Hearts Surrender

by Marianne Evans

  “Yeah. Just a little. The secret is making it creamy, and using enough eggs.”

  Amy poured, and then Kiara mixed.

  “You were saying?”

  Amy leaned on her elbows, watching the motion of the spoon in the bowl instead of meeting Kiara’s eyes. Kiara didn't know much about young adults, but the body language spoke loud and clear. Amy wanted to confess but wasn't sure what to admit, so she diverted parts of herself—like a gaze that would reveal too much.

  “It's just that there's this other guy. Mark Samuels. He's kind of, like, spectacular, Kiara.” She grinned. “The type of guy I bet you'd have gone for big time back in high school. He's so handsome, and funny, and he's a total jock—captain of the basketball team. He's awesome. Everybody wants to be around him, and, well, he likes me. I even think he's going to ask me to Homecoming.”

  Dreamy preoccupation left Amy neglecting Kiara’s reaction. Thank God. Amy’s words convicted Kiara in the worst way. Amy’s ideas, and ideals, were carbon copies of Kiara—once upon a time—until Woodland, and Ken’s presence in her life. In an effort to find conformity, acceptance and, yes, pleasure, Kiara knew she had gone shallow in spots, and this conversation with Amy served to amplify that fact.

  So Kiara continued the process of transforming. “Amy, if Tyler treats you well, and he cares about you, and you like him, why wait around for a different guy just because he's popular, or a handsome jock? You've got so much to offer, and to match up with someone who recognizes how special you are, is an amazing blessing.”

  Kiara turned to put a cover on top of the potato salad then walked to the fridge to store it.

  “Like you and Pastor Ken?” Dishware bobbled, but Kiara executed a fast recovery, trembling as she safely shelved the salad then turned back around.

  There was a deliberate watchful manner to Amy's posture, and then she said, “I'm sorry. I don't mean to be nosy or anything, it's just that I figured since I'm confessing to you, you might want to do the same.”

  “Pastor Ken?” The words were nothing but a stall maneuver. She didn't know how to react, or what to say to this insightful, keen-eyed young lady.

  Amy elaborated. “Last night. The trees.”

  Kiara’s heart lurched. “Yeah.”

  “I had to go to the bathroom, and the night was so pretty. There were billions of stars. I wanted to go see the lake. I started down the path through the woods, and I, well, I'm sorry, but I saw you and Pastor Ken.”

  Kiara didn’t know what to say.

  “Kissing,” Amy clarified.

  “Oh.”

  They eyed one another, mutually unsure how to proceed. Kiara felt trapped by the shared knowledge of an event that she had hoped would remain private.

  “You really like him,” Amy continued. “I could tell that before I saw what I did.”

  “Amy, I need to ask you, please, to be discreet about what you saw. It was just a kiss, and it was completely innocent, so I don't want gossip to build, not around Pastor Ken. OK? Can I trust you?”

  Her expression turned instantly affronted. “I wouldn't hurt you guys. I didn't tell anyone, Kiara. And I won't. I promise. I really like you both.”

  Kiara crossed through the kitchen and sat down on the stool next to Amy’s. Amy flipped her hair over her shoulder and fingered the spoon she still held, studying it. Kiara settled her hand over Amy’s to still the nervous fidgeting.

  Amy’s features went soft. “I went back to bed and you came in a few minutes later. I could tell by your breathing that you couldn't get to sleep right away. Truth is? I envy you finding that kind of a moment. It seemed so perfect, and wonderful.”

  “Life isn't ever idyllic, OK? Understand that Ken misses his wife very, very much. And, in truth, I don't know that I'm the best person to fill that kind of a role in his life.”

  “Kiara?” she paused. “You're awesome. How can you doubt that? Like, ever?”

  Quite easily, she wanted to say, but Amy’s plaintive, emphatic decree softened Kiara’s heart and her determination to turn away from the onslaught of emotion Ken stirred.

  The screen door of the mess hall squeaked open, and the guys stormed in, laughing boisterously, colliding with one another on purpose, and preparing to toss a football across the kitchen area, until...

  “Guys—food. Don't mess around the food.”

  Ken entered the hall and herded the gang to a seating area where they were scheduled to reconfirm the delegation of table set up and cleaning assignments for the following day. Kiara spared him a grateful look for his intervention, and he gave her an understanding nod. Kiara tucked a piece of aluminum foil across the top of a tray full of fruit selections she had cleaned and arranged just before her conversation with Amy had begun.

  Understanding the need for their interlude to conclude, Amy left the stool and stretched, making a happy sound as she sifted her fingers through her hair. “I call shower!” she sang.

  Kiara launched into action; nightmares that featured icy jets of water danced through her head. She gave her newfound confidante a mock glower and literally jogged toward the exit. “Think again, Miss Thing. I'm pulling rank. I crave hot water. For five measly seconds I need hot water! I'll be out in a flash. You can even time me.”

  “Kiara!” Amy bellowed, chasing after her at full-bore. “No fair!”

  The sound of Ken’s laughter tickled the skin along the back of Kiara’s neck, and danced against her senses as she and Amy charged from the mess hall.

  Hearts Surrender: Woodland Series

  13

  The mission trip didn’t conclude with a big-reveal style television moment; however, the community reactions, the humble, overwhelming gratitude, remained just as powerful, and just as touching to Kiara.

  A farewell breakfast concluded the agenda in Pennsylvania. Afterwards, no sooner did a round of hugs from the Kidwell family end, than they started all over again. Everyone seemed reluctant to part. A new circle of love began with each communion; the Kidwell’s happiness turned into a blanket that wrapped around the entire mission team just as tight and warm as their arms. In particular, Casey Kidwell’s voice quavered with emotion that laced her repeated words of thanks and praise, not just to the workers, but to the God who had brought everyone together.

  On departure, a quiet, somewhat somber mindset colored Kiara’s world. The Woodland team began its return trip to Michigan with everyone tired, quiet, and introspective. Still overcome by the outpouring, the teen volunteers spent a good portion of the drive home in what she felt sure was a prayerful, thoughtful silence.

  Attempting subtlety, she glanced over at Ken. One hand rested on the steering wheel, the other rested on the divider between them. Kiara was sorely tempted by the image of strong, perfectly muscled forearms lightly dusted by hair that she now knew by touch was as soft as satin. She longed to reach out, to touch him and reconnect. Instead, she held back. Discretion kept her in place, but yearning remained a persistent ting that struck against her heightened nerve endings.

  One by one, Ken dropped off their travel companions. When they reached Kiara’s apartment, he parked the van, turning to her. They were alone now, confined within the intimate space of the vehicle, surrounded by warmth, dim light and the vibrating purr of the engine.

  “I miss you already,” he said.

  The heartfelt words emboldened her to take the initiative and move forward. She touched his face, her fingertips memorizing each subtle curve, dip and plane. She glided her hand against his neck and drew him close, seeking to indulge a need which had consumed her from the start of the voyage home. Understanding at once, he wrapped an arm around her and she sank into a kiss so sweet, so potent, she went pliant against him.

  “I know how you feel. Will we see each other soon? When we…I mean…what will happen…?” Kiara couldn’t meet the power of his eyes when she felt such uncertainty. She didn’t want to see anything within their depths that might warn of hesitance, or worse yet, doubt. “I wanted—and waited
for—this moment for the entire trip.”

  Even in the darkness, his smile could be discerned. “Me, too. And it was well worth the wait.”

  Kiara looked up at him shyly, but ventured forth into trickier territory. “Please know that I don’t want to make anything awkward for you or uncomfortable at Woodland.”

  “Kiara, it’s fine. Let’s just take it step-by-step as far as revealing ourselves goes. There’s no reason to think people won’t be thrilled for us.”

  “Day by day.”

  He nodded. “Day by day.”

  She paused, burdened by the secret she knew she needed to share—especially given this conversation. “I have to tell you—”

  “What?”

  Kiara paused again. “Amy saw us.”

  “The kiss. In the woods.”

  She nodded. “Remember that branch that snapped and popped?”

  Ken ducked his head in a gesture both endearing and boyish. “I remember.” Then his gaze returned to hers, full of heated intensity. “In fact, I remember everything about that moment, angel. Everything.”

  “You’re not worried.”

  “Not a bit. First, I think Amy’ll keep quiet. She looks up to you and wouldn’t hurt you.”

  “Or you,” Kiara assured further.

  “Come here.”

  He didn’t wait for her to comply. Instead, Ken drew her snug against his hard, warm chest. With restrained hunger, his mouth claimed hers and she gave herself over to a moment of loving joy. She trusted him completely, so she tucked her head into the crook of his shoulder, cradled safe and perfect into a spot of his body and soul that felt like it had been designed for her by God.

  Instead of an abrupt, jarring break, Ken ended their connection by soothing degrees. Kiara’s heart raced as his lips moved from her mouth to glide smoothly against both cheeks, then to trail against her neck until at last they shared one last, lingering kiss.

  With typical, thoughtful chivalry, he hauled her suitcase out of the rear storage area of the van then carried it into the entryway of her apartment. He turned to say goodbye. Before leaving, though, he enfolded her in a hug so snug and eloquent Kiara wanted to sink into the sensation for good.

  “Thank you for being the face of Christ to the Kidwells’, Kiara. In word and in deed. Your commitment made a huge difference in their lives.” He traced a lone fingertip against the underside of her chin, using the subtle gesture to lift her gaze to his. “I’ll see you at services tomorrow.”

  She nodded. Along came an impulse she couldn’t possibly ignore. She lifted her hand and allowed her touch to linger against his cheek, then his strong, square jaw. A silence lingered between them before she concluded strongly, “I’ll see you then.”

  ****

  “Hey! Welcome back, stranger! I missed you!”

  “Me, too, Dav! I looked for you at church yesterday.”

  Kiara hugged her best friend tight. Daveny, meanwhile, all but thrust her through the doorway of her office and into the chair in front of her desk. Kiara was starting to actually harbor a fear of that hideously innocent-looking chair.

  “I know, right? Jeffrey and Collin are both under the weather. I had to pull nursing duty, times two, and I’m awfully afraid I’m on borrowed health time.” They shared a grin. “So! Tell me all about it!”

  Kiara snorted. “Not until I decompress. I swear, teenagers have more energy and stamina, and exist on less sleep, than any living organism I know of!”

  Daveny chuckled. “When did you get in?”

  “Saturday night. I literally dumped my suitcase in the laundry room of my apartment, still stuffed with grimy, smelly clothes, then I showered—in hot water, praise God—for almost a half hour before collapsing into bed. I didn't wake up until the alarm rang. I rolled into church, on time—will miracles never cease—and then returned home for another lengthy sleep session that ended with me waking up just in time to get to work. How’s that for a hero’s return home?”

  Daveny laughed with what Kiara felt was just a bit too much glee. “I take it you’re exhausted?”

  “Times ten, yes, but in the best way. It was awesome, Dav. I can’t get over how much a week of our time helped these people—and gave them a new lease on life. To see their faces, to see the hope our work left behind, makes every ache and every lost hour of rest so worth it.”

  Let that be enough, Kiara thought in a rush. She even started to stand, knowing full well that a bevy of work awaited. Perfect excuse to retreat—er—leave.

  Please, oh, please, don't ask about Ken, she pled in silence. I'm so drained and vulnerable right now I have no defenses left against what I feel. Don't ask about Ken. Don't ask about Ken.

  “And how did my favorite pastor hold up?”

  Dang. She asked. And just hearing his name, just thinking about him, betrayed Kiara to her best friend. In an instant, she knew Daveny registered her reaction—the flight of heat that slid smooth and fast up her neck, and cheeks. Kiara diverted her softened eyes, knowing evasion was in vain.

  As expected, Daveny wasted no time calling her out, either. Figured. Kiara had done the same thing to Daveny a time or two during the course of their friendship—especially when Daveny fell hard, and irrevocably, for Collin Edwards.

  “Are you going to sit back down, or do I need to get the restraints?”

  Kiara glared. Daveny shrugged. Then, she even grinned.

  Relenting, Daveny leaned forward, ignoring the photos and layout plans covering her desk. “Consider this a ‘me returning the favor’ moment. After all, you’ve done the same for me, now haven’t you?”

  Kiara sank into the chair and sighed. Every bit of bravado evaporated from her blood stream.

  “I’m in trouble.”

  “Honey? I figured that one out solo. Talk to me.”

  Where to start? What to say? At length, Kiara figured the truth might serve her well.

  “OK. You want flat out? I’ll give you flat out. Daveny, no man has ever impacted my waking thoughts, my dreams. No man has ever forced me to look so long, and so hard, at who I am, and who I want to become. No man’s touch has ever worked me over like this. You know me. I can take or leave an attractive man, and I’ve done both on more occasions that I’d care to admit anymore. Well this isn’t casual. This isn’t something frivolous, or something to fill time. This is real. This is leagues different from anything I’ve ever felt before, and it’s miles away from my comfort zone. He fills a hunger I didn’t even know I had.”

  The words spilled free. She couldn’t stop them. Didn’t want to any longer. Kiara lost the will to fight. Meanwhile, Daveny listened; she nodded, seeming to know exactly what Kiara meant.

  “He fills your spirit,” Daveny said at last. “Ken brings you close to himself, and close to a God you’re beginning to relate to on a much more personal level, Kiara. He’s helping you discover the very best of yourself. That’s a beautiful thing. Embrace it.”

  “Until he leaves me, or realizes our two-plus-two doesn’t exactly make four when it comes to the two of us becoming a couple.”

  Daveny reared back. “What on earth do you mean by that?”

  “Oh, come on. Do the math! When the equation of Kiara plus Ken patterns down to its conclusion, I just don’t see a way for a man like him, and a woman like me, to make a relationship work.” Daveny seemed about to speak up, but Kiara shook her head in a silent request for Daveny to hear her out. “I’m way too different from him. Most of all, I’m not Barb. I could never fill her role. She was tender and soft—a born nurturer. I’m the sassy, playful modernista.”

  Daveny studied her for a long, hard moment. Seemed a perfect point in the conversation for Kiara to execute a swift change of subject. “Anyway, enough of all that. Tell me about Sir Jeffrey. How’s my baby boy been, other than recovering from a bug?”

  That did the trick. In an instant Daveny turned completely maternal—all happy, proud and glowing. Vicariously Kiara shared her joy. “Oh, he’s up to his usual tricks
—sleeping, eating, and cooing. C’mere. Let me show you the latest pictures.”

  Truly eager to catch up, she stood behind Daveny’s shoulder and viewed Jeffrey’s latest portfolio. One image in particular caught Kiara’s attention. The picture was beautifully lit and framed. In it, Daveny and Collin held Jeffrey between them in a gesture both loving and protective. “You’re so blessed. What a beautiful family.”

  “Tired, but blessed, yes.” She sidled Kiara a look. “Which reminds me. Will you be seeing Ken in the next few days?”

  “Not sure. Why?”

  “Oh, nothing. No big deal.”

  Kiara gave her shoulder a nudge. “C’mon. What’s up?”

  “Well, there’s prep material Collin wanted to deliver to him before the next Parish Council meeting. I’d love to keep close to home these days, at least until everyone is feeling better and I’m certain I’ve dodged the flu bullet. I only thought if you might be seeing him…”

  “Stop being silly. I’d be happy to deliver it for you. I’ll drop it by the church. No problem.”

  Oh, heavens, Kiara thought in a prompt back-pedal. I leaped at that opportunity now didn’t I? Which was exactly why Daveny had floated the idea. Her knowing grin confirmed Kiara’s assumption. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. Really, it’s no biggie.” Acting casual, Kiara took possession of the large white envelope Daveny offered.

  “Thanks, Kiara. I really appreciate it. Tell Ken I’ll see him Sunday—good Lord willing.”

  Hearts Surrender: Woodland Series

  14

  Day one back on the job edged toward a close.

  Ken sat across from Maggie Voorhees at a small conference table tucked into the far corner of his office. After straightening the pages of the most current edition of the budget and tucking them away inside a folder, Maggie leaned back in her chair. She struck Ken as being restless, tapping her pen on top of the legal pad upon which she had prioritized action items for the coming week.