A look of jealousy flashed in Sabba’s eyes and though he tried to say something humorous and gay, it didn’t work.
“You know him well now.”
I agreed. “I think more kindly of him now for he trusted me enough to tell me his great secret. That must have been awful for him losing her the way he did.”
Sabba agreed. “He was a lost child after that and he still is. His father died only a year ago in some campaign in Egypt. There are many, it is the state humans always find themselves to be in, war and death. It is a sad irony.”
“There is irony in most things,” I replied.
“Tell me, has he mentioned what is expected of you—at dinners and meetings and such?”
I turned my face up defiantly. “No he has not, perhaps he won’t.”
Sabba shook his head. “Don’t put yourself up too high, Justine—your fall will only be greater.” His meaning was clear. I should not think I was better than I was. “Remember one thing, you are one of the harem and not even one of the concubines but a vampire wench ... that is all you are.”
“Yes, but so too was his mother, Sabba.”
He looked surprised by the forthrightness of my answer. “Tread carefully,” he said.
****
I had become Ali’s vampiric mistress. We saw each other constantly. I did feel a kind of power. The power a woman feels from the knowledge that she pleases an important man.
If I thought Ali wished to have me only, I was in for a surprise. For he enjoyed variety—even with me present, he liked having the twins too, they’d pleasure one another and then him and Mira and Kana too. We’d have our own orgies—the sexual play and feeding would go on for hours, many a night was spent that way.
It was too early in our relationship for me to be jealous, or at least that is what I told myself. I say this because I grew fractious.
I saw Sabba less and less but when he told me a banquet was being arranged and I would have to perform for invited heads of state, I grew sullen and argumentative which only made Sabba set me straight. “If the sultan wishes it, you must do it.”
I went to Ali, thinking he’d support me in my desire not to be involved. He did not.
“Who do you think you are? You are pleasing to me, but you are one of many. You will do as I say or face the consequences.”
Consequences, whatever did he mean?!
Ramet told me when next I saw him. “Kings are coming from several eastern countries. The sultan will use all of his power to entertain them. His coffers are nearly empty and he needs money to fill them. There are others who wait in the dessert to take his kingdom from him!”
CHAPTER 30
I have learned we are never masters of our fate. What plan the fates have for us we become aware of through time and circumstance. I used to think differently when I lived. The vampiric existence has modified all of my beliefs as it has changed my being from human to demon. I think of myself as that, how can I not?
I was hurt by the sultan’s orders. It seemed to countermand what he had said. But perhaps Sabba’s advice was right. It was not good to think too highly of myself.
It was Ramet who told me more of the approaching banquet. “You know what is expected of you. These are great and powerful kings. All Morocco, including the sultan, is in awe of them. They are to be wined and dined and entertained as they wish.”
I knew full well what they wished. I had seen it all before. Ramet guessed what I was thinking. “It won’t be that bad. If you are smart, you will ensure that you take whatever is offered to dull your senses. You have had something similar.”
He was speaking of the wine and drugs.
“I have but how are these different?”
“There are herbs that grow—most are unknown to men. They are ancient though. They were often placed in royal tombs in Egypt for the journey to the next world. When I served there, I saw it done many times.”
I asked him what the drugs were called and he rattled off their Egyptian names. Then he smiled. “Just take whatever wine is offered. It will be blood wine that is laced with these herbs. I have been working with others in the preparation. They respect my knowledge and my experience.” He looked proud.
“That is good, Ramet.”
“Whatever is expected of you, my friend—do it and do not think about it. We are their servants. We have no say in what is done to us.”
My eyes filled with tears at the truth of it. I did not have his heart—there were his concubines. I had seen them only once. However since they were veiled, I had no idea what they looked like. I did know that Ali was with them whenever he wished. At the moment, several of them were ready to go into labor. These were not the first. His children were kept in another part of the palace. I never saw them and wondered what they were like.
****
It was planned for festivities to get underway at the time of the new moon as that was considered to be a fortuitous time, perfect for cementing new relationships.
I was distracted though as the reception was approaching fast. There was much to do. It was Sabba who prepared me for the first engagement. He looked guarded and his eyes dull. He avoided gazing into mine. “I know what you think of me for not being forthright about the Sultan’s mother being vampiric, I am sorry for that. But do listen to me when I have recourse to tell you things. To prepare you as I am now.”
He went on to say new garments were going to be given to us, great robes of silk to adorn our appearance. I did not expect him to ask me a personal question then but he did. “I venture to say, please forgive me, that you have not slept with the Great One in a while...”
My eyes were my answer as I coolly regarded him.
“Yes, it is as I have thought. He is doing that to show you your position here. You are his servant as well as his lover.” When I looked away, his voice grew kinder. “Make no mistake, child, he does find you alluring he has told me so.”
I looked at him. Was it true, could I believe him?
“Still, he won’t see you until he decides to, probably after the entertainments. That is just the way he is. I have no idea what goes on in his mind.”
****
The time was fast approaching and there was much preparation. There was food and wine and garments to make ready. I did not see the sultan. Not even a glimpse nor did I see Ramet but he was busy too helping with the herbs.
At last the time came. They began to arrive, these honored guests. There were whispers and excitement within our chambers. The twins were ecstatic. They said how enjoyable it all was and how handsome the guests were. “And we will do things.” They winked. I had no doubt.
The garments we were to wear looked priceless. They were arranged for us to see, they were all of different colors and fabrics. I selected a pale green one, gauze it was, trimmed with jewels.
We began trying it all on. And as there were no mirrors for us, we told one another how we looked. The twins and Mira and Kana giggled. “Yours hides nothing!” they laughed. That phrase was repeated over and over.
At last the time came when we were summoned. The sultan’s servants appeared. They were also dressed in jeweled garb. And as they were not eunuchs they stared at us.
The twins teased them by revealing their nakedness to them. A few of them looked like they were ready to take the twins right there. But a gong sounded and a court official called out for the entertainments to be begin.
I could smell food and wine which I knew was for the human guests. Our sustenance would be served separately.
There were thrilled gasps as we appeared, gasps and shouts of delight. Some men called out for us to show ourselves. I glanced at the sultan and was surprised to find his face looking impassive.
The twins went first. They stepped into the center of the room and began disrobing one another. When they started to touch one another there were cries of delight. “More, more!”
As their lovemaking progressed, I was given something to drink. It was Ramet who gave it t
o me. He also gave it to the wenches. I began to feel the effects quickly. Everything looked blurry—even the sounds of laughter and talking merged together.
I felt myself lifted up. Later, I would learn I was carried to one of the tables where I was going to be fondled and made love to in every way possible. I didn’t wish to be—I am sure I tried to push eager hands away. After that I don’t recall anything. Not until I heard the sultan’s voice.
“Lela my love—you will be mine and mine alone now. No man shall use you again.”
The words made sense but I was still dazed. But not so dazed that I didn’t see Ali’s face gazing at me. His great dark eyes were shining with tears.
“Why are you weeping?” I asked.
Whereupon only more tears flowed.
CHAPTER 31
Thus began another chapter in my existence. Our lives—dead and undead are like chapters in a book. I have often thought that. So now my existence was going to change yet again.
Ali was a lonely young man, rich and powerful, ensconced in a magnificent palace, admired and sought by his concubines and his wenches, yet he was, nevertheless, unhappy.
I didn’t realize how much he cared for me until I saw him cry. He was sorrowful and filled with guilt that I had been used, treated as the vampire wench I was. I wondered if I was the first he felt that way about. There was little point in asking Sabba because I didn’t feel I could trust him. Ramet would not have been of any use either. His experience of love was limited. I knew I would have to see for myself how things would be now.
He told me many things, confessions about his life, his concubines and his fears. “I tell you these things so that you will come to know all there is to know about me, Lela.”
He explained he was married very young, little more than a child really. “It was an arranged marriage to please my father...my father whom I hated for destroying my mother...our relationship was troubled to say the least. It was never good but after the horror of my mother, I only wished him dead. He did as I have told you, die on a campaign.
The wedding took place before he left. She was a princess of the Ibn Behir Tribe, quite a lovely young girl. Her head was filled with nonsense though. In essence, she was like an ornament and nothing more.”
He went on to explain how Sabba had suggested the first concubines ‘to please all of his senses’ be not just sexually alluring but intelligent as well. The girls were carefully chosen. They were knowledgeable in many things women are not seen to be learned in.
“I found that quite pleasing. Discussing poetry and art, music too sometimes was most satisfying. And then—after such intellectual pursuits, I would bed them. My bride by that time was living in her own palace. She is there still with her own household. There were no children. The children I have are from my union with my concubines.”
He smiled and the expression in his eyes grew so soft, I saw all the love he had for his children. “Yes,” he said. “I do love my children. They are, for me, a reward...”
For all that he had suffered, I thought.
There was much I wished to ask him. I wanted to know if he had feelings for any other vampire wenches. He seemed able to read my thoughts. “You may ask me anything, Lela. It is best to be honest.”
I was. “Please, I am so unsure of myself, of my standing...”
He told me I would be given different quarters. “You will be moved to another chamber. It is between my own boudoir and my dressing room. It is suitable for you where you may rest in the darkness you require, my Lela. No sunlight shall penetrate your world, no danger either. That I promise. What else is there you wish to know?”
I said I wondered about his feeling toward me. He smiled. “I have been fascinated and attracted by many of your kind. You are alluring creatures. But you, Lela my own, are the first to have my heart.”
I thought he would kiss me for we were sitting fairly close to one another. He was feeling too reflective though, for he was telling me now of his mother. “The worst thing my father did was ensuring she would have no resting place. But I am certain that is so often the case under such circumstances...”
I agreed that it was. “Destroyers always seek that, Great One. For there is the fear the undead will rise up...”
“Yes,” he sighed. “I have tried to come to terms with that. I did keep something of hers ... combs and jewelry. I keep them in my chambers. Perhaps you would like to see them.”
I agreed that I would.
He showed them to me. Combs and mirrors that had long been discarded, the personal objects left behind. “The mirrors, I hid—you understand...”
This was all so sad, for I too recalled painfully my turning and how difficult it was to exist after it. I had such a strong desire to see what she was like so I asked him if there was a picture he kept of her for I felt certain he had. He agreed there was. “You know me so well! We are bonded, in a way I think?”
He opened a desk drawer and removed a little painted cameo and handed it to me. I gazed at a beautiful woman, slender and dark. “She is quite beautiful,” I said and he smiled.
“She was everything to me and more. My father was not faithful...such men aren’t. She sought lovers...he could have killed her for her affairs, but he didn’t. They didn’t bother him as much as her being a vampire. She was attacked one night, coming back from a tryst. There were vampires about, wild ones. They dwelled in the desert. Many were destroyed but not all by any means. They are cunning and hide.”
“And there are no Destroyers?”
He shook his head. “Not as far as I know. The vampires always go underground. Since my mother’s attack there have been no more, no more turnings. They have sought refuge somewhere.”
He rose to take me in his arms. We kissed and in a moment, we were in his bed, lying naked and making love. Love, not lust—for I felt so different. It was the closest I had come in my vampiric existence to feeling human love once again and that was something I had only experienced with Gascoyne!
****
I did think of him. Still, Gascoyne was gone, never to return. What we had shared was over—only the memories—remained for there could be nothing else.
As for myself, I had begun to feel passion for Ali. There would be many occasions when I’d discuss with Ramet this change in me but Ramet was not surprised.
“You must remember your love for Gascoyne will always be with you... it is not wrong to feel as you do.”
I was comforted by what he said.
“Rejoice, Justine. You are favored. The court speaks of little else. Everyone is pleased. I can tell truth from deceit, little one, and I know you have friends here.”
“Ah,” I replied. “But do I have a friend in all of them, in Sabba for example. I doubt it.”
“You must enjoy the good for it comes to our kind so rarely, but I suppose you are right, caution in the midst of joy is to be considered. It’s like a good hand of cards, yet who knows where the death card is?”
But what of the undeath card I thought. I was already thinking of ways I could persuade Ali to enter my world. Though really from the first, I doubted he would, in fact I doubted he would even consider it.
CHAPTER 32
I did wish it, though I dared not bring up the subject.
Ramet advised against it. “Who would wish for such an existence, Justine? If you love him, and I believe that you do, you should not want this for him.”
He spoke wisely and I agreed and though I did, I still thought about it!
Yet, this was a pleasant time for us. Ramet and I were treated well and I was glad. He was a trusted member of the household and I was the sultan’s mistress. Mistress, not wench.
Sabba bowed and smiled and began to look oily to me. He had taken a fancy to the twins. I often saw them go into his chambers. It was Ali who said Sabba looked dissipated. “It’s starting to show, his life of debauchery. He has never been without sin, but now—as he is aging, that proclivity for sin is all too apparent.”
I fed in private, never in anyone’s presence, not even Ramet’s, for although we were vampires, the sultan thought my standing was more than my friend’s. I did find that to be ironical. However I went along with it.
The concubines were there, keeping to themselves and seeing Ali regularly but under the most private of circumstances. That was not going to change and really, I did not expect it to. I was acclimated to this way of life—the customs and so on.
Time passed barely noticed. We don’t mark time when we are happy and I was. I even took to writing poetry. Was I the only vampire that did? I doubted it still, I was proud of my work. I’d write when Ali was with the concubines.
I’d stand on the balcony and study the moon. Most of my poems were so centered. The moon was like a watchful eye—it saw everything yet revealed nothing. It was to me like an oracle. Yet, what was there to know?
I was never aging, whereas Ali was. His hair began to grey at the temples. I said he looked more handsome, more distinguished. Though I said it I began to worry so about the future. I would be without him someday—and then what would happen? When I discussed this with Ramet he said I was selfish.
“It is understandable though, Justine. Just enjoy the time you have with him.”
I did that. Any time a troubling thought came my way, I’d dismiss it.
Court life continued—there were still occasions when the twins and the wenches were used for entertainment, but it was not as it had been.
Kana and Loret were no longer unhappy, they were dressed well and less frightened. I got to know them better than I ever had and I found I liked them.
The sultan’s children were growing up, coming of age when he told me about his heir. As soon as he did, I assured him I had no expectation of meeting him. We stared at one another and I could see he wished things were different.
“I am what I am, my lord, I cannot change.”
I took his hand in mine and kissed it. “Let us not worry about anything...let us enjoy what we have.”
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