I tried to smile at him. ‘Course it’s OK,’ I lied. ‘’S good to see you.’
I quickly guessed that Alejandro had no idea what was going on between me and Eve. He had obviously assumed we were back together. Trust Eve. She knew he would have given us space if he’d known and she didn’t want to leave him on his own.
Cal and George were packing up their stuff, arguing loudly in the background. Eve whispered to me that Jess had started seeing some guy she’d met at George’s party and that Cal had decided to stay on in London. ‘It’s the end of the band,’ she said.
‘Really?’ I wondered whether Cal was going to set up a new group. Whether, maybe, he’d consider letting me join.
‘Yeah.’ Eve sighed. ‘George is going back to Cornwall on Monday.’
I forgot about Cal and the guitar for a moment. If George was going back to Cornwall, would Eve go with him?
I couldn’t work her out. She looked unbearably sexy in this low-cut, glittery top and old jeans. But she was avoiding my eyes. We walked next to each other up to the tube station. I told her about her dad’s call last week, apologising for not having mentioned it before. I thought she might be cross, but she didn’t react at all. She tried to give me back my iPod, but I told her to keep it. Then she asked about Mum and I told her what had happened with Matt earlier.
She sighed. ‘God, your poor mum,’ she said, looking at me properly for the first time.
I stared at her, drinking up her face, suddenly desperate to know where I stood. ‘Eve . . .?’
She put her hand on my arm. ‘Let’s talk when we get there. OK?’
What did that mean? That she wanted other people around when she dumped me for good?
18
Back to the start
The party was being held in a tiny, second-floor flat, a few miles east of the City. As soon as we arrived, I knew we weren’t exactly in for the night of the century. Not enough people, hardly any booze and some crap music blaring out from a pair of tinny speakers.
Ryan was there when Eve, Alejandro and I arrived. He hugged Eve and clapped me and Alejandro heavily on the back. He was already a little bit drunk. I frowned. The last few times I’d gone out with Ryan he’d got pissed really early on in the evening. Why was he doing that?
‘So where’s my free gift?’ he grinned at me.
‘I didn’t say it was a free gift.’ I watched him pull a half-bottle of vodka out of his trouser pocket and take a swig. ‘I said a present that didn’t cost any money. It’ll be here any minute. Hey, Ry.’ I grabbed the bottle as he swung it up to his mouth for a second time. ‘Why are you drinking like this? It’s crap getting pissed before anything’s even happened.’
Ryan scowled as he wrenched the vodka out of my hands. ‘Numbs the pain, man,’ he said bitterly. He put the bottle to his lips, then did a double take. I followed his gaze and saw Chloe in the doorway.
‘There. Your present’s arrived.’ I said, relieved that Ryan was still relatively sober, but massively regretting that I’d thought it was a good idea to tell Chloe he’d said he wanted her to come to the party. OK, so they’d both more or less admitted they really missed each other. But it wasn’t any of my business. And Chloe was going to freak when she realised I’d lied to her. Which was going to happen in about five seconds flat unless Ryan showed some interest in her being here.
Chloe was still at the door. She hadn’t noticed us yet.
Ryan watched her shuck off her jacket. ‘That’s my present?’ He snorted, then screwed the top back on his vodka bottle and shoved it in his pocket. ‘Thought you said it didn’t cost any money. Chloe’s frigging high maintenance, man.’
My heart sank. Chloe was now looking round the room. Some guy I was sure she didn’t know swaggered over to her.
Why was Ryan waiting?
‘Go on, then.’ I prodded him in the back. ‘What you gonna do about her?’
That was our in-joke, pre-pulling line from months and months ago.
I wasn’t certain Ryan had even heard me. He was still staring intently at Chloe. At last, he walked forwards towards her.
I breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wanted to talk. I turned round. Alejandro was wandering across the living room to the MP3 player connected to the speakers. I could see girls checking him out as he passed. Eve touched my arm and smiled. ‘That was a nice thing, getting Chlo and Ry together,’ she said.
I shrugged. ‘Someone should be happy,’ I said glumly.
Alejandro had reached the MP3 player. He chatted to the girl standing next to it. Even at this distance I could see she was practically melting in front of him. He was pointing to a song. The girl nodded.
‘Luke?’ Eve paused. I held my breath waiting for her to go on.
And then two things happened in quick succession. A new song blasted into the party. A brilliant dancey rock track that I knew Alejandro loved.
Three seconds later, the air filled with this piercing screech.
I spun round. Chloe and Ryan were standing about half a metre apart from each other, both completely red in the face.
‘YOU FRIGGING LIAR, RY.’
‘YOU’RE THE LIAR.’
‘I KNOW OF ABOUT TEN GIRLS AT LEAST.’
‘OH YEAH? WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT CRAP YOU GAVE ME ABOUT NEEDING SPACE?’
‘HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME, RYAN.’
‘YOU JUST WANTED TO SCREW OTHER GUYS. WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS ABSOLUTELY FINE WITH ME.’
I stared, along with most of the rest of the people in the room, as they carried on shouting at each other. Someone turned the music up, but Ryan and Chloe didn’t appear to notice.
I turned away, my head in my hands. ‘Oh God,’ I moaned.
Alejandro had reappeared next to Eve. He grinned at me. ‘No worries. You have provided the free party entertainment.’
It was true. Everyone in the room, even the ones still dancing, were watching Ryan and Chloe. They were now hurling long links of swear words at each other.
Eve shook her head. ‘I’ve never got how can they do that in public.’ She glanced at me then looked back at Ry and Chloe.
‘I HATE YOU.’
‘I HATE YOU WORSE,YOU BASTARD.’
I studied Eve’s face, wondering if she was thinking that if she and I had done more shouting in public we might not be here, now.
Wherever that was.
I was suddenly aware that the shouting had stopped. Eve was still staring, wide-eyed, at where I knew Ryan and Chloe were standing behind me.
I turned round.
They were kissing. No. They were devouring each other. How had they gone, in seconds, from all that anger to this – their mouths locked, with not a fraction of a centimetre separating their bodies? The people standing and dancing near them started applauding and whistling. Ryan and Chloe appeared as entirely oblivious as they had done earlier.
I turned away, embarrassed at seeing Chloe in such a massive snog. Then I looked over at Eve and felt embarrassed that we were so far away from one ourselves.
‘Wow.’ She was still watching them. Alejandro had vanished again.
‘If you can tear yourself away from the live sex show,’ I muttered, ‘perhaps we can talk.’
She grinned across at me. Then she saw how unsmiling I was and the grin slid from her face.
We went into the hallway outside the flat where it was a bit quieter. We sat down with our backs against the wall. The couple opposite us were all over each other. I looked down at the floor.
A long pause. The music in the living room changed – to another rock track I knew Alejandro liked.
‘I thought about what you said,’ Eve began, tentatively. ‘And I realised that my mum and dad are scared. You were right. They’re scared and they’re making the wrong choices and I shouldn’t run away from the situation any more. I should stand up to them.’
I looked up at her.
‘But thinking all that,’ Eve stammered, ‘just made me feel more scared than ever.’
Oh. That didn’t sound hopeful.
Another long pause.
Eve sat back and gazed thoughtfully at the couple opposite us. The boy was kissing the girl so eagerly he was almost pinning her against the wall. Her hands were pressed flat on the ground beside her and her eyes were open. She didn’t look at all comfortable.
Ease up, mate, I thought. Or you’ll be toast.
‘Would you come with me if I went to see my mum tomorrow?’ she said.
‘Sure.’ What about us, Eve? What about us?
She looked at me. ‘Would you come, even if we’re not going out any more?’
Oh Christ. ‘Course.’ I shrugged. ‘I told you I wanted to help.’
Eve moved the tiniest bit closer to me.
‘And would you mind if I said we could never, ever have sex?’
Yes. Obviously.
‘Mmmn,’ I said, slowly. ‘I would mind because it’s hard to stop when I want you so much. But I don’t mind waiting until you’re ready. Just so long as I know that you’re waiting because it’s not right. Not because I’m not right.’
She grinned. ‘You’re really listening to me, aren’t you?’
I shrugged. Eve moved even closer. Her face was nearly touching mine.
‘You didn’t used to listen, you know,’ she said. ‘I mean you tried sometimes, especially at first. And you did it more than anyone else I’d ever been out with – but now it feels different. Like you know me better . . . like . . .’
‘Like we’re friends, too?’ I said.
She nodded, her nose brushing the end of mine. ‘Exactly.’
We stayed there, staring at each other for a moment.
‘What are you thinking?’ she said.
I could feel my face relaxing into a smile.
‘I’m thinking,’ I murmured, ‘how I’d really, really like you to stop talking now and kiss me.’
I’ve got no idea how long we sat there, our arms wrapped round each other. Alejandro came over to say goodbye – that he was going to his club. He appeared to be with some boy he’d met at the party. Tall, with spiky blond hair. The boy kept glancing over at Alejandro with big, sexed-up eyes, as if he couldn’t believe his luck. But he didn’t say anything and Alejandro didn’t introduce him. He stood to one side as Alejandro said goodbye to me, then gave Eve a big hug.
We sat down against the wall again and watched them weave their way to the stairs to the ground floor. Eve sighed. ‘Why is it all the really good-looking guys are gay?’
‘Hey,’ I said, prodding her in the ribs.
She laughed, her eyes pulling me in again. But just as I leaned towards her, Ryan and Chloe walked over.
‘Eve,’ Chloe squealed.
‘Chloe.’
As they flung their arms round each other, Ryan put his hand on my shoulder. ‘Can I have a word?’ He looked serious.
‘Sure.’ I let him lead me a metre or so away down the corridor from Eve and Chloe. ‘So you two back together?’ I said.
‘Looks like it.’ Ryan’s face split into a lopsided grin. ‘I knew she wouldn’t be able to stay away from me for long.’
I rolled my eyes, but before I could say anything sarcastic, Ryan’s face went serious again. ‘Listen, man,’ he said. ‘Hayley’s here.’
‘What?’
My stomach gave a sick lurch. I peered towards the flat. The front door was several metres away and the room beyond too dark to make out individual faces. ‘Is she in that room with the music?’
‘Yeah. She turned up about half an hour ago. Walked right past you apparently. You didn’t even notice her. She’s getting really tanked up now and punchy with it. She came over. Had a go at me about you being an arsehole for not calling her. Like it was my fault.’ Ryan shook his head in disbelief. ‘Course Chlo was really rude to her. She was dead funny actually. Suggested that Hayley might like it if she speed-dialled her number to every guy in the room. God, Chloe’s amazing. She just gets this look in her eye sometimes, like a missile locking on its target and you know that she’s going to give—’
‘Ry,’ I snapped. ‘What about Hayley?’
‘Oh yeah.’ Ryan frowned. ‘I thought you should know she was here. ’Cause I think if she has much more to drink she might come over and have a go at you, too.’ He glanced over at where Eve and Chloe were still talking.
I could see what he was thinking. No way did I want Hayley and Eve to meet. That could ruin everything.
‘Thanks, Ry.’ I turned away. I had to get Eve to leave straight away.
He punched my arm and nodded towards Chloe. ‘Er . . . and thanks too . . . er,’ he said. ‘For . . . you know . . .’
‘No problem.’ I grinned at him. ‘I mean, who else’d go out with her?’
I hurried over to Eve, slipped my arm round her waist and whispered in her ear that we should go. She frowned at me.
‘But I’m having a good time,’ she said. ‘I haven’t seen Chlo for ages.’
I stared at Chloe helplessly.
‘I’ll come round tomorrow,’ Chloe said quickly. ‘To ours, I mean. Maybe we could meet there.’
Eve’s frown deepened. ‘What’s going on?’ she said.
‘Nothing,’ I said. ‘It’s just . . .’
I stopped, catching sight of Hayley in the doorway of the living room. Her hair was redder and wilder than I’d remembered. She was wearing a skin-tight dress and her wrists and fingers were loaded down with jewellery. She stared at me, her eyes hard and slightly unfocused.
Her mouth curled into an ugly sneer. She was going to come over. She was going to talk to me.
Shit.
19
The fight
I tore my eyes away from Hayley.
‘Come on, Eve,’ I said, forcing a smile. ‘Maybe we should try and find Alejandro’s club.’
She shook her head. ‘It’s a gay club, Luke. You’d hate—’
‘OK, I’ve gotta pee,’ Chloe said urgently. ‘Come with me to the bathroom, Eve. We can talk there.’
She dragged Eve into the flat. Hayley glared at them as they passed. I prayed Eve hadn’t noticed.
Hayley turned round. She stared at me again, then started walking slowly over. Ryan prodded me in the back.
‘What you gonna do about her, man?’ he said drily.
Oh crap.
‘Hey. Luke.’ Hayley’s voice was an icy, slurred drawl. ‘How are you?’
‘OK.’
Hayley narrowed her eyes accusingly.
There was a long, tense silence. Rock music and excited chatter filled the air around us.
‘I’m sorry . . .’ I stammered. ‘I mean . . . I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch. That I . . . er . . . I . . . didn’t . . . er . . .’
‘That you didn’t call me after you screwed me in my sister’s boyfriend’s flat? After you left before I was even awake?’ She sounded cold and ironic. I had no idea whether she was really upset about it, or just taking the piss out of me.
I decided to play it straight.
‘Yeah. Look. I guess it was mean just to run off. So I am sorry. But . . . but I didn’t actually say I’d call you, did I?’
Hayley shook her head. ‘No, you’re right, Luke,’ she said, slowly. ‘You didn’t say you’d call. And, to be honest, I didn’t really want you to. It wasn’t that great. For me.’
I nodded. ‘OK.’ Really? Was I that bad? ‘OK, well. OK. Thanks. So . . . We’re OK, then?’ I backed away.
‘Yeah, everything’s fine,’ Hayley slurred. ‘So long as you’re absolutely, definitely sorry.’
I stared at her, wondering what the hell was going on inside her head.
‘OK,’ I said, again.
‘Hey.’ Hayley sneered. ‘You owe me a beer.’
My mind flashed back to the party in December and how she’d leaned against the counter in that club, buying me a drink.
‘Right. Course.’ I beckoned Ryan over. ‘Hey, Ry,’ I said. ‘Any of our stash left? Hayley wants a beer.’
&nbs
p; Ryan shot me an ‘Are you mad?’ look, and vanished inside the flat. I stood there, awkwardly, hoping he’d come back quickly. I tried to work out how long Chloe and Eve had been gone.
‘Er . . . d’you mind if we don’t hang out to drink it? The beer, I mean.’
Hayley raised her eyebrows.
‘It’s just, my girlfriend . . .’ I said. ‘I don’t think she’d . . . er . . . maybe it’s best if we don’t . . . er . . . if she doesn’t see us talking . . .’
Hayley rounded her mouth in an expression of mock surprise. ‘Really?’ she said, with heavy emphasis.
God, I’m drowning here. Where the hell are you, Ryan?
At that moment he reappeared with two bottles of beer. He handed one to Hayley and took a swig out of the other himself. The music from the party changed to a new track with a pounding bass.
‘Where’s mine?’ I said.
He patted his pocket. ‘You can have the vodka,’ he whispered. ‘You’re gonna need it.’
‘Luke and I were just talking about how things ended between us,’ Hayley slurred.
No, we weren’t. We didn’t have ‘things’. We had a shag. Why won’t you just go away?
And then, suddenly, Eve and Chloe were back. Eve wound her arm round my waist. I was standing between her and Hayley.
I shot an imploring look at Ryan. Get me out of here.
Eve smiled at Hayley. She glared back and swigged at her beer. I stared at the carpet in front of me. An empty beer bottle lay on its side beside Chloe’s feet. I could feel Eve leaning against me on one side and sensed Hayley on the other, standing too close, breathing heavily.
I tried to work out how on earth I could convince Eve we needed to leave. Right now. And then she smiled at Hayley again.
‘So, how d’you know Ryan and Luke?’ she asked politely.
Ryan spluttered his beer over the carpet.
I closed my eyes.
Too late.
‘Well,’ Hayley slurred. ‘I knew Ryan first.’ She paused. ‘But I know Luke better. If you know what I mean?’
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