My eyes connected with his, but he didn't give me an answer. All he did was rake his eyes up and down my body like he had last night. I pulled the covers up over myself and sat on the edge of his bed, my mind swirling with all sorts of thoughts. This was just a fling for him. I could see it in his eyes. Maybe it had been a new experience, taking someone's virginity. But this was serious for me, and he needed to know that.
I felt a connection with him. A connection I’d never had with anyone else in my life. I felt free with him. Happy with him. I didn't feel leashed or controlled or relegated to a particular belief or train of thought. He asked me about things. He wanted to know what I thought about things. He wanted me to voice what was going on in my life.
He seemed like he genuinely wanted to know.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Travis said.
“Don’t worry. I won’t tell you what you should say. I’ve done that my entire life. It isn’t fun.”
I slid from the edge of the bed, taking the comforter with me. Travis called after me as I stepped into the hallway. I needed to get my clothes back on. I needed to put up some sort of barrier between Travis and I again. I had become too vulnerable to quickly and it was going to break my heart if I had to lay there and listen to anymore of his non-committal answers.
I dropped the comforter in the middle of the floor and put my clothes on as my purse began to vibrate.
“Can we talk about this?” Travis asked.
I draped my dress over my body as I walked toward my stuff.
“We just did,” I said.
“No, we didn’t. You asked me a question I didn’t expect before I’d even woken up. That isn’t a conversation,” he said.
“Hold on,” I said. “Hello?”
“Ava, it’s Hunter. Where are you?”
“I’m out and about. What’s wrong? You sound frantic,” I said.
“It’s been interesting since you left. You apparently told Dad you went on a date?” he asked.
“So what if I did?” I asked.
“I don’t care, you are your own person. But you need to get home. Dad’s calling a family meeting and he’s expecting you to be there.”
“And if I don’t show up?” I asked.
I saw Travis look back at me from the coffee pot as he started to prepare it. Part of me wanted to stay and have coffee with him. Talk about this once the two of us had woken up. But I was filled with emotions I didn't understand and I had books in my car I knew could help me decipher them. Psychological books and sociological books. Books on human interaction and books on sex. I had to get back to them in order to help figure out what in the world I was feeling.
So we could have this conversation intelligently. Like two adults.
“If you’re going to show Dad you can make your own decisions as an adult, then you need to start making decisions with an adult mind. You don’t have to listen to what he has to say, but an adult would show up,” Hunter said.
“You’re right,” I said with a sigh. “Let me clean myself up a bit and I’ll come home.”
“I’m not going to even ask, but if you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about—”
“I’m taking a shower, you doofus. I didn’t take one last night,” I said.
I wasn’t about to reveal to my overprotective brother that I’d just lost my virginity to a stranger who was a decade older than me.
“Fine,” Hunter said. “But get home soon. It starts in an hour.”
“I’ll be there, don’t worry,” I said.
I hung up the phone and gathered my purse as I searched for my shoes. I found them shoved underneath the couch and I tried to reach for them. My fingers couldn't get to them and I snickered as I shook my head, but then the couch suddenly lifted off the floor.
I looked up and saw Travis holding up the couch for me so I can get to them.
I reached a little farther and got my shoes before he set the couch back down to the ground. I watched every muscle in his body flex with the effort, and I had to turn my head away to stay in control of my heart. It slammed against my chest as my skin cried out for him. Blood rushed through my ears and landed straight between my legs. I wanted him. I craved him. I needed to feel close to him again.
But I couldn't have him right now. There was too much going on I had to process.
I slipped my feet into my shoes and headed for the door. Travis didn't try to stop me and I didn't give him an opening to try. I ripped the front door open and walked out onto the porch, quickly heading for my car. My legs carried me as fast as I could as the memory of last night bombarded my mind.
Travis stood in the doorway, his torso bare and his eyes locked hard onto me. I jammed my keys into the ignition, needing to get out of there quicker. I knew if he stared into my eyes anymore than he already was, I would stay. I would stay and have a conversation I was not ready to have and I would miss the family meeting that would paint me as an adult in the eyes of my father. I needed to be there for that meeting. I needed to stand by my brothers and rally against my parents for a better life.
But I also needed to cope with the adult decision I had already made.
I made a decision that was life altering to me last night, and I needed to deal with the emotions that came with it. I needed to accept the consequences of my decision, no matter what had influenced it. That was what an adult did, and that was what I had to do.
I couldn’t do that in the presence of Travis, however. I knew that much.
I pulled away and watched as the cabin receded in my rearview mirror. I watched him step out onto the porch, his eyes following after me as my car receded from his view. He was nothing but an ant-like figure in my mirror before my eyes blurred my vision with tears.
I was angry and I was hurt and I felt empty inside.
I thought being an adult was going to feel better than this. I thought being with Travis was going to feel better than this. I thought my life was going to be easier and filled with decisions to make my life a better place. I didn’t expect to feel things like this. To feel an aching sadness in the pit of my chest.
I felt that type of emotion for the past twenty-two years of my life.
I knew I had to leave Travis behind. At least long enough to screw my head back on straight. I needed to use this car ride to get into gear for the meeting ahead. I wish I had asked Hunter for more information on what prompted the meeting. Was Dad angry? Was he upset? Was he tired or frustrated? Did it have to do with the company or with a function that was coming up?
Whatever it was, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. Only this time, I wasn’t sure if I could run to Travis afterwards.
And that thought shoved a tear down my cheek.
Eighteen
Ava
I walked into the house and heard the fighting my family was already doing. I followed the sound of the raised voices, trying to stick as close to the wall as I could. The family lawyer sat on the couch watching everything unfold. This was a business family meeting, not a personal one.
I felt a bit of relief flood my veins.
“Hunter?” I said with a whisper. “Hunter?”
My brother looked over at me before he slapped Finn and Lorenzo. The three of them came over to my side as we stood in the doorway. The lawyer looked up at us, a stern gaze in his eyes as the four of us huddled in the doorway. My father rattled on about something to him while my mother sat in the corner, her back straight in her body poised.
Like the little trophy she was intended to be for the rest of her life.
“What the hell’s going on?” I asked.
“A business venture with the company is tanking,” Hunter said.
“That doesn’t tell me a damn thing,” I said.
“Dad’s trying to purchase some land in the area in order to lay a gas line through it. The company isn’t budging,” Finn said.
I blinked at my brother as my blood ran cold. Did he just say what I thought he did?
<
br /> “What?” I asked.
“Ava, you’re not that stupid,” Lorenzo said. “Dad’s company is trying to purchase part of Kettle in order to lay a gas line through it. He wants to develop the town. Bring it up with his name written all over it. Why did you think we were here all summer?”
“I thought this was a fucking family vacation,” I said.
“Oh, language. I like it. Sass looks good on you sis,” Hunter said.
Holy shit. Our company was the company threatening Travis's family. My father was the one who wanted to tear up the mountainside and lay that stupid gas line. He was the one using all of the strong-arm tactics in order to get Travis's father to budge.
I was shocked, but the sad thing was that I wasn't surprised.
“How long has Dad been going at the lawyer like that?” I asked.
“Fifteen minutes. Apparently, Dad’s company is trying to get the government to play in our favor and he can’t. He has to establish the fact that this company has a monopoly of some sort or is going something illegal, and he can’t. He’s trying to find other ways to get them to sell,” Finn said.
“Why can’t Dad just lay the lines around the mountains?” I asked.
“It’ll cost him millions more,” Lorenzo said.
“So the fuck what? The company has the money. Why does he have to destroy the beauty of this place just to get shit done cheaper?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him?” Hunter asked.
I looked back at my father, who was red-faced and irate. The entire reason Travis was so upset was because of them. Because of us. Because of me. How in the world was I going to explain that to him? Especially after this morning? I had no idea if I was ever going to see him again, and I was never going to get a chance to explain myself. I didn't want my father tearing up the mountain side and I wanted things to be okay with Travis. It was too beautiful and I had too many precious memories in this town to see it disappear.
But between my father's disgusting business antics and the fact that Travis wouldn't even talk to me about what we were, I had no idea how to resolve this. I wasn't sure I could. But I knew I had to try. My voice was all I had, along with the business knowledge I had acquired from my books, so I was going to use it.
No matter what it cost me.
“Okay,” I said. “I will.”
“Wait, what?” Lorenzo asked.
“Are you out of your mind?” Finn asked.
“Daddy?” I asked.
The conversation stopped and my father turned his angry gaze onto me. His eyes raked up and down my body as the lawyer sighed with relief, glad he was no longer being yelled at. I knew how he felt. I knew what it felt like to be berated and bombarded by the booming voice of my father. I stepped away from my brothers and into the room, praying that I was making the right choice.
Maybe this would win a conversation with Travis.
“And where in the world have you been?” my father asked.
“Out. Listen, I don’t think the gas line is a good idea,” I said.
I felt everyone in the room staring at me as my father snickered.
“And what makes you think that? You know, since you’re so knowledgeable and independent now,” he said.
“For one, taking out the mountainside creates a risk for rockslides. Someone getting hurt laying that pipeline is going to run you an exorbitant cost with regard to medical claims. And that risk doesn’t go away once you level part of the mountainside. You create unstable fissures with the explosions to the side of the mountains, and if rockslides form or if part of the mountain collapses, it could crack the pipeline and leak thousands of gallons of gas into Kettle,” I said.
I watched as a grin appeared on our lawyer’s face.
“Excuse me?” my father asked.
“It’ll take you millions more to route the gas line around the mountains, but it’ll be safer for the town and the people working. You can either spend the money making the pipeline safer and more stable, or you can spend it repairing cracks in the pipeline and paying out of the company’s pocket in medical expenses when claims are filed,” I said.
“You have no business coming in here after everything you have put this family through—after everything you have put your own mother through—and tell me what to do with my business,” my father said.
“You said it before. You created all of this for us, right? So why can’t we have a say in what happens with the company?” I asked.
“Because I’m still running it. And as far as I’m concerned, all of my ungrateful children don’t deserve any of it,” my father said.
“She’s right,” our lawyer said. “You do run all of those risks.”
“Shut up, Michael. You can’t even do your own damn job right,” my father said.
“You can’t force the federal government to intervene on this topic,” Michael said. “You can’t use the money you donated to the president’s campaign as a way to strong-arm him into this. They could shut you down for something like that.”
“I’m trying to better this town, and that fucking Benson family is standing in the way of that! My media tactics didn’t work, the threatening letters haven’t worked. Hell, they’re shooting at the scouts I send into the woods,” my father said.
“Wait. Media tactics?” I asked.
That was why the name Travis Benson sounded so familiar. My father was the one who waged war against them in the media. All of those propaganda-like commercials he ran against their company. Why the hell could I not recall that company's name?
“Shut up and go stand with your mother,” my father said.
“No,” I said. “Our company is the one that made those awful commercials against the Benson family?” I asked.
“How do you know that name? And why the hell do you think this is your company, you ungrate, inconsiderate child?” my father asked.
“I can’t remember the name of the company, but I do remember their names. You slaughtered that man in the media. You painted him to be an absent father. A feeble-minded man who didn’t know how to run his own company. Why would you do that?” I asked.
“You want to be an adult, yet you can’t comprehend why adults do specific things? Sounds like your mother more and more everyday,” my father said.
“You can’t run that gas line through the mountains. It will destroy them. You can have your pipeline and the mountains can stay intact. There is a solution here that gives everyone what they want,” I said.
“That isn’t how businesses are run, sweetheart. That isn’t how empires are made,” my father said.
“Don’t call me ‘sweetheart.’ I hate it. And secondly, that isn’t how empires are made either. Empires didn’t conquer. They grew with the help and input of their people. But rulers had to earn their trust. Rulers had to work with them. Now, if empires wanted to branch out beyond their formulated borders, then the conquering happened. But you haven’t done that. You haven’t breached the borders of Washington State yet,” I said.
My father's eyes burned into me as the lawyer stood from the couch. He excused himself from the room and walked by me, offering his hand for me to slap. I gave him a small high-five as I heard a slow clap begin behind me, pride welling in my chest.
I turned around and saw my brothers clapping. Supporting me with grins on their faces as I stood toe-to-toe with my father on his business practices.
“When in the world did you start taking an interest in business?”
I whipped my gaze over to my mother and took in her proud stare. There was a grin on her cheeks and a surprise in her eyes. For the first time in years, I saw a sparkle in her features. Her skin glowed with intrigue and happiness as she stood from her chair. My mother was proud of me. Impressed with me. Not angry like my father. Not shocked like our lawyer. But proud.
Like a mother should be.
“Books. I snuck them in before, but I’m not doing that anymore. I’m not hiding my knowledge or my thirst for it
. Dad, you’re going about this all wrong. If you want to build an empire of a company, then you have to start by making compromises with those you run into. If you continuously burn bridges, you’ll be stuck on an island you’ve conquered by yourself,” I said.
I couldn't identify the look in my father's eyes, but I knew it wasn't good. He gripped his fists as he started pacing the floor. His face was redder than I had ever seen it and sweat started to gather on his brow. He physically bit down on his tongue, his temple throbbing with the movement as my legs grew weak. I was paralyzed with fear. I have never seen this kind of anger in my father's stance before, and I knew that whatever was coming was going to be bad.
“Get out of my sight,” my father said.
“What?” I asked.
“I gave you the easiest life imaginable. While other fathers are forcing college onto their children, I groomed you for a life of ease. A life of bearing children, rushing them off to nannies, and sitting in a room entertaining guests. I made sure every decision was made for you so you wouldn’t have to struggle making them yourself, and this is the thanks I get!? My daughter assuming she knows how to run my company better from some old library books!? You are a selfish, ungrateful piece of work, Ava Lucas. And I want you out of my sight.”
“Is that what you thought you gave me? By taking my ability to decide the kind of life I wanted, you thought you were helping me?” I asked.
“Get out!” my father roared.
“Fine!” I said. “I’ll get out. And I won’t just get out, but I’ll stay out. This is the most insane thing I’ve ever witnessed. You’re acting like a toddler who can’t have his way. The Benson’s company won’t give you exactly what you want, so you’re throwing an adult-sized tantrum about it!”
“Ava,” Hunter said. “I think that’s enough.”
“Just to let you know, I’m applying for a job at the library. I’ve been thinking about it recently with all the time I’ve been spending there, and a job has opened up. I’m putting in my resume for it and getting a place of my own,” I said.
“With what money?” my father asked. “And what resume!?”
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