by Lynn, Janice
“All I have is canned sodas. Sorry, I’m not much on shopping.” She laughed with self-deprecation. “For food that is.”
Colin opened his eyes and met her gaze. Jessie stopped mid-stride, froze where she stood and stared at him. What did she see? Whatever, she glanced away, looking uncomfortable, unsure. Totally unlike Jessie.
Had she read his thoughts and judged him for the coward he was? Or worse, seen him for the traitorous man he was?
“Here.” She placed the soda on the scratched-up coffee table, right next to her copy of The Blooming Rose. Mr. Smith made a huge production out of presenting it to her. He’d given Colin a copy as well, but with a rushed “Thank you.” Just seeing the tiny paperback booklet ensconced Colin with heated memories of Jessie reading the excerpt. He’d felt as if she read every word directly to him. When their eyes had met, he believed she had.
Of course every other sap in the room probably felt the same way. Jessie had that effect on men, making them feel as if they were mighty warriors and the sole recipient of her affections.
“It’s diet. Hope that’s okay. I perpetually diet. Especially now that I’m living with Tamara. Dude, the woman cooks like a fiend.” Jessie waved her hand. “Since we’re low on goodies, she’s probably buying out the local grocer as we speak.”
Colin watched her prattle on, thinking her more beautiful than anything he’d ever seen, more vivacious and exciting. He watched her plop down a few feet from him on the sofa, pull her legs beneath her and turn to observe him.
“What?” she demanded when he continued to stare.
What indeed? Colin couldn’t think. Still couldn’t breath because of the tight band around his chest. Which might explain his crazy next move. Lack of oxygen inhibited one’s ability to think clearly. Or to think at all.
Knowing he’d regret his actions, but unable to stop himself, whether from the thought she could have died or from the way she’d boiled his blood with her poetry reading, he closed the gap between them on the sofa and pulled her to him.
“Colin?” Her eyes were wide, but she wasn’t afraid. Her bright green gaze didn’t show the slightest fear, only excitement. Encouragement. Desire.
“Shut up,” he whispered, not wanting her to analyze his actions. Not wanting to analyze them himself. He did what he’d wanted to do for months, since that first day in the taxi. Every day since. Every night since.
He took Jessie’s mouth in a sweeping kiss. He brushed his lips across hers, not soft or slow or tentative, but with the demand of a man who’d grown impatient with doing the right thing. With a demand that she return his fervor.
Without the slightest hesitation, she did. Threading her fingers in his hair, she held his head beneath her palms, pulling him closer still as she wiggled into his lap.
“Colin,” she breathed against his mouth.
From the back recesses of his mind a warning sounded, reminding Jessie was nothing but trouble and only a fool would kiss her.
Only a fool would stop kissing her when she tasted so sweet.
She arched into him. Her lush breasts smashed into his chest. Stopping would not be happening.
Colin groaned. The groan of a man in heaven and hell all at once. Holding her, touching her, kissing her could only be described as divine, yet he burned with a heat straight from down under.
Jessie set him on fire.
Her fingers combed through his hair. “I’ve wanted to do this so long.”
“Kiss me?”
“That too,” she laughed, before pulling his lips back to hers and not revealing whatever she’d been referring to.
Long moments they kissed. A kiss that was hotter than any he’d experienced despite the fact they were fully dressed and her hands never left his hair. A kiss that burned straight through him and set his insides ablaze.
When Jessie pulled back to stare at him with sultry eyes and kiss-swollen lips, he wasn’t ready for the embrace to end. Wasn’t prepared for the emotions whirling through him.
“Why are you here?” she asked.
“The wires.”
She sighed and relaxed into him, resting her head into the crook of his neck. “I could have been hurt. Why would someone do that intentionally?”
“Hell if I know.” Colin stroked Jessie’s nape, tender brushes of his fingertips over the soft skin, and loving the feel of her silky hair curtaining his hand. Loving the sassy cinnamon fragrance filling his nostrils. Loving how her voice echoed words of seduction in his head with sensual metaphors of rose petals and blossoming buds.
“What are we doing, Colin?”
“Hell if I know that, either.”
She sighed, her fingers toying with his hair. “You don’t like me.”
“No.” He didn’t like her. His life had turned upside down from the moment she stepped into it.
“I don’t think I like you, either.” Hot breath brushed his neck. “But I love how you kiss me. Like you really, really want me.”
How was he supposed to respond to that? Other than the very obvious response straining against his fly? He’d been hard from the moment his lips covered hers, now to the point of pain at her sweet admission. Maybe he’d been hard since that day in the taxi. Certainly he’d wanted her that long, been frustrated that long.
“I do want you.” What was he doing? Why had he come here? Because his heart stopped when she’d gotten shocked? Because he’d wanted to hold her in his arms and comfort her, but an entire studio of people prevented him? Because she’d pushed him over the edge of reason with her wordy seduction of his senses and he’d wanted to hold her for less honorable reasons? Reasons that only had to do with comforting an ache within him?
Holding her was just as wrong now as it would have been in the studio, but there was no one to stop him and his arms were around her. He wanted to hold her. To kiss her. To comfort the need in them. To let go of all the warnings in his head and dive in to Jessie’s excitement.
Which was a real pisser.
He wanted her off Causing A Commotion. Could have his show back if he got her off the show.
For her to leave would mean not seeing her five days a week. Which was one of the reasons he wanted her off the show. And the reason he didn’t.
Crazy. Insane. Stupid.
Why hadn’t he made good on Marian’s offer yet?
He’d never felt so confused, so torn in his life. And that was saying a lot with the life Colin had led up to this point.
* * *
Jessie couldn’t believe she sat in Colin’s lap with her fingers tousling his hair. A smile played on her lips. He looked good tousled. Good? The man looked totally sexy and downright adorable.
Colin was totally sexy. And adorable. Scarily so.
But the scariest thing was the admission she’d made moments before. Colin kissed her like she’d dreamed of being kissed. Held her like she’d dreamed of being held. Like he needed her.
He didn’t need her. She knew that. His kiss moved her all the same, leaving her glassy-eyed and hungry for more of the heaven his touch promised.
For once, she’d deny herself. Because kissing Colin, making love with him, could undo everything she wanted. Her new career, her new life, her budding belief in her own self-worth. Giving in to the physical yearnings he stirred would crash those beliefs into thousands of shards.
She wouldn’t do it.
How long they sat there, her snuggled in Colin’s lap, him hard beneath her, she wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter. Whether he sensed that she’d go no further, or whether he refused to push, he never made another move. Not except to press his lips to her head and say her name on a sigh.
When the door opened and Tamara stepped into the living room, grocery bags in hand, she stopped short. Jessie wasn’t sure if she’d jumped out of Colin’s lap or if he’d thrown her to the other end of the sofa when they’d heard the jangle of the key in the door.
“Oops, sorry if I’m interrupting,” Tamara apologized in her Southern twang. “I
didn’t know you had company.”
Jessie leapt from the sofa and brushed her hands over her clothes. “Tamara, have you met Colin? He’s the host on-”
“I know who he is.” Tamara shot Colin a friendly smile. Too friendly in Jessie’s opinion. “I’d offer to shake your hand, but,” Tamara looked down at the bags she carried.
“Let me help you,” Colin offered before Jessie could.
Tamara giggled and shook her head. “I’ve got it covered. Besides you two look busy.”
“We were discussing work,” Colin said, yet again before Jessie could get a word out.
She glared at him. Work? Who was he kidding?
“Come on, Tamara. I’ll help. Colin was just leaving.”
“Leaving?” Tamara blinked innocently. “I thought he might want to stay for some of my grandma’s meatloaf. It’s to die for and made from her secret recipe. I got all the ingredients fresh at this little shop I found a couple of blocks from here.”
When Colin looked as if he was considering saying yes, Jessie made the decision. “Colin has to go. It’s late.”
He glanced at the slim gold watch on his wrist and growled a low curse. “Actually, I do. I’m late for previous plans.”
Jealousy shot through Jessie. Hot, savage, and so green it shamed the lushest forest to ever grow. She refused to ask if his engagement was a date. Of course, it was a date. Colin was gorgeous, sexy, and a wonderful kisser. Why wouldn’t he have a date?
The second the door closed behind a reluctant-to-go Colin, Tamara asked, “What was that about?”
“Nothing.” It hadn’t been. Just a momentary lapse in judgment. On both their parts.
* * *
Jessie closed her eyes and let the hypnotist’s words fill her mind. Although aware she sat in the studio, she drifted outside her body.
She imagined walking down the peaceful path, the hypnotist described. Imagined sitting beside the waterfall, grazing her hand along the surface of the cold, gurgling water.
She would no longer be afraid to be alone.
She was a strong woman and could meet all her needs without Jill, without her parents, without another person in her life. Particularly a man.
She would not fall for a man just to keep from being alone.
“Now, think of any other thing you fear. Think of it and drop it into the water, let the force of the falls wash it away, carry it far, far from you.”
Colin. He scared her. Knowing he wanted her off the show and J.P. had warned her not to trust Colin, that scared her. Knowing she needed to avoid him during this vulnerable time and knowing she’d see him daily, that scared her. The way she couldn’t get him out of her head, the way she wanted him more than she’d ever wanted any man, that scared her the most.
She would not keep thinking about his kiss and dreaming about blossoming rose petals.
Mentally she picked up Colin and lifted him over the water. She ordered her fingers to let go, but nothing happened.
Funny, she’d had no problem letting go of the other stressors in her life. Had forcibly tossed them into the falls. Colin refused to budge.
“Relax,” the hypnotist encouraged. “Your body has gone tense. This one must be a doozie.”
He had no idea. Said doozie sat only a few feet away, watching her dip into the world of hypnosis. Even in this spiritual place his life force dominated all her senses. Made her tingle with awareness at his utter maleness.
“Let the sound of the water soothe you,” the hypnotist continued. “Let its calming mist dampen your skin and refresh your soul.”
Jessie did so.
“Now, let go of this stressor. Let it go into the cleansing waters and never harm you again.”
Jessie took a deep breath and let go. Her heart thumped and her stomach dropped. Immediately regretting letting go, she snatched at air, but came up empty handed.
Her eyes jerked open and collided with Colin’s.
Guilt slammed her. Did he know what she’d done?
No, he couldn’t know. Nor should she feel guilty. It wasn’t as if Colin wanted to be the last thing on her mind at night, the first thing on her mind when she woke. Everything in between. So he’d kissed her last week. No big deal.
They’d both pretended like it had never happened when she’d walked onto set the next day. He’d looked away, mumbling only a stilted hello when she’d sat down next to him. Other than to remind her to watch for anything suspicious, he hadn’t said much else.
“This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever witnessed,” Colin grumbled.
The hypnotist, a dark-eyed man in his late forties shot him a silencing look. “Sh-ush. You are interrupting the calming air.”
“You are full of hot air. Or more likely full of something a lot denser than air.”
The hypnotist ignored this and returned his attention to Jessie, taking her hand in his and stroking his thumb in a soothing, circular motion. “No wonder you have so much negative energy to free yourself of, working in this environment. How do you feel?”
Good question. How did she feel? She’d dropped all her cares into the river of tranquility and the calming falls washed her troubles away.
Except for the one scowling at her.
He no longer had the power to hurt her. She’d dropped him into the falls, too. Gone.
Bye, bye Colin the Cold.
Only, on the few occasions he relaxed, he wasn’t cold at all.
Definitely, she couldn’t describe those stolen moments on her sofa as cold. They’d been hot. Just like the way he’d looked at her while she read the poetry. Hot. Hot. Hot. Colin the total hottie.
But today he was back to ignoring her and acting as if she were nothing more than a thorn in his side.
Perhaps she was. Which was just fine. She didn’t need him. She’d just drowned him in the river. He was kaput from her psyche. Totally gone from her thoughts. Completely—
“Are you okay?” the hypnotist asked, pulling his hand free from her death grip.
“Fine.” She shot a smirk toward the skeptical drowned scowler sitting a few feet from her. “Never better.”
“Do you feel relaxed?”
Jessie winked. “Relaxed as in relaxed or just relaxed as in calm?”
The hypnotist’s mouth curved and he shot her an interested look. “Either one.”
“You bad, bad man.” Jessie teased, pulling her consciousness completely back from where she’d been. “No to the first one and yes to the second one.”
She did feel relaxed, strong, like she could deal with taking on the world. Without someone there to help her. She could help herself.
Which meant Colin was up the river without a paddle.
At least, she hoped so because that would make life much simpler.
Then again, when had life ever been simple?
* * *
Colin didn’t like the way Jessie eyed him. Like she was going to devour him in one big bite.
Although she flirted outrageously with him and ever other Tom, Dick, and Harry, they’d kept their interactions limited to in front of the camera. Except for last week and that had been a dip into insanity. Something he wouldn’t allow to happen again.
“I’m really good at helping women achieve all types of relaxation,” the hypnotist assured Jessie, taking her hand again.
Jessie’s eyes flashed fire at Colin. “Really? Tell me more. I’m sure the audience is as interested in hearing about your technique as I am.”
Enough was enough.
“Looks like we’re out of time,” Colin interrupted, motioning to the commercial break cue that for once appeared at an opportune moment.
Jessie cast him a sly look, but nodded. They thanked their guest and the man waved to the audience and then left the set.
She ignored him for the break, which should have been just fine, but instead made him want to demand she pay attention to him. What was with him, missing her teasing and innuendos that normally rapid fired during the breaks? He s
hould be grateful for the reprieve.
“You don’t really buy this garbage, do you?” he asked. So much for reprieve.
Jessie turned her blond head toward him. “What garbage?”
She smiled at him, then the camera. Hell, they were live again. How had he missed that? Because he’d been too caught up in wondering why she was ignoring him.
“That that joker just cured you from your inner phobias?” he asked, despite knowing they were on the air.
She flashed her teeth and lifted sultry eyes. “Ah, but he did cure me, so yes, I do buy this ‘garbage’. I mean, I know it works. Already, I feel freer, more confident.”
He wasn’t buying her carefree attitude or the hypnotist’s abilities. Not for a second. “So, what was the toughie?”
“The toughie?”
“The thing you had trouble letting go of.”
“Oh, that one.” Jessie grinned, winking outrageously at the camera. “You wouldn’t happen to feel a little wet beneath the collar there would you, Colin?”
The audience laughed, catching her meaning.
Colin scowled, his brows burrowing into a deep vee and his fingers curling into a tight fist. She hadn’t. “You threw me into the river of tranquility?”
Jessie nodded, turning to the audience for support. “What do you think? Doesn’t Colin need to relax, to let the calming waters wash over him?”
Lots of yeses filled the studio. He clenched his teeth. She was manipulating him, toying with him like she always did. Like what he’d missed seconds ago. Just call him a glutton for punishment.
“This is ridiculous. I’m a news journalist, not a psychology experiment.”
