Blissful volume 2 (New Adult Romance)

by Clarissa Wild

  I take a step back, and when he notices his eyebrows raise. “What? Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a friggin’ horse, are you?”

  I shake my head, but on the inside I feel as if I want to run away.

  He chuckles. “It won’t bite you. Unless you have carrots for fingers.”

  Jack strides to me in his black boots, grabs my hand, holds it up, and pushes the reign inside. “C’mon. Try it.”

  I sigh and roll my eyes when I see that lopsided smile of his again that always brings flutters to my stomach.

  Holding the reigns, I make contact with the animal that just stares back as if I’m some kind of an alien. I try to pet it, but when it moves its head, I pull back, worried that I might smell like sugar. I’ve read somewhere that horses like sugar.

  “You can pet her, you know,” Jack says from a distance, still readying his horse.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I mutter.

  My fingers slowly slide over the horse’s back, and it’s soft and furry. It smells terrible, though, but I don’t want to snobbish, so I try my best to impress him. Jack’s watching me, of course. I don’t want to make a fool out of myself. I want him to like me.

  “You ready, sweetie?” Jack says to Madeline.

  Madeline jumps up and down and raises her arms. “Yes! I want to go!”

  He lifts her and puts her on the far end of the saddle. Then he looks at me and tilts his head, signaling me to get on the horse. Yeah, get on the horse. Of course I can do that. All right.

  I lift my right leg and hook it into the stirrup. Okay, I’m floating in the air now. What do I do now? I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. Shit. I feel like an idiot.

  Sighing heavily, I get off again and try my other leg. That’s what I did wrong. Of course, if I’d stayed the other way how in heavens name would I’ve gotten my other foot in the stirrup too? Backward. I’m so stupid sometimes.

  I try again and swing my leg high up in the air. I fail.

  Losing my balance, I fall down with my foot still stuck in the stirrup.

  “Ouch!” My head lands on the dirty stable ground. In the background I hear Madeline giggling, and when I push myself up with my elbows and look at her, I see Jack muffling a laugh, too.

  Snorting, I take my foot from the stirrup, get up, and pat my jeans. Jesus, straw is in my hair. I look like an idiot.

  “Hold on, Maddy.”

  “Why? I want to go! Let’s go!”

  “I’ve got to help Amy out. We’ll go in a bit,” Jack says.

  Maddy folds her arms and blows a raspberry at him.

  I try to clean myself before Jack comes my way, because I don’t want to look like a pile of dirt when he sees me. I think it’s already too late, though.

  He laughs when he gets here, and I frown.

  “Want me to get the ladder?”

  “No. I’m fine,” I say, my head raised high up in the air. “I can do it.”

  “All right. At least let me help ya out a bit,” he says. “Put your foot on the stirrup, like you did the second time.”

  I sigh, but do what he says.

  “Now raise your leg and throw it over. Put some power into it.”

  I try again, but almost flounder. Jack catches me. His hands are on my butt.

  I freeze when I feel his fingers on my fat ass, digging into my flesh. Oh my god. Jack’s touching my ass. His hands are on me. And he’s pushing me up, helping me get on.

  With flushed cheeks I manage to flip my leg over that goddamn horse and sit down on the saddle. Jack clears his throat as he pulls his hands away again and gives me the reigns.

  “Wasn’t what I had in mind, but it did the trick. Well, now that you’re seated, we can get you ready to leave.”

  I cringe from the thought of having to ride this big animal. I’ve never done this before. I have no idea what I’m doing. Luckily, Jack explains everything to me. How I should behave on top of her so that I don’t scare her. Her name’s Lucy, I just heard. He tells me how to wield the reigns and how to use the stirrups to control her.

  When he’s done explaining, I take a big breath, trying to remember everything he said.

  “Daddy, can we go already?” Madeline yells.

  “Yeah, yeah, we’re going,” he says, and he walks back to their horse.

  “Yay!” she screams.

  It only takes him seconds to get on top of their horse and ride it to the entrance. “Follow me,” Jack says, and we gently walk out of the stables. I’m having trouble adjusting to this unfamiliar wobbling, but it’s kind of cool. I can see why he likes doing this. Still, I wonder where we’re going. I wonder why Jack suddenly has the urge to go to some secret place of his and Maddy’s. Maybe it’s because of his outburst.

  Jesus, just thinking about it makes the hair on my back stand up.

  ***

  After a while I get the hang of it, and I can focus on something else than staying on this horse. Jack told me Lucy is quite the easy one, compared to his horse. Well, whatever. I’m glad I’m not blundering. Now that I’m getting used to being higher and in control of what she does, I can look around. And boy, do I like what I see.

  Jack’s in front of me, sometimes glancing back to see if I’m still there. He’s wearing a gorgeous white tee with torn jeans, like a proper rancher. Appetizing. Watching his strong muscles flex with each movement is fascinating. When I realize I’m biting my lip, I quickly let go and lick them. Dang, I shouldn’t be doing that. Especially not after what happened today.

  He’s not ready for this. For us. Whatever it is. He can’t handle it. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, even though I told him he can. He can handle the hurt, he must. He can’t quit, but I know he can’t handle me being here right now, either. Only after today do I realize how much pain he’s in. I never saw it before.

  That’s why he was drinking so much. He’s drowning the misery inside his head. Turning his blood into alcohol so that he won’t have to deal with the truth.

  I wonder what he’s thinking about that makes him so sad. When I held him in my arms as he cried, it felt as if he broke apart. I can’t believe this was hiding inside him all this time. Impressive that he managed to keep it from me for so long.

  Still, it’s eating him up alive. I could see it when he looked at me. His eyes were full of disgust. Not for me, but for himself. Whatever happened, he’s blaming himself, and now he’s trying to avoid his own happiness. It’s as if he’s making himself suffer for it. As if he doesn’t deserve anything.

  But he does. No matter what he did, I know he’s a good man. He’s sweet and kind and my god so handsome. He deserves his happiness. I don’t ever want to see him cry like that again. It ripped out my heart.

  I need to do something about it. Find out what’s bothering him so much and help him get over it. I want him to be happy. I want him. Need him with me. Him and me.

  Shit, I’m over thinking this. He’s clearly hurting and here I am, busting into his life, making it more confusing for him. Making it more confusing for me, too. But Ronnie isn’t here and he’s an asshole. Jack’s here, and he’s nice. If I think about it like this, nothing’s holding me back from jumping him. Then again … life is never that easy.

  “We’re here.” Jacks voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

  Stupefied, I look at him. “What?” We’re still surrounded by trees, moss, dirt and stones. There’s nothing around us but trees, and maybe the edge of the forest, but nothing else.

  “There!” he says, and he points at the edge of the forest.

  We walk farther until we reach it. Well of course, why didn’t I see this sooner? There’s a giant lake up ahead, sparkling in the sunlight. It’s beautiful.

  “Wow,” I say.

  Jack gets off his horse. The way he graciously lifts his legs sets my core on fire. “That’s what I thought,” he says.

  He holds out his hands, and Maddy falls into his arms so that he can put her down, too. He binds a rope to the tree and makes sure the horses don’
t go anywhere. Then he comes to me and holds up his arms. Seriously, he’s expecting me to jump at him? This is too good to be true.

  I let him help me off, and he holds onto me until I’m steady on the ground, maybe even a little longer. His hands are warm, and I can smell his aftershave drifting through the air, luring me in. Glancing up at him, I can see he’s watching me with similar affection. Dear god, the sparks are flying off us. His lips are alluring, and the way they’re separated makes me want to press mine onto his. Oh, god, how I want to kiss him.

  “Daddy, look!”

  He turns his head, distracted. And then the moment is gone. Evaporated into thin air.

  He let’s go of me and walks to her.

  Damn. There goes my chance.

  Shit, I’m so stupid; I should’ve just gone for it. Should’ve just kissed him. Just like that night …

  Maddy hands him a stone that’s shaped weirdly, almost looking like a heart. She makes it out to be, anyway. Kids. They’re so full of imagination. I wish I still had that.

  Checking out Jack’s horse, I notice he has a saddle bag that looks kind of stuffed. I unclip it and open it. There’s a blanket in it and a whole lot of other stuff wrapped inside.

  “That was supposed to be a surprise,” Jack says. His sudden voice startles me. “Relax, it’s just me,” he says when he sees my frightened face.

  “Sorry. I’m too curious,” I say.

  “Yeah. I know you are,” he says, and he grabs the blanket.

  Jesus, way to be upfront. I frown and fold my arms. “Well, whatever.”

  He chuckles and grabs the other stuff that’s inside the saddle bag. There’s a whole lunch packed inside. Biscuits, sandwiches, apples, grapes, packets of juice, and a bottle of wine. My mouth drops open.

  “What? When did you —”

  “Ah,” Jack says, and he holds up a finger in the air. “Secret of the trade. I’m Jack of all Trades, remember? Can’t have a picnic without some tasty food.” The wink that follows sets my heart ablaze.

  “A picnic?” I say.

  Jack puts the blanket on the ground, just after the line of trees. “Yep. Maddy and I used to come here a lot. We went fishing, hiking, swimming and diving off that pier over there.” He points into the distance.

  He spreads the food and drinks out evenly and makes it look like a five star restaurant. Meanwhile, Maddy is running around picking up leaves and stones from the ground, probably checking if they resemble anything like a heart or a star.

  “Then what changed?” I ask.

  Jack stops for a second, looking at the pier. He’s quiet and then sighs. “A lot.”

  All right. I get the picture. You still don’t want to talk about it. Still afraid to open up. Whatever.

  Pursing my lips, I sit down on the blanket beside him. He’s watching Amy carefully and then beckons her to come eat.

  We eat brunch, and I don’t think I’ve ever eaten something this delicious. Maybe it’s made better by the surroundings, too. It’s beautiful here. I can imagine spending days just sitting here against a tree, reading a book or playing songs into the wind. The slow waves in the lake are hypnotizing and could easily lull me to sleep if I closed my eyes.

  Madeline can’t wait to get up and run away again. She’s already hopping about, throwing stones into the lake and making signs in the sand again while Jack and I sip our wine. Ah, this is the life.

  Jack keeps a vigilant eye on Madeline, though. He’s frowning, watching her dance along the shoreline. When she sets one foot into the water his eyes widen. He gasps and immediately gets up.

  “Madeline, no!” he shouts. He’s running toward her, and I’m watching them.

  “Do not go into the water!” he yells. His voice is so loud I can hear it from far away. “I told you to never go in there again.”

  Stunned, I put my glass of wine down. Madeline starts crying as Jack quickly picks her up and walks away from the water as if he’s afraid it’s going to eat her up. What’s his problem?

  I get up and barge to them. Why is he treating her like this? It’s only a little water. He’s scaring the shit out of that kid, being so angry.

  “What are you doing? She was just playing. What’s the big deal?” I say to him as he comes up to me with her in his arms. She’s screaming now.

  “Not your business,” he says, his teeth barely separating as he speaks.

  What the hell. Why is he so crude? What did I do to him?

  “Yes, it is my business. You’re making her cry. Why do you think that’s okay? You were yelling at her for God sakes.”

  He turns to me and puts her down on the ground next to me. Madeline is trying to run away, but he grabs her shirt and holds on for life.

  “I know what I’m doing. Don’t tell my how to raise my own kid,” he hisses.

  That’s it. I don’t have to put up with this. “As if that has anything to do with it. You know what? Never mind. This picnic is a lot less fun than I thought it would be. I’m outta here.” I turn around and don’t give him another look before storming away. He’s such an asshole, all I want to do is slap him in the face, but I can’t do that in front of Madeline.

  Snorting, I release the horse from the tree and jump on it. This time I succeed without help. As if I need his help. Asshole. How dare he treat her that way? It was only a little water. Wasn’t like she was in deep. She wasn’t going to drown. He shouldn’t have treated her like that. Poor Maddy, now she’s bawling her eyes out.

  “Wait, Amy. Don’t!” Jack yells, but I ignore his pleas as tears well up in my eyes.

  And with that I tell Lucy to make a run for it.

  I’m riding through the forest on my own, trying to get away from all this. I don’t know what urged me to do this. It’s not just the way Jack treated Maddy. It’s more than that. It was just the opportunity I needed to run. Run away from everything I’ve been experiencing lately. I need to get out.

  The horse is going faster and faster, and I don’t know where I’m going. I have no clue which way is which and where the farm is. Looking back, the beach is disappearing and I’m surrounded only by trees. Alone.

  Shit. Where the hell am I? What did I do? I have no idea how to get back or how to get to the farm. What do I do?

  Panic wells up inside me, and I think Lucy feels it, too. She starts racing, and soon I can’t control her anymore. She’s chasing phantoms, barely avoiding the trees as we bolt through the forest. I get scratched by branches, and the pain makes me yelp. I can’t keep my eyes open, afraid something’s going to hit me.

  Trying to stop Lucy only makes her increase her pace. She’s out of my reach. I can’t calm her down. She’s not stopping, and I have no idea where she’s going. She even starts bucking in between. Shit, this isn’t good.

  Then suddenly I feel her stumble over a huge rock. I lose my grip on the handle and feel my feet come free from the stirrups. No, no, no! My body feels light and my butt rises into the air. I fly through the air and land on a hard piece of ground. It hurts. Then my vision fades to black.

  Chapter 4

  Jack

  Cleaning up the picnic, I keep Maddy close to me. Fuck. Why did I have to be such a prick again? Amy’s just so annoying sometimes, meddling in my business. It’s my job to keep Madeline safe, whatever the cost. If she cries, then so be it. She will not go into the water. Period.

  I sigh. But I can’t be so rude to Amy either. Now she’s gone. Shit.

  I brush my fingers through my hair and pick up Maddy again. She’s still crying, so I shush her and pat her on her back. “Sorry, Maddy, but you know the rules.”

  She doesn’t respond. It’s not what worries me most right now, though. Amy’s run off with Lucy, and I know for sure she can’t find her way home. Neither can she come back. That girl’s got a sense of direction like a compass that’s pointing at the south. She’s probably lost by now. And it’s all my fault. Fuck.

  I put Maddy on the horse and climb up myself. I have to catch up with her be
fore she goes so far that she’s out of my reach. Shit, shit, shit! Why did this have to happen? Why couldn’t she just let it go? Why can’t I just let it go? Fuck, I hate myself for being so cautious and strict with her. But what else am I supposed to do? I don’t want something to happen ever again, and I’ll do pretty much anything to prevent it.

  If only I could get over it.

  I shake my head and laugh. Tough chance, McCallister.

  I ride and ride until I no longer see anything but trees. She’s nowhere to be found, and it’s making me nuts. I don’t know what to do, so I start shouting her name. There’s no response.

  My heart’s beating like crazy and my muscles are tensed up. I need to find her. I need to make sure she’s okay. I’ve never been this worried about a girl, but I am.

  Suddenly I see a blue pair of jeans in the distance.

  “Amy!” I shout, and I hurry over to her.

  Jumping off my horse, I make sure Madeline stays on before walking to Amy. She’s lying on the cold leaf covered ground, her head against a rock. Panting, I raise her head and find blood underneath.

  “No!”

  I rip a piece off my shirt and push it against the wound at the back of her head. “Amy? Amy? Please, wake up, Amy!”

  She groans, and I let out a sigh of relief. Her eyes briefly open and then shut again.

  “Amy? Amy, stay awake. C’mon.” I lift her head farther, pull her back, and crawl underneath so that she can rest on my lap.

  “Is she okay, daddy?” Madeline says, still whimpering.

  “Yes, just stay there,” I tell her. Of course I’m not going to tell her everything’s not all right.

  “My head …” Amy whispers.

  “You’ve hurt yourself quite a bit,” I say. Looking around, I see Lucy eating some leaves off the trees up ahead, not far away. I’m glad she hasn’t run off.

  “Hmm …” Amy mutters. “Asshole.”

  I laugh. Even when she’s hurt she still has the strength to tell me what she thinks. To be upfront and tell me that I’m an idiot. And she’s right.