Never Let Go (Devil's Chariots Motorcycle Club Book 2)

by Miranda Banks

  As he drove along the streets towards the clubhouse, he contemplated everything that was happening. He wanted Beth and the baby, but the guys wouldn't have that. Now, they were in danger. So, he was about to try and defend their lives while telling her she had to sneak around with him.

  What kind of a man would do that to someone like her? He didn't want to. Maybe he should just let her go. Then, she'd be happy and be able to raise her kid in peace. However, the thought of a life without her made him wish Hell's Order would have gotten to him the first time.

  So, instead, he had to figure out how to tone down his own emotions so that he wasn't as obvious to the club. They'd never sit by and let this go. He had to keep them happy, keep Beth happy, keep himself happy—and all the while manage to take care of this problem with Hell's Order. It was a lot to tackle at one time, but he was damn sure going to try.

  ***

  Chris heard Beth crying. She didn't know that he'd stayed behind. Phil had thought that someone should probably thank her for letting them be here and let her know that they'd be in touch soon but had some things to tend to. However, she hadn't come downstairs yet.

  He felt like he should say something. Let her know he was there. But she'd started crying and that had made it awkward for him to speak. He didn't want to intrude in her private moments. But then again, sitting there silent while she cried and had no clue he was there felt kind of like an intrusion in itself.

  Nobody had asked him to say anything to her about Johnny, and he was under the impression that the threats against her were to be kept to himself. However, he felt like she should know something. He didn't like hearing her cry.

  “Bethany,” he called in a shy and quiet voice. “Bethany...”

  The sobbing from upstairs stopped.

  ***

  She heard a voice. Was that Chris? She wasn't positive, but she thought it must be. Why had she not known that he was there? Did he hear her cry? Suddenly, she felt like a jackass, sitting in her room and crying while some big bad biker dude listened from downstairs.

  “Yes?” She faked a smile in her voice and hoped he didn't know. “Chris?”

  “Yes, it's me,” he said and laughed. “Want a glass of water?”

  “I'm on my way down,” she answered and got out of the bed.

  Beth hoped he didn't know about the crying. At the very least, it appeared that he was not going to entertain a conversation about it, which was a good thing. She didn't need to feel any dumber than she already did.

  “I'm going to order a pizza,” he stated, and she heard him talking on the phone.

  Taking the steps slowly, Beth wondered how the hell she always ended up eating pizza with a dude from a biker gang.

  ***

  The text made no sense. He read it and reread it and it still made no sense, “I’m not and won't be and can't be and well that's just the way it is no matter what we want it to be and I'm sorry but that's the best I've got.”

  What in the holy hell was she talking about? She's not what? She won't be what? She can't be what? Johnny needed a fucking drink and then maybe her nonsense would make some sense. But even then, he doubted it. Chances were good she didn't even know what the fuck she was talking about.

  “Whiskey,” he told the bartender at the club house.

  The club girls were all trying to approach him. Johnny had a way with them. They loved his look and mostly loved his aloof attitude. However, it wasn't aloofness. He just didn't give a fuck at that moment. He wanted to find Hell's Order and take care of them. He was worried, angry, and hurt.

  “That blonde over there seems really interested,” Aaron told him, as he took the stool beside him.

  “That's nice,” Johnny answered. “Unless she can get me to Hell's Order, I don't give a fuck.”

  With that, he walked off. He wasn't playing games right now. He may not be able to admit he loved Beth, but he sure as hell didn't have to play sexual escapades with the whores to prove himself. He had bigger fish to fry at the moment.

  ***

  “That was delicious,” Beth nodded her approval.

  She had to admit that Chris was good company. She wondered how he ended up with the Devil's Chariot. He just didn't seem to fit in. He was a good guy—not that they were bad so to speak. Well, some of them maybe. However, Chris was different. He had a very distinct good side.

  “I'm glad.” He smiled at her.

  “So why'd you stay?” Beth was always straight to the point.

  She watched him contemplate his answer. He gave it a lot of thought before he opened his mouth to speak.

  “Phil wanted someone to let you know what was up,” he started. “But really I wanted to. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I wanted to tell you that Johnny wanted to stay. I just wanted to be here.”

  Beth nodded and didn't speak a word. She wanted to ask him questions. She wanted to see if he'd be loyal to them or her, but she didn't. She knew he cared, and she decided not to push him the wrong way.

  ***

  “He's going to be a problem,” Stan suggested to his old friend.

  “I hope not,” Phil commented.

  The two of them were watching Johnny at the bar. He was downing whiskey and glaring at the wall. He didn't even notice the club girls who kept trying to talk to him. Hell, he'd barely acknowledged Aaron when he was sitting with him.

  Phil hoped like hell that Johnny wouldn't fail them at this moment. He was trying to believe that Johnny would hold up to their expectations—and not the ones that said he'd fuck it all up for a broad, especially a broad who had belonged to one of their brothers.

  “We'll see,” Stan said.

  ***

  Johnny worried about Beth. He hadn't talked to her since he'd left with the club. He wanted to know if she was okay, especially since Hell’s Order was threatening her.

  If anything happened to her or the baby, Johnny wasn't sure what he'd do. Over the course of time—since the funeral—Beth had become very important in Johnny's world. Actually, she'd become the most important person in Johnny's world.

  He knew if he had said those words to her, then she'd have asked him why he chose the club if that were true. He didn't have an answer—only that they were his family. It was his oath to them, and he couldn't just back out of that.

  Johnny didn't have a lot in the world. His bike. His biker family. His clothes. That's why his word and his pride meant so very much. He may not be able to offer others the money or things they wanted, but he sure as hell could be honest and loyal.

  Even if it meant hurting the person he most wanted to protect.

  ***

  Beth sat still and quiet. She tried to avoid the awkwardness that came with Chris sitting through a movie with her. She didn't want to spend the evening with him. She wanted to talk to Johnny, but he'd never even replied to her message.

  Reading back through it, she could see why. It said far more than he would want to deal with, so she didn't expect he would reply.

  Chris had told her that the club was going out to do a group job. She presumed it had something to do that gang that had killed Dan. She probably didn't want to know what they were doing, so she didn't ask.

  All she really wanted was to go to sleep. Having this baby had made her really sleepy most of the time. However, it was rude to ask him to leave so suddenly, wasn't it?

  ***

  “What do we do?” Aaron asked. “We need to do something,” he finished.

  The club was gathered around to discuss their plans for handling Hell's Order. They needed to be organized and well-prepared. This club was one of the worst and one of the toughest. While Phil had no doubt they could handle them, he knew it would be a fight.

  He had just spent the last hour telling them all of the threats and the danger that everyone was in. The main goal was of course to get Bethany and her baby. They wanted retribution for a fellow brother in their club who was hurt severely after Dan's death.

  They would take out anyo
ne in the process, but for the most part they were focused on families and significant others. This put a few of them who had spouses and kids in a bad spot.

  “She was Dan's old lady,” Stan said. “Regardless of our current issues, we protect her.”

  The guys, Johnny included, nodded in agreement.

  “I say we go after them,” Johnny piped up. “Before they have a chance to attack.”

  The guys looked at each other, and Phil decided to take a vote. Looking around the room, he smiled. “Guess it's decided,” he said. “We are going to launch an attack on the Hell's Order Motorcycle Club.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  She hadn't heard from him in weeks—not since the day after he had shown up and abruptly left with his so called brothers. His only purpose that time was to tell her that he'd be leaving. Again. Seemed to be what he did best anymore. He left. Every time things got serious, Johnny took off.

  Beth was tired of it all. She was pregnant and had to think of the future. A future where things were stable and caring.

  Chris came by fairly often. He was a good friend—not the kind of friend that Johnny had become during his visits, but the kind who sincerely worked to make sure that she was okay. The kind that wanted her to be okay.

  He didn't keep her up-to-date on club business or Johnny. He just checked in and let her know that all was okay in the world. Truth be known, she didn't much give a shit about whether or not Johnny was okay.

  She was sick and tired of being left all the time. Hell, at least Dan had possessed the decency to stick around. They'd had their differences, but hiding her and what he felt for her had never been one of them.

  Johnny was a selfish fucking bastard, and she didn't want to deal with it anymore. He'd never responded to her message. He'd never done much of anything to be honest. He didn't stay in touch anymore. She had no clue, other than Chris, that he was even alive.

  Fuck him. That was her theory.

  She'd focused on other things, like getting a job. It wasn't anything spectacular. She worked at the library a couple days a week. It wasn’t out of necessity since money wasn't a problem. It was just nice to be out and doing something.

  It was at work that she'd met Darryl. He seemed like a really nice guy. He didn't fit the mold she was used to at work. He was a regular in the library during her time, but Betsy had told her that he was fairly new to the area and the library. It hadn't been until she worked there that she'd learned how gossipy librarians were.

  Darryl seemed to take a shine to Beth and managed to find ways to talk to her every day. He hadn't asked her out.

  To Beth, he seemed shy—and cute. However, Betsy warned her to watch out for shy guys, telling her with a laugh that they are the most dangerous.

  The more she talked to Darryl, the more Beth was intrigued. She was very interested in dating a nice, normal man—not one who would turn her world upside down with emotions. She wanted a safe, secure, and happy life with her baby.

  “Is your husband eager for the baby?” he had asked one day as she helped him search for a book.

  “My husband passed away,” she answered. The response was neither emotional nor cold. Just factual. She had accepted that Dan was gone. She was just having a hard time accepting that Johnny was gone.

  “I'm sorry,” Darryl seemed sincere.

  She realized she really liked this guy, thinking he was one of the good ones. He told her he was an accountant, and his wife had died of cancer. He was happy being single but sometimes it was lonely. His favorite food was Italian. He loved to snuggle, watch movies, and missed the feeling of another warm body.

  His reading taste was amazing. He had such a variety of interest. She picked his brain on various subjects and sat fascinated as he told her his viewpoints. The problem was that he was also somewhat boring, which she presumed most people would enjoy. She should enjoy it since she'd had a bit much excitement in the world.

  However, it left something lacking. Big time.

  Still, when he asked her to dinner the following week, she agreed. It was time for some normal. He seemed interested in the baby, as well, which made her feel good. It wasn't a bad thing for her kid to have a nice stepfather or at least a fatherly figure.

  The night of her date she spent a good half-hour deciding what to wear. She had always been a free spirit, and Darryl seemed much different than that. He seemed like someone she would want to dress to impress. So, she studied her options and put together something she felt would be appropriate.

  “You look lovely,” he commented when she answered the door. “Ready?” He took her arm and began promising her a great evening, as he led her to his very safe and boring car.

  “Can't wait,” she answered half-heartedly. “Where are we going?”

  “Oh, Bethany,” he answered. “I'm about to show you a night you will never forget.” With a smile, he shut her door and walked around to his own.

  The date was better than Beth could have imagined and led to a second and a third. At the point where Darryl had asked her to a friend's wedding, she had not heard from Johnny in almost three months. Chris still stopped by, but it was getting less frequent.

  Her baby bump had turned into a full-fledged preggo belly, and she was miserable. Had the library not meant so much to her, she'd have quit and spent her days laying on the couch feeling sorry for herself.

  Constantly talking to Darryl helped Beth pass the time and kept her from feeling alone and sad over the loss of Dan and then Johnny. She was terrified that her baby would grow up alone, and she didn't want that to happen.

  “Where is the wedding?” she asked Darryl over the phone.

  He had just informed her that they'd be traveling for the wedding and would be gone for several days. The idea thrilled her, but scared her at the same time. She was pregnant and didn't really want to be too far from home if something happened.

  However, a vacation from her misery and loneliness seemed like an ideal answer. She would make her final decision based on his response.

  “California,” he shared enthusiastically. “It's beautiful there. You will love it.”

  It seemed like one hell of a trip for a wedding, especially since she wouldn't know anyone but Darryl. She fantasized about sipping cocktails on the beach, but at the same time she was slightly freaked out about the potential dangers lurking everywhere for a pregnant woman. Darryl didn't seem like the type that could protect her if anything threatened her safety, and she wasn't totally sure he could handle anything happening with her and the baby.

  Then again, she was a pretty feisty thing and didn't back down easily. She didn't hurt easily, and she'd handled more than her share of problems. So why not? It'd be nice to get away. Plus, calm, normal people were what she needed in her life most.

  Besides, what if Darryl became the person she ended up with. What if these became her friends and family? This was a good time to make a nice impression—except for that pesky fat stomach that interfered in looking nice. But she'd handle that.

  “Okay,” she said. “But I'm going to get mistaken for a beached whale,” she finished.

  Darryl laughed. He always laughed. He was so free of stress; it was refreshing.

  “Honey,” he began. “You'll be the sexiest whale in the place.” Her heart skipped a few beats at the compliment. It was nice for someone to speak to her freely, not bound by some code or oath or commitment. It was nice to hear someone found her sexy.

  Her body responded, as well. She wanted sex. That much was certain. Johnny had been the last man she'd been with, and it had been months. Her hormones were crazy, and she needed the freedom that came with release.

  Maybe if she agreed to this trip, they'd finally consummate their relationship. That was her hope anyway.

  “Sure,” she laughed. “Sexy whales on display.”

  Darryl didn't speak for a minute, and she worried a little that maybe she'd went too far. Finally, she heard a chuckle and then his soft and sweet voice.

 
“I'd pay for a ticket,” he answered. “But I'm hoping this is our chance for me to get a nice show of my own.”

  That sealed the deal. Beth agreed to go, and after the phone call ended, she began to stress about what she was going to wear. She'd never been to California, and she wasn't quite sure how she should dress. In fact, she wasn't sure of anything—except that she hoped this turned out to be all she was hoping for. If he was as boring in bed as he was everywhere else, she might not survive this experience.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “Whiskey,” Johnny ordered to the bartender.