by Lynn, Janice
* * *
Colin blinked. How did Jessie know he’d gotten into a limo with a woman? No one knew Marian had been in the limo. He was sure of it. At Jessie’s suspicious glare, his surety declined.
“I had business that had to be attended to.”
“You couldn’t call?”
“Some things have to be said in person.”
Her gaze narrowed, and her mouth twisted. “I don’t like the way this is sounding.”
“No, but things need to be said between us. There’s not an easy way to do so.”
“What’s going on?”
“Maxwell was fired from Wolf. Causing A Commotion will resume airing as soon as you feel ready.”
She smiled. “Oh Colin. That’s wonderful news.”
“Yes, it is. You and J.P. have turned the show into a hit.”
“You, too.”
“I have little to do with any success that show’s had. It’s your insights and suggestions that have made the show outside the box. J.P.’s complete faith in your abilities what has made the show competitive.”
“You’re an important part of Causing A Commotion.”
“That’s just it. I’m no longer a part of the show.”
“What?” Her face went pale and for that he’d never forgive himself, but she wasn’t safe as long as she was in his life. Not as long as Senator Thomas walked a free man. “They let you go? Over this? We’ll fight them. They can’t do this. We’ll—”
“I quit Causing A Commotion this afternoon,” he interrupted before she launched an all out war against Wolf.
Confusion shined in her eyes. “I don’t understand. You said Maxwell was gone. Why leave?”
“Because my stint as a talk show host was never anything more than my hiding from my real life, Jessie. For your role in helping me see that, I’ll always be grateful. For your role in helping me gather the evidence needed against Senator Thomas, I’ll also always be grateful.” He met her gaze and called upon acting skills he hadn’t known he possessed, but knew he’d need to get him through this next part. “I’m moving on with my life. Something I should have done years ago.”
Jessie laughed nervously. “It almost sounds like you’re breaking up with me, Colin.”
“I suppose I am. Whatever was between us is over. I’m leaving for Washington in the morning.”
“No.” Jessie’s fists clenched at her side and her green eyes flashed fire.
“What?”
“You heard me. I said no. I won’t let you go.” She appeared immobile, ready to fight to hold her stance.
Part of him wanted to take her in his arms and hold her forever. The other part reminded that if he stayed he was putting her life in danger, real danger. One woman had already died because of him. He wouldn’t risk another. Wouldn’t risk Jessie.
The only way to remove the danger was to stay away until he knew the truth and put Senator Thomas behind bars permanently. Perhaps even then anyone Colin cared about wouldn’t be safe.
“You don’t have a choice. I’m putting my life of the past couple of years behind me and don’t want any part of it in my future. I’m taking a lead investigative reporting position with Wolf and will be working in Washington for a while.”
“We’ll no longer be working together? Perhaps that’s for the best. From the beginning you said our sleeping together and working together would be problematic.”
“We won’t be sleeping together.”
“Why not?” Her jaw jutted out with defiance of any answer he gave.
“Because I don’t love you.”
“Is that all?” She sighed. “I’ve never once asked for you to love me in return.”
“In return?” He hated himself for asking, but the question slipped out. She’d said in return.
“After the past couple of days, you have to know how I feel.”
She loved him. It’s what she was implying. What he refused to say or to hear her say. This was already hard enough. Thinking that she loved him, or at least thought she did, would only cloud the issues. The issues being Senator Thomas could be responsible for Karen’s death. Any woman Colin was involved with was in danger.
He wouldn’t risk Jessie’s life.
He’d already risked it one time too many. Because he was sure Maxwell or Senator Thomas was behind the spray paint, electrocution, and coffee although it hadn’t been proven yet. It would be. With Marian’s help, Colin accessed areas of Wolf’s security cams that he hadn’t known existed. Cameras he hoped would lead to something that would link either of the men to the incidents.
“I don’t want your affections.”
“Too bad, because my heart belongs to you all the same.”
He hated what he was going to do, but, damn it, she was too stubborn to pay him any heed unless he hurt her. She wouldn’t let him just walk away. He should have known she wouldn’t. If he’d left without saying goodbye, she’d follow. He had to destroy any feelings she had for him. Even if it meant permanently doing so. For her safety, he’d do whatever it took.
“Jessie, from the beginning I used you. My intention all along was to get you off Causing A Commotion.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I was working for Marian all along. She wanted me to get you away from Wolf, away from Maxwell. She promised me my old show back if I got rid of you by whatever means necessary. Now, that isn’t an issue. You’re a big girl, figure it out.”
“You had sex with me to get me to quit Wolf?”
He shrugged. “Not just. You’re a sexy woman and the attraction was real. Had all this other not panned out, it would have worked. Your pattern is to love ‘em and leave ‘em.”
“My pattern?”
“I told you on the day we met that you shouldn’t underestimate me. That you shouldn’t ever trust me.”
Her expression was so transparent he could see the memory flash. “And?”
“I researched you. You’re predictable when it comes to men. You sleep with them, but when they try to get close you run.”
“How can you say that? I’ve been engaged.” Her eyes flashed with anger. “And Steve left me.”
“Funny thing about Steve. I’ve talked with him several times over the past few days. We had an interesting conversation about you.”
“You talked about me with one of my exes?”
“Actually, a couple of your exes. Eric Ewing and I also had an interesting chat the day he was on Causing A Commotion. I like to rely on more than one source when researching a person.”
“You jerk.”
“I’ve never pretended to be otherwise.”
“Yes, you did.”
“No, Jessie, I didn’t. Any better qualities you think you’ve seen in me, you’ve given me on your own. I’ve never been someone you should rely on.”
Her eyes closed, and she swayed enough that he fought stepping forward to prevent her from falling.
“This has all been about you?”
“Yes.”
“The spray paint, the frayed wires, the coffee? Was that you, too?”
Colin hesitated. He couldn’t take a chance on her figuring out that he was trying to protect her. And she would figure it out if he gave her even the slightest breadcrumb of the truth.
“You’re too smart for your own good.”
Her eyes grew wide with disbelief. “You didn’t.”
“I’m not admitting to anything, but, let’s just say, I wanted you off my show and wasn’t above playing dirty.”
She stared at him, her face slowly contorting with her anger and possibly even hatred. “I think you should leave.”
“I intend to, but I had to come by to thank you for the past week and for helping me solve my case.” He bit back the bile in his throat. “I got much more than I bargained for out of sleeping with you.”
“Out.” She pointed at the door and at any moment he expected her to start slinging things at his head. “Out now.”
“Have a good lif
e, Jessie.”
With wild eyes, she glanced around, picked up the paperback of erotic poetry from her coffee table and flung it at him. “Get out!”
Chapter Twenty
With Marian Arnold’s blessing, Causing A Commotion went live before an audience on the following Monday afternoon. Jessie hadn’t wanted to wait to return to work and after having a face-to-face meeting with the new company head, she’d known she didn’t want to leave the show. Not even when she got a call offering her a lead in what was expected to be a blockbuster film. Oddly enough, she hadn’t felt tempted.
J.P. and Jessie rearranged some of the show’s features, added in Tamara’s segment, and ignored the Fun for Colin emails still pouring in despite the fact Jessie now soloed the show. In frustration, she’d written her own Fun for Colin email. Dozens of them. Mostly ones that involved tree branches and a short rope around his neck.
She’d also written a real one. One in which she asked for a fantasy. Not that it mattered. It wasn’t as if anyone other than her would ever read them, anyway.
One day led into another and then another.
Jessie didn’t date. She’d discovered on the night Colin got out of jail that a broken heart was an excellent cure for fear of being alone. She’d cried so much that not once had the thought she was at the apartment alone entered her mind. The next day, when she’d crawled from bed and realized, she’d been too exhausted to care. Now, she liked her new found freedom.
No more phobias about traveling in an elevator alone. No more phobias about facing four walls alone. No more panic at being alone, period. For that, she owed Colin thanks.
For the gaping hole in her chest…well, she didn’t begrudge the fact she loved him. She loved and that was a special gift.
For the first time in her life, she’d truly loved a man. Someone she’d been willing to sacrifice for and to give freely to. The fact that he hadn’t appreciated or wanted her emotions didn’t diminish the fact that she loved Colin.
“You’re looking thoughtful. Too thoughtful. What’s going on?” J.P. asked when he entered the conference room. Jessie had been the first to arrive, but the entire staff of Causing A Commotion had been called together to meet with J.P. and to formulate what direction the show would head. A month had passed, and they’d improvised on the segments, guests, and sponsors already set up for the show. The time had come to plan for the future.
“I was thinking about love,” she admitted.
J.P. grinned, waggling his brows. “Ain’t it grand?”
Jessie smiled. “I take it things are still going well with Beverly?”
“If you can call being bossed to death well,” he bemoaned, but the smile on his face gave him away. “The woman made me go to the doctor yesterday afternoon.”
“Are you okay?” she asked. J.P. was like a favorite uncle. She couldn’t imagine anything ever happening to him. Or what she’d do if it did. “What did he say?”
“It’s the arthritis.” J.P. shook his head. “Apparently I’m eat up with the stuff, but he prescribed me this new pill and,” he took a deep breath, “I have to admit getting out of bed was a whole lot easier than normal this morning.”
“Thank goodness.” Relief flooded her. “You scared me.”
“No reason to be scared. I’m fit as a horse other than the arthritis.” J.P. scowled. “And that damn boy doctor would know since he checked me inside and out.”
Jessie kissed his cheek. “You were probably way overdue for a check-up so I’m glad Beverly made you go.”
“What’s he complaining about this time?” Beverly asked, coming into the room and overhearing her name.
“About how much he enjoyed latex examining gloves,” Jessie answered, earning a glare from J.P. and a conspiratorial grin from Beverly.
The woman glowed. And looked ten years younger. Being in love apparently had a profound effect on women. Was that how she’d looked with Colin?
She sighed. She had to stop thinking about him. At least, not while she was at work. Which was difficult to do as everywhere she looked reminded her of him. But, he’d disappeared from her life and she refused to let that get her down. Much. At least not outside the private confines of her bedroom.
“Is he still harping on that?” Beverly set her worn brown briefcase that she always carried onto the table, then pecked a kiss onto J.P.’s cheek.
J.P. growled something low and swatted her bottom playfully. Beverly laughed and smacked at his hand.
Jessie felt like a total fifth wheel, grateful that several other crewmembers came into the room.
Tamara sat down beside her. “You okay?”
Jessie nodded.
“You’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?” Tamara sent her a sympathetic smile. “Never mind, don’t answer that because I already know the answer.”
“Am I that obvious?”
“Maybe not to the rest of the world.” Tamara shrugged. “But I know better.”
The meeting went well, and they brainstormed several ideas for future shows and segments, including some that would require Jessie to do some traveling. She looked forward to that. Other than the few times she’d worked on films shot outside of California and her Jane Millionaire stint, she’d never left the state.
Maybe the traveling would distract her from her broken heart.
* * *
The next afternoon, Jessie arrived at the studio early.
J.P. met her in the hallway and pulled a cigar from his pocket. “I take it you saw last night’s news?”
J.P. stuck the cigar in the corner of his mouth and dread filled her. A thousand horrid thoughts flashed through her mind.
All of them involving something happening to Colin.
“What’s happened?”
“You haven’t heard?”
“Tamara and I never turned the television on last night.” They’d gone out to a charity dinner raising money for literacy and then had stopped by to pick up a half-gallon of Ben and Jerry’s on the way home. A half-gallon they’d devoured while gabbing over life, men, and love. “Was Colin on last night’s news?”
“On it?” J.P.’s bushy white brows rose and the cigar dangled from his mouth. “Colin was the news. He busted that Senator and one of his assistants for the murder of Karen Bennett.”
“Are you serious?”
“Apparently, he got to one of the Senator’s right hand men, Paul Martin. Once Colin got to the man, the guy spilt the truth about everything. The Senator had it out for Colin because of all the trouble Colin caused over his campaign funds and when someone started snooping around, asking questions about the military contracts, the Senator assumed Colin was behind it.”
“The spray paint.”
J.P. nodded. “Apparently, the Senator had a Wolf employee in his pocket and when he started feeling the pressure of Colin getting too close to the truth he decided to warn Colin to stay away.”
“The wires. The coffee.”
“The wires were probably meant for Colin. Another warning.” J.P. scowled. “The coffee, well, as Colin’s girlfriend, that might have been meant for you.”
“I wasn’t his girlfriend.”
J.P. gave her a funny look. “What would you have called it?”
There wasn’t really a label that worked for what she and Colin shared. More than a one night stand, but not a relationship. At least not a real one. He’d used her, but for her, it felt like so much more.
“We had sex,” she finally said.
“You know,” J.P. regarded her with a wry look. “You once said that about Steve, and I believed you. With Colin, I don’t.”
“You should, because that’s all we shared.”
“I was in that car that day,” he reminded.
“Fine.”
“Fine?” J.P. had the audacity to laugh. “Fine what?”
“Fine. You were in the car.”
He laughed again. “Do you still love him?”
“No.”
“If he
came back into your life and begged you to forgive him, you’d tell him no? That it was all about sex and to get lost?”
“That’s exactly what I’d tell him, but I’m glad he got the jerk who was behind this. Surely between the military contract kickbacks and murdering a woman, this guy will rot in jail.” Glad they stood outside her dressing room, Jessie unlocked the door. “See you at show time.”
“Jess?”
She paused.
“Senator Thomas shot himself last night moments before the police got to his house. He died instantly.”
“Oh God.” With that she pasted a smile on her face and headed into her room for Elaine to do her make-up. The moment she closed the door, she leaned against it, fighting nausea and dizziness.
The truth hit her hard.
Colin had left her and gone after Senator Thomas.
* * *
Colin’s life had been one big whirlwind for the past month. As promised, he’d given Wolf an exclusive on the story and they’d been the first to air the information on the senator. He’d been tied up in Washington giving statements and working with Jessie’s ex, Steve Jernigan, to make sure the other culprits on the military contracts paid for their illegal activities.
All in all, the past month had been one of exorcising the past. And he had.
