“So I’ve been told, but he’s never been anything but kind to me.”
“Perhaps he’s mellowing in his old age then,” she smiled.
“Perhaps.”
“Rachel. I would really like you to reconsider staying with me. If you won’t go back to your maker stay with us. You can’t be alone right now, especially not with a baby coming. Vampire birth is usually pretty easy, but this is not exactly a regular pregnancy for one of our kind. I’d hate to see you out there all alone, suffering when your time comes.” Christina clenched her jaw in a sudden flush of anger. “That miserable animal should pay for what he’s done to you. You deserve revenge.”
“My husband already threatened to kill him. It’s not possible though. My child will need his father to survive.”
“Not if we turn him before he transforms.”
“But there’s no guarantee that will work. You said so yourself.”
“True. But after the boy is safe nobody would blame you for hunting and killing him, or for letting your husband do it on your behalf. He violated you, Rachel. It would have been no different had he raped you.”
The memory of James came rushing back as she spoke and I felt tears begin to sting my eyes. I turned my head away. “It wasn’t exactly like that.”
“Of course it was. Think about it. I know you may have been under the illusion that it was enjoyable, but it was just the pheromones. Rachel, it’s a trick they use. They are very manipulative. You saw how many women were at the motel that night. They don’t have any regard for any of them. They use them and then turn them into grieving mothers. That’s going to be you someday. In a way they are much better off dead because there’s no greater pain than losing a child. It’s worse than death, but we’ve given them peace, and prevented the herd from growing to inflict even more misery on the women of this city. They’re a virus, Rachel. No matter how much bullshit they spew about how noble they are they are nothing but a tribe of selfish conniving bastards who just take what they want with no thought about how it will hurt anyone else. Do you think the satyr that fathered your son had any regard for how it would turn your life upside down? I mean, look at you. Instead of being home in the loving arms of your husband, your maker, you are running away from him and can’t even, I suspect, forgive yourself for something that wasn’t even your fault.”
“But I agreed to it,” I cried, hot tears of anger and shame trailing down my cheeks.
“Under threat. When one is threatened with the loss of a maker it can play games with the mind. You didn’t know what you were agreeing to, but he did. He knew and he didn’t care, he simply wanted to use you, and if he’s had you do it once, he’ll want you to do it again. You have no immunity to him now. He’ll manipulate you every time he gets close to you if you give him the chance. It’s you he’s wronged. I understand your maker wants to kill him, but why not do it yourself? Once your son is born we can go hunt him. He can’t manipulate me. I can help you catch him and you can drive a sword through his heart and watch him suffer. God knows you and your child will suffer enough in the coming years. Why should he be free to go about his business after hurting you so deeply?”
“I can’t hate him. I had a part to play too.”
“Listen to yourself. He’s a hunter. No better than a rapist who would have held you down and forced himself on you. You’re making excuses for someone who violated and humiliated you.”
The more she talked, the more I realized she was right. Aries was no different than James. “I can’t stand to think about it,” I said.
Christina put her arms around me and stroked my hair, soothing me as I broke down. “It’s alright, Rachel. You’ll have your revenge, and everything will be set right.”
I was crying so hard I was gasping for air now. “I hate them so much. Why did they have to do this to me?”
“There was more than one?”
In that moment I finally felt safe enough to say it all. To say things to her I had not even expressed to Gavin or Holly. “No. Gavin’s brother, he raped me a few weeks after I was turned because he hated me. And now I see him,” I said looking her in the face, feeling myself overcome with hysteria. “I see him sometimes and I don’t know why or how that’s even possible. Christina, I think I’m crazy.”
“You’re not crazy. You’ve been traumatized.”
“I just want to be safe. I’m scared almost all the time and I’m so tired of it.”
Christina took me to her chest, cradling me in her arms like a small child as she rocked me back and forth. I trembled and cried as she spoke. “You’re safe now, Rachel. You’re safe with me, and if you want to stay I’ll promise to keep you safe here with us. No harm will come to you. I’ll protect you, I promise you that. Will you stay?”
I believed her. I believed I could be safe here in the city under Christina’s protection and in that instant I made the decision. “Yes,” I said. “I’ll stay if you’ll let me.”
Hugging me even tighter and giving me a motherly kiss on top of my head as she did I heard a smile in her voice. “Rachel, I’d like nothing better. You’re one of mine now. You’re home.”
Moments later I felt my stomach cramp up with blood hunger and cried out. “I need to feed. I don’t know what to do.”
“Here,” she said, offering me her wrist. “It should be ok if you just take a little. Just one or two mouthfuls, but no more. You took way too much last time.”
“What if I get sick again?”
“Then you’ll suffer, with that satyr to thank for it. You’ll survive though. We have to try it Rachel. You can’t go without blood and all that you took earlier went to waste. Do it and at least we’ll know. I’ll take care of you.”
I was overcome with gratitude and realized that upon meeting Christina I had totally misjudged her. “Thank you,” I said, and bit down carefully. The blood ran out and it was just as wonderful as all the other times. I took two large swallows, wanting more but she pulled her wrist away licking the wounds shut as fast as she could.
“That’s enough for now. How do you feel?”
Amazingly just the two mouthfuls I had taken made me feel much stronger and clearer headed than I had before. “Much better,” I said.
“Excellent. I think I just need to feed you a tiny bit at a time. That’s what we’ll do for now. It seems like you can tolerate that. I think you should stick to my blood though, we don’t want to take any chances.” Christina wrapped me up in a large blanket and rubbed my back. I felt so calm and at peace, the complete opposite of what I’d been feeling moments ago. I felt the same way toward her as I had felt toward my mother as a small child. Loved and protected, cocooned and safe under her watch.
“Sleep again,” she said. “Your body needs it. When you wake up we will begin to figure everything out.”
I nodded and burrowed down into the blankets, totally content. I had no thoughts of Gavin, James, Aries or Ian. I settled in and slept a deep, peaceful and dreamless sleep.
Chapter Seventeen
For an unknown period of days I simply slept, woke, took small amounts of blood from Christina experiencing the euphoria of the substance that it was, and slept again. I had no idea what was happening around me and didn’t care. I let go of everything. For the first time since being transformed life was blissfully simple. Food was brought in on silver trays but I barely touched it. All I wanted was Christina’s blood, and the more I took, the more I could tolerate. She fed me like a mother feeding a newborn baby, trying to get them to empty the bottle a few more ounces each time so they can grow stronger.
I did grow stronger, physically as well as mentally. I felt like I could do anything as long as I was here in this place. Even though it hadn’t been all that long ago, my life in Soldiers Cove seemed like a distant memory now. Christina assured me that in time I’d look back on it with vague indifference and given everything that had happened, that seemed like a pretty good outcome to me. I stayed in the apartment watching others come and go.
Vampires called on Christina asking for things, and for the most part she was happy to oblige. It seemed to me, however, that every one of them looked upon me with jealousy. I was someone who had simply breezed into town and now I had a place at Christina’s side. Joshua seemed particularly annoyed, even though he never spoke a word about it. He didn’t have to, I could see it in his face and in his demeanor.
She rarely left me alone, but when she did, I felt a twinge of uneasiness. It wasn’t too troublesome because she was rarely gone for more than half an hour and upon returning she always fed me promptly and even returned with gifts. The excitement I felt when I was reunited with her, even after a brief absence, was almost as euphoric as taking her blood. She gave me small trinkets, jewellery and clothing. I treasured them all.
We had talked for hours about the situation with the satyrs. Christina became sad when talking of the women who had been taken by them, saying she wished there was some way to undo what had been done, but it was better for them to die. It was a mercy. I started to agree with her. I felt guilt when the subject would come up because I knew where they were hiding, but something in me didn’t want to give it up. She had said several times that if they could just find the small group and kill them that it would stop other women from being violated in the long run, and of course that only made sense.
We both knew I had information I was holding back, but she hadn’t directly confronted me, she simply kept protecting me, feeding me and making me feel secure in this little bubble she’d created. It seemed as though she knew eventually I’d say something. It wasn’t a matter of if, just a matter of when.
Sitting in my room, alone and antsy, I was waiting for her to come back so I could feed when I began going through my dresser drawers, trying to keep myself busy until she returned. All of my things had been taken from the truck the night of the crash, but I hadn’t gone through them. There had been no need.
It was all there. Money, what little clothes I had and a small black velvet box that I didn’t recognize. I opened it up wondering what it could be and saw that someone had carefully placed my wedding and engagement ring inside. It threw me for a moment. I closed my eyes seeing Gavin’s face. His kind eyes and warm smile. The way he used to look at me before I ruined everything. I had managed to push him out of my mind but now he was there. For an instant I wanted to run back to him. I barely had time to process the thought when I heard a now familiar shrill laugh from across the room.
James.
“You’ve really fucked up here haven’t you?” I froze. “Nothing to say baby?”
“Not real,” I whispered to myself, crawling into bed and throwing the covers on. Something was touching me. I realized James was on the bed, his hands roaming up and down my body in the same way they had on the night he’d raped me.
“As real as you want it to be.” he laughed and I felt his mouth on my neck.
“Get off me!” I screamed. “Leave me alone. Don’t touch me.” James didn’t respond. He simply kept groping and kissing me. My skin crawled and I sobbed feeling like I was going to be sick. “No!” I screamed over and over again. “No! No! No!”
Just then the door flew open and Christina was in the room with me. “Rachel, what’s wrong?” she said, throwing off the blanket and sitting me up.
“James...”
“Sweetheart, there’s nobody else in the apartment. You’re imagining it.”
“No, he’s real. He keeps coming back.”
Her eyes hardened, her voice stern. “Rachel, you’re having flashbacks. We talked about this remember? You’re ok, you’re safe here.”
I calmed a little, but not enough to stop crying. “It feels so real. I felt him.”
“Here,” she said, offering me her wrist. “Drink. It will help.”
I took her wrist to my mouth as fast as I could and began the now all too familiar ritual of ingesting her blood. The moment it filled my mouth I was at peace. When I had finished Christina stroked my hair lovingly and smiled. “There. Isn’t that better?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“Come see if you can eat some human food now,” she said, standing to cross the room. As she did she noticed the black velvet box, opened on the dresser. Stiffening she said, “Are you going to put these back on?”
“No, I was just looking at them,” I said, quickly getting up to shut the box and throw it back in the drawer.
“You still love him?”
After a pause that was probably a beat too long I said, “Yes.”
“Well, you can’t help how you feel. It’s just a shame though. I feel bad for you. It’s not an easy position he’s put you in.”
Confused I asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, Rachel, he turned you and made you dependent on him. You weren’t given much of a choice in the matter now were you?”
“Well, no, but I don’t blame him.”
“No? It would seem to me that a sick young woman roaming in the woods should have been brought back home but…well…you know the rest.”
Christina turned her back on me and with her head high walked out of the bedroom. I knew what she was driving at. She was saying that Gavin was no better than James or Aries. I had spilled the whole story to her and now she was trying to show me, gently, just how wrong the whole situation was. I knew she was angry and disappointed with me, I could feel it and I felt guilty once again. I wanted nothing more than to please her, and to please her was to agree with her.
I found her sitting alone at the dining room table as food was being served. I took a seat next to her and tried to eat, but the silence between us was too heavy. I felt as though I had done something wrong. Something I needed desperately to make up for. I wanted her to be happy with me so badly that I was willing to say or do anything for her to look at me with her motherly approval again. I needed her warmth and comfort, and most of all I needed her blood. The thought of living without it filled me with dread.
“I’m sorry,” I said, not knowing what else to say.
“You disappoint me, Rachel. I thought you’d made a breakthrough is all. Perhaps you’re not as ready as I thought you were.”
“Ready for what?”
“To join us here permanently. It might be time for you to go.”
Panic rose in me now, consuming my body and I felt myself began to shake. “No. Please Christina. I have nowhere else to go. I need to be here. I need…you.”
Christina’s lips spread across her teeth as her tone softened. She looked at me once again with love and approval and took my hand. “I don’t know. I’m concerned about you. I think perhaps you should go home to your maker. It would be good for you to figure out what you really want. You see, if you are going to be here I need you to be one hundred percent committed to us. I can’t have you dividing your loyalties between us and your old clan, or your old maker. You’re always welcome back once you figure things out.”
Tears of desperation began to fall and I pressed my face into her hand, trying to figure out what to say to convince her I was worthy of being with her. After a moment I steadied myself and knew what I could do to prove my loyalty to her, and only to her. “I know where they are, the satyrs. I can take you to them.” I said.
“You do?”
“Yes. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I don’t know why I held it in but I can show you where they are. I’m loyal to you Christina, I truly am. I’ll do whatever you want me to do in order to prove it.”
Christina’s eyes danced with excitement. “Rachel, this is very good. You’ve taken a big step. I’m very proud of you. Now we just have to figure out what to do.”
“Can’t we just negotiate with them? There’s no need to kill them is there?”
“I don’t like the idea of that, and you know all the reasons why. But if it means that much to you then for your sake, we can try.”
“You would do that for me?”
“Yes, Rachel. I’ve come to think of you as one of my own. And I hope th
at one day your son will be one of mine too. Perhaps we can convince them to leave and only come back when they have a child to collect. I don’t know, we’d have to sit down with them and I’m not sure if they’d be willing.”
“I can talk to Zale. He seems reasonable. I’m sure we can work it out so that we can do what’s best for everyone. Oh, Christina, I don’t want anyone else to die. There’s been too much death already.”
“Alright. Perhaps you can be the go between. Go to him tonight and set up a meeting. Maybe there’s hope for a truce of sorts.”
I smiled as she brushed my tears away. “I know that we can, “I said.
Chapter Eighteen
Parking the car Christina had let me use I hurriedly made my way into the darkness of Point Pleasant Park and ran as fast as I could to the spot where I had seen these creatures drinking together before. There was no sign of them now but their scent lingered in the air.
“Zale,” I whispered, hoping he was within earshot. No response. I began walking, following the trail until I came to a path, hidden by some downed trees. Zale was in there somewhere I knew now, it was just a matter of finding him. “Zale,” I called out once more. A rustling of branches behind me caused me to turn.
“I’m right here mother,” he said. He was in his full form. Handsome and naked, with his long hair halfway down his back and his blue eyes sparkling, even in the darkness. The large curly ram like horns sat prominently atop his head, making him look like a king. He smiled as I made my way to him, but his smile quickly faded as I got closer. “Something’s wrong with you mother. You look unwell.” He dropped quickly to his knees, putting his hands gently to my stomach as if examining the unborn child. He pressed softly and sighed. “Your boy is ok,” he said, rising on his goat like legs to his full height, meeting my eyes once again. “But you seem ill, Rachel. Something is wrong.”
“Everything is fine,” I said. He didn’t listen and continued to look me over, trying to figure out what the problem was.
The Vampires of Soldiers Cove: The Unborn Page 9
