Fifteen: Logan
I sat at my computer coding for hours. It usually relaxed me, but today I was just frustrated. I couldn’t get myself out of my head. I was always thinking of Madeline. That woman is something else. Beautiful, smart, sexy. She has it all and it kills me.
It makes me afraid more than anything that I won’t be able to resist her. I nearly tore myself up last week when I thought someone really knew about us. I didn’t want that rumor to happen to her, more so than me. There was a lot on my plate and I knew how to handle it, I just didn’t want to.
I let the bustle around the office distract me before I went back up to my private office on the top floor. I had gotten used to seeing Madeline there, but she wasn’t in yet because she was still in class. I was eager for her to graduate so she could spend more time here, but it was still days away for her.
Mostly I wanted more time with her. Oddly enough I never thought of her alone, in theory. Her smooth curves and big beautiful eyes. She looks so innocent and yet she is of the wildest I have ever met.
I enjoy her company and her body just the same, I thought it would never happen with a woman. Every woman I have ever had in my bed just fills space, or warmth. And if it was with Jake that was the only thing exciting about it. But Madeline is more riveting than anything else. She keeps us both on our toes, meeting us thrust for thrust and pushing us to the edge. We fit together and I couldn’t imagine her any other way.
Things were already underway for her start up. We had meetings booked with PR and financial for days, there was no time to slack off. Last week I was worried about her disappearance but I knew I didn’t do much to help the situation. I couldn’t imagine how she felt the day she called me over and over, especially when I figured out what it was about. I wanted to be there to comfort her but I didn’t want to fuel the fire. I thought it was serious.
Even when I knew it wasn’t I didn’t call her. It was shitty, but at the time I wasn’t admitting to my feelings. Jake wasn’t either but he doesn’t admit to anything. I know I need her, we know we need her.
The numbers on the computer could only entertain me for so long before I gave up. I was ready to call it a day by lunch before I got a phone call from the Dean. He never calls unless it is serious.
Maybe I jumped the gun on the coast being clear.
“Hello?” I graveled. Sounding more tired than I realized.
“Moyer, I need you in my office as soon as possible.”
Fuck. I clenched my fists as my brain ticked to all the possibilities. Than damned rumor—well, it was the truth; must have gotten around to him somehow.
“Of course.” I said through clenched teeth.
He hung up.
Shit. I never get scrambled. No matter what business meeting I’m in or who I am talking to I don’t get flustered or even nervous. But now I could feel the beads of sweat on my neck and the moisture forming on my forehead. I fixed up my suit, tightened my tie and headed over to the school. It was a short walk but I would rather drive anyway.
I went to the academic building where his office was and street parked. It was always odd being on the campus, I honestly didn’t look old enough to be one of the professors. The campus was big, so most students don’t even know me. There was always the occasional awkward situation where a student is very forward. I always worry other professors see something. that’s why I was worried to even be seen with Madeline on campus. I expected it started that day at the coffee shop on campus.
Now the dean knows and I am prepared for whatever he has to say. In the elevator I thought of it. I could take a leave of absence, or abstain after this semester and say the business just needs more of my attention. I would not let this drag on and implicate Madeline in any way. I care too much about her, I want to take care of her. I have this inclination to just be there for her, even after this short time.
“I need to see the Dean please.” The secretary or assistant or something was a young student, staring at me blankly before she found herself.
“Mr. Mare is in a meeting right now.” I caught what she was saying after multiple stutters.
“I just got off the phone with him, can you check?” I pressed. She glanced at the door and I realized then she didn’t want to ask him. Not because she was stubborn or anything but because she was afraid.
I smiled softly and nodded. “It’s fine.” I headed straight to the door to knock and she uttered a small protest.
“What.” He called out.
I frowned and entered.
“You asked to see me.” I shut the door behind me and walked over to his desk.
“Yes, sit down.”
I tried to read his face but there was nothing. He was a hard guy, from down south if I remember correctly. His hair is graying but he is big and burly, everyone talks about what a football star he was back in his day. Nonetheless he could probably crush me if he wanted, that’s why it was so hard to tell what he was thinking. Was I fired? Were the police hiding? Surely, they assumed the student was underaged.
I sat down and tried to think of what to say. Should I say something first? Defend myself? Or maybe it would make me just sound guilty. But I held my own, and just sat there with my best poker face.
“I had to talk to you about something and I wasn’t sure how to approach it.”
I knew it. I had to get ahead of it.
“Look, sir. Whatever you heard isn’t true, necessarily.”
“Well, that’s good since I was thinking something entirely different.”
I wanted to tell him we cared about each other, and it wasn’t just me crossing the lines to sleep with a student. It was obvious by the expression on his face that he heard the rumors before. I had to set him straight somehow but in a good way.
“Will the student be implicated?”
I asked him. I didn’t want Madeline to be involved. If it meant keeping everything quiet, I would just quit.
“Your current students?” He inquired. I sat back, sort of frozen. Had I misunderstood in some way or was he messing with me?
“Um, maybe we aren’t on the same page.” I swallowed, smoothing out the fabric of my pants. I was so worried about Madeline getting involved I was willing to do anything to protect her. It was apparent then that my feelings for her run deep.
“I suppose not, Moyer. What did you think I was asking you about?”
Jake was the one who was good at lying, not me. I racked my brain for anything.
“The change in how final grades are weighted. I assumed I…had done something wrong. I’m more of a business guy and not a grader.” I chuckled.
He cracked a smile and stood up.
“No, that isn’t it. I want to ask you to teach a class in the fall. You can think about it, of course. I know you only agreed under special circumstances.”
I shifted in my seat as I exhaled. My whole body relaxed, he didn’t know about Madeline.
“I would have to think about it, yeah.” I finally said.
And he was right. I didn’t plan on doing another semester. It was hard enough already, maybe it was just because of Madeline. Although I do love teaching.
“Of course, of course. That’s all I wanted to talk to you about. Wanted to do it in person.”
I stood and buttoned my jacket. “Of course.” I shook his hand.
I left the office feeling light but also worried because I didn’t want that to actually happen. It was just until she graduated, then I wouldn’t feel this sword over my head.
I headed back to the office and intercepted Jake on the way up.
“What’s up with you? You look like shit, man.” He said, giving me a weird look.
“Madeline needs to hurry up and fucking graduate.”
Sixteen: Madeline
The library seemed above me somehow, and I knew it was stupid. Because I am still a student and I still have work to do. I have five classes, two of which had final essays that I am finalizing now. The last three were final projects I f
inished last week, one of which I was using the same presentation that I proposed. I would just have to practice.
I plugged my ears and found a secluded spot near the book shelves. Sarai was meeting me later but she said she might get held up at work, so I wasn’t all too sure. I tried to stay focus but I missed Jake and Logan. I was actually talking to them in a group message once in a while, but it wasn’t the same.
Even though they were the masters of dirty talk. They knew exactly what to say to me and it was so unnerving knowing that they knew me so well. I would often read their messages as I tried to fall asleep and get myself off to them. But it was nothing compared to the real thing. Their hands are so masterful and heavy on my skin. I could feel their grip even when they weren’t there.
I miss them so much and I feel sappy for it. But it’s the truth.
I go into work every day and there are too many people around to do anything. I think they like to build up the sexual tension just to explode later. It had been days since the apartment and we hadn’t done anything. I was in a constant state of arousal in some way, and one touch from them would probably send me over the edge.
I sighed and hummed to my music as I looked over my essay again. I wanted A’s in everything to keep my perfect GPA. I was riding on it, and it would only make it that much easier to get internships beyond this one.
And things were really underway. I had a meeting later with the marketing director to discuss a marketing plan. It was a real business meeting and I was excited, I couldn’t try and lie. But I was also nervous. I had to make real decisions, and Jake and Logan make me nervous enough.
I had to get going before I was late. I texted Sarai to let her know I was leaving and then was on my way. I already had a pant suit on, so I just tied my hair in a bun to look more professional and made sure I had everything I needed. I was nervous on the drive and when I got to the office I hoped to see them first. I knew they would put me at ease.
I entered the top floor and stopped at the landing, just short of Logan’s office. But they were both in there. Through the glass I only saw them and not who they were talking to. Logan wore only his dress shirt and had his arms crossed, his muscles bulging. He looked so powerful standing there. And then Jake was right there with him. Did he have to look so delicious? His office wear is not even office wear in my opinion. He had on green cargo pants and a black Henley. With his hands on his hips he stretched the material with his bulging muscles. His powerful thighs ran right to his chiseled ass and narrow waist, then his wide lats made him so imposingly large it was hard to look at. But you don’t want to look away.
I moved closer, I was practically panting as I watched them. They have such an effect on me it’s ridiculous. But as I got closer I saw who they were talking to. A woman. Beautiful as it gets. Her black dress was tight and professional. But she had beautiful curves and she was tall. Her bust and hips could be seen from a distance. The way she did her makeup made her look so stunning, and her hair was a perfect brown color. Better than mine, for sure; nicely curled in loose waves.
But they looked so angry, and she was firing back. I couldn’t tell what was going on. Jake started pacing, and he looked mad. He looked like he could explode any minute. I could see the veins in his arm as he clenched his hands into fists. I knew he would never hit a woman but it was hard to tell with the way he looked like he was about to fight.
I wanted to just go into my office. And I knew I should have, but I couldn’t move. I was watching the scene unfold. Logan tried to remain calm but once the woman screamed over him he lost it. He started pointing at the door, and it looked like she was daring him. They sound proofed these walls and I couldn’t hear a thing. It went on for a little longer, maybe two minutes and then Jake came and opened the door. I hid behind the pillar so he didn’t see.
The woman stormed past me and into the elevator. I don’t know why, but I followed.
Just until she stopped off at the end of the hall. Then she made a phone call and I practically held my breath.
“No, it’s done…I understand that but there isn’t anything I can do…we knew they were assholes. No, they are selling it. The meeting is a dupe.”
Selling it? Selling what? The only meetings we have today is the one with the director of marketing, and that was my meeting.
“Some new start up, it hasn’t even left planning stages…from their stupid college conquest. All I know is that it’s done.”
There was only so much I could put together, but I knew what the truth was. They were buying me out and didn’t even plan on telling me.
I fought the tears in the elevator ride down to the parking garage where I left in a hurry. I know, I have to stop being so unprofessional and so rash, but I was mad. I was in my feelings and stupid for letting emotions get in the way of work. Was that the only reason why I left?
Was I mad they didn’t tell or disappointed? I thought I meant more to them. At least more than being lied to. Did they plan to buy me out all along?
I gasped as I drove. They just wanted to get me in bed, didn’t they? Ugh, I should have known. Two men like that don’t want to keep me. Maybe they want me to be theirs for a night but not any longer than that. I fell under a spell. Sarai was right.
I arrived home in a flurry of emotions. It was a godsend that Sarai was right there in the living room. She saw me and immediately rushed over and hugged me.
“What’s wrong? You’re shaking, come here!”
I was a blubbering mess of tears and sadness, I knew it. And I could barely form words as I tried. She shushed me and wrapped me in a blanket as I calmed down. I felt like I cried for hours. So frustrated by everything. I started the day so happy to take finals and graduate and make strides with the new business, and then it all came crashing down.
It was so utterly disappointing I didn’t know what to do.
“What happened?” My sniffles died down and I tried harder to speak coherently.
“I overheard someone today in the office. She left Logan’s office angry after talking to him an Jake. I heard her on the phone saying they were selling off one of their new ‘college conquests.’ That’s how I knew it was me. I was the only one.”
I grabbed more tissues and blew my nose out and cried more. She muttered something but I couldn’t hear through my ringing ears.
“Oh no. What did they say?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. I didn’t talk to them. I left after I heard.”
I felt her face fall. I knew she was looking at me with those eyes of hers that see right through me.
“Oh god, Madeline. What the hell? You don’t know for sure!”
She yelled and my face curled up with more tears, but she held strong as she still rubbed my back soothingly.
“I got so mad. I didn’t know what to do. I know I shouldn’t have left so please don’t say that. I just didn’t know what to do. I’m so stupid. And I missed the meeting! I’ve wrecked it all.”
Even though I wasn’t sure there would even still be a meeting. I thought I was being bought off.
“I know. I know. You have to get it together and be professional about it so that you’re sure.” I nodded.
“I can say I got held up studying. They didn’t see me there. I just don’t think I can do anything until tomorrow.”
She patted my back soothingly.
“Okay. Sounds good.”
I nodded.
I went to my room and dried my tears. But once I was in the shower new ones appeared. I felt so betrayed, it was just so hard to stop my heart from constricting at the pain. I knew I wasn’t sure but what else could she have been talking about? I had no idea how they felt about me, and they never said much besides bedroom talk. I had to tell myself that was all it was.
It sounded good and it stayed in my head forever but that’s all it was. It was meant to get me hot and bothered and that was all. I have to find a way to walk in there and break things off. since they were buying me out anyway, they don�
��t need my company.
But I need them.
I got out of the shower and dressed in sweats to fit the occasion. I thought maybe I should call? I couldn’t reach for the phone. I was disappointed in them and myself. For being so unprofessional, and for letting them affect me. I knew I was so torn up because of how I felt about them. Hurt was the only thing I felt. I love them, I love them both and it hurts so much to not feel it back.
It was fast and sudden but it was real and it was consuming me. It wasn’t healthy or good for me. I’m sitting here in my bed, unable to move or do anything. It was sad and unfortunate. I was afraid and embarrassed to face them and that’s what was worse. I knew I wasn’t performing as well as I could, and they only saw me as a bedroom puppet. I dutifully played their game but now I need out.
There was nothing I could do but wish I wasn’t in love. Or wish I were loved.
Either way, I lose.
Seventeen: Jake
I was starting to realize how serious this thing with Madeline was. That week without hearing from her showed me that. And that night in her apartment was proof enough. I have had my fair share of women before, and it always felt the same. There was nothing different about any of them. They entertained me, and I always came, but there was nothing special about them.
But Madeline…before her it was like I was frozen, and she had thawed me out. Every time I touch her I seem to come alive, and when she touches me it reaches my insides, making me all soft and shit. It had been a few days since then and I could still feel her on me.
I wanted her so bad all the time, I was constantly hard and always picturing her. On my desk, on my chair, on my couch, on me. I want to see her take Logan up the ass as she sucks me off, but I know she isn’t ready for that yet. We knew she would be soon, though. And I was eagerly waiting for that day.
Everything was looking up when I went in to the office. We set up a meeting with the marketing director to make the first stride in her start up, making a full marketing plan that we would actually stick to. Even still, I came into the office looking like one of Logan’s students, but I’m just not about suits. Everyone here knows that.
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