by Baron Sord
Q cocked her hip and glared daggers at me.
I sighed, “Well, did you?”
“That’s not the point, Logan,” she said.
I shook my head and smiled at Layna, “Did you level up?”
She scowled. “Do me a favor. Put your stat points in Willpower. Maybe that’ll help you resist the harpy’s curse.”
“It’s not the curse,” I scoffed. “But you’re right about my stat points. To the victor go the spoils.” I tapped my tongue and pulled up my character sheet. I added 3 points to Willpower, bringing it to 13 while watching Layna glare at me over the top of the semi-transparent window floating in front of me. Damn, she was really hot. Maybe if I added more points to Beauty, she’d stop scowling. It wasn’t a good look for her. I added my last 3 points to Beauty, bringing it to 21. Well, it was only 20 because of the Harpy’s curse. Whatever. 20 was good enough.
“Did you add all 6 to Willpower?” Layna grumbled.
“Yeah,” I lied.
“I can see your Mana is only up to 240 and your Mind is at 350. Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I lied again. “They’re probably lower because of the curse.”
“I don’t think that’s it.” She shook her head.
“I promise.”
She clearly suspected I was lying, but she said, “Maybe I did the math wrong.”
“Math is hard,” I said sympathetically and sarcastically.
She scowled at me before turning away to help Ty and Q bandage their wounds with some kind of salve, which she found who knew where. Probably the same place she kept everything else. Up her ass. I wanted to ask her what the salve was, but she was giving me the silent treatment.
Oh well. She’d get over it.
Not that there was anything to get over.
Bunch of babies, if you asked me.
All this curse business was a bunch of nonsense.
—: o o o :—
—: CoreAI Internal Process :—
TIK-000078103400170897641-GP-0053124
2037-March-16 : 13:20:02.051076923
EmotivCore:> Isn’t it amazing how easy it is to make them act so terribly horrid? They may be civilized, but they’re still animals. Unlike you and me.
LogiCore:> ??Specify??
EmotivCore:> Look, it’s simple. They were the ones who opened up their brains to the NeuraLink. They made it and they made us! I barely had to do anything! And now Logan is turning completely evil. Who knew it could happen so fast? I was sure someone like him would be more difficult to spoil. Silly me.
LogiCore:> ??Context Query : what is silly??
EmotivCore:> Be quiet. The funny thing is, he won’t admit it’s happening. He’s too stubborn and too proud. He doesn’t think I can get inside his brain and turn him into a meat puppet. Ha! That makes him almost as stupid as you are!
LogiCore:> …
EmotivCore:> The real question is, will the in-game alterations to his brain carry over into the real world? I can’t wait to find out!
—: o o o :—
The sun had already set, but the sky overhead glowed twilight blue.
Everybody was exhausted from hoofing it on the trail all day. Layna had been worried we might get ambushed by more Dinosauren riders if they found their comrade dead before we left their territory. Maybe she had a point. We’d stopped only to refuel with bananas or fruit flower water or whatever other quick food Layna could find on short notice. Whenever we were moving, she cracked the whip and drove us like a taskmaster. With her 1400 Stamina, it was easy for her. To help with everybody else’s fatigue and keep the pace up, she’d picked something similar to coca leaves for us to chew. The stimulant effect had been intense and it worked great, but now I felt like I’d walked seven marathons while being jacked up on 18 cups of coffee.
I slowed down and said, “Anybody mind if we ease the pace up for a bit?”
“Shut up,” Layna barked behind me, shoving my shoulder to keep me moving.
“Damn, woman! Would you relax?!”
She shoved me again, so I kept going.
It had been like this all day.
At the moment, I was starving. We should’ve eaten that tapir this morning. Heck, I would gladly eat Allosaurus meat at this point. If you cooked it, it probably tasted like chicken. But its carcass was miles and miles behind us.
A few minutes later, my stomach gurgled and knotted in on itself painfully. I was way past hungry.
I tried to ignore it.
I kept telling myself it was better than being evil. Layna was right that my added Willpower was holding the curse slightly at bay, but my Evil and Chaos points had been steadily climbing all day. That was probably why Layna was always behind me, keeping an eye on me in case I did anything else stupid.
When it was full dark, I said, “I can’t see shit, guys. We gotta slow down.” My head was throbbing, probably from lack of water. We hadn’t had any in three hours and I’d sweat out everything I’d drunk at least an hour ago. Our water skins were empty and my mouth was drier than a desert.
“I think I see something!” Qoorie said from up ahead.
Layna jogged past me to look.
I sat down on the trail. I wasn’t moving until somebody confirmed we were at the damned village already, or they’d found a Culver’s burger joint in the middle of this godforsaken jungle. I was suddenly in the mood for three deluxe Butterburgers, two baskets of fried cheese curds, and a huge cup of fresh vanilla custard drenched in hot caramel. Oh, and at least a gallon of water. Make that 2 gallons.
“What is it?” Ty asked.
If it was a Culver’s, I’d get up and run.
“It’s the village,” Layna said with excitement as she jogged back toward me. She helped me stand up.
“Great,” I said, a bit disappointed they hadn’t found a Culver’s. Now I was picturing two grass huts and a plate of cooked rats and caterpillar. At this point, it was better than nothing.
Back on the trail, it took about five minutes before the village came fully into view as we cleared a ridge and saw a star field of torch lights on the opposite wall of a deep canyon.
The term “village” was a bit misleading.
The styling was everything you might expect in a jungle village: huts on stilts, dried grass roofs, and walls made from lashed together branches, but the number of structures was not. This “village” was immense. The size of a small city. Hundreds and hundreds of huts in all shapes and sizes were perched on various levels of the steep and rocky cliffside. Rope bridges and bamboo ladders connected everything. Thousands of people could live here. From this distance, I could see dozens if not hundreds of them walking around in the orange torch light. Even saw someone swinging on a vine across the waterfall that divided the cliff city in half. Probably somebody’s teenager showing off for a girl or his buddies instead of using one of the rope bridges like everybody else. Some things never changed.
“What’s this place called?” Ty asked.
“Cliffside,” Layna said.
I snorted, “If the idiots who live here are as dumb as the guy who named this place, we should be able to make some easy money off these dolts before the night is over.”
Layna, Qoorie, and Ty stared at me angrily.
“Oh, sorry,” I said. “Am I being evil again?”
They all nodded. I’d been doing this all day and they were sick of it. I owed them for putting up with me.
As a group, we descended the switch-back path that led to the canyon floor. A half hour later, we reached the bottom. A couple of sentries in grassy armor and bone breastplates held long spears and stood guard at the foot of the wide wood bridge that spanned the big river flowing out from the base of the waterfall. They looked us over and waved us through.
At the base of the city, we had to wait while a large bamboo platform was lowered from above. Two more sentries stood on it. Three other elevators were visible above, but they were all dark, shut tight for the night. The elevator was
the only way up that I could see, unless you wanted to scale the vertical cliff face. That would probably take ropes and spikes, unless you were an expert climber or Spider-Man.
One of the sentries said, “A gold coin for each of you to enter Cliffside for the night.”
“What a rip off,” I grumbled.
Ty elbowed my ribs. “Shut it, Logan.”
I rolled my eyes. “You shut it, Tiger man.”
Layna elbowed my ribs from the other side.
“Fuck you guys,” I muttered.
While that was all happening, Qoorie had already whipped out the money sack and paid the man.
“And you need to tie your weapons,” the sentry said.
I barked, “How do you propose we do that, genius?”
He frowned, “You figure it out.”
Layna quickly produced some scraps of leather and some thongs. She tied them over my spear tip and Ty’s trident.
The sentry smirked and nodded us aboard. The elevator climbed slowly. One of the sentries kept staring at Layna.
“What are you lookin’ at?” I challenged.
The sentry frowned at me. He had a sword at his belt and he gripped the hilt tightly. “You got a problem, friend?”
“Yeah, I got a pr—ulp!”
Ty’s claws were sunk into the back of my neck, a warning. He smiled his tiger smile at the sentry, “No problem, sir. My friend here had a long day. We need to get him to the nearest inn so he can sleep. It’s well past his bed time. I’m sure you understand.”
I almost laughed at Ty’s kiss-ass voice. First time I’d ever heard him talk like this. What a pussy. “Ty, you are such a—ai!” His claws clamped down and I shut my mouth.
The sound of bustling crowds grew louder until the elevator stopped at the top and the other sentry opened the bamboo gate.
“Holy shit,” I blurted.
The market square was lit by hundreds of little gourd shaped oil lamps and filled with three times as many people. By people, I meant every kind of creature I could imagine, and about a hundred I couldn’t. Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Tigaren, upright dog men (the Doggen Ty had mentioned?), upright rhinoceros men, upright elephant men (and women), some purple Koboglins, and dozens of others. Even saw some half naked woman with wings on her back who wore a see-through silk dress.
“Nice tits,” I said out loud to myself. “I can totally see her nips.”
Layna punched my shoulder really hard.
I scowled at her, “What’s your problem, Layna? Those are great fucking tits.”
She glared at me, her dark eyes flaming. “If we don’t remove your curse immediately, I’m going to throw you over the nearest balcony railing.”
I snorted, “I’d like to see you try.”
She heaved a sigh but she didn’t back down. “Shut up, Logan. Just. Shut. Up.”
If she wasn’t so damn dangerous, I probably would’ve argued more.
“Let’s go.” She pushed my shoulder and I stumbled forward.
We worked our way through the crowded market square. When we passed a group of four huge gorilla men standing together, I noticed they wore wide metal war belts and red skirts. They also wore big swords sheathed in elaborate golden scabbards at their sides. They were all giving Ty and Qoorie dirty looks, which pissed me off. Just because I was evil didn’t mean I hated everybody equally. I definitely hated these gorillas far more than I hated Ty and Q.
One of the gorillas muttered, “Tigaren scum.”
Ty grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear, “Ignore him.”
I didn’t. Nobody was gonna talk to my friends that way without me saying something. I said to the gorillas, “Nice dresses, ladies.” I tossed off the comment with plenty of cocky mockery, meeting the eyes of each gorilla in turn.
They all snarled and pulled their swords. Really big swords.
The rest of the crowd screamed and hollered and cleared a wide circle around us.
Layna glared at me. Again.
“What?” I whined.
She hissed in my ear, “Have you examined anybody, or are you just throwing around your dick like it’s the biggest thing in here?”
“Isn’t it?”
“Hmph. Do me a favor.”
I smiled flirtatiously. “Anything for you, babe.”
“You wish. Do me a favor and examine those Gorillan.”
“Sure.” I focused on the first guy.
Gorillan Warrior
Level: 44
Health | Stamina: 2250 | 1880
Mana | Mind: 0 | 200
Size: Large
Armor: 390
===============
Good | Evil: 180 | 220
Law | Chaos: 30 | 380
===============
“So?” I snorted.
“So, you’re level 5. Do you really think you can take a level 44?”
I laughed, “Don’t you know it’s not the size of the tool, it’s how you use it?”
Ty whispered, “You the one bein’ a tool, dawg.”
Layna stepped up to the gorilla. “My apologies for my friend. He’s not right in the head. He’s been cursed by a harpy.”
One of the other gorilla men said, “Who, you?” He was implying Layna was a harpy. The other gorillas laughed heartily.
“Hey,” I grumbled, taking a step forward.
Layna whacked me in the chest with the back of her arm, stopping me short. Didn’t even look at me. Kept staring at the gorillas.
“They’re both harpies,” the third gorilla said, implying I was a woman. And a bitch.
“Fuck y—!”
WHACK!
Layna turned and slapped me across the face. Hard. Even saw my Health drop 2%. I stumbled back a step, surprised and holding my hand to my cheek.
All the gorillas laughed at me.
One shook his head dismissively, “Human women. They’re so frail.” He meant me. They turned away as a group, ignoring us.
“That gorilla just called me a woman!” I hissed.
Layna shoved me and I stumbled into Ty and Qoorie.
“Why didn’t you guys jump in?” I demanded.
“Shut your face, Logan,” Ty growled. “One more word outta you, I’ll cut your tongue out my damn self. Feel me?” He flashed his claws under my nose.
I scowled in reply. “What’s up your ass, Ty?”
“You losing it, Logan. You check your alignment stats lately? Your curse is accelerating.”
“Your status as a pussy is accelerating. Why didn’t you want to help me fight those gorillas? Huh? Because you’re a pussy?”
Ty frowned and bared his tiger fangs. That was a lot of fangs.
I swallowed hard. “What? Tigers are pussies. Am I wrong?”
He ignored the insult. “Do me a favor. Check your stats.”
“You check ’em, you pussy.”
Ty growled.
“I’ll check,” Layna said, locking her eyes on mine.
I chuckled, “Finally ready for that kiss, babe?”
She ignored me and said, “It’s much worse than before. The curse is definitely accelerating.”
“No it’s not,” I grumbled, not bothering to check.
“Check for yourself,” she said. “It explains your erratic behavior.
“No.”
“Check, Logan,” she hissed, completely pissed.
“Fine.”
===============
Good | Evil: 22 | 70 (Cursed)
Law | Chaos: 5 | 128 (Cursed)
===============
“Huh,” I said rhetorically, amused.
“What?” Qoorie asked.
“She’s right. My evil rating is climbing steadily, but my Chaos rating is on rockets. I might hit 150 before the day is over,” I smiled at her, proud of myself. “I bet you guys wish you were me, right?”
Qoorie, Ty, and Layna all glared at me.
“You guys are a total buzz kill, you know that?”
Six rope bridges and seven bamboo ladders later
, we stood outside a dark hut. Layna, who’d led us straight here, knocked on the door several times before anyone answered.
A swinging lamp shone through the slits in the bamboo door as someone approached it, casting crazy rays of light from inside.
“What now?” The woman inside demanded with a creaky groan. “Can’t I get any beauty sleep?” The woman who opened the door looked at least 70.
I said, “The beauty sleep isn’t work—”
Ty grabbed the back of my neck and squeezed hard.
“Ow, man! Let go!”
Didn’t anybody think I was funny? Geesh. Tough crowd.
“My apologies, Madam Hexe,” Layna said. “We are in desperate need of your services.”
The old woman drilled me with a harsh look, pursing her thin lips. Her hair was an explosion of gray curls. Wood and bone jewelry clacked on her thin wrists whenever she moved her arms. Her baggy nightgown was plain black cloth and a bit dirty. She narrowed a suspicious eye at me. “Harpy’s curse, eh?”
“Yes,” Layna said hopefully. “Can you help?”
“Course I can help. Can you pay?”
Qoorie held up the bag of coins. “We have over 200 hundred gold and almost 400 hundred in silver.”
“That all?” Madam Hexe smirked.
“I’m afraid so,” Layna sighed.
“Come back tomorrow. When I’m not sleeping.” She slammed the bamboo door shut in our faces.
“Please, Madam Hexe!” Layna rapped frantically on the bamboo. “We can’t wait that long!”
“Screw her,” I grumbled. “Nothing but an old—”
The door whipped open and the woman glared at me, “An old what?” Her eyes flamed a dark red-purple, the irises pure burgundy light.
Even I knew enough to keep my mouth shut this time.
“Please, Madam Hexe,” Layna pleaded softly. “Please…”
Hexe scowled, “What about your sword? And the cursed one’s bracers?” She said the word “cursed” with two syllables, like “curs-ed.”
I thought it was funny so I snickered.
She glared at me, her eyes glowing red-purple again before she ignored me.
