by JP Summers
“I mean it, Carson. I can forgive you for what happened in our past, but I’ll never forgive you if you quit fighting to live. If you love me as much as you say you do, you’ll keep fighting to stay alive.”
Carson pressed his forehead against mine, our frozen noses tenderly rubbing against one another’s as he asked, “Do you remember the song we danced to at prom? The one you said described how you felt about me?”
Nodding, a half smile played across my lips as I contentedly replied, “Of course I do.”
With his eyes shut, Carson continued gliding his nose across mine. “Will you sing it with me?”
“Yes,” I whispered, feeling each beat of my heart slow by the second.
Carson adoringly cradled my face, erasing the last of my stray tears with the trembling tips of his fingers and quietly sang, “When we are apart…Every minute…Every hour…My mind is all consumed with thoughts of you…”
I nestled my face into the crook of Carson’s neck, barely able to keep my hands wrapped around his torso as I sang the chorus, “I can’t live without…You’re all I need... You’re everything I want…I can’t think about anyone else but you.”
With every last breath left in us, we joined together singing the next verse, “The things we do… What we go through… All we see…Is you always and forever with me...”
Carson stopped moving. I frantically checked for a pulse. Nothing. I yelled out to him. No response. His last breath was felt near the edges of my mouth as he drifted away from me.
Using the last ounce of strength I had in me, I let go of his muscular frame, allowing it to fall backwards onto the table so that I could climb on top of his lifeless body and lay my body against his. I kissed his lips one last time, then pressed my head against his chest praying for my time to end because the agony of Carson dying in my arms was too much for my fragile heart to bear.
My body suddenly relaxed as my heart rate slowed even more. As I gave myself over, all I heard were the deafening sounds of the wind blowing in a choppy, rhythmic beat and what sounded like voices...
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Whispers of familiar voices compelled me to open my eyes. I was greeted by a nurse, Mira, Audrey, and my parents, all with worried looks dancing across their faces. My body still felt cold, but it wasn’t numb. My throat was painfully raw. It felt like someone poured acid down it then went over it with a rake. I tried moving only to be restricted by all kinds of wires connected to my chest and arm.
All I wanted to know was where Carson was.
The nurse paged for my doctor while checking my vitals. My mom kissed my forehead a million times, praising the Lord that I was alive. My dad was an even bigger mess, bawling like a baby.
The nurse was almost finished checking my blood pressure when I looked over at Mira and Audrey, rasping, “Where’s Carson?”
The looks on their faces sent a disconcerting chill down my spine. Mira was the first one to break down while Audrey grabbed my hand. I looked at the nurse, pleading, “What happened to the guy who was in the cottage with me?”
Then a man walked into the room. “You’re finally awake. I’m Dr. Duncan. It’s good to see that all of your vitals have improved immensely since the MEDEVAC brought you in yesterday.”
Confusion set in as I questioned the doctor, “So I was brought to the hospital in a helicopter?”
“Yes. It’s okay that you don’t remember being rescued. Most people with your severe case of hypothermia don’t remember much. The local sheriffs and police department were concerned about the amount of snow reportedly covering the road up to the cottage. It would have taken days or even a week to clear it off and send an emergency vehicle through. Because the electricity had gone out, your family and friends worried about your safety, and so a crew was sent to bring you to better conditions. You are very lucky to be alive, Ms. Deltoro. If it wasn’t for the rescue team getting to you when they did, you wouldn’t be here.”
I tried to comprehend all of doctor’s information at once. I was still very weak and lightheaded, and I was still so cold. Every time I attempted to move one of my limbs, an uncomfortable tingling sensation coursed through me, reminding me how extremely close I had come to being a human corpsicle. I noticed the fresh gauze covering the areas where the mountain lion had left gashes on my hands and arms.
My dad was asking Dr. Duncan questions about my restrictions when I grabbed the nurse’s hand. “Please, tell me what happened to my friend Carson. I need to know.”
With a sympathetic look, she replied, “He’s still in a coma.”
“Oh, God! He’s alive!” A huge wave of relief washed over me despite my body writhing in pain.
The doctor turned his attention toward me. “I don’t want to get your hopes up. His condition is grave,” he said as kindly as he could. “The paramedic revived your friend, but during the ride back he went into cardiac arrest again. He’s in the ICU ward being monitored.”
“Can I go see him?”
“You can’t be moved right now. You’re still very fragile, and your body is only just starting to recuperate from the ordeal you’ve been through. It’s very important you get your rest so you can heal properly.”
“I don’t care! I need to see Carson now!” I demanded in a distraught tone.
“Tia, your recovery is vital to your health and overall well-being. I’ll make a deal with you. As long as your vitals are stable after your next bag of IV fluids, I will allow a nurse to take you down to see Carson for a short visit.”
“Oh, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!” I excitedly screeched, using up whatever voice and strength I had left in my fatigued body.
My parents decided to go back to their hotel rooms then come back to see me later on. Before they took off, I had to make a promise that I wouldn’t ignore my own recovery and get some rest.
Two and a half hours later, after I was deemed well enough to see Carson, Audrey and Mira helped the nurse put me in a wheelchair, where I was still attached to all of my monitors, and then took me up to the fourth floor. As they wheeled me into Carson’s room, my heart ached at the sight of all the machines and monitors he was hooked up to.
“Hi there, I’m Denise, Carson’s nurse. Due to his condition, only one person is allowed to see him,” she informed us.
Once Audrey and Mira wheeled me over to Carson’s bed they, excused themselves to sit in the waiting room to give me some time alone with him. I took his hand and held it up to my face while studying him. He already looked like a corpse. Tears flooded my face, falling onto his hand as I repeatedly kissed it. He had already been through too much to give up now. His body was fighting to live. I willed for Carson to pull through this. I had spent almost five years without him. I couldn’t imagine doing that for the rest of my life.
I leaned just enough out of my wheelchair to be able to whisper in his ear, “You have to fight, Carson. You can be so damn hardheaded, which is why I know you can beat this. Please don’t give up. Please don’t leave me again,” I begged.
My eyes grew heavy, but I didn’t want Denise to see that I had become exhausted again, otherwise I might be sent back to my room. I tried my best to stay awake as my eyelids wildly fluttered. It was physically impossible to avoid my body’s need to rest again. A ten minute nap should be plenty of time to feel refreshed.
Those few minutes of resting my eyes actually turned into an hour when I woke up to a loud sound coming from his monitor. I fell asleep in my wheelchair while holding Carson’s hand, which felt warm inside mine. I immediately pressed the call button and his nurse rushed in to check on vitals. I held my breath to see what she’d say.
Denise smiled at me. “Whatever you’re doing keep, doing it. He’s responding to you.”
“All I’ve been doing his holding Carson’s hand since I got into his room.”
“Well, that has to be doing the trick. This is the first time his blood pressure has significantly improved. You can even see some color returning to his fac
e, too.”
“Do you think I can stay with him just a little longer? Just in case he wakes up. I really want to be here for that.”
“Well, let me ask you this. How are you feeling… I mean REALLY feeling right now?”
“I’m a little tired and aching a bit, but my dizziness is gone and my throat isn’t burning anymore.”
“I want to check with Dr. Duncan first, but as long as you’re improving, too, I don’t see why another hour or two would hurt.”
I thanked her, then went back to staring at Carson while he continued to rest peacefully. I kept looking at the clock hanging on the wall across from me. The second hand ticked away as I grew tired, but I worried if I rested my eyes even for a minute or two I might be forced to leave Carson’s room.
Right when I thought I couldn’t stay awake for much longer, I noticed Carson’s eyelids flutter. I continued kissing his hand as he made several efforts to keep his eyes open. When he finally could keep them open, his eyes darted around the room, as if he were trying to determine where he was. Then they rested on me and he whispered hoarsely, “Tia?”
I nodded and replied, “Yes, Carson, it’s me… Tia.”
Carson reached up with his free hand to rub at his throat while trying to clear it. I pressed the call button for the nurse to come back into the room as he softly mouthed out “water.” A huge grin was plastered across my face when Denise walked in.
“Well, hello there, Mr. Rodriguez. I’m Denise. I’ll be your ICU nurse until we get you back up and running like brand new.”
Carson attempted to say hi, but it difficult for him to speak. I squeezed his hand and mentioned to Denise, “I think he is trying to say he wants some water.”
Carson nodded while Denise replaced a bag of some kind of fluids on his IV drip and noted, “I will get a small cup of ice chips for your girlfriend to feed to you for now. If you can hold that little bit of fluid down, then I’ll be more than happy to bring you a huge cup of water.”
As Denise was walking towards the door, I kindly asked, “Would you mind doing me a tiny little favor?
“Sure, hon. Anything you need.”
“We have friends in the waiting area who want to know about Carson. Would you please tell them that he is finally awake?”
“I sure will, and just so you know, Dr. Duncan asked me to get you back to your room so you can get some rest, but I assured him you’re resting just fine and I’ll even check then report your vitals to him until my shift ends.”
“Thank you so much, Denise. I really appreciate what you are doing to help me spend more time with Carson.”
“Well, I can’t separate you two. I wouldn’t like to be apart from my boyfriend after surviving a brush with death from hypothermia.”
I’m not sure why I didn’t bother to correct either one of Denise’s comment regarding me being his girlfriend. I didn’t see Carson’s initial reaction to her statement, but decided to save myself any type of awkwardness and made sure to clearly divulge, “I’m sorry I didn’t correct Denise. I shouldn’t have let her assume we were together.”
Carson made several attempts to clear his throat before he whispered ‘I have no objections.’
Denise returned with two cups of ice with spoons in them, one for me and one for Carson. I started out slow, only giving him a few ice chips at a time. He took the other cup and attempted to feed me, too. His sweet gesture made an enormous smile spread across my face. One these doctors would have to surgically remove, otherwise it would never disappear.
After we consumed all of our ice chips, Carson cleared his throat. “I thought I had died once I saw you next to me.”
Confused as to why he’d think that, I questioned, “What made you come to that conclusion?”
Slightly grinning, Carson divulged, “When I started to open my eyes, there was this glorious, bright glow coming off you. For a moment my mind believed I was in the presence of a beautiful angel.”
I felt a sudden tinge of warmth consume my face. There was no doubt I was blushing over Carson’s compliment. I reached for his hand, gently kissing just above all of the tubes and tape to say, “Only you can make me feel like I am the loveliest thing to be admired.”
Carson winked back at me. Slowly, his eyelids started to droop. Finally, he dozed off again. I sat by his side, admiring everything about him—his messy black hair, the fact that his top lip is slightly thinner than the bottom one, the scruffy-looking beard he’d grown from not shaving, and the four stitches closing up the gash just above the left eyebrow, a wound that he gotten when he pushed me out of the way of the mountain lion.
I, too, was starting to have difficulty keeping my eyes open, but I overheard Denise speaking in the hallway. When the person replied, I could tell it was a woman... A woman with an oddly familiar voice. I leaned out of the wheelchair, hoping to catch a glimpse of the person, but almost fell.
I heard the sounds of footsteps coming towards the room and immediately sat up to look alert, fearing I might be made to go back to my own room. “Um, excuse me, but there’s a woman in the hallway who says she’s Carson’s wife?” Denise said upon entering the room, a confused look on her face.
She turned around to look at the door, then turned back around to say, “She is demanding he not have any visitors other than her. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to go back to your room.”
Just then, Erin barged into the room with a hysterical look in her eyes. “What the hell are you doing here, Tia?”
I didn’t have time to respond as Denise looked at Erin and demanded, “Ma’am, you are going to have to keep your voice down or I will have to get someone to escort you out. This area of the hospital contains critical patients and families who have enough stress to deal with. I will be back in ten minutes to give Carson another bag of IV fluids. I don’t know exactly what’s going here, but what I do know is that you two have to play nice or both of your visiting privileges will be temporarily revoked.”
“Fine. I’ll keep my voice down,” Erin replied with a sour look on her face.
As soon as Denise left the room, Erin ran toward the other side of Carson’s bed with tears falling down her face. She sat in the chair next to him, holding his hand while giving me the evil eye. Regardless of what Denise had told the two of us, it didn’t take long for Erin’s claws to come out.
Rolling her eyes, she whispered, “What do you think you’re trying to pull? If Carson was awake, he’d have you kicked out of his room.”
I smiled at Erin, knowing the truth would irritate the hell out of her, then quietly replied, “I’m sure you have that all backward. If he was awake, you would be the one leaving. Not me.”
“When will you ever learn, Tia? Carson hates you for ruining his life. He will never forgive you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. He has forgiven me and he knows that I wasn’t the one who ruined his life. As a matter of fact, I think you get partial credit for that one.”
“What the hell are you implying?”
Denise came back into the room and interrupted, “I think the two of you need to finish your little conversation away from the ICU rooms.”
I nodded. Erin got up from her chair to lead the way while Denise wheeled me out. We ended up at the end of the floor where there was a small break room with a table and a few chairs. I thanked Denise for her help as she closed the door behind her. Then I turned my wrath toward Erin. “Cut the bullshit! I know you played with my life and Carson’s. The funny thing was, you actually had me fooled for a while. I was skeptical about you in the beginning, and then Carson asked me to give you chance. The very second I told you his secret, you let it come out and ruined both of our lives. How do you even sleep at night?”
Erin sat back in her chair with a devious grin on her face. “I sleep just fine knowing I kept you two apart. I was Carson’s whole life until you showed up. When he met you, all I heard was how wonderful you were and he was so damn lucky to have you in his life. I got so sick of him pa
ying attention to you I decided to do something about it.”
“So this was all about being jealous of me?” I questioned.
Erin moved closer and glared at me, a fiendish smile playing across her lips. She continued, “Oh, honey, it was more than about jealously. It was also about you barging into my territory and trying to take what was mine.”
Furious and simultaneously disgusted by what Erin was owning up to, I shook my head in disbelief.
“My brother was never an innocent bystander because he always lusted after you. Evan was the perfect pawn in my little plan to ruin whatever intentions you had with Carson after prom. I made sure he showed up to ruin your date with Carson. I was actually going to break up with my boyfriend the week before prom but decided to save it so that it turned into a big dramatic fiasco because Carson was always so easy manipulate.”
“You are one sick and demented bitch!”
“Actually, I’m just someone who goes after what she wants and could care less about any casualties that arise because of it. You telling me about Carson’s dirty, little secret was just the icing on the cake. Of course, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to run and tell the principal about your little plan to help keep Carson from getting caught. I figured when Carson found out, he would be more pissed with you than me. I was right. It worked like a charm.”
I needed to get out of the room before I reached over and strangled Erin with one of the cords attached to me. It was one thing for her to be so spiteful toward me. I just didn’t understand how she could be so manipulative of Carson’s life.
Denise returned just in time to stop me from killing Erin.
“Dr. Duncan called the nurse station insisting you get back to your room and get more rest. One of the nurses from your floor will be here to get you within the next five minutes,” Denise warned.
As soon as Denise had left, Erin stood and faced me, standing directly in front of my wheelchair, forcing me to look up at her. Putting her hands on her hips, she viciously confessed, “When I discovered that you slept with Carson at that party, I told him the only way I would forgive him was for us to move far away from you and get married. I honestly didn’t think he would go for it at first, but to my surprise, he did. Once I got him to leave, I knew it would kill you that you’d never see him again.”
