by Jillian Neal
“Uh,” Logan froze.
“Logan…”
“Vindico sent us out. Rainer didn’t know that they’d send the court summons to you.”
“What? Wait, Rainer knew we were being sued for half of his inheritance because of me?” The haunting disbelief in her tone crushed Logan.
“Well, kind of. He was gonna tell you. He just didn’t want to upset you. He’s already talked it over with Stariff. I’m sure no one’s gonna give Stan anything.” He continued to spin the web that would ultimately ensnare his very best friend. He just didn’t know how to stop.
“He knew, and he talked to a lawyer without me?” Emily’s voice trembled.
“He was gonna tell you tonight, probably. I swear.” Logan felt his own rhythms tense and then sink rapidly.
“Logan,” she drew a shuddered breath. She was crying. Why did she always have to cry? “I need you to tell me the truth. I can tell you’re lying. Where is Rainer right now? You’re my big brother and you’ve always taken care of me. I need to know.”
“Em,” Logan swallowed, “He never meant to hurt you. He didn’t want to go. He had to.”
“Where is he?” she asked again in a pained, harrowed whisper.
“Vindico sent everyone out here to The Tantra, to spy on some of Wretchkinsides’ guys.” Logan admitted. He glanced around to make certain that no one but Ramier could hear him. The only other person in the derelict store was the shopkeeper, who was looking at a girly magazine behind the counter.
“What’s The Tantra?” She continued sobbing.
“Uh… it’s… kind of…like,” He tried to stall Rainer’s inevitable undoing.
“Logan…”
“Like, a strip club. But, Em, I swear he didn’t….”
The call ended suddenly.
So Easy to Break, So Hard to Rebuild
~ Rainer Lawson ~
Rainer’s resolve not to look up eased slightly as one of Wretchkinsides’ men began to chortle lewd remarks at Bridgette. Suddenly, he unzipped his pants and made an extremely vulgar request.
She rolled her eyes. “They are such jerks. Go to hell, Vasquez. You don’t pay enough for that!” With that, she spun and stomped back to the bar.
Rainer and Ericcson shared a nervous glance as the lights dimmed again. The room was almost bathed in blackness. The only light came from the now-lit catwalk and the spinning colored lights in the ceiling.
Wretchkinsides’ men let out more catcalls and wolf whistles as two girls climbed on poles in the center of the stage. Rainer put his head in his hands and willed this to be over quickly. He immediately began formulating what he wanted to say to Emily, as soon as he got home.
Remembering his assignment, he studied Wretchkinsides’ men. They’d had a fair amount to drink. They were all watching the pole dancers with avid interest; all except Vasquez, who was still eyeing Bridgette viciously.
As another song started playing, dancers began exiting the stage to walk around among the patrons. One of the pole dancers made her way to the table and offered a dance to any of the gentlemen surrounding Rainer.
“Sure, baby,” Tuttle drawled. He flashed a stack of bills as she gave him a naughty grin, and he scooted his chair back.
Certain he was going to be sick, Rainer ground his teeth. It was difficult to keep his eyes down when the guy across from him was getting a rather lurid lap dance.
Other dancers moved to the Interfeci table, and several of them took the girls up on their offer. Bridgette returned to see if they needed their drinks refilled.
With an uneasy glance, Rainer saw that Bridgette had noticed that Wretchkinsides’ men’s drinks were empty. She gave a dramatic eye-roll and when the dancers left their table, she went to see if they’d like refills. As she leaned to pick up Vasquez’s empty glass, he grabbed her hands and pulled her towards him.
Rainer and Garrett both started to stand as Portwood and Ericcson did the same. She struggled against Vasquez, and Rainer took quick inventory of the room.
“Where are the bouncers?” he hissed to Garrett.
“I haven’t seen any. That’s why they’re hanging out here.”
No one was going to help her. No one else was even able to see her.
Rainer whipped his head back around to Vasquez. He watched in horror as the man seated next to Vasquez flipped Bridgette’s skirt up and reached to grab her. A large, brutish man seated in the back of the booth cupped his hand and summoned.
“Shit,” Garrett leapt and sank his fist into Vasquez. He jerked Bridgette out of reach. Rainer and Ericcson summoned and halted two other men, who’d started to release furious heat from their hands towards Garrett. The glasses on the table shattered as the air filled with deflected casts.
Rainer saw Vasquez cup his hand until a pinkish-grey light formed. Rainer’s heart raced. That was a mind-altering cast. He was going to try to get Bridgette to submit to his will by taking over her thoughts.
Rainer let his training with Vindico work for him instinctually. He cupped his hand, and threw a powerful shield cast over Bridgette then he spun back. She stumbled back from the force. He concentrated hard and locked on to one of the other men’s energy and subdued him. Portwood had another one down and had pulled his handcuffs from his belt. He was summoning until the cuffs glowed a brilliant green.
Rainer reached for his phone to call for back up. Seventeen missed calls. Absolute panic seized him as he forced himself to phone Logan.
“We need your help. We just arrested five guys.”
Several minutes later, he helped load Wretchkinsides’ men into one of the black SUVs that had driven up. Vindico slid out of the driver’s seat. He was furious.
“So, you all arrested these men, yet we have virtually nothing on them, and you blew our cover, all in one afternoon?”
Rainer reeled as stunned fury washed over him.
“He summoned a mind cast! That’s illegal!”
“Yes, but he didn’t cast her. He’ll be out in a few weeks. He won’t roll over on Wretchkinsides for that!”
Suddenly the events of the past week, and all that Rainer had endured, and the seventeen missed calls from Emily, were all more than he could take. He narrowed his eyes dangerously at Vindico.
“I’m so sorry, but I thought that protecting the Non-Gifted from assholes like that was part of being in Iodex.”
Vindico looked momentarily shocked.
“Maybe I was mistaken, but I’m not going to sit by and watch someone be violated so that you can get your guy!”
Logan and Garrett stared wide-eyed at the hateful glares being exchanged between Vindico and Rainer.
Rainer spun and seated himself in the passenger side of Garrett’s Highlander and slammed the door.
As soon as the prisoners were loaded, Garrett and Logan climbed into the car with Rainer. It was a quarter to five when Garrett cranked the car. No one spoke.
Garrett’s cell rang as they drove back to Iodex. “Hey, baby,” he answered kindly. “She okay?” His tone turned concerned a moment later. “All right, I’ll tell him, but Fi, he really didn’t have a choice.” He paused again for a long drawn minute.
“Okay, call me if you want me to come out there.” He ended the call and turned to Rainer.
“Em’s going over to Fionna’s for a little while. Apparently Vindico had the officers who were delivering the summons for the lawsuit sent over to the Arena, so she got that and then couldn’t get you on the phone. Then she called Logan.”
Garrett glanced at Logan in the rear-view mirror. He looked extremely annoyed.
“I tried to tell her that it wasn’t your fault. I swear! I told her you were gonna talk to her, and she made me tell her where you were. She cried.”
Rainer’s eyes closed in infuriated defeat.
“Fi lives over in Alexandria, but I wouldn’t go over right now. She and Em are getting really close. They’re both really powerful Receivers, so let Fi try to talk to her. She said she’d either call me or t
ext you when Em’s ready to go home.”
Talk Loud, Rainer
“You, uh, want me to catch a ride with Garrett?” Logan mumbled.
Rainer knew he felt badly about what he’d told Emily, but he just couldn’t quite bring himself to forgive Logan yet.
“You mind?”
“No, and I’m really sorry. I was only trying to get her to calm down.”
“I know.” Rainer flung open the door to the Mustang. He just wanted everyone to stop speaking to him altogether. He didn’t want to hear anything. He just wanted to go back in time and not screw up everything the way he had.
He wanted to go to the arena and pick up Emily. He wanted to call her at lunch, just like he’d promised. He wanted desperately to be able to go back and keep his word. How could he have kept so much from her?
On instinct alone, Rainer cranked the car and made a rapid exit from the parking deck. He let his Mustang soothe him. The metallic thrum of the motor, the feel of the leather seats that Emily had picked out, the gearshift in his hand all offered to carry him to an easier time. He did nothing but drive.
After an hour of clocking miles that led him nowhere, Rainer pulled into the parking lot and turned off the Mustang.
He tried to determine what exactly had led him here, but it didn’t really matter. He knew he was there to talk to the wisest man he’d ever met. The one who’d been happily married for over fifty years until his wife had died suddenly a few years back.
Rainer shoved open the door to the Mustang and stepped out. He drew a deep breath and inhaled deeply of the gasoline, motor oil, car fumes, and the scent of Old Spice aftershave. The combination was somehow soothing.
“Well, look at what the cat has drug in,” Sam drawled. He studied Rainer closely.
“Hey, Sam,” he offered a forced smile.
Sam nodded and wiped his hands off on a dirty rag that he took from his coveralls.
“Your clutch sticking again, Rain man?”
He shook his head and came to stand beside Sam. He stared down into the inner workings of Sam’s GTO. The innerworkings of the car made sense. Nothing else seemed to.
“No, the Mustang’s great.”
“Uh huh.” Sam moved to the Coke machine in the shop. It was from the sixties, and only dispensed glass bottles. Sam refused to replace it with a newer model, although associates from Atlanta constantly pled with him to upgrade.
‘It’s a classic,’ he’d always inform them, ‘and I like Coke in glass bottles.’ He would add defiantly.
Sam inserted two dimes, and picked up two cold bottles of Coke. He handed one to Rainer.
“Well, something’s sticking,” he raised his eyebrows and waited on Rainer to supply the real reason for his visit.
“Just thought I’d come by and see how you were doing,” he offered morosely. “That all right?”
Sam gave a slight chuckle. “You know I love to see you, Rain man, but that ain’t why you’re here.”
By the end of the bottle of Coke, the whole sordid affair had been retold completely, including the court summons from his uncle, and not telling Emily that he’d made Logan his beneficiary.
“She’s over at one of her friend’s house. I’ve called like five times. She won’t answer. She won’t even speak to me, and let me explain.” He kicked a loosened stone in the gravel under his feet.
“Uh hmm,” Sam drawled, “That’s cuz she thinks you had your hands on another car’s bumper, and she knows you saw headlights that weren’t hers. And I s’pect she don’ really want to hear you tell her that you didn’t cuz you already pretty much hadn’t been tellin’ her the truth.”
Rainer gave a slight chuckle, though he didn’t feel much like laughing.
“And did you?” He stared Rainer in the eye.
“Which part?” He wasn’t offended by the question. There was no judgment in Sam’s tone.
“Did you have your hands somewhere’s other than on Miss Emily, Rainer?”
“No, I would never do that, Sam. No lap dances, no nothing! She’s it for me. Like I said, it was for work. I had to go.”
Sam nodded and moved back to the hood of the GTO. “See, Rainer, that’s the crazy thing about love and fear, and the whole world revolvin’ around one of those two emotions. It’s like that, see? The whole damn world is playin’ for one team or the other.”
Rainer watched Sam work, and he listened intently.
“She’s scared, Rain man.”
“I know, but I don’t know how to make her not afraid. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was trying to protect her!”
“That ain’t what she’s needin’ from you right now, Rain man.”
Rainer furrowed his brow and waited.
“I don’t think Mrs. Rain man is afraid of your hurtin’ her. I think she’s afraid she won’t be enough for you. That you might’ve seen somethin’ at that club that she ain’t got, and that you might decide you can’t live without.”
“Then you went an’ did stuff she should’a known about, Rainer, and now you sayin’ I didn’t touch nothin’ means no more than that rock you keep a kickin’. Your word ain’t no good right now.” Sam pulled the dipstick from the GTO and wiped it down with a rag.
“That’s insane.” Rainer began to pace from the GTO to the large tool chests on the wall. He wanted to combat The Tantra much more than he wanted to admit that he’d lied to Emily, even if it was by omission.
“To you, but not to her. Listen to me, Rainer,” Sam stopped working and leaned against the car. He stared at Rainer as he halted. “Nothin’ kills love like fear, and the other way around, too, I s’pose. Now I know there’s a whole crowd of women that would put up a holler at me for tellin’ you this, but let ‘em scream, cuz you need to hear me.”
“In all your tryin’ not to worry her with things, you goin’ off to places that bring nothin’ but trouble. I don’t care who sent you or why. She don’t feel safe anymore, and she don’t feel secure. That’s a big problem, and it’s yo job to make her feel it again.”
“Seems people nowadays wanna throw out the whole car, cuz the clutch sticks, but I know I taught you better than that. You know you keep all the great stuff in that car, and you just fix the clutch. You got to make Miss Emily understand that it ain’t her body that makes your eyes pop out of yo’ head, it’s her soul.”
“It’s about more than buyin’ her a Hummer and deckin’ it out to keep her safe. Keepin’ things from her ain’t the same as keepin’ her safe. It’s right the opposite, if you ask me. She gotta know you gonna keep her heart safe, Rain Man.”
“Seems to me that goin’ to see other women take they clothes off might not be the best way to go ‘bout that, but you already figured that much out.”
“You need to get Miss Emily out of the fear side of things and back to the love side, Rainer. Make her believe you, no matter how many times you gotta say it. Don’t let her fear get a holt of her, ‘less she convince herself she don’t have enough to hold you, and she decides to trade you in.”
“Listen to what she’s sayin’ even when she ain’t talkin’, and then you gotta talk over the fear.”
“Thanks, Sam.” Unable to stop himself, Rainer threw his arms around Sam’s neck. He chuckled and patted Rainer on the back in his embrace.
“Talk loud, Rain man. You gotta make her hear you. Then you gotta build back that trust, and that ain’t gonna be easy.”
“I will, Sam. I promise!” Rainer rushed back to the Mustang. To his delight, his phone chirped as his hand landed on the door handle.
Hey Rainer, it’s Fionna Styler. I kind of stole Emily’s phone from her purse and took your number while she was in the bathroom. I’ll tell her I did that. She’s kind of big on people not lying to her right now.
I think she’s probably willing to talk to you now if you want to come over. Maybe take her somewhere that she feels safe. Her rhythms are really scared. I’m worried about her.
Harrowed guilt took up residence once again in his
gut. He swallowed down the terror. He’d fight. He’d plead. He would do anything in his power to undo everything he’d done in the past week.
This was never how it was supposed to be. He was supposed to be her Shield, and all he’d done was hurt her. He didn’t want to keep things from her, and he never would again.
I’m on my way, Rainer responded before he cranked the Mustang and backed out.
He let Sam’s words of wisdom reverberate through his soul as he drove.
He called Garrett for directions, and then Rainer began to consider the past week. He’d moved her out of her home, and then spent that week vowing to hunt down and destroy a mass murderer who’d had a hand in her brother’s death.
She’d nearly been kidnapped. He’d gone to a Gifted prison just following an earthquake, and then needed her to take care of him.
He’d been exhausted and inattentive, and when it came right down to it, he’d taken her for granted.
Then he’d taken her to New York, where he’d acted like an idiotic teenager and had gotten them in the paper, sharing something that should only have been between the two of them.
To ice the bitter cake he’d baked, he hadn’t informed her about a lawsuit that threatened half of their financial stability, and then he’d gone to a strip club and not told her.
“Good job, Lawson,” he stated out loud. He’d never been so thoroughly disgusted with himself.
Hell Hath No Fury…
Rainer raced out of his car and up the steps that led to Fionna’s ’60s-style bungalow. It was only a few miles from the arena and from Sam’s, so he’d arrived in less than ten minutes.
He drew a deep breath, not certain what he was going to find, but he knocked on the door anyway.
Fionna answered a moment later. She offered Rainer a kind smile, but she appeared to have been crying as well. Receivers who were particularly close often felt the emotion of their friends so intensely that they physically shared the emotion with them. Fionna Styler was said to be the strongest Receiver of their generation. At that moment, Rainer was certain that was true.
