One day Miss Buttons asked me to stay after class. I was certain I was in some kind of trouble, but after she closed the door and took her seat, she smiled at me. At that point, I didn’t care; I was just glad to be there with her. “Tobias, I wanted to thank you for being such a good friend to Sulley. I have watched you sharing your lunch with him for weeks now. You are a kind, good boy, Tobias; don’t you ever change. This world needs people like you, and I am so proud to have you as one of my students.”
Honestly, I don’t remember how I got home that day. I am certain I did not walk because my feet were not touching the ground. That day I added one more person to my list of people whom I never wanted to disappoint. I determined to be a sharing, caring, good boy because it felt so wonderful when people about whom I cared noticed.
I did not want to disappoint Ms. Pearl or Ms. Ruby, so I worked hard, trying to catch up with the other students, but if the truth were told, it was because of Miss Buttons and Ruth Naomi Johnson that I worked so hard on my studies. I desperately wanted to impress them both.
CHAPTER 8
Letters From Home
TOBIAS SMILED AT his wife, as he mused. “I am still trying to impress this amazing woman. Other than my Great-Auntie Ruby, I don’t believe there is another woman in the whole world that can hold a candle to my Ruth.”
Ruth realized that Tobias was no longer deep in thought and turned around, “Tobias, I notice you have been going through your tin box this morning. How are you holding up?”
“It is all good, Ruth. I love thinking about my family.”
“I know,” Ruth chuckled. “Are you about ready to take a break and have some lunch?”
“I would love some lunch, Ruth, but would you mind if I took a few more minutes to read through my letters? I have not read them for several years, and I would like to have them fresh in my mind before we reach Washington.”
“Take your time, Tobias,” Ruth replied graciously. “We still have a long, long way to go today, so pushing back our lunch will just make the afternoon seem a little shorter.”
Tobias gave her a kiss on the cheek before opening his tin box and removing the letters. He always kept his letters bound together by a tattered red ribbon. They had been kept in the order in which they arrived, and they quickly told the story of those first few years in Harlem without Tobias.
Grandpa Samuel tried to write letters every few months. At first, very little had changed in Harlem. Momma Ruby was still visiting regularly, and that was good. Every letter ended with the same sentence: “Tobias, keep praying for your Momma and your Grandma.”
Tobias remembered how Miss Buttons helped him write his first letter to his grandpa because he did not want Ms. Pearl and Ms. Ruby to know that he was talking about them. He wanted his grandpa to know how much he was enjoying hearing all about Grandpa’s life as a boy and what a good storyteller his Aunt Ruby was.
As Tobias removed the first letter from its yellowed envelope, a homesick feeling overtook him. He had been with the sisters for two whole months and was really missing his grandpa. As he held this letter, every feeling he had felt all those years ago came flooding back to him. Just as he had done that day, he held up the envelope to his lips and kissed it before opening it.
October 1904
Dear Toby Boy,
I am so glad to hear that you are enjoying the Sisters. I too remember how well Sister Ruby could make a story come alive. But Toby Boy, as you hear about our time as slaves, I want to tell you something. This took me years to understand, and I hope you learn it sooner than I did.
Toby, slavery was a very bad thing, and a lot of white men were really bad and wicked men. For loads of years, I blamed all white men for what was done to my family. Toby Boy, not all whites did those bad things.
I never wanted you to hear these stories, but I was wrong; you need to know. Toby, three black boys raped your momma, but we don’t blame all black boys for what happened to Ruby Girl. So don’t blame all whites for slavery.
Always stay my beloved boy,
Love,
Grandpa Samuel
As he replaced this letter in its envelope, he thought about Grandma CeCe. She had remained a stubborn, superstitious woman. She wanted nothing to do with Brother Jubilee or his church. She loved both my grandpa and my momma, but she was not going to change. She worked hard and cared for Grandpa. For all of these reasons, no matter her shortcomings, I promised my grandpa I would always honor her memory because Grandpa loved her.
Tobias replaced the first letter and pulled out letter number two. After months of Grandpa’s enjoying short visits from Momma Ruby, I finally received this letter from Grandpa Samuel. Rubbing his hand over the second envelope addressed to him, he pondered, “This letter must have been very hard for my grandpa to write. Even all these years later, as I read it, I can feel the tension and fear.”
November 1904
To My Dear Toby Boy,
I need you and the Sisters to pray hard for your Momma Ruby. She came by this morning and looked just awful. She had been beaten hard, but she would not talk about it. She did say, “Daddy, I can’t keep coming here. The people I work for don’t like it.”
Toby Boy, Brother Jubilee and I are going to try to see what we can do for Ruby Girl.
PRAY!
Love,
Grandpa Samuel
As Tobias replaced this letter in its envelope, he remembered how long he had to wait for the next letter. Ms. Pearl had written to Grandpa and told him we were all praying, but we heard nothing. He knew his momma was messing with some bad people, but she was still his momma. He also worried about his grandpa. It was hard for his grandfather to get around in his wheelchair, and Tobias had seen one or two of the men who had waited downstairs for Momma when she came to visit.
He thought about the time Grandpa had sent him down to the deli for some items. He knew Grandpa had really only wanted him out of the apartment so he could talk to Momma Ruby alone. As he came down the last flight of stairs, he noticed a large black man leaning against the wall of the entry. His hair was waxed back, and his face showed signs of several cuts that had not healed right. He was missing several teeth, and his clothes were odd. Unlike most men in the neighborhood, his trousers were shiny light-gray, with very large cuffs. His shirt was not tucked into his waistband, but instead, hung down until it almost covered his trouser pockets. Tobias remembered seeing the butt of a knife sticking out of his pocket, and as soon as the man realized that Toby had noticed it, he unfolded his big arms and pulled his shirt down over the knife handle. His glare was menacing, so Toby made his way past him as fast as he could. As soon as he cleared the doorway, he took off running—jumping two steps at a time to get down onto the sidewalk.
Remembering that incident, Tobias knew this was the man who had brought Momma to visit. He also knew this man was probably the one who was responsible for all her bruises. Momma was never allowed to come visit us alone. Either this man or another one like him always came along.
Those men were bad, and they could care less whether or not Grandpa was in a wheelchair; they would really hurt him if he came between them and my momma. As a grown man looking back on those days, Tobias was amazed at how much he really did not know about what was going on back then. Still, at the age of seven, he had understood the danger his family was in and why his grandpa had sent him away. Those weeks of silence had been hard, but the news, when it did come, was even harder. A letter finally arrived, but this one was not from his grandpa, but from Brother Jubilee.
Tobias opened the letter which had arrived so many years ago.
December 1904
Dear Tobias,
Sorry this letter has been so long in coming, but your Grandpa did not want to write again until he had some good news. Some is not good news, but overall, it is great news.
After Samuel’s last letter to you, he and I decided we would try to get your Momma Ruby away from the bad men who had her. We knew this would be dangerous, b
ut God is for us, so who can stand against us, right?
On Ruby’s last visit, she shared that she did want to believe in Jesus and to leave her bad life. Samuel had me come to the apartment and talk with your Momma, and I believed she was sincere. I didn’t think she was just using us to get away from these bad men—she wanted to change her whole life. For this, Toby, we are all praising God. Our church has been praying for your Momma for three years.
That day, we decided it was not safe for Ruby to stay in the apartment. These men would come looking for her. We decided to have her stay in the church for several days before finding her a place to live. Toby, those bad men came anyway. They came in the middle of the night, broke in and attacked your grandma as she tried to protect your grandpa. Once they were finished with CeCe, they went after Samuel.
Tobias, your grandpa is now safe, although he spent a week in the hospital because of the beating. But Toby, I am so sorry to tell you that your Grandma CeCe did not make it. They beat her so badly, she never even woke up from the beating. The church was so worried that Ruby would give in and go back with those men, but she didn’t, Toby. Your momma is being so strong right now. We are secretly taking her to the hospital to visit her Daddy, and the women in the church are taking care of Ruby.
Tobias, most of our prayers have been answered. We are so sad about CeCe. I just pray that behind her stubbornness, she really listened to Samuel and cried out to God at the very end. We will never know, but God does.
As for Ruby, you would be so proud of her. She and your Grandpa are holding onto each other in their loss and are really talking and planning their future—because Tobias, now your Momma Ruby finally has one.
Brother Jubilee
Oh, how I wanted to get on the train and go back to Harlem that day. I wanted to see for myself what Brother Jubilee was saying, but I couldn’t. It was not safe. Ms. Pearl and Ms. Ruby held onto me for days as I cried, screamed, threw tantrums, and then finally allowed the good news to overtake the bad news. Nine-year-olds should not have to face this kind of pain, but many do—so why not me? Slowly, more letters began to arrive monthly, and they were filled with good news. Grandpa was now strong enough to write his own letters to me.
January 1905
Dear Toby Boy,
I know you heard about Grandma CeCe. I am sad and I do miss her, but God has work for me to do. Your momma is now safe, and we are living together in a new place. We are careful not to be out on the streets too much.
Your Momma took over the cleaning job that your Grandma had and is happier than I have ever seen her. While she is working late at night, Brother Jubilee stays with me until it is time for Ruby to walk home. He then leaves me alone just long enough to go get Ruby and bring her back here.
Life is good.
I sure miss my boy! Be sure to write me soon,
Grandpa
June 1905
Dear Toby Boy,
I was so proud to read your letter about passing into second year. I knew you could do it. I’m sorry to hear about your friend Sulley being held back again. Not everyone has great-aunties who can help with homework. You keep being a good friend to him at school.
Ruby Girl is doing great. You should hear her sing. She joined the church choir, and all day long around the apartment she practices her songs. Toby, who would have known your Momma was a songbird?
Brother Jubilee has been a wonderful friend to us. He is helping me teach Ruby Girl how to read and write. One of these days, she will write you a letter with her own hand.
Love,
Grandpa Samuel
P.S. Ruby Girl says hello to you.
September 1905
Dear Toby Boy,
Great news! Your Momma Ruby got baptized last Sunday.
Nothing more to say but praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Love,
Grandpa Samuel
October 1905
Dear Toby Boy,
Our captivity is finally over! Brother Jubilee read in the paper that the whole bunch that had your Momma were arrested and found guilty of murdering another girl. They are all going to prison for the rest of their lives. Your Momma is finally safe, and we can go out without fearing she might be taken.
God is good.
Love,
Grandpa Samuel
October 1905
Dear Toby Boy,
It has now been almost a year since we rescued Ruby Girl. I can hardly believe it. Now that you are eight years old, I would love to have a picture of you. I know it is expensive, but Ruby and I have been saving up. We are including five dollars in this letter. Would you please ask the Sisters to take you down and have your picture taken so we can have it to look at?
Love,
Grandpa Samuel
The next letter is so tattered from reading and rereading it that it is in danger of falling apart. Even if it did fall apart, the words are seared into my heart.
November 1905
To My Dear Boy, Tobias,
I have read all your letters to Daddy, and I am so very proud of you, Tobias. I know you never liked it when I called you Toby, so I won’t. I don’t deserve to, and I know it. Tobias, I am so sorry for not being a good mother to you. I would not blame you if you never wrote me back. I would understand. I do love you and hope—someday—we can get to know each other.
Love,
Momma Ruby
P.S. Jubilee helped me—but I wrote it.
December 1905
To My Dear Boy, Tobias,
Thank you for your beautiful letter. I feel so unworthy of your forgiveness, but Brother Jubilee says that when we are offered unearned forgiveness, that is exactly how we should feel. Tell your Aunties that I will forever be in their debt for raising my boy into such a wonderful person. I hope that someday we might be able to see each other.
Missing you,
Momma Ruby
January 1906
Dear Toby Boy,
We got your picture today. Oh, how much you have grown. Your Momma took it to church and showed it to everyone. She is so proud of you, and so am I. Your Momma is happy and doing well. I loved your last letter telling me how the Sisters are telling you all about our life on the plantation. I am glad you know. I am sorry I never told you.
Love,
Grandpa Samuel
I was surprised the day I got this next letter. I was surprised but also happy and gave my blessings.
March 1906
Dear Tobias,
Greetings from Harlem, this is Brother Jubilee.
You are only eight years old, but you are Ruby’s son. I want you to know that I have witnessed such a change in your momma over the past two years. It has been a change in her character, her heart, and her soul. The Bible teaches us that when God forgives us, it is completely. He does not hold onto our transgressions; He remembers them no more. We are told to love others just as God does.
Tobias, I believe I can love your Momma Ruby without holding her past life against her. I therefore ask you, her son, for permission to ask your mother’s hand in marriage. My plan is to move both your mother and your Grandfather Samuel into my home so I can have the privilege of caring for them both for the rest of our lives.
Tobias, do you give me your blessing?
Brother Jubilee
In July of 1906, I received a large envelope with a picture in it and the following letter. Ms. Ruby found a pretty frame, and we hung the picture above my bed where it remained until I moved out of her house years later. This letter was also added to my tin box.
July 1906
Dear Tobias,
We just received the photos of our wedding and are sending you our favorite one to celebrate your ninth birthday. You can see just how healthy your Grandpa Samuel looks sitting next to your Momma Ruby in her wedding suit. Doesn’t she look wonderful?!
We were sorry you could not come up for the wedding, but we certainly understand. We hope to hear from you soon and please know that all our lo
ve is with you.
Your Momma is doing very well. She misses you, Tobias. Your picture sits right by our bed, and she prays for you every night. I know you are doing the same for her. Forgiveness is the best gift we can give. It lightens our heart and sets our imprisoned souls free.
Love,
Brother Jubilee and Momma, and Grandpa Samuel
Tobias carefully repositioned the tattered red ribbon around the letters and placed them back into his tin box. He never tired of reading them. Those letters had kept him connected to his family during those first two years in Atlanta. They gave him hope for his momma and helped him understand why his grandpa had to stay behind.
Realizing that he had taken far longer with these keepsakes than he had intended, and needing a break from all this nostalgia, Tobias replaced the photos, put his tin box up on the suitcase shelf above his head and said to Ruth, “Are you ready for lunch? Would you like me to walk down to the lunch counter and get us something?”
“Something cold to drink would be wonderful,” Ruth responded. “I already have our lunch ready for us.”
“Of course you do. Why am I not surprised?” Tobias stood up, shook his suit trousers loose, bent down and kissed Ruth before he went to the lunch counter.
CHAPTER 9
My Loss of Innocence
AFTER LUNCH, RUTH found another lonely woman in need of company. She took several cookies out of her goodie bag as a way of introduction. No one could say no to one of Ruth’s molasses cookies.
Having read his letters and reminiscing about how he had acquired the family photos, Tobias could not help but review what had happened to him as a young boy in Atlanta, while so much was happening in Harlem. Ms. Pearl and Ms. Ruby had made sure his life was routine and peaceful, consisting of eating well, going to school, studying hard, and filling his evenings with exciting stories.
Treasure in a Tin Box (Wall of Silence Book 1) Page 7
