, thank you.” Delicately, she withdrew her hand.
Joss hurried to Jace’s rescue. “But only to strangers.” Jace straightened and slid her a questioning look. Blithely, she went on, “Of course, you’ll call her RaeEllen.” She gave her mother a steely-eyed glance. “Unless you’d prefer ‘Mom’?”
“Ahem. Well.” RaeEllen nodded at Jace. “Yes. RaeEllen, of course. So nice to meet you.” Joss set the glass of ice and bottle of water in front of her. “Thank you, Jocelyn.”
Joss nodded, and dropped the bomb on poor Jace. “Mom is planning to stay until the wedding.”
Carefully, her mother poured the water over the ice. She said nothing.
Jace said, “Ah. Well, that’s great.” His smile had slipped a little.
Joss watched him, her heart twisting. She loved him. And he didn’t do love.
And now her mother was here with that strange, determined look in her hazel eyes. That couldn’t be good.
But she could deal with her mother—if only things didn’t go wrong with Jace.
He’d said he still wanted the life they had planned.
But did he really?
Had her passionate declaration changed everything for him? Was he second-guessing now, thinking about how he wasn’t really the marrying kind after all? That this was all a big mistake, the two of them? That it had happened much too fast, with her on the rebound—and maybe him, too, when you came right down to it. Because there had been that rich oilman’s daughter, Tricia. Even though he said it wasn’t love with Tricia, well, he had proposed to her. And she’d said no.
And he’d gone into something of a depression after that.
So was he maybe now seeing the future they’d been planning as another trap he needed to escape? Was he…
No.
Uh-uh.
She was not going there.
He’d said straight to her face that he still wanted to marry her. If he’d changed his mind, he could have just said so. She’d given him an opening. A really wide opening.
And he’d refused to take it.
If he wanted out, he could tell her. He was a grown man fully capable of speaking his mind.
But what if I want out now? What if I’ve decided I don’t want a marriage without love?
She turned those painful questions over in her mind, and realized that it wouldn’t be a loveless marriage. At least not on her end.
And she didn’t want to back out. Not on her life. She wanted Jace and she wanted everything he offered her—wanted her dream, just as she’d always imagined it might be. Especially now that her dream would include the most important part: the man she loved. He said he still wanted to live her dream with her.
She would have to be crazy to turn her back on that. And she wouldn’t. No way.
She let out a heavy sigh.
And realized that both Jace and her mother were staring at her—Jace kind of nervously, her mom in a measuring, calculating way.
Fine
. Let ’em stare. “Mom, there’s a second bedroom at the apartment where Jace and I will be staying until we find a house. You’re welcome to it.” She caught Jace’s eye and challenged, “Right, Jace?”
She had to give him credit. He didn’t even flinch. “Absolutely. RaeEllen, we’d be happy to have you stay with us.”
Whatever her mother’s real agenda, she had the grace to hesitate. “Really, I can get a hotel room. I don’t want to impose.”
Jace stepped right up. “It’s no imposition, RaeEllen. You’re family, after all.”
* * *
Milo Quinn’s office was only a few blocks from the Mountain Bluebell Bakery and the apartment above it, so Joss and Jason walked to their three o’clock appointment.
An hour later, they left Milo’s office with a signed contract on the Hitching Post. Clouds had gathered in the wide Montana sky when they emerged onto Pine Street. A few random drops started falling as they strolled north to Main.
Jace glanced up at the gray underbelly of the thick cloud cover. “We’d better get moving or we’re going to get wet.”
So they ran around the corner and down the block. They ducked through the bakery’s front door just as the sky opened up and the downpour began. One of Lizzie’s employees gave them a smile and a wave as they headed up the stairs to the apartment above.
She got to there first. The doorknob wouldn’t turn. She sighed. “My mom’s used to city life. She’s locked herself in.” She raised her hand to knock.
Jace caught her wrist before her knuckles connected with the door. “We have to talk.” His voice was so deep and more than a little rough.
Her heart did something unsettling inside her chest. And her skin felt all tingly and warm. Her breath snagging in her throat, she turned to him, met those dark velvet eyes that burned into hers, smelled the spicy, green, electric scent that belonged to only him….
“Talk? About what?” She was pleased that aside from a certain huskiness, her voice betrayed none of her excitement. She didn’t want to be excited by him. Not now. Not with her new—and unreturned—love so fresh and raw within her.
He looked at her steadily. “It’s not the same. You’re…distant. Cool to me.”
The Last Single Maverick Page 16
