She smiled, her gaze focused down. I tilted her chin.
“I meant that.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I still have trouble believing it.”
“I’m not the men in your past, Liv.”
She grabbed my hand, kissing the rough knuckles. “I know. God, I know that.”
“We’ve both been burned.”
“Yes.” She paused. “The accident—that’s the reason for your discomfort?”
“Yeah, it has left me with chronic pain. I deal with it most of the time, but when the job is hard, I suffer more.”
“I hate seeing you in pain.”
I acknowledged her words with a tilt of my head. “I try not to overdo, but at times, I forget. I get into the groove, and it’s not until I stop that I realize how much pain I’m in. I don’t like relying on medication. I’m careful that way.”
“Have you tried massage and reflexology?”
“Um, not really. I disliked being touched too much after the accident. Physio and therapy were enough.”
“I would come with you. My friend is an awesome reflexologist. She would even show me how to do a few things to help you.”
“You’d do that?” I asked, surprised.
“Yes. For you, I would.”
“Then please make an appointment.”
She leaned forward and brushed a kiss to my lips. “Thank you.”
“You’re so easy to please,” I murmured.
She shrugged. “I’ve learned to be grateful for small things. In the end, they make life worth living.”
I mulled over her words. She was right. I had a feeling she was right about a lot of things and was going to teach me.
I cleared my throat, knowing I had to address the issue. “Like I said before, I can’t ever have a child of my own. I can’t ever give you another child. There was too much damage.”
She leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my mouth. “I have Sammy.”
“You should have a whole houseful. You’re an amazing mother.”
She smiled. “Thank you.” Picking up my hand, she played with my fingers.
“Does it make a difference?” I asked, anxious. “If you wanted more kids in the future, I understand.”
She was quiet for a moment. “If you mean, does it change my mind about pursuing something with you, the answer is no.”
I exhaled hard. “Okay.” I linked our hands. “How I feel about you scares me at times, Liv.”
“Me too.”
“I still want to explore this with you.”
She sighed, the sound low and shaky. “I do as well. I worry about Sammy, though. She gets attached fast.”
I lifted her chin, meeting her gentle gaze.
“I’m getting attached to both of you. You need to know that. You need to know how big that is for me since I didn’t think I would ever allow myself to feel something for a woman again. I agree with you—we need to take this slow.” I studied her expression. “For all of us.”
“Yes,” she responded. “Slow is good for me.”
Her voice became vulnerable, her expression pleading. “The last two people I trusted turned out not to be the people I thought they were. They let me down. They let Sammy down. Don’t hurt us, Van. Please.”
I pressed my mouth to hers. “I won’t, baby.”
Van
Leaving Liv the night before had been hard, but I was determined to stick to my word. I arrived at the club Saturday feeling exhilarated. She would be there again tonight, and I planned on taking her to my favorite all-night diner after we were done for a late-night/early morning breakfast, then spending some more time with her.
Talking to her the night before had been cathartic. A release of sorts. I had never told another person my past. But Liv was different. She had been hurt by people she trusted, so she understood my pain. She could identify with the wariness of trusting someone else.
Yet, we both felt the pull toward each other. The firm belief that this was different. We were different. Her company eased me. Spending time with her and Mouse was effortless. I wanted to get to know both of them more. And for them to get to know me.
Liv had asked me some direct questions, all of which I thought about before answering.
“Sammy is my number one priority,” she said. “Always. Can you deal with that?”
“Yes. It’s one of the things I admire about you, Liv. You’re an amazing mother. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”
She hesitated. “The fact that she isn’t yours—does it give you pause?”
I shook my head. “Love doesn’t have boundaries, Liv. Simply because I’m not her biological father doesn’t mean I can’t love her.”
“Is she part of the draw? I mean, do you need to fill that void in your life, and she fits the bill?”
I mulled over her words, trying to find the right response.
“First and foremost, neither of you are simply filling a void. The fact is, I was always attracted to you. I only hesitated because of my own issues and doubts. Discovering you had a child didn’t scare me away. Seeing you with her only cemented the attraction. To me, Mouse is a bonus. I get two of you.” I sucked in a deep breath. “I’m prepared for the responsibility that comes with being involved with a single mother. I’m not in this for the short term.”
Her cheeks colored. “All right, then.”
“What about you? Can you trust me enough to let me into your life—into both of your lives?”
“I want to try.” She slid her hand into mine. “Like you, trust doesn’t usually come easy for me, but with you, it feels…right.”
I squeezed her fingers. “Yeah, it does. Like a puzzle piece, right?”
“Yes.”
I asked her a direct question which simmered below every thought I had about a future with her.
“And the fact that I can never give you another child? You must have some concerns on that subject.”
Her reply was prompt. “Sammy is more than I ever dreamed I would have.”
“You’re still young. You might want another child.”
She lifted my hand, studying the calluses left by hard work. “Do you know Reid’s story?”
“Yeah. He told me his past, or at least the gist of it. He went through a lot as a kid.”
She continued. “There are hundreds, thousands of kids like him, Van. Kids who need a family—someone to love them. If at some point, I decided I wanted another child, and we were together, how would you feel about loving one of those kids?” She paused. “Or a few of them if that was how it worked out? We could make our own family by loving a child no one else did. Love without boundaries, I think you said.”
My answer had been to tug her into my arms and kiss her until she was a mass of need and want under me. It had taken everything in me not to have her right then and there.
Her words gave me something I hadn’t felt in years.
Hope.
Hope for a future.
* * *
Mark walked into the dressing room at the club and flung himself into a chair beside me. We were all laid-back and wore our street clothes, so the dressing room was really the place we came together to chill before the gig and discuss any changes or ideas we had.
But tonight, he looked perturbed.
“What’s going on?”
He ran a hand through his hair. “We got company.”
Andy chuckled beside me, tipping back his chair. “One of your groupies getting too handsy?”
Mark gripped his hair. “Vicky’s in the club.”
A collective groan filled the room. I rested my head on the back of my chair. “I thought she’d finally left town. What is she doing here?”
“I didn’t stop to ask. As soon as I saw her, I ducked down the hall and came in here.”
“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” I said hopefully. “Maybe it’s a coincidence she’s here.”
“Maybe my dick will drop off if I don’t stop wanking on it the
way my mom told me,” Mark snorted. “If she’s here, it’s to cause trouble.”
“Only if we let her. Stay away from her. Don’t engage.” I looked at Andy. “Go tell Billy we want a security guy close tonight.”
He nodded and left the room. I gripped the back of my head. Of all the nights for Vicky to show up, why was it tonight? I didn’t want her anywhere near Liv. Vicky was poison, and she spread it as far as she could.
Andy returned and picked up his drumsticks. “We’re on in five. Billy said no problem. I looked around but couldn’t see her, so maybe she was here for a drink and left.”
I stood, grabbing my guitar. “If she’s here, ignore her. Don’t give her a reason to start anything.”
Mark bent down and picked up his bass. “You were the one she was focused on last. Maybe she has unfinished business?”
“There was no business. She was loony. She invented shit in her head, and it became real to her.” I slid my guitar strap over my shoulder, feeling the tension building. “Saying hello was the equivalent of an affair to her. She did it to all of us.”
I met the gaze of our lead singer, Alex. “She especially screwed you over.”
She’d almost cost him his marriage with her lies.
He looked grim remembering everything that had occurred.
“If she approaches any of us, we stick together. Don’t be alone with her. Don’t give her the chance.”
Alex flexed his shoulders. “Right. We stick together, lads,” he stated, his British accent thick.
I held out my hand, and we did our usual group fist bump.
“Together.”
* * *
Liv was at the same table, so it was easy to spot her. She had her hair swept up from her face and was dressed in leggings with some sort of glittery top. She looked casual and pretty—and entirely kissable. On the way to the stage, I stopped at the table and leaned down, indicating the burly security guard beside me.
“This is Brent. Stick close tonight, okay?”
“Is everything all right?”
“I’ll explain later, but promise me.”
“Okay.”
Resisting the urge to kiss her, I squeezed her shoulder and climbed onstage. My gaze swept the crowd, recognizing a lot of the patrons, but there was no sign of Vicky.
Maybe Mark had been mistaken.
Maybe Andy was right—she was here but left.
Alex met my eyes with a nod. I know he’d been looking as well.
“Ready?” he mouthed.
I tilted my head and he counted us down. I let the music take over and forgot about Vicky.
The crowd was enthusiastic and engaging tonight. We changed it up from the previous evening, adding a few different numbers. I stayed in the background until the end of the first set, then stepped forward and performed two songs. My gaze locked with Liv’s as I played “Smile for Me.” Her eyes glowed in the dim light, her smile bright and easy to see. It was there, just as I asked, for me, and I basked in its warmth.
After the applause, we took a break, and I sat beside Liv. Tonight, she was open and affectionate. I kissed her cheek, and we sat close, our fingers entwined. I tried not to laugh when a steaming mug appeared in front of me instead of my usual water.
“Your woman asked me to bring this,” Sherry informed me with a wink. “She had me make it special for you.”
I picked up the mug, letting the soothing herbal tea and honey coat my throat. I turned to press a kiss to Liv’s head in thanks when I saw her.
Tall, blond, and dangerous. Vicky leaned against the bar, her usual shot glass of tequila by her elbow. She stared at me balefully, her expression bitter and twisted.
My body froze. Her gaze moved from me to Liv, and a sneer crossed her face. She picked up her tequila, tossed it back, threw some money on the bar, and stomped away. She pushed her way through the crowd and disappeared out of the door.
“Van?” Liv asked. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You worried me earlier.”
I dropped a kiss to her head, relaxing now that Vicky had stormed out. “Sorry. Problem with an overzealous fan.”
“Does it happen a lot?”
“No. But we wanted to take precautions.”
“Okay. You still seem tense.”
I lowered my head. “Maybe you can find a way to make me less tense later, Liv?”
She touched her lips to mine. Too lightly and too briefly.
“Maybe.”
I grinned.
* * *
We finished our set to loud applause. All of us had seen Vicky storm out, so we were relaxed and jovial for the remainder of the night. We headed to the dressing room, grabbed our stuff and talked about the next gig we had in a few weeks. If we wanted, we could play weekly, probably nightly, around town and in various other cities, but we all agreed it wasn’t what we preferred. We had a list of places we liked, and we rotated. Our fans followed us and we enjoyed the sets, but it was a hobby, not our lives. The guys all knew my history and the fact that if they wanted more, I had no issues stepping back. But surprisingly, we were all like-minded when it came to our group. We had a couple of self-produced CDs which sold well, but we refused to take it to the next level. I had experienced it already, and none of my band members wanted that level of crazy. We all only wanted to make music.
“Come join me for a drink and meet Liv,” I suggested.
“Finally got the balls to ask her out there, mate?” Alex chuckled.
“What are you on about?”
They all laughed.
“You have no idea how often you talked about her, do you?” Mark asked. “Liv this, Liv that, she is brilliant…blah, blah, blah.”
“I didn’t.”
“Bloody right, you did,” Alex crowed. “And it was obvious she liked you. I’d see her in the back of the bar, nursing a drink, watching us. Watching you with this-this look on her face. It was amusing since you never saw her.”
I shook my head. How had I not noticed her?
Andy clapped me on the shoulder. “Don’t feel bad. She kept herself hidden. I have a better vantage point from the kit, and I let the others know. We enjoyed watching your fan ogle you. You’re always so lost in the music, you never notice anything.”
Mark grinned widely. “He’s right. Your ass could be on fire, and we’d have to put it out when you’re playing.”
Still fooling around, we headed toward the front. The amusement died in my throat when I saw who was at the table with Liv.
Vicky.
She was talking, gesturing wildly, her eyes narrowed as she leaned close to Liv, no doubt spewing her venom.
I could only imagine what horrid lies Vicky was telling her.
“Fuck,” I swore.
“Goddamn bitch is at it again,” Alex muttered.
We all hurried forward.
Liv looked up as we hit the table, the four of us converging on it as one. Her expression was neutral, her voice calm as she spoke.
“Hey, guys.”
I leaned on the table, my fists digging into the scarred wood, trying to rein in my temper. “What are you doing here, Vicky? You know you’re not welcome.”
She tossed her hair, the bleached blond strands stiff under the lights. “It’s a free country.”
I scowled. “Not where we’re concerned. You know the rules. You broke them. That means we’re getting the restraining order we warned you about.”
Her cheeks were flushed. I could see from the haze in her eyes she’d been drinking a lot, which made her even more dangerous and me more tense.
“You wouldn’t.”
Andy crossed his arms. “Watch us, you loon. We’ve tried to play nice.”
She flashed him what I was sure she thought was a sexy smile. It was more of a sneer. “I remember you didn’t like to play nice. Rough was the way you liked it.”
He shoved off the table, cursing and getting ready to lunge. Mark stepped behind him, pla
cing an arm across his chest. “Easy, don’t give her ammunition.”
“Get her out of my sight.”
Liv watched the entire exchange in silence. She turned to Vicky, her voice cool. “Thanks for the warning, but I can make up my own mind when it comes to who I have a relationship with. Frankly, I have no interest in anything else you have to say since it’s probably all bullshit. Maybe you should do yourself a favor and leave. The way security is eyeing you up, it might be best if you leave now before he comes over here.” She paused and slid her hand across the table, covering mine. “Or before one of these gentlemen helps to escort you from the building.”
“Gentlemen,” Vicky scoffed. “That’s not what I’d call them.”
“In case I haven’t made it clear, I don’t care what you call them, and I have no interest in listening.”
Vicky’s eyes narrowed. “You’re making a mistake.”
“Then the mistake is mine.” Liv stood. “I’m not in the mood for a drink now, Van. Can we go home?”
I stood straight, pulling Liv close. “Yep.”
Mark pushed Andy toward Alex. “Take him home.” He waved me off as Brent stepped forward. “Take your lady and go, Van. Brent and I are going to have a little talk with Vicky.”
“Mark…” I warned. Talking with Vicky was dangerous. She twisted your words and created entire conversations that never occurred.
“It’s fine. Brent has my back, right?”
Brent crossed his arms. “I’ve got great ears, and my memory is as sharp as a tack.”
I met Mark’s steady gaze. He was determined, and I knew I couldn’t stop him.
“Call me.”
He nodded. “I will.”
I tugged Liv behind me and left the club. I didn’t look back.
* * *
We sat across from each other in the diner, cups of coffee in our hands. Neither of us was hungry. I drained my cup and signaled for a refill, knowing sleep was going to be elusive tonight.
“Can you tell me?” Liv asked.
“There isn’t a lot to tell.”
Vested Interest Box Set Books 4-7 Page 33
