by Laura Clark
And then, there is Devon and a few other guys that I don't really know very well. They are just staying huddled in their own corner on the far patio by the pool. Trevor and I are lounging on the sectional with our feet propped up on the table. We are sitting close to each other, but are not really talking. His well-toned, athletic legs are only inches from mine, which is making my heart hammer uncontrollably. He smells really good, too. How is it that certain guys know exactly what kind of scent to wear in order to drive me crazy?
"So, when did you get your braces taken off?" Trevor asks me in an attempt to break the silence.
I look up at him curiously. His question throws me off.
"About two and a half years ago. Geeze, Trevor. It's not like I would have ever stepped one foot into high school with those god-awful things on."
I'm not even exaggerating. If the orthodontist would have told me I needed one more year, I think I would have said, "Screw it" and would just live with my crooked teeth. I hated those damned things.
"They weren't so bad. I mean you kind of made them look . . . cute."
I look at him curiously.
"I mean don't get me wrong, I like you better without them, but I guess you could sort of get away with it. More than other girls, anyway."
I know I must be imagining this, because there is no way Trevor's golden brown cheeks are flushing pink right now. Wait, did he just say I was cute back in junior high? Nobody thought I was cute back then. Awkward? Sure. Skinny? Absolutely. Frumpy? Maybe. Although, I was in no way, shape, or form, cute.
"So, how long are you guys in town?" I attempt to change the subject because I'm not sure how to respond to his confession. Plus, I will do just about anything to put out this fire that is pulsing through my body.
"We just moved back. My dad's job transferred him back here when they completed the project they were working on. We are looking for a house right now. The idea is to get settled somewhere before Sasha and I start school in the fall."
I was definitely not expecting him to say that.
"Where is Sasha?" I ask. I had completely forgotten about his little sister.
"She had a softball tournament this weekend. She is staying with my aunt in Philadelphia for the rest of the summer. That way, she can finish out the season with her team and friends."
"That's cool. I didn't realize she played softball."
"Yeah. She is even the starting pitcher. She plays for this elite team where they only take the area's best players in her age range. My parents didn't want her to have to take a year off just because we were moving. If she keeps playing well, she should have no problem landing a scholarship when she graduates," he explains.
"What about you? Wasn't it hard for you to leave your friends behind? I mean, I can't imagine starting my senior year in an all new school where I don't know anyone."
Trevor's brows furrow slightly, but then he shrugs as if it isn't a big deal. "What are you gonna do? It is what it is. Besides, I won't be a stranger to everyone at my new school. I mean I know you and now, Avery," he says while nodding his head in her direction. "Hopefully, I'll meet some other people tonight and won't end up a total loser come this fall. That's why my parents insisted I come tonight." His dimples are pulled in tightly as he gazes at me thoughtfully.
Why does the idea of having Trevor at my school both excite me and kind of irritate me?
"So, how do you know you will be at Westbrook High? I thought you said your parents are still looking for a house, right?" I ask him casually as I adjust the hem of my dress so it is covering more of my legs.
"Your parents convinced them that the Brookville School District is the best. I think Mom and Dad like the area, too. So, this is where we are looking."
Once again, I think about the idea of us going to school together. For some reason, I can't seem to really wrap my head around the idea.
"Now, which one of those guys is Devon?" he asks while leaning in so close to my ear that I feel like I am losing all the feeling in my shoulder and arm.
Trevor's light cologne smells so good, I have to close my eyes and take a deep breath. I'm not sure why, but his closeness makes me shiver in a good way, and this confuses the hell out of me. Shouldn't I be thinking about Devon right now? Why hasn't he even bothered to talk to me tonight? I'm starting to doubt that he really likes me.
"Trevor, what difference does it make? I doubt he's all that into me. I mean he hasn't even said two words to me all night." I pause a moment wondering whether or not I should point him out.
Trevor looks at me in a way that convinces me he won't stop nagging me until I tell him.
"He's over there wearing the light blue polo," I say reluctantly, while discreetly nodding my head in his direction.
Trevor casually glances over there. "That's the guy you want to hook up with?" Trevor seems to be amused by this revelation, as if I am only toying with him. Once again, he is starting to annoy me, which is good because that weird feeling I had before seems to be dissolving. I can handle being annoyed by Trevor. It's the other feelings that I am not so sure about.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask while elbowing him lightly in the side.
"I don't know. I just figured he would look a little more . . . I don't know, just different, I guess. So, if you are so into him, why don't you go over and talk to him?" He crosses his arms over his chest in a challenging way, and stares almost through me with those surreal, emerald eyes.
"That's just it. I don't think he is into me. I mean Avery said so, but if he really is, don't you think he'd be over here right now trying to talk to me?"
He shrugs, his face half smirking. "Maybe he's just shy? I'm pretty sure he's into you. He'd be a complete idiot not to be." Trevor's eyes slowly wander down my shoulders to the neckline of my dress and then down to my crossed legs before he quickly looks away. He is trying to hide his flushed face from me, which makes me shift uncomfortably.
Was he just checking me out? What is with this dress? First Sam and now Trevor? Why is it working on them, but not the one guy it was supposed to impress tonight?
"Maybe he thinks you are here with me." He says this in a joking way, as a big, almost proud smile stretches across his gorgeous face.
I look around and realize that it does kind of look like Trevor and I might be more than just friends. After all, everyone else is spread out in clusters of three or more people, while we sit together alone, rather comfortably, on this big sectional.
"You're right. I'm probably sending him the wrong message by hanging out over here with just you."
I can't be sure, but I almost catch a glimpse of disappointment in his eyes when I say this. I try to push that thought out of my mind as I stand up, and make my way over to Avery. He doesn't follow me, but I can't help but wonder what he is thinking about now. What is it about this guy that is drawing me to him? I resist the urge to turn around and look back at Trevor, but I'm almost certain he is watching me. I can just feel it.
"Soooo?" Avery nudges me with her hip.
"So, what?" I ask, pretending not to notice her teasing tone.
"Have you talked to Devon yet?" she asks while flashing me one of her cheesy smiles. I swear she can be so obvious. It makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide.
"He didn't even say hi. I got a nod. That's it. Maybe he changed his mind."
I look back over my shoulder by the pool and notice Devon looking our way. He smiles when our eyes meet, but the butterflies lie dormant. There are no flutters, no tingles, and there is no electricity pulsing inside me. In fact, there is no movement of any kind. I wonder if he will come talk to me now that I'm not tied up with Trevor.
"What are you waiting for, Laila? Go talk to him. He's not going to bite." Avery is shoving me towards the pool.
I decide this is the perfect time to down the rest of my drink. I could definitely use some liquid courage right about now. I wipe the drips from the corners of my mouth, and set my empty bottle on the side table, before
I make my way over there.
Devon stands up to offer me his chair right away, which makes my heart skip a little. That is definitely some movement. This is a good sign. There is still hope. Mark and a few other guys say, "Hi," but they quickly disappear after I sit down.
"This is a pretty nice setup you have here, Laila. Your parents are actually home?" He is looking over at the pool as he says this.
"Yeah. They have some friends over, but they spend most of the time hanging out on the deck or inside. My older brother Kyle used to have parties with them here all the time when he was in high school. It kind of works out nicely because the party doesn't get out of hand since they are here, but everyone still has a good time," I say nervously. I wipe my sweaty hands on the seat cushion, trying my best to calm my nerves. Why do I get so stupid around boys?
"That's cool. I could never have a party like this with my parents home. So, are you enjoying your summer so far?" He takes a sip of his drink while he waits for me to answer.
"Yeah. I know we've only been out for a week, but it's been pretty nice. How about you?" I ask.
"Not too bad, although I've been working at my grandpa's farm pretty much every day this week. It's hard work, but it's nice to have a break from school. Plus, I'm going to make some good money this summer. I'm saving up so I can buy a jeep."
"That kind of sucks. I mean the work, but at least you have something you can work towards." He nods and he starts chugging his drink as we try to figure out what else to talk about.
"Well, at least it wasn't as hot today." I'm trying to keep the conversation flowing, but it kind of feels forced. It was so much more natural with Trevor. In fact, I am amazed by how easy conversation with him is. I don't even have to think about what to say. I glance back over at the sectional, but he is gone.
"Even when it’s hot, it's not so bad. I mean, the work is hard, but the pay is really good." He takes a deep breath, as if he is not really interested in talking about his job at the farm anymore.
I bite my lip, trying to think of something else to say.
"So, you look . . . really nice. I like that dress. It um . . . brings out the color in your eyes."
I don't know why this embarrasses me to hear him say this. Maybe it's because he isn't looking at my eyes when he says it. In fact, I don't think he has looked at my eyes once since I came over here.
"Thanks. You look nice, too." I toss it out there quickly and find myself immediately regretting it. He looks down at my shaking hands, which only adds to the lingering awkwardness. I had hoped he wouldn't notice how nervous I am.
"Can I get you a drink? We have beer and wine coolers." He stands up and looks over at the cooler.
Relieved that he was only noticing the fact that I was without a drink, I sigh and force myself to smile. "Sure. I'll have a wine cooler. Thanks, Devon," I say trying not to sound too nervous.
When Devon slips away, I realize that my stomach is not doing summersaults with him the way it was before when I was talking to Sam. Even Trevor was making me feel certain things that I don't completely understand. I wonder if I really am into Devon like I had originally thought. This is the first time I've been around him outside of school. Maybe, I'm just distracted with Sam and Trevor being here.
I feel warm strong hands on my shoulders, massaging me. The sensation his touch elicits is nothing short of exhilarating. Sam leans in close to my ear and almost whispers to me, "Relax, Laila. You need to loosen up. Your muscles are so tight."
He continues rubbing my shoulders, making my insides erupt. If only he knew just how loose he makes me feel inside. I know it sounds like a cliché, but it really is as if fireworks are going off in every direction inside of me right now.
"So, how is it going? With your man, I mean." The moment his fingers leave my bare shoulders, I feel a sense of loss. He lies down on the lounge chair that Devon was sitting on before, and tucks his arms behind his head. He has kind of a stupid grin on his face as he waits for me to answer.
"I'm not really sure." How do I tell Sam that Devon isn't doing it for me and it's probably entirely his fault? Every time Sam touches me, my whole body explodes with sensations I don't understand.
"Oh yeah? Well, don't rush into anything if you aren't sure. You deserve to be with a guy that makes you feel special." Sam is staring at me in a way that makes me want to run my hands through his wavy, sandy-blond hair, and pull him to my lips. Where did that come from?
"Here you go, Laila." I am almost disappointed to hear Devon's shaky voice. He hands me my cooler and looks around for a place to sit. Sam makes no attempt to move, though.
I scoot over on the chaise lounge chair and pat the cushion next to me. "You can sit here," I say while studying Sam's reaction. I catch a brief glimpse of something that could be jealousy in Sam's eyes, but it disappears so quickly that I wonder if I had just imagined it. Why would Sam be jealous of Devon?
This ought to be interesting. If Devon can't make me forget about Sam when he is sitting this close to me, I will know that my so-called crush has fizzled. Devon hesitates for a second, but then he sits down. His knee is lightly grazing my thigh, but I don't feel anything.
Sam is watching us closely. I wonder if he is trying to read my body language to see if I react to Devon the way I do to him. It's almost like Sam knows exactly how I feel. Am I really that obvious? It would be extremely embarrassing if he did know, and doesn't feel the same way about me, as if I just have some stupid childish crush on him. At least he is back to calling me Laila instead of lil sis. That is something.
"Hey man. I'm Sam. Laila's . . . friend. I go to NEU." I am surprised when he introduces himself as my friend without even mentioning Kyle.
"Hey. I'm Devon. I go to school with Laila."
I am trying to read Sam's expression, but he isn't revealing anything and it is driving me crazy. Devon leans back, awkwardly slipping his arm behind me. I still don't feel anything when his fingers land on the small of my back.
Nobody is saying anything and the silence is maddening. I sip my drink and try not to stare at Sam. It's kind of hard because his eyes haven't left me since he first sat down.
After a few minutes, Devon leans in close to my ear and whispers, "Do you want to take a walk?" It would probably make me shudder, if it were Sam whispering in my ear like this. Hell, even Trevor would stir something inside me, but it's like my body is in a coma with Devon.
I can smell beer on his breath and he is wearing some sort of cologne. It smells good, I guess, but it doesn't make my knees feel weak the way Sam's scent does. Maybe I do need to get away from Sam so I can see if I feel anything more than friendship for Devon. I nod quickly and stand up. Devon slips his fingers around mine and takes my hand. His hands are as sweaty as mine.
"We are going to take a walk," I say quietly to Sam.
At first, he has a surprised look on his face, but then it quickly turns to concern. I try my best to tell him with my eyes that it's fine. He nods, but he doesn't look very happy about it. Deep down, I hope he is jealous even though I know it is absurd for me to think it. I'm pretending that my crush isn't one-sided. After all of these years of pining after him, I'm probably just delusional.
"Don't stay away too long, Laila," Sam says in what seems like a suggestive way. He even winks and smiles at me, which makes my face immediately heat up. I'm sure I am about as red as my mom's salsa dish now.
I try to gauge Devon's reaction. Sure enough, he looks a little irritated by Sam's obvious flirtation. I suppose it is a little rude to flirt with a girl when she is holding hands with another guy.
Devon tugs at my arm gently, trying to move us toward the gate. Avery notices us holding hands and flashes me a big smile from across the yard. It might as well be big thumbs up with how obvious she is being. I'm sure this is not lost on Devon because the corners of his mouth turn up slightly as if he is proud. How embarrassing is that? She is so dead.
We stroll down the street holding hands. I keep waiting for th
e sparks to fly between us, but I'm just not feeling it, and my hope is quickly diminishing. Our hands are still connected, but all I feel are his slippery fingers, and it makes me want to pull away.
When we get further down the street, Devon stops and pulls me in closer until I am pressed up against his wiry chest. His arms are now wrapped around my waist and our bodies are close, but it feels wrong. It's as if we are two puzzle pieces that are being forced together even though it is clear that we don't fit.
He is looking at me in a way that makes my skin crawl. It reminds me a little of how it felt right before Ricky Schrater kissed me.
"You look incredible tonight, Laila," he says in a sultry way. I feel his rough, shaky hands brushing the small of my back. He keeps looking down at my chest and my legs, which is becoming increasingly annoying. I'm tempted to say to him, "Eyes up here, buddy," but I don't.
"I really like you," he continues. He is leaning in closer and breathing kind of heavy, but he doesn't wait for me to reply. His lips are about an inch away from mine. The only thing I seem to be able to think about is how much he reeks of beer. Right before his lips connect with mine, I hear someone yelling from down the street.
"Hey, Patterson. Where did you go? Are you ditching your own party?"
I turn around and see Trevor jogging towards us. Devon lets out a frustrated sigh, and rolls his eyes while releasing me from his embrace. I have to admit, I am a little relieved to see Trevor. I wasn't sure how I was going to react to Devon kissing me, and now, I'm not so sure I'm ready to find out.
"Trevor, this is Devon." My stiff introduction does nothing to ease the tension in the air.
Trevor nods at Devon and then looks at me. He has to know that he is interrupting something, but I don't see any signs of regret or even a hint of apology in his expression. He doesn't seem to have any intentions of leaving, either. Even though I don't really want to be alone with Devon, this bothers me. Annoying me is becoming a bit of a theme with Trevor. It makes me wonder if he isn't doing it on purpose.
"You guys should come back. We want get a volleyball game going in the pool." Trevor's eyes have not left mine since he came over. The thought of me wearing a swimsuit in front of him and Sam suddenly makes my stomach feel funny. I've worn a swimsuit in front of them before, but not a bikini. My body has changed quite a bit since either one of them last saw me in a bathing suit.
