by Lynn, Janice
Walking into his office and seeing the dripping red paint had caught her off guard. Had thrown her completely into a tailspin after last week’s “accidental” electrocution. Having Colin’s arms around her, cradling her, comforting her had thrown her even more. She’d been the one to launch herself at him, but he’d responded like they were lovers. Which was ridiculous as they’d only shared one kiss.
For the few months she’d known Colin she’d wanted him more than she’d ever wanted any man, maybe anything including an acting career. Yet, although she teased, she knew that for them to become lovers would be a mistake in many ways.
Silly how life changed one’s perspective so quickly.
Once upon a time, sex had been just another physical act. With Colin it wouldn’t be. Instinctively, she knew that and feared it.
When they pulled up outside a large boys’ home, Jessie glanced toward Colin. “Why are we here?”
“To have some fun.” His gaze traveled over her dress and heels. “You’re probably not dressed appropriately.”
Jessie frowned, glancing down at her aqua skirt and matching shoes. “Hey, this is wash and wear. I’m ready for anything you can bring on.”
Colin smiled, really smiled. A smile like she hadn’t seen since that first day in the taxi cab. A smile that stole her breath.
“You should do that more often.”
Reaching for his door handle, he gave a puzzled look. “What?”
“Smile, Colin. I’m talking about curving your lips upward and showing those dazzling white teeth.”
Without waiting for a response, she opened her door and climbed out of the car.
Palm trees lined the drive leading to the old Spanish-style brick building. The fronds swayed to and fro in the light breeze. Fresh white paint covered the window and door trim. A small sign proclaimed the facility as the Community Boys Home and Center.
She stood on the sidewalk staring at the building, curious as to what he planned.
“It takes free artwork to get real smiles from me.”
She gawked, not believing he’d just cut a joke about the afternoon’s events, and earned another of those real smiles.
“Come on.” He took her hand, clasped her fingers with his, and led her into the building.
Apparently he knew the layout and was well-known throughout as while they maneuvered down one hallway and through another, several men and boys greeted him with genuine friendship.
“You hang here often?”
“Most every afternoon.”
“Really?” So that’s where he disappeared to after they finished shooting their segment. She’d often wondered what his rush was, if he had a girlfriend no one knew about.
Instead he’d been volunteering at a boy’s home.
This was probably where he’d gone last week after he’d left her apartment.
She liked that much better than all the visions she’d had of him with another woman. Probably some luscious brunette like the actress he’d been rumored to be engaged to at the time of her death.
Jessie had done volunteer work at a battered women’s shelter her sister worked with. During her teenage years she’d had to do community service on several occasions, but never at a youth home. Other than the few things Jill roped her into, Jessie hadn’t done much of anything other than self-serving things. Which pricked her heart.
Surely she could convince J.P. a community service project it would be a good idea. She’d also been meaning to talk to him about adding a short cooking segment featuring Tamara. The woman cooked like an angel and viewers would love listening to that accent and learning all her grandma’s cooking secrets. Which were vast and worth taking note of.
They entered a large open gym. A group of boys, who she guessed were around ten but she really wasn’t much of a judge since she hadn’t been around kids since she was a kid, played basketball on one side. Another group sat in a circle on the opposite end. A bald man with a thick gray mustache and even thicker eyebrows sat with them.
When one of the kids noticed Colin, he jumped up and ran toward him. A tiny blur of boy launched himself into mid air. “Mr. Colin!”
Colin hugged the youth to him. “Hey, Raoul.”
“I did it,” he said. “I tied the knot like you showed me yesterday. I’ve got it in my room.”
Knot? Was Colin a Boy Scout leader or something? Of course, it made sense since he excelled in tying her stomach into knots.
Jessie’s chin rocked back and forth while she watched the boy jump up and down like a bouncing ball.
Colin bent to where he and the boy were eye level. “I’m very proud of you, Raoul.”
The boy’s black eyes turned to Jessie and he stared at her curiously. “Who’s she?”
Colin laughed. “This is my amigo, Jessie. She’s come to watch my game with the boys today.”
“They’ve been practicing,” the boy warned.
“I suspected as much,” Colin sighed. “Guess I’ll have to work twice as hard as normal to keep them from showing me up in front of my friend, huh?”
“Is she your girl?”
Jessie held her breath. She wasn’t Colin’s girl. Wasn’t anything to him except a co-worker. A co-worker he’d kissed like there was no tomorrow, but just a co-worker, nonetheless. Still she waited to hear his answer. Was disappointed when he told the truth.
“Jessie works with me.”
“Oh! I remember now. I watched your new show,” the boy beamed, a front tooth missing.
“You watched Causing A Commotion?” Colin frowned. “I’m positive that doesn’t fall onto the approved list of shows a six-year-old should watch.”
A giggle gurgled out of the boy’s mouth. “I snuck and done it, but you won’t tell, will you?”
Colin ruffled the boy’s hair. “As long as you promise not to do it again.”
The boy grinned sheepishly. Colin laughed. Jessie liked the sound of it. Deep and throaty and luscious.
Totally luscious.
She wanted to hear it more, to hear it because she’d caused it.
The vision of him with the boy did funny things to her heart. Funny, foreign, and frightful things.
Coming here with Colin might not have been such a great idea. Just like kissing him hadn’t been.
* * *
Jessie sat on the bleachers with three other adults while two basketball teams duked it out on the court. Colin’s team led by a few shots.
Thank goodness they played basketball. It was the only sport Jessie knew anything about thanks to Jill’s college days. Her sister ruled the court and had offers to go pro. Jill gave it all up to go into law enforcement instead.
Gave up her dreams of playing pro because Jessie had gotten into trouble one time too many.
Jessie propped her elbows on her knees and cradled her chin in her palms. God, she’d been one big screw-up her whole life.
She still was.
No, that wasn’t true. She had a job. A real job. One that she was good at even though she’d always wanted to be an actress. Being a talk show hostess was a job and would do until she landed a role that would prove to the world how talented she was.
Causing a Commotion was good. Even if Colin did resent her. A good show and people were interested. Interested in the show, in what she had to say, and even in Colin. Was that what this afternoon was about?
Some crazed fan who’d gone overboard.
Colin had been terse while at Wolf, quiet in the car, but from the moment they arrived here, he’d been…fun. Just like he’d promised.
Worry lines hadn’t etched into his forehead. Tension hadn’t harshened his features. Laughter softened his eyes, made him appear younger.
She’d never wanted him more. Not last week when he’d kissed her. Not in the taxi. Not in the elevator. Right now, watching him laugh and interact without any of the icy shield he normally wore, she ached for him.
Was it because of the cryptic message she’d walked in on? Or perhaps her phobia
for being alone.
Despite her hypnosis the thought of being home alone night after night still frightened. Not as much as before though. She had Tamara. The past few months had taught her that she was stronger than she’d thought, could do things she hadn’t believed she could.
Although not up to staying at her and Jill’s family home alone, she had found an acceptable solution. One that hadn’t put her in another bad relationship with a man.
She was moving in the right direction.
If only Colin didn’t monopolize her every thought. Mentally, she’d tossed him and his smiling self into the waterfall over and over, hoping she’d exorcise him from her mind.
Because if she didn’t, she was in fear of sinking beneath the murky waters herself.
* * *
Silence dripped between them with the brilliance of Chinese water torture. Each second that passed, another maddening drop pounded against Colin’s forehead.
Yet, he didn’t speak.
Nor did Jessie.
He drove her to the station, parked beside her car, stared out his windshield at the bleak grayness of the parking garage.
Jessie sat with her hands folded in her lap. He wasn’t sure if she stared out her window or if she looked at him. For once his Jessie radar beacon failed.
Unable to stand it, he looked.
Her green eyes watched him, void of emotion, void of clues to her thoughts.
“Thank you.” She reached for the door handle, her fingers curling around the handle.
“For?”
“Sharing today with me.”
“The winning email?”
“Is yours to choose. I’ll talk to J.P. Maxwell, too, if needed.”
The elation that should have filled him didn’t. Marian’s offer played through his mind.
“You should stay away from Maxwell. He’s a married man.”
“Yes, you’ve pointed that out to me several times in the past.”
“Just wanted to be sure you knew.”
“I got the message the first time you told me.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Did it keep you from giving in to Maxwell’s charms?”
Jessie glared and a part of him wondered how they’d so quickly gone back to being enemies.
“I’m not sleeping with him, if that’s what you’re asking. Not that it’s any of your business.”
She had him there. It wasn’t. Not really. Only…
“I’m glad.”
“Fine.”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Unless you get lucky and I get hit by a bus on the way home.”
“Jessie,” he started, not believing she’d said the words. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“But you hate the changes to your show.”
“It’s not my show. Not anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I may still be on it, but have you noticed that with each show that airs, there’s less real news and more who’s doing who in Hollywood and such nonsense. With every new thing you ask for, I lose yet another hold on trying to present real stories.”
Her face blanched, and he got the feeling she planned to ask J.P. for even more changes.
“Who do you think ruined your office?” she quietly asked.
“I don’t know. Probably some kid. It’s no big deal.”
Her eyes widened. “You’ve had this kind of thing happen before?”
He closed his eyes, hardened the set of his jaw. “I was accused of murder. Just because the courtroom found me innocent doesn’t mean everyone else did. I’ve had this sort of thing happen before.”
Not exactly like this, but he didn’t have to tell her that.
“I know you didn’t let Karen die intentionally. You’re not that kind of person.”
He laughed, a bitter and cruel sound that echoed in his mind. “I was drunk. Had I been sober, Karen would still be alive. Of that, I’ll always be guilty. End of story.”
“But it isn’t, is it?” she quietly asked.
He looked at her. “What do you mean?”
“That’s why you’re the way you are. So controlled, so unwilling to let yourself go and feel. Because you were out of control when she died.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“You should let the hypnotist help you work through your guilt.”
“Even more ridiculous.”
She shrugged. “What do you have to lose except a whole lot of misplaced guilt?”
“My guilt isn’t misplaced.”
“Have you never heard of forgiveness?”
“Why are we even discussing this?”
“Because it’s keeping you from being the man you were meant to be.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Today, with the boys, that’s how you truly are, Colin. I recognized it the moment I saw you with those boys. This hardened man, well, it’s not natural. Not the man I…want.”
When had he leaned closer? When had she? Inches separated their mouths and suddenly he couldn’t recall what they’d been talking about. Didn’t care.
Right or wrong, all he cared about was tasting Jessie’s mouth. Had he ever wanted anything more? Anything longer than he’d craved this woman?
It seemed impossible.
Her pupils dilated. Her lips parted. Her breathing quick.
“Get out of the car,” he warned, giving her a chance to leave before he did something really stupid.
“No.” Then before he could give her one last opportunity to run, an opportunity he hadn’t given on her living room sofa, she touched her lips to his.
Soft, sweet, sassy, sensual, succulent. Everything he remembered, everything he’d dreamed of. More.
With their mouths gently brushing, Colin’s wants sky-rocketed from phenomenal to undeniable. He gathered Jessie into his arms the best the car seats would allow.
He couldn’t do this. Couldn’t let this happen.
Not when he didn’t know who was out to get him. Not when it meant Jessie might get hurt.
Hell, she would get hurt. Any person he’d ever cared about got hurt. Why should Jessie be any different?
If he didn’t end things, Jessie would pay the price, just as Karen had.
He pushed Jessie away. “Get out. Now.”
She hesitated, then nodded.
He watched until she got into her car, cast him a confused glance, and drove away.
Until he figured out what was going on at Wolf, he had yet one more reason to stay far away from his tempting co-host.
Chapter Ten
Jessie giggled and read yet another of the Get Fun for Colin emails. Oh, she liked this one. She hit print and moved on to the next one.
Hire a crew of belly-dancers to come in and give him a good shake down.
Not likely. The only woman going to give Colin a shakedown was her. She paused mid-click. Only Colin didn’t want shook down. Not by her or any woman.
He just wanted left alone to wallow in his guilt.
Guilt that, as best as she could tell, he had no right to feel. Sure it would be great if he could go back to that night and stay stone sober, but there was no way to know that even if Colin hadn’t been drinking that the woman still wouldn’t have died from taking so much heroine. Enough to kill a horse one source said.
She’d accessed Wolf’s huge database and read everything ever written about Karen Bennett’s death. Which was quite a lot since she’d been a fairly well-known actress and Colin an Emmy award winning journalist.
The media had a field day with Colin’s alcohol addiction, dragging in that his father died while driving under the influence and took out his current girlfriend along with him, calling Colin a chip off the ole block.
Jessie hurt for Colin by the time she’d finished going through the articles. He’d been tried. Karen’s family had pressed criminal and civil charges against him. The
charges had been dismissed, but no wonder he avoided life, preferring to play it safe.
No wonder he’d practically thrown her out of his car last night.
She closed her eyes and recalled his reaction to her kiss. At first, he’d been responsive, meeting her passion with a passion of his own. A passion that hadn’t lasted. Struggling for breath he’d ordered her out of the car. Ordered her into her own car. Watched while she got into her car and drove away.
From her rearview mirror, she’d watched his head slump forward onto his steering wheel and experienced guilt of her own. Was she wrong to have kissed him?
Damn it, he deserved happiness even if he didn’t think so.
She wanted to give him happiness.
Even if he didn’t think he deserved it.
Even if he didn’t want it.
He relaxed at the boys center. She wanted that relaxation to rule his life. Not guilt over something he had no control over. She intended to free him of that guilt. Somehow.
