by Morin, Clara
“Wow! This is why I have been in love with you for so long. Emily, everything you tell sounds so romantic to me,” Xavier said and for a moment, anything else ceased to exist.
“You love me?” I asked unable to believe what I had heard.
“I came to earth in order to seek love. Dad told me that it was his lover’s daughter who would fulfill me. I had to come to earth so that I could seek my half.”
“Who is your dad’s lover?”
“Margaret Wilkins.”
For a moment, I didn’t react. It was just too much to process. Was it really possible?
“Are you serious? Mom never told me about it,” I said.
Could it be possible that my mom once had an affair with an alien?
“Your mom doesn’t know that dad was an alien. I told you that dad just disappeared out of the blue and he could never come back here.”
Now, as I sat back and remembered, I could recall how mom told me about her first heartbreak. She told me that she was all of 17 when she had met a strange man who was everything she had wanted. I smiled at how history had repeated itself.
Mom never knew that the stranger she had dated had come all the way from outer solace and she was still remembered by him.
“So, I am the broken piece of your puzzle? Do you love me because you are supposed to love me? Why then do you need my virginity and why did you take so long to tell everything?”
“I know you have so many questions, but I need time to answer each of them. As of now, I want you to know that I need to create the true bond of love if I want to prevent being abducted back to Anerasa. Dad had fought really hard for me to send me here and I was given a specific amount of time before I would be bright back to Anerasa.
However, dad told me that if I could find you and make you fall in love with me and register my love, I could get rid of the curse. I thought you would fall in love with me. I thought you would give me a try, but I realized we were never going anywhere. I don’t have too much of time and I truly love you, Emily.
I don’t love you because you are the only one who would complete me. I don’t love you because dad told me that I needed to seek my other half here on earth. I don’t love you because you are the only one who could save me from going back to a planet I don’t like staying at, but I love you for how you make me feel.
I love you for who you are. I love you for the kind of person I am when I am with you. I love you for the patience you have when it comes to dealing with me. I love you for being you and for making me.
I have my whole life to prove my love to you, but right at this moment, I need you to make love to me. In the human world, it is love making which is considered as the purest bond formation. Unless the people in my planet can feel that I have found my other half, they are going to drag my body away and the thought of being away from you is terrifying.”
I looked at Xavier and I didn’t know how to react. This was my first boyfriend and I was about to lose my virginity and I didn’t know if this love was meant to last.
Yes, I was attracted to him, but could this be love?
“I am not sure, Xavier. Love is more than just sex. I surely feel something for you. I mean you have a great body and there is everything about you which is cool. You are the only person who has ever shown some kind of kindness and I feel comfortable with you, but in the end, love is a very strong word. To be honest, I don’t know if I am in love with you.
I have been awaiting my first love for so long that there is a part of me that is scared of it now. Maybe, I have grown upon with the belief that I would never find love. I know I am ordinary – just ordinary and no one is ever going to be crazy for me. I am so stuck to the belief that love happens to those who deserve that I have begun to believe I would never get my happy ending.
I know I should be excited to know that my best friend is in love with me. But you are an alien and I don’t know if you are here to stay. I had a lot of expectations from my first love and this is both what I wanted and still not what I need. This scares me.”
I could see the sadness in Xavier’s eyes and truly, I felt terrible. He had always been there for me and I knew that I needed to do this one thing for him.
It didn’t really matter if I loved him or not, if I was his key to staying here, I would happily grant him that.
“Let us make love, even if we are not in love because fuck you, I have fantasized about fucking you for too long. I hope this helps you stay here. I hope the for once our body is enough to convince the people at your planet that you belong here and who knows, a few years down the line, we may eventually find love too.”
Chapter 5:
I knew this would be one of the memorable nights of my lives regardless of how our story would end.
I could see passion dance in Xavier’s eyes and I decided to surrender my body completely to him. He had read too much about human sex and the need to feel me and have his hands all over me made him crazy.
He tore apart my clothes and looked at me in all my glory. Xavier was in no rush and he wanted to savor every moment.
“You are so beautiful,” Xavier whispered in my ears and I could feel the sexy voice do things to my mind.
When you have never had sex before, the anticipation is so high that it can push you over the edge of your seat.
“Kiss me everywhere,” I said and let him know that I was ready for him.
He got rid of his own clothes and soon climbed over me. We were lying extremely close and there was no room for anything else.
He kissed my lips and I parted and gave him the room to push inside. He kept on doing his magic and I swore it was the best kiss. I knew that I didn’t have many kisses before, but even then, I knew this would be one of those kisses which I wouldn’t easily forget.
His hands were over my small and rounded breasts and as he massaged them, I could feel a sense of pleasure ooze out of them. I knew that Xavier was a sheer magician and he made me realize of feelings I didn’t even know I was capable of.
His hands were both gentle and rough at the same time as he massaged my breast and then pulled my tits. As his fingers flicked the top of my tits, I groaned in pain. He lowered his mouth and sucked them. I knew he had left the bite marks on my nipples and I could feel how swollen, stained and red they were but frankly, I didn’t mind the pain as long as he sucked them like that.
I arched my legs wider because I could feel a great sense of liquid pleasure there. I knew that I was a little wet because my body wanted him and yet it was sore. I had never known that sex was such a majestic experience.
It was like very part of my body wanted to be kissed. Even when I felt pain, it felt good. Xavier had found a home in my breasts and he continued to lick, bite, suck and tease them as he didn’t want to let them go.
“Down. Go down,” I commanded because the heat in my hole was making me crazy. I wanted to be filled. I had waited all my life to feel a cock inside me and now when I knew that Xavier would fill me and turn my fantasies true, I couldn’t wait.
He fingered me first and made sure that he had set my body into the right rhythm.
“You are already so wet, Emily,” he said and continued to stroke me. His fingers kept playing and I knew he was easing the tension and making my vagina ready for penetration.
As his hands were driving me crazy, I wanted to hold his dick too, and I cradled his thick cock in my hands. He too could feel the sexual drive. We were both having a moment and I loved the way it felt.
“Do you love me, Emily?” he asked and I still couldn't get myself to speak those words. Yes, I was attracted and the sex was mind boggling, but I didn’t know what love felt like.
I couldn’t utter those three golden words and when Xavier realized that he shouldn’t have asked me, he smiled and decided to seize the moment by penetrating me.
He pushed his dick slightly and then a little deeper and then started pacing up and down.
I felt sweat breaking over my body and as he
whispered in my ears, “here I go and take your esteemed virginity away,” he pushed deeper and touched my G-spot and my orgasm crashed my body just as he ejaculated inside me and filled my hole.
Liquid pleasure shot through my body and I smiled, knowing that the wait was worth it. It was worth every single moment. I kissed Xavier and I knew I felt happy and pleased.
I didn’t know if it was right or wrong – if love was supposed to feel that way or not. I have never been in love and never had intercourse with anyone else in my life. It was my first and though it certainly felt great, but there was just something about the entire incident that felt missing. I had no experience and could not compare that feeling to anything else. It was my first time and I was simply lost in my own thought.
As I lay with Xavier by my side, it certainly felt great. I started to believe in love and that just like everyone else, I could also get my happy ending. But did my happy ending really led to Xavier? He was a great guy and he has always been honest with me. I was the only person in the entire world who knew his secret.
He was a great friend and I knew that he would always be there by my side no matter what. But that was not love, right? Yes, he was good in bed and I had a great time having sex with him, but was sex enough?
I had no idea about it. I was simply lost and didn’t know what I was feeling. I was getting lost in my own thought and there was certainly no escaping them. I simply lay there with Xavier by my side and saw his fall asleep. I could hear the beat of his heart and tried to give myself some consolation. It would make sense one day, I knew – but it was getting to that one hard day that was the toughest deal.
Chapter 6:
The next few weeks passed in the same way. Xavier was trying to get closer and would stay by my side all the time. I had no intentions to push him away. Frankly, I was enjoying his company as well. He was my best friend and I would any day love to have him by my side. Though, I didn’t know if I wanted him as a friend or my boyfriend. According to him, we two were dating and were in the process of “falling in love”.
I was not a doctor of love, but I did know that it was supposed to be effortless. He used to make it sound like a tough job. For him, falling in love was a sacred act that included some pre-determined series of steps. But it wasn’t supposed to be like that, right? It should be effortless. I should love him from the whole of my heart and soul. He was a great guy and I wanted to be with him in the long run, but he was just making it very complicated for the both of us.
One such day, we both were out and were walking down the street which led to our locality. I had a rough day and simply wanted to go home. I knew that Xavier had no bad intentions and he was just curious about our world. Usually, I would explain him everything as per my knowledge, but I simply wanted a break that day. I just wanted to go home and sleep peacefully in my bed. I didn’t want to have any drama and unnecessary complication in my life.
“Do you think you should hold my hand?” he asked me and we both kept walking towards the main road. We were only a few minutes away from our locality.
“Ah! What?” I was unable to decode the meaning behind his words.
“No. I have just read it in a few romantic books and have seen in movies too. Usually, when couples walk like this, they hold each other’s hands and they have a romantic moment. So I thought that if you really love me, then you should have a desire to hold my hand, right? I waited for a few minutes so that you could figure it out and let the romantic ambiance surround you before you would be ready to hold my hand,” he said in order to let me explain the dynamics of such a simple act.
I was irritated beyond limits. That was certainly the height of his dumbness. In the last few days, he had just lectured me about how love should feel like. He had told me way too many times how couples are supposed to react or say. According to him, there were seven different types of kisses and he had shown me some six types. He told me that he was saving the final one for an iconic moment. He was full of mysteries and was making my simple life was too complicated. I didn’t want that. I didn’t deserve someone like him. I deserved someone better – someone who would be able to make me feel how effortless love could be.
“Oh God, Xavier! We can’t behave like those legendary couples that you see in movies. We are not the characters of a book. This is reality and you should understand that it is way different than your book knowledge. You might read or experiment about love as much as you want, but you will never be able to experience it, Xavier. You know why? Because you are trying to fall in love with your brain and not with your heart.
Love doesn’t demand logic like these. It is supposed to flow without any boundaries and should have its own course. You can’t force me to love you by making me do these scientific things, Xavier. You know what? I don’t love you. I can never love someone like you. You are the kind of boy whom I could be friends with, but I can never have you as my lover. Never.
You should just back to Anerasa or whatever your planet was. I don’t care if you are an alien. I don’t care if you have come here by crossing a thousand Light Years. But the truth is that you have come uninvited. You are not welcome in my life, Xavier. I don’t want you. I don’t need you. Please just go back to where you have come from. I don’t love you!” I said it out loud in order to make my intentions clear. I was too loud and direct, but I knew that if I really wanted to make my point count, then I had to be direct.
He didn’t say anything at all to me. He kept looking at me as tears started to fall from his eyes. I knew how bad he felt. He lost not only his lover but also his best friend. I was the only one who was his friend in the entire planet and I made the mistake of breaking his heart. As I saw him crying, I realized that I have made a mistake. He was just being honest and sincere to me, but I, on the other hand, I broke his heart.
The moment I said those words, I regretted them. I knew that Xavier was just being nice and that I should have made an effort to know him better. He had poured his heart and soul out to me and I should be there to support him.
I wanted him to say anything – anything at all, as his silence was tearing me apart.
“I am sorry. I am sorry, Xavier. It came out in the wrong way. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I said as I walked towards him and held his hand.
He didn’t say anything at all or bothered to answer me. He simply leaned towards me and kissed my lips. I opened my mouth and could taste the salt in his tears. Somehow, I knew that it was the last moment that we both would be sharing and I wanted that kiss to never end. I became the creator of my own catastrophe and let go of the most important thing in my life. I had no hope anymore. I knew that a heart once broken can never be repaired. I had broken Xavier beyond repair and any words or even my kiss could not mend it.
As I tasted his presence on my lips, I realized that it was the kind of kiss that he was saving. He has shown me six different kinds of kisses so far and told me that would let me know the last kind only when the right time would come. As I tasted his presence in my mouth – I realized that the seventh kiss was the most dreadful one. It was a goodbye kiss.
I opened my mouth and looked at him. I wanted to remember Xavier in all his glory. I wanted to remember each and every bit about him and didn’t want him to leave me.
“Can’t you stay?” I asked him.
“I am sorry, Emily. You will never love me truly and I can’t force myself on you for the rest of my life,” he said as he opened a portal nearby. The street was entirely empty as no one could notice that right there in the middle of the city was a portal to a different world.
“I am sorry, Xavier. I didn’t mean to break your heart,” I said as he let go of my hand and kept walking towards the portal.
He didn’t look back. He didn’t reply to me. He just kept walking towards the portal and back to Anerasa, where he thought he belonged. Even before I could acknowledge what was happening around me, it all came to an end. Xavier was gone and I had no one to talk to.
I kn
ew that I have made the kind of mistake that I could regret for the rest of my life. He was my best friend and I couldn’t take the pain of losing him. It was really ironic but the only person to whom I wanted to walk about Xavier’s disappearance was Xavier himself. He was gone and I didn’t know if he was gone to a better or a worse place, but I knew that he was not there with me anymore and it just broke my heart into more pieces than it was originally made up of.
Chapter 7:
I knew that waking up the next day would be hard, but I never thought that it would be so unbearable. I knew that I had made the biggest mistake of my life by letting Xavier go. There were just so many things that I could have said in order to make him stay. The worst part was that there was no one else to blame. I was the only one who created that catastrophe and was supposed to pay the price for it.
I never knew that it would feel so bad. It was as if there was a bottomless pool of guilt and regret, and I was drowning in it. I was not sure if I was in love with Xavier or not, but I was sure of the heartbreak that I was going through at that time. I was damaged beyond repair and it felt like there was no other force in the entire universe who could mend my broken heart.
There was a part of me that forced me to question the reason behind my regret. What I was feeling was certainly strong and with every passing day, I was able to feel as if he was irreplaceable. Those were not the kind of emotions we feel for a friend. It took his absence to realize that I was in love with him. It was the first one of its kind and I was not able to comprehend what was happening to me, which led me to push Xavier away from my life.
