I drew a deep breath. I looked at the two of the most sensible people I knew and asked one last question. “Would you do it if she was your mom?”
Tep’s eyes widened, but Feru shook his head. “That’s not a good way to make a decision, Shalia. Your circumstances with her are unique to you.”
“I know. I’m going to go through with it and have Meyso do the procedure. I’m just curious as to how you two would handle it.”
Feru smiled at me like a proud parent, though I don’t think he’s any older than Betra. “I’d do it.”
Tep nodded. “Based on what I know about your mother, me too. I hope that helps you. It’s a huge responsibility.”
I sighed. “No kidding.”
He patted my hand and Feru gave me an encouraging hug. So there you have it. Into the abyss.
Straight from my meeting with Tep and Feru, I dropped off Anrel with Betra. My next stop was to work with my new physical trainer, Nobek Surech. With Resan out of commission from his injuries for the rest of the trip, the duty of keeping me in shape fell to this guy.
Surech has an amazing body, always a good sign from someone who’s supposed to get others into their best physical shape. His face was attractive enough I suppose, but in an unremarkable way. Average, certainly no Nobek Stidmun. He had a few scars on his arms and legs, left bare by a pair of workout shorts, so he’s seen some fights.
He’s a Nobek and one who has obviously seen action in his time, and yet at first I likened him to a ray of sunshine. Compared to Resan, Surech is a sweetheart – an absolute vacation. Okay, so I exaggerate. He put Katrina, Candy, and I to work with jogging, lifting, and stretching. Yet there was a noticeable lack of vicious insults and screaming. No attempts to humiliate me. He was downright friendly with encouragement. We heard a lot of “Good job!” during our workout.
Yet I noted he didn’t push us nearly as hard as Resan did. When I told him that I didn’t feel as much strain as usual during deadlifts – something Resan would have caught right away without me saying a word – Surech asked if I wanted to add a little to the load. He didn’t insist I work harder or even suggest it. He asked if I wanted to work harder. I’ll admit to being taken aback by that. Wasn’t he supposed to make sure I didn’t coast?
Plus he kept trying to start conversations with me and Candy. Resan was always about concentrating on the workout. “If you’re running your big mouths, you’re not working hard enough!” he liked to yell. Yet Surech kept asking all about what we did when we weren’t training, if the dance club would be up and running before the trip was out and he expected an invitation, and my least favorite subject of how I went all commando on the Tragooms when they boarded the ship.
It didn’t take long for me to figure out Surech was more interested in flirting with us single gals than training us. We pretty much ended up coaching ourselves and keeping an eye on each other to make sure no one slacked off.
No, I do not miss Resan. I am more than happy he’s in his own physical rehab hell right now, far away from me. Still, it would be nice to have a trainer who treats me like a serious project. Oses and Idow are prime examples of that.
With keeping fit and fighting ready heavy on my mind, I made it a point to research the Matara Complex’s exercise classes. I hoped to find something on the menu to continue the path I was on. I may never have to face Dramok Nang in a physical situation, and heaven knows there’s not much likelihood of me having to take on Tragooms again, but I like the confidence working out and weapons training gives me.
I was chagrined but not really surprised to find no such classes being offered at the complex. Bouncing Anrel on my knee as she amused herself by blowing spit bubbles, I commed Larten.
He picked up almost immediately, his dark face already smiling. His grin grew larger yet when he saw Anrel on the vid. “Two beauties! How did I get so lucky?”
“You big charmer,” I said, pretending I wasn’t squirming inside with pleasure at his greeting. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
“You’re right. I say it to the mothers of my clan as well.”
I laughed. “And I bet they eat it up.”
“Indeed.” Nobek through and through, Larten didn’t do small talk too well, so he went straight for the heart of whatever my matter was. “What can I do for you, Shalia? Name your heart’s desire so I can make it happen.”
Ha, he might be to the point, but he still does it as a flirtatious scoundrel. “Training specialists. The Matara Complex doesn’t offer anything I want. Even their strength workouts look a little light for my tastes.”
Larten nodded. “I will be delighted to take up your blade instruction for as long as you’ll have me. If you think it would be too awkward should my clan not win your heart, I can find you someone else with exemplary standards.”
A part of me wanted to refute his statement that we wouldn’t end up being compatible, but wasn’t that just me being nice? Larten was being sensible about the matter; his pride didn’t need to be led on by a promise I might not want to keep later. However, I thought having him as a trainer for the immediate future would be fine and said so.
“Good. That leaves finding you a physical trainer, along with an offensive specialist. I might know someone who can do both. Let me look into it.”
“Thanks Larten,” I said. Anrel blew foaming bubbles at him, which he seemed to find amusing.
After telling her how gorgeous and wonderful and brave she was, Larten turned his attention to me once more. “Cifa was talking about us taking a cruise once you get to Kalquor. Should I call him in to discuss it, or is now not a good time?”
Is there ever a bad time to talk to Imdiko Cifa? I can’t imagine it. “Sure, I have an hour for him to lose his mind over Anrel before talking about taking me on the vacation of a lifetime.”
Larten chuckled and called for his clanmates. “I have Shalia and Anrel on com!”
Cifa and Seot were in view within seconds. As expected, Cifa gushed over the baby for as long as we let him. He did give me a sweet greeting before getting lost in Anrel worship.
“She’s growing so fast!” he said, his expression registering some disappointment over that. “By the time she gets here, she’ll be a young lady instead of a baby for me to hold.”
“In a little over a week? I don’t think you have to worry about that,” I snorted. “She’ll still be small enough for you to cuddle by the time you meet face to face.” Especially since Cifa is a couple inches over six-and-a-half feet.
“It feels like forever,” he groaned. Cifa’s more baby-happy than a first-time grandmother.
Devastatingly handsome Seot chuckled over his Imdiko’s desperate need to get at Anrel. “You both look to be in perfect health. I’m glad to see it,” he told me in that spine-shivering deep voice of his.
“Yeah, I’m glad to see how healthy you three look too,” I said in a meaningful voice. Clan Seot never fails to wake my libido up and get it hopping in an instant.
I earned some snickers for that. “Glad you’re not bored with the view yet,” Seot joked.
Was he kidding? His clan is a triple threat for panty-dampening. They’d already won that round.
“What’s this about a cruise?” I asked to distract myself from thoughts that would have me rubbing up anything that would stand still for it.
“I – I mean my family’s company – has a new ship we’re launching in a few weeks. We’d like to take you on its inaugural cruise,” Cifa said.
“Oh, the latest and grandest of the fleet?” I asked. I’d looked up Cifa’s sea-going cruise line. The company belonging to him and his siblings had the finest ships on Kalquor’s largest ocean, offering luxury on a scale that would make a trillionaire salivate.
“Actually, it’s the smallest vessel we’ve ever had,” he said. “Just big enough for four full clans. But each voyage features the finest chefs of the Galactic Council’s member planets, a team of stewards assigned exclusively to each guest, famous entertainers,
and stops at the most luxurious locations on the planet. It’s all the grandeur of a high-end cruise without the crowds.”
“Wow,” I said, impressed by the sales pitch. “It sounds amazing. I’d love to go.” Then I remembered the r-word, as in responsibility. That hideous monstrosity reared its ugly head. “But my mom is having surgery pretty soon after we arrive. I don’t know how long her recovery will be.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Cifa urged. “If you can’t make the first trip, we’ll take you as soon as you can go.”
Seot nodded. “Your mother comes first. Please take all the time you need to care for her. You will let us know if there is anything we can do to help?”
I smiled at the offer, so quickly voiced. “Thank you.”
When it’s the four of us, we end up talking for ages. However, Anrel was there, and babies don’t enjoy long conversations when they get hungry and wet. Much sooner than any of us wanted, we had to say our goodbyes.
“I’ll try to have some potential trainers lined up by the time you get to Kalquor,” Larten promised. “But with only a few days until that happens, there might be a delay.”
I felt a jolt in my guts, but I hid it with a grateful smile. “I appreciate it.”
We clicked off, and I set about taking care of Anrel’s needs. My stomach churned as I did so.
Just a few days until the trip was over. Holy shit, we’ll be on Kalquor in seven days.
My head reeled. Where had the last few days melted off to? How had we gotten so close to the end of the journey so soon?
It was the idea of someone other than Oses training me in offensive tactics that had my heart pounding and my brain whirling. Someone else would be my first line of defense. Oh no. Oh God no.
I hardly remember leaving my quarters. I certainly didn’t remember grabbing Anrel’s diaper bag, but when Candy opened her door at my frantic summons, I thrust it at her.
“Can you watch the baby? Please? I have to see Oses!”
“Sure, Shalia,” my friend said, her eyes as wide as dinner plates as she took the bag and Anrel from me. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes. I mean, no! No it’s okay, it’s just we’re almost to Kalquor and ... and I need to see Oses!”
Okay, I was a raving lunatic. I know that. But my heart hurt with the coming separation, having been caught by a sudden sense of loss. Apparently the grieving process was in full swing.
Candy, bless her, gave me a look of understanding sympathy. “Go. Anrel will be here when you get back.”
I barely heard the last few words as I was already running down the corridor to the in-ship transport.
I paced the elevator-like conveyance as it took me to the weapons commander’s work level. Tears threatened as I achieved enough sense to use my portable com. His voice brought them spilling down my cheeks as his voice rumbled from the device. “Yes, Shalia?”
“Can you see me in your office? Right now?”
He must have heard the state I was in from my voice. “I’m here, pet. Come as quick as you can.”
“I’m on your level now,” I said as the door opened. I clicked the com off and raced to him.
He was on his feet waiting in front of his desk when I burst in. I had enough presence to yell, “Door close and lock,” before I threw myself into his arms. Bawling my head off, I peppered his worried face with a million desperate kisses.
“We’re almost there,” I sobbed as I clung to him. “We’re going to be on Kalquor soon and this will be over!”
“Easy, pet,” he murmured, holding me easily in those strong, scarred arms. “Easy. I’m here now. I’ll be on shore leave for two weeks after we reach the home world. You’ll still be able to talk to me after I’ve gone. You’re not losing me, Shalia.”
I wasn’t going to be soothed, however. The loss I’d known was coming was nearly upon me. I’d had sad moments off and on as I’d braced myself for moving on after Oses and Betra. But sorrow had crashed full strength on me when I wasn’t ready for it. It hit me and it wrecked me.
As I continued to cry, Oses seemed to realize words weren’t going to make things right. Without an enemy he could dismember or kill, he had only one other recourse. So he laid me down on his desk and pulled my clothes off.
With me a hysterical wreck, he didn’t waste time on the niceties. He licked two fingers and pushed them inside my pussy, his thumb playing over my clit at the same time. His other hand rubbed over my breasts with rough demand, stopping only to tug on my nipples to make them tighten into hard nubs.
I don’t know how things work for other women. I don’t know if my reaction was normal or weird. What I do know was that my extreme emotional state fed right into my libido. Fierce arousal woke in me, making me wet and hot all over in an instant.
His fingers plunged with steady, unrelenting strokes. I was burning down there, need flaming hot under his care. Eager arousal tickled through me, making my sobs transform into gasps. My hands closed over his wrist; not to urge him on and certainly not to stop him. I needed something to hold onto as he took me higher and higher with each demanding thrust.
His thumb brushed my clit again, sending sparklers dancing over my flesh. My hips jerked against his prodding. I was already on the verge of climax, my overwrought emotions grasping for any good they could find.
“That’s it, pet,” Oses rumbled, his expression one of a man who knows exactly the power he’s wielding over his woman. “You will come for me soon. Just a little more...”
He gave each of my breasts a stunning slap. The sharp pain took my breath away. Then it drained down to pool in my gut, mixing easily with the rampaging arousal already in place.
Oses left off my breasts, reaching down between my curled legs. He gripped my engorging clit and stroked it twice before brushing the tip of the flesh emerging from its hood.
I detonated in one mighty expulsion of sensation. My ass left the desk as I uncontrollably bucked. Chaos reigned as I took leave of the world around me.
Oses’s fingers drummed inside me faster than ever, his other hand working my clit to pull seizure after seizure from my body. He made me come until my guts ached from the contractions.
“No ... no more,” I gasped, kicking weakly. “Please...”
His fingers dove in, curling so that they rubbed right over the hot spot inside me. I squalled as another wave of ecstasy barreled through me. “I think it’s best if I take everything you have,” he said. His fingers gave my clit another stroke. His thumb swept over the swollen flesh. My pussy flexed harder than ever. Then he did it again, determined to wrench every last spasm from my flesh.
“Oses,” I moaned, helpless to stop him.
His dark face gave me an evil smile as he pushed me over one more time. Then his fingers slid free, leaving me dazed and shivering.
“Pretty little pet,” he crooned, leaning his weight over me to deliver a slow, searching kiss. His crotch pressed against mine, and I felt wetness on the fabric of his formsuit. My pussy gave a last weak lurch.
“All better?” he asked me.
I nodded. The sudden anguish had departed, leaving only the light sadness I’d come to know lately. “Grieving sucks,” I sighed. “Do you have an extra uniform in here, or should I fetch one from your quarters for you?”
He smiled at my offer. “I have one in the closet over there. Thank you for asking.”
“Thank you for taking care of me.” My arms hooked around his neck. “How am I going to say goodbye when the time comes?”
“The same way I will. With sorrow, but knowing it’s what must happen.” He gazed deep into my eyes. “You will not lose me, pet. We cannot be clan, but as you said before, we are family. The only way I am not a part of your life is when death claims me.”
“Warm, fuzzy feelings,” I griped, but I did feel a lot better. No matter where in the universe Oses and Betra’s duties sent them, we were all a part of each other. Distance would not change that.
So I’m okay ... until th
e next round of angst shows its ugly face.
September 15
With Katrina’s clanning ceremony out of the way, Candy’s focus seems to have disappeared. I catch her staring off into space all the time. She does a lot of sighing, sometimes happy and sometimes not.
She was playing with her food at breakfast this morning, her eyes distant. I’d asked her a question two minutes earlier, and she still hadn’t answered me. She’d gotten as far as “Um.” Then she fell silent as her mind went wherever it tends to vacation these days.
Shaking my head, I put Anrel’s bottle down and pushed my demolished tray away. “Helllloooo. Shalia calling Candy. Come in, Candy.”
She started and stared at me. “Huh?”
Shalia's Diary #8 Page 9
