On the Makaloa Mat and Island Tales

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by On The Makaloa Mat

not the croaking of sick toads and googly-eyed corpses about me

  still afoot on their shaky legs. I'll be that way soon enough if I

  live long enough. And it will be my everlasting regret if I don't

  live long enough. Why in hell did I sink that last twenty thousand

  into Curtis's plantation? Howard warned me the slump was coming,

  but I thought it was the square-face making him lie. And Curtis

  has blown his brains out, and his head luna has run away with his

  daughter, and the sugar chemist has got typhoid, and everything's

  going to smash.'

  "He clapped his hands for his servants, and commanded: 'Bring me

  my singing boys. And the hula dancers--plenty of them. And send

  for old Howard. Somebody's got to pay, and I'll shorten his six

  months of life by a month. But above all, music. Let there be

  music. It is stronger than drink, and quicker than opium.'

  "He with his music druggery! It was his father, the old savage,

  who was entertained on board a French frigate, and for the first

  time heard an orchestra. When the little concert was over, the

  captain, to find which piece he liked best, asked which piece he'd

  like repeated. Well, when grandfather got done describing, what

  piece do you think it was?"

  I gave up, while the Prince lighted a fresh cigarette.

  "Why, it was the first one, of course. Not the real first one, but

  the tuning up that preceded it."

  I nodded, with eyes and face mirthful of appreciation, and Prince

  Akuli, with another apprehensive glance at the old wahine and her

  half-made hala lei, returned to his tale of the bones of his

  ancestors.

  "It was somewhere around this stage of the game that old Ahuna gave

  in to Hiwilani. He didn't exactly give in. He compromised.

  That's where I come in. If he would bring her the bones of her

  mother, and of her grandfather (who was the father of Kaaukuu, and

  who by tradition was rumoured to have been even bigger than his

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  giant son, she would return to Ahuna the bait of his hair she was

  praying him to death with. He, on the other hand, stipulated that

  he was not to reveal to her the secret burial-place of all the alii

  of Lakanaii all the way back. Nevertheless, he was too old to dare

  the adventure alone, must be helped by some one who of necessity

  would come to know the secret, and I was that one. I was the

  highest alii, beside my father and mother, and they were no higher

  than I.

  "So I came upon the scene, being summoned into the twilight room to

  confront those two dubious old ones who dealt with the dead. They

  were a pair--mother fat to despair of helplessness, Ahuna thin as a

  skeleton and as fragile. Of her one had the impression that if she

  lay down on her back she could not roll over without the aid of

  block-and-tackle; of Ahuna one's impression was that the tooth-

  pickedness of him would shatter to splinters if one bumped into

  him.

  "And when they had broached the matter, there was more pilikia"

  (trouble). "My father's attitude stiffened my resolution. I

  refused to go on the bone-snatching expedition. I said I didn't

  care a whoop for the bones of all the aliis of my family and race.

  You see, I had just discovered Jules Verne, loaned me by old

  Howard, and was reading my head off. Bones? When there were North

  Poles, and Centres of Earths, and hairy comets to ride across space

  among the stars! Of course I didn't want to go on any bone-

  snatching expedition. I said my father was able-bodied, and he

  could go, splitting equally with her whatever bones he brought

  back. But she said he was only a blamed collector--or words to

  that effect, only stronger.

  "'I know him,' she assured me. 'He'd bet his mother's bones on a

  horse-race or an ace-full.'

  "I stood with fat her when it came to modern scepticism, and I told

  her the whole thing was rubbish. 'Bones?' I said. 'What are

  bones? Even field mice, and many rats, and cockroaches have bones,

  though the roaches wear their bones outside their meat instead of

  inside. The difference between man and other animals,' I told her,

  'is not bones, but brain. Why, a bullock has bigger bones than a

  man, and more than one fish I've eaten has more bones, while a

  whale beats creation when it comes to bone.'

  "It was frank talk, which is our Hawaiian way, as you have long

  since learned. In return, equally frank, she regretted she hadn't

  given me away as a feeding child when I was born. Next she

  bewailed that she had ever borne me. From that it was only a step

  to anaana me. She threatened me with it, and I did the bravest

  thing I have ever done. Old Howard had given me a knife of many

  blades, and corkscrews, and screw-drivers, and all sorts of

  contrivances, including a tiny pair of scissors. I proceeded to

  pare my finger-nails.

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  "'There,' I said, as I put the parings into her hand. 'Just to

  show you what I think of it. There's bait and to spare. Go on and

  anaana me if you can.'

  "I have said it was brave. It was. I was only fifteen, and I had

  lived all my days in the thick of the mystery stuff, while my

  scepticism, very recently acquired, was only skin-deep. I could be

  a sceptic out in the open in the sunshine. But I was afraid of the

  dark. And in that twilight room, the bones of the dead all about

  me in the big jars, why, the old lady had me scared stiff. As we

  say to-day, she had my goat. Only I was brave and didn't let on.

  And I put my bluff across, for my mother flung the parings into my

  face and burst into tears. Tears in an elderly woman weighing

  three hundred and twenty pounds are scarcely impressive, and I

  hardened the brassiness of my bluff.

  "She shifted her attack, and proceeded to talk with the dead. Nay,

  more, she summoned them there, and, though I was all ripe to see

  but couldn't, Ahuna saw the father of Kaaukuu in the corner and lay

  down on the floor and yammered. Just the same, although I almost

  saw the old giant, I didn't quite see him.

  "'Let him talk for himself,' I said. But Hiwilani persisted in

  doing the talking for him, and in laying upon me his solemn

  injunction that I must go with Ahuna to the burial-place and bring

  back the bones desired by my mother. But I argued that if the dead

  ones could be invoked to kill living men by wasting sicknesses, and

  that if the dead ones could transport themselves from their burial-

  crypts into the corner of her room, I couldn't see why they

  shouldn't leave their bones behind them, there in her room and

  ready to be jarred, when they said good-bye and departed for the

  middle world, the over world, or the under world, or wherever they

  abided when they weren't paying social calls.

  "Whereupon mother let loose on poor old Ahuna, or let loose upon

  him the ghost of Kaaukuu's father, supposed to be crouching there
<
br />   in the corner, who commanded Ahuna to divulge to her the burial-

  place. I tried to stiffen him up, telling him to let the old ghost

  divulge the secret himself, than whom nobody else knew it better,

  seeing that he had resided there upwards of a century. But Ahuna

  was old school. He possessed no iota of scepticism. The more

  Hiwilani frightened him, the more he rolled on the floor and the

  louder he yammered.

  "But when he began to bite himself, I gave in. I felt sorry for

  him; but, over and beyond that, I began to admire him. He was

  sterling stuff, even if he was a survival of darkness. Here, with

  the fear of mystery cruelly upon him, believing Hiwilani's dope

  implicitly, he was caught between two fidelities. She was his

  living alii, his alii kapo" (sacred chiefess). "He must be

  faithful to her, yet more faithful must he be to all the dead and

  gone aliis of her line who depended solely on him that their bones

  should not be disturbed.

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  "I gave in. But I, too, imposed stipulations. Steadfastly had my

  father, new school, refused to let me go to England for my

  education. That sugar was slumping was reason sufficient for him.

  Steadfastly had my mother, old school, refused, her heathen mind

  too dark to place any value on education, while it was shrewd

  enough to discern that education led to unbelief in all that was

  old. I wanted to study, to study science, the arts, philosophy, to

  study everything old Howard knew, which enabled him, on the edge of

  the grave, undauntedly to sneer at superstition, and to give me

  Jules Verne to read. He was an Oxford man before he went wild and

  wrong, and it was he who had set the Oxford bee buzzing in my

  noddle.

  "In the end Ahuna and I, old school and new school leagued

  together, won out. Mother promised that she'd make father send me

  to England, even if she had to pester him into a prolonged drinking

  that would make his digestion go back on him. Also, Howard was to

  accompany me, so that I could decently bury him in England. He was

  a queer one, old Howard, an individual if there ever was one. Let

  me tell you a little story about him. It was when Kalakaua was

  starting on his trip around the world. You remember, when

  Armstrong, and Judd, and the drunken valet of a German baron

  accompanied him. Kalakaua made the proposition to Howard . . . "

  But here the long-apprehended calamity fell upon Prince Akuli. The

  old wahine had finished her lei hala. Barefooted, with no

  adornment of femininity, clad in a shapeless shift of much-washed

  cotton, with age-withered face and labour-gnarled hands, she

  cringed before him and crooned a mele in his honour, and, still

  cringing, put the lei around his neck. It is true the hala smelled

  most freshly strong, yet was the act beautiful to me, and the old

  woman herself beautiful to me. My mind leapt into the Prince's

  narrative so that to Ahuna I could not help likening her.

  Oh, truly, to be an alii in Hawaii, even in this second decade of

  the twentieth century, is no light thing. The alii, utterly of the

  new, must be kindly and kingly to those old ones absolutely of the

  old. Nor did the Prince without a kingdom, his loved island long

  since annexed by the United States and incorporated into a

  territory along with the rest of the Hawaiian Islands--nor did the

  Prince betray his repugnance for the odour of the hala. He bowed

  his head graciously; and his royal condescending words of pure

  Hawaiian I knew would make the old woman's heart warm until she

  died with remembrance of the wonderful occasion. The wry grimace

  he stole to me would not have been made had he felt any uncertainty

  of its escaping her.

  "And so," Prince Akuli resumed, after the wahine had tottered away

  in an ecstasy, "Ahuna and I departed on our grave-robbing

  adventure. You know the Iron-bound Coast."

  I nodded, knowing full well the spectacle of those lava leagues of

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  weather coast, truly iron-bound so far as landing-places or

  anchorages were concerned, great forbidding cliff-walls thousands

  of feet in height, their summits wreathed in cloud and rain squall,

  their knees hammered by the trade-wind billows into spouting,

  spuming white, the air, from sea to rain-cloud, spanned by a myriad

  leaping waterfalls, provocative, in day or night, of countless sun

  and lunar rainbows. Valleys, so called, but fissures rather, slit

  the cyclopean walls here and there, and led away into a lofty and

  madly vertical back country, most of it inaccessible to the foot of

  man and trod only by the wild goat.

  "Precious little you know of it," Prince Akuli retorted, in reply

  to my nod. "You've seen it only from the decks of steamers. There

  are valleys there, inhabited valleys, out of which there is no exit

  by land, and perilously accessible by canoe only on the selected

  days of two months in the year. When I was twenty-eight I was over

  there in one of them on a hunting trip. Bad weather, in the

  auspicious period, marooned us for three weeks. Then five of my

  party and myself swam for it out through the surf. Three of us

  made the canoes waiting for us. The other two were flung back on

  the sand, each with a broken arm. Save for us, the entire party

  remained there until the next year, ten months afterward. And one

  of them was Wilson, of Wilson & Wall, the Honolulu sugar factors.

  And he was engaged to be married.

  "I've seen a goat, shot above by a hunter above, land at my feet a

  thousand yards underneath. BELIEVE me, that landscape seemed to

  rain goats and rocks for ten minutes. One of my canoemen fell off

  the trail between the two little valleys of Aipio and Luno. He hit

  first fifteen hundred feet beneath us, and fetched up in a ledge

  three hundred feet farther down. We didn't bury him. We couldn't

  get to him, and flying machines had not yet been invented. His

  bones are there now, and, barring earthquake and volcano, will be

  there when the Trumps of Judgment sound.

  "Goodness me! Only the other day, when our Promotion Committee,

  trying to compete with Honolulu for the tourist trade, called in

  the engineers to estimate what it would cost to build a scenic

  drive around the Iron-bound Coast, the lowest figures were a

  quarter of a million dollars a mile!

  "And Ahuna and I, an old man and a young boy, started for that

  stern coast in a canoe paddled by old men! The youngest of them,

  the steersman, was over sixty, while the rest of them averaged

  seventy at the very least. There were eight of them, and we

  started in the night-time, so that none should see us go. Even

  these old ones, trusted all their lives, knew no more than the

  fringe of the secret. To the fringe, only, could they take us.

  "And the fringe was--I don't mind telling that much--the fringe was

  Ponuloo Valley. We got the
re the third afternoon following. The

  old chaps weren't strong on the paddles. It was a funny

  expedition, into such wild waters, with now one and now another of

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  our ancient-mariner crew collapsing and even fainting. One of them

  actually died on the second morning out. We buried him overside.

  It was positively uncanny, the heathen ceremonies those grey ones

  pulled off in burying their grey brother. And I was only fifteen,

  alii kapo over them by blood of heathenness and right of hereditary

  heathen rule, with a penchant for Jules Verne and shortly to sail

  for England for my education! So one learns. Small wonder my

  father was a philosopher, in his own lifetime spanning the history

  of man from human sacrifice and idol worship, through the religions

  of man's upward striving, to the Medusa of rank atheism at the end

  of it all. Small wonder that, like old Ecclesiastes, he found

  vanity in all things and surcease in sugar stocks, singing boys,

  and hula dancers."

  Prince Akuli debated with his soul for an interval.

  "Oh, well," he sighed, "I have done some spanning of time myself."

  He sniffed disgustedly of the odour of the hala lei that stifled

  him. "It stinks of the ancient." he vouchsafed. "I? I stink of

  the modern. My father was right. The sweetest of all is sugar up

  a hundred points, or four aces in a poker game. If the Big War

  lasts another year, I shall clean up three-quarters of a million

  over a million. If peace breaks to-morrow, with the consequent

  slump, I could enumerate a hundred who will lose my direct bounty,

  and go into the old natives' homes my father and I long since

  endowed for them."

  He clapped his hands, and the old wahine tottered toward him in an

  excitement of haste to serve. She cringed before him, as he drew

  pad and pencil from his breast pocket.

  "Each month, old woman of our old race," he addressed her, "will

  you receive, by rural free delivery, a piece of written paper that

  you can exchange with any storekeeper anywhere for ten dollars

  gold. This shall be so for as long as you live. Behold! I write

  the record and the remembrance of it, here and now, with this

  pencil on this paper. And this is because you are of my race and

  service, and because you have honoured me this day with your mats

  to sit upon and your thrice-blessed and thrice-delicious lei hala."

 

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