“Oh, crap,” she muttered, not sure what she was meant to do. This had to be the most awkward situation she had ever got herself into, and there had been some whoppers in her life.
“You do not seem content. Did I not satisfy you sufficiently?” he asked. “If you still require sating, I am ready.”
She nearly laughed at that. Hands down, it had been the most incredible sex of her life, even better than with Stephen, and that had always been mind-blowing. “Consider me satisfied,” she replied a bit uncomfortably. She wasn’t going to let herself think about him being ‘ready’ for more.
“Then what is the cause of your dissatisfaction?”
Shutting her eyes, she got the feeling he’d never understand the problem. He just didn’t seem to get the fact it wasn’t in her nature to jump into bed with celestial beings the second she’d met them. Jumping into bed with a guy because she’d hit the vodka a bit hard was one thing, but this?
“Nothing. Tell me what we’ve got to do about Hannah.”
“I will have to escort you beyond the Veil. Once there we will have to locate where her soul has been hidden.”
She pulled the bedding tightly around her naked body and headed to the bathroom, saying, “I’d better get dressed then,” as she left the room.
After a quick shower, she pulled on the robe hung on the back of the bathroom door and returned to the bedroom, refusing to allow herself to look at Adlai standing by the window with not a stitch on. She opened the wardrobe to hook out jeans and a t-shirt for herself, chucking trousers and a shirt on the bed for Adlai. The clothes were Stephen’s, kept in her wardrobe for when he stayed overnight. The fact they kept clothes at each other’s places really wasn’t good. She would have to get over to Stephen’s and collect her stuff, especially if the angel had been right about Stephen meeting his Mr.. Right. Gathering some underwear from the drawer, she left the room again, telling Adlai to put on the clothes.
Despite the fact they’d spent the night doing horizontal dances, she didn’t want to dress in front of the angel. She had to concentrate on the job, which wouldn’t be possible if she thought Adlai was looking at her with nothing on. She concentrated on needing coffee. Lots of strong, black coffee.
Adlai wasn’t in the bedroom when Rowena went back in there. She found him in the kitchen, making her a mug of instant coffee.
“Okay, that’s just creepy. You’ve made it exactly right,” she said after taking a sip. The hot, bitter nuttiness slid over her tongue, focusing her thoughts a bit more.
“Because I respond to your needs, Rowena. You were thinking so much about wanting the hot drink, I was able to interpret how you prefer it.”
She thought about that for a couple of seconds. “So how far does that go?” Mother, she sounded so desperate to fuck!
“I am not sure. You are my first direct contact with a human.”
“Your first? So you’d never had sex before last night?” she said, trying not to swallow her drink the wrong way. Holy crap on a cracker, she’d popped his cherry!
“That is the case.”
“Well . . . fuck!” Rowena breathed. How the hell did a virgin angel learn to do what he’d done? He’d used his cock, fingers and tongue like he’d been at it for years. Hell, he’d done things to her no other man had before!
“Your desires, Rowena. I am supposed to give you everything you need until I have given you a child.”
She did swallow the coffee wrong that time, and coughed uncontrollably, her eyes watering. Leaning over the sink as she dribbled and her eyes ran, she briefly considered kicking him in the nuts for making her look so unattractive. Adlai stood watching her, his head tipped on one side.
“Thanks for the help,” she complained once she could breathe properly again. “I thought you said you had to give me what I needed.”
“You did not need anything from me.”
Taking a settling breath before she lost her temper with him, she asked, “So how long do I have to put up with you lurking around in my life then?”
“As I explained, I will stay with you until you are delivered of a child.”
“That’s not the way it works, mister. Birth is the starting point of responsibility, not the end. And you’ll be having a bloody long wait if that’s what you’re after.”
“That is in your hands, Rowena. If you insist I use the condoms, then I will be in your life for a long time.”
“Then learn to be a bit more human!” she snapped, annoyed he seemed to think she would accept the idea he was going to father any child she had without her having any say in it. The trouble was, she had a suspicion she might just go along with the insanity of it all, simply because he was utterly irresistible and was going to be whatever she needed. But what she needed right then was to be off the topic and dealing with the complicated issue of passing through the Veil herself, something she had never tried to do before. And she needed to ring Stephen so she could make sure he was okay after being sent off to meet the man of his dreams without any sort of real warning.
Before she could even move, Adlai was handing her the phone. That was going to take some getting used to. Really, a little less obedience to her whims and a bit of backbone would be more attractive.
As she reached a hand out, he quickly pulled the phone from her grasp.
“Okay, now you’re just being a shit,” she told him with a bit of a grin. She quickly controlled her mouth. Grinning inanely wasn’t the way to keep her distance.
“The thought was yours,” he pointed out, a smirk playing round his mouth, making him instantly even more attractive. Rowena stamped on that thought immediately, forcing herself to think about Hannah and recovering her soul.
“Better,” Adlai told her approvingly. “If you will insist on making me into someone you find more appealing, then you will have to curb your lust for me.”
Rowena rolled her eyes. “Keep up this arrogant arse act and I won’t find you appealing in the least.”
Turning her back on him, Rowena smiled to herself and got on with ringing Stephen.
“Rowena, what happened last night? Where the hell are you? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” he fired at her before she could get a word in. That was understandable under the circumstances.
“Not exactly sure. At home. Yes, and no. I wanted to make sure you’re okay. Where did you end up?”
“In a bloody nightclub. I met this guy, really hot, but I was so worried about you, Rowena, so I put him off till another night. Then I spent the rest of the night waiting for you to call and tell me you were alright. What happened after I left, or whatever the hell it was I did.”
“I don’t think you’d believe me. I’m not sure I even believe it myself.” Out of this world sex wasn’t the easiest thing to explain to anyone, let alone Stephen. He had been the source of many of her orgasms for so long, it almost felt like a betrayal.
“So what happened with Mr.. Hot-but-Weird?” Stephen asked, sounding like he was dying to hear every detail. How could he know she’d slept with Mr.. Hot-but-Weird?
“That’s the unbelievable bit. Can we do this another day? I’ve still got to get on with all this stuff with Hannah.” Rowena thought about what Adlai had said regarding Stephen and his Mr. Right, and the way her presence in Stephen‘s life had cocked things up for him once before. “Stephen, do me a favour. Get together with whoever it was you met last night. It’s important. And keep in touch. Oh, and make sure you get all my stuff there packed away out of sight until I can come and get it.”
“Rowena, what’s really going on here? That sounded distinctly like you won’t be around much anymore.”
“No, I don’t think I will be. You don’t need me screwing up your life, Stephen. I’m glad you’re okay. Bye.” She hung up quickly, biting back the urge to cry. Stephen had been such a big part of her life for the last few years, but it was time to let go so they could both get on with their lives. Stephen didn’t need her in his way, and her own life seemed like it was ab
out to get extremely complicated.
“You are right, he does not need you now. However, your life need not be complicated,” Adlai said softly, moving up close behind Rowena. She could feel the heat pouring off him, and something more than that. He no longer felt like a spirit; he felt like a human; a human with an erection that couldn’t be ignored. “Because you want me to be that way.”
“Will you stop doing that? It feels like you’re plucking the thoughts straight from my head and it’s not a nice feeling.”
“You project your needs so strongly, Rowena. It is as if I can read your thoughts. You must learn to govern your mind a little better or we will not be able to achieve anything.” Adlai whispered, his mouth right by her hair, his breath feathering over her cheek. He pushed his rigid cock into her backside.
“Then take a step back, because you’re messing with what I’m thinking being that close.”
“I cannot when you want me here, Rowena. We are stuck like this until you think of something else. I feel what you need from me.” He stroked his fingers over her shoulder, tracing down her spine. Then his hand slipped around her waist and she was pulled back against him. She groaned softly and melted into his embrace. “Please, Rowena, think of what else needs doing,” he pleaded quietly. “Release me.”
She forced her eyes shut and focused on Hannah and Bob, the father and what he was up to, finding Hannah’s soul beyond the Veil. Rowena focused her every thought on how scared she was of taking a trip to the other side.
“Good. Just a little more and I will be able to step away.”
Screwing her eyes tight, Rowena thought of her mother, who had died when Rowena was only seventeen, worn out pining for a man who’d never return to her. Now Rowena knew it was because he’d died, probably killed by a demon. But he probably wouldn’t have come back anyway, not if angels only stuck around long enough to see a baby born. And that was Rowena’s own fate, to raise a child with no help, to grow old alone, to die still wishing Adlai had been more than he was; more than he was capable of being.
He let go of her waist and took the necessary step back, but said nothing. The thoughts Rowena was having right then, if he’d opened his mouth, she would have punched him.
Taking a deep breath, Rowena turned round, wanting to shout and scream at him for not being a normal human being, for telling her he would be gone the second she was a mother. Maybe she should just get that bit over with like Adlai had seemed to think she would last night, then she could deal with Hannah and get the angel out of her life in a few months’ time. Adlai wasn’t what she needed, not at all. She needed someone who’d still be around a decade from now. She needed someone who would stick around to raise any child she might have with her. A sperm donor was no good to her. She needed someone man enough to be a father to her child.
“Let’s get over to Hannah’s. I want to talk to her grandfather,” she said tightly, draining her coffee mug and heading for the door, grabbing a jacket and her bag.
Adlai followed silently.
~* * * *~
After getting a cab to collect her car from outside Stephen’s, refusing to give in to the temptation of going in to see him, Rowena drove herself and Adlai over to Hannah’s house, wondering what on earth she was meant to do. Adlai hadn’t been too forthcoming about how he would get her beyond the Veil when she was still alive. In fact, he hadn’t said a word since they were in the kitchen. He wasn’t doing all that much of a job of being what she needed, when what she needed was info from Mr. Silent.
“I will disguise the fact you are still alive, then I will be able to carry you through the Veil,” Adlai said, finally breaking his silence.
“Oh, you’ve stopped sulking, have you?”
“Sulking? I do not understand. I have been consulting with The Presences. And you needed to think.”
“Well, that’s a new excuse,” she muttered crossly and shoved the car door open. “And here was me thinking you just had a cob on because you’ve figured out you’re incapable of giving a woman what she really wants.”
She slammed the door shut and stomped over to the front door. Then she realised Hannah wouldn’t be answering it and went round to the back garden. Bob was waiting with the back door open, worry stamped on his face. Like Adlai, he felt more solid to Rowena, more real.
“How is she?” Rowena asked him urgently.
“I don’t know. I still can’t get in her room,” he replied, wringing his hands in anguish. It was impossible to see him as the same as the angel at her side, not when he was acting so human.
“Watcher, you have the strength to get past him. Remember who you are,” Adlai entreated. “This fiction you have surrounded yourself with is nothing more than that. You are not a spirit from beyond the Veil.”
“And if you’re telling me the truth, what will it mean for my family? I had a wife, a child, a grandchild. Now I have Hannah. If I am what you say, what am I supposed to do, just give up on her?” Bob glared at the angel. “You say I am like you, but what would you do in my place?”
“Return to The Presences.”
“Then I’d rather not remember. This is my home, my family, and nothing else means more to me. Let this go. Allow Rowena to do what she must to save Hannah. I refuse to be what you say.”
“I will not stop her. I will assist her in her search, and when that is finished, I will do as The Presences direct me.”
Rowena tutted impatiently, not appreciating the reminder Adlai had designs on her womb but no intention of staying around once they‘d done what it took to get her through a pregnancy. The fact he claimed Bob was the same as him and had still been able to throw that off to stay around for his family just made that worse. She wanted to berate Adlai for not wanting to stick around to see his child grow.
She reminded herself she had a job to get done, one that was going to take all her capacity for thought, so Adlai’s intentions had to be ignored, preferably for the rest of her life. Now was not the time to address any of what the angel claimed.
“Adlai, leave the man alone and take me through the Veil,” she told the angel, her tone decidedly grumpy.
The angel bowed his head for a moment, frowning. “Of course.”
~* * * *~
Rowena took a settling breath and prepared herself for the sensation of being squeezed thinner than sewing thread again, hoping this time it wouldn’t make her throw up, as that would be a bit of a give-away that she wasn’t quite as dead as she should be to be on the other side. The spirits of the deceased weren’t prone to vomiting.
“Ready, Rowena?” Adlai asked, wrapping his arms around her.
“Absolutely not, but that’s not going to stop me,” she replied. Glancing over at Bob, she nodded quickly and shut her eyes, praying to the Great Mother for the strength to face what awaited her in the beyond.
“Focus on me,” Adlai whispered and the squeezing came.
Trying to do as he said, yet also trying not to let herself focus on the wrong aspects of the angel, Rowena concentrated on listening for Adlai’s breaths. They were barely perceptible, almost nonexistent, so she had to really focus her attention to pick them up. The rise and fall of his chest hardly registered against her breasts.
Before she got side tracked by that thought, she switched to listening for the air moving in and out of him.
“We are here,” he told her.
Rowena opened her eyes to get her first glimpse of what the afterlife contained, only to be disappointed by how normal everything was. They still appeared to be standing in Hannah’s kitchen on a sunny morning. But Bob was nowhere in sight.
“Wow. This is so underwhelming,” she commented, looking around her.
“What were you expecting?”
“Something . . . else.”
“We have come through the Veil, not changed locations. This side is an exact copy of the living realm, Rowena. But it is inhabited by those who have stayed here. Those who believe in reincarnation have their souls returned to fle
sh for rebirth.”
Rowena processed that for a second, then asked, “So, if there’s souls who stay here, how is there enough souls for all the people who are alive now when the world’s population is increasing all the time?”
“The existing souls get less time here between lives,” Adlai answered. “Rowena, there is not time for this. We have to find where Hannah’s soul is being kept. A body cannot live forever without the will of a soul creating the force which keeps it functioning.”
“So where do we have to go?”
“To the last place her soul is known to have been: her bedroom.”
Leaving the Veil kitchen behind Adlai, Rowena followed him through the familiar house, noticing it didn’t feel the same as on the living realm side. The feeling was that of a distinct lack of life, which made sense. As they went up the stairs, Rowena began to feel the lurking evil of the father. But she didn’t think he was on death’s side of the Veil at the moment. Hopefully, he was too busy in the living realm so they could get on undisturbed.
“We must examine the room for indicators of what he is. That may give us clues to his identity.”
“Just call me Nancy Drew. You know, I have done this sort of investigation before, and there’s this little thing called the internet in the living realm that makes that a damn sight easier.”
Adlai looked at her with just the slightest hint of exasperation on his face. “I have already explained this side is an exact copy, Rowena. There is a version of the internet here too. The information contained on it is that relevant to the dead realm. But first we need to examine the point at which the evil broke through. His first manifestation was in Hannah’s bedroom, so that is where we will begin.”
“Now you’re sounding like every other patronizing man I’ve ever met.”
Pushing open the bedroom door, Rowena stepped inside, tuning herself to the Veil, feeling the wrongness of being on the opposite side of it. This wasn’t her place and she knew it. She wondered briefly if this was how a deceased spirit felt in the living realm. It would certainly explain why they were always so relieved to be sent on their way.
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