by Baron Sord
“Hit me with it.”
“How does this whole alignment thing work? It’s nothing like D&D. I can’t make sense of how someone can have a number rating for good and evil at the same time. Shouldn’t it be one or the other? You’re either good or your evil?”
“This how it works,” Ty said, “RO be like real life. They’s good, bad, and everything in between. Horrible people can do nice things from time to time, ya know. Even if they motivation is for personal gain, they might turn a good deed in the process a helping themselves, but it still count. Same thing for Law and Chaos. Some people follow the letter a the Law Monday through Friday, but come the weekend? Party tiiiiime!” He chuckled. “They throw all them rules out a damn window. Know what I mean?”
“Yeah. Kinda reminds me of me,” I chuckled.
“Ya feel me,” he laughed. “Anyhow, folks like that gonna have a whole lotta Chaos along with they Law. Maybe they got a lotta Good in them, and maybe a little Evil too, you know. Nobody is all one or the other.”
“Got it. But why keep track of all that? What’s the point of having alignment points?”
“Point is, do a whole lotta good in RO, the folks upstairs shine kindly on you. Do evil, and Ole Scratch might throw a helping hoof in your direction when you need it.”
“Old Scratch? What, like the Devil?”
“Not Satan per se. The Gods a the game. They got different names. The good ones they call Mystic. The bad? They’s Profane. Either case, Mana plus your Good or Evil stat determines how much Mystic or Profane power you got. Get it?”
“Makes sense. Thanks for the info, Ty.”
“Any time, dawg. Any time.”
All this talk about the game world was interesting, but I wasn’t here to pledge allegiance to fake gods so I could cast a bunch of spells and level up. I said to the group, “I don’t know what everyone is up to today, but I need to find a Divination Guild.”
Qoorie said, “I thought Ty and I might stroll around cliffside. See the sights.”
I smiled, “Sounds like a plan.”
“Keep your eyes out for Gorillans,” Layna warned.
“We be fine,” Ty said.
I hoped he was right. Since we’d left the inn, we’d seen 3 or 4 wandering the bamboo walkways already. All of them gave Ty and Q dirty looks. “Should we meet back at the market later, down by the elevators?”
“How about lunch time?” Qoorie suggested.
“Deal. See you guys then.”
Before we parted, we divided up the gold from yesterday. They took half, me and Layna took the other half.
I said, “How do we find a Divination Guild?”
Layna smirked, “Ask?”
I chuckled, “Damn, you’re genius, woman.”
She rolled her eyes and laughed.
We walked past a bunch of closed up shops. It was still early. Three hulking figures turned a corner and strutted toward us.
I muttered, “Should we ask them?”
Layna frowned. “No.”
“Why not?”
“They’re Orken.”
I looked at them again. “Look more like Porken to me.” It was true. Although they were big burly humanoids with mottled gray skin, their gray noses all had a smashed, flat appearance. Calling them pigs was a stretch, but it got the point across.
Layna snickered under her breath.
“What so funny?” the lead Orken asked. His voice was deep and gravelly. More of a bellow. And his breath stank.
I almost told him he was what was so funny, but my evil curse was removed and I knew better. So I flashed a polite smile.
The three brutes stopped and spread out, positioning themselves for a fight.
“Nice gloves, boy,” the Orken on the right said.
I was still wearing my loincloth, sandals, and the gloves. I smiled in his face. Yeah, I looked stupid. “You like these?”
The Orken snorted. Oink, oink.
I held up one gloved fist. “You wanna taste ’em?”
All three Orkens bellowed deep laughter. The lead one said, “You’re level 5, worm.”
“And?”
“We oughta smash you.” He loomed over me and exhaled in my face. His breath was practically visible, a stinking green cloud with flies buzzing in it.
“Somebody forgot to brush this morning,” I coughed and grimaced, waving my hand in my face.
“I’ll brush you,” he grunted and threw a big palm at my shoulder and shoved me back.
I stumbled at least 10 feet before I caught myself. Guy was incredibly strong.
Layna hurried to my side and whispered in my ear, “I told you they were Orken. They like to fight.”
“We fight women, too.” The leader sneered at her. “After we fight them, we fuh—”
I cut him off, “We get the idea.” I took a moment to examine him.
Orken Soldier
Level: 8
Health | Stamina: 480 | 400
Mana | Mind: 0 | 30
Size: Large
Armor: 70
===============
Good | Evil: 25 | 60
Law | Chaos: 15 | 68
===============
That was all the info I could get. The guy was obviously a beast. But his Mind was really low. I could work with that. A line from a movie flashed through my head, these aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Where had I heard that? One of Jason’s movies, probably. Transformers? X-Men? I wasn’t sure. Whenever he found a movie he liked, he watched it over and over and recited the lines from memory. I’m sure I’d absorbed some of that junk by osmosis.
I said, “You guys are here for the banana convention, right?”
“No. Are you?” The Orken frowned and bared his huge yellow teeth.
Wow, such wit. He’d meant it as an insult, but it was too stupid to take seriously. I said, “Yeah. I do a lot of business with the Gorillans. Brisk trade in bananas these days. Now’s a great time to get on board if you haven’t invested already.” I almost laughed, picturing this guy and his Porken pals standing around like a bunch of dummies at a convention, all of them wearing nothing but pink banana-hammock bathing suits and wondering why the Gorillans were all giving them strange looks. So stupid.
The lead Orken frowned. You could almost hear the hamster in his head furiously flicking the dictionary pages back and forth, trying to make sense of what I’d said. Poor hamster was sweating like crazy. The Orken said, “Invested?” Durp.
“Yeah. Great opportunities. If you know the right people to talk to, you can make a ton of cash.”
“Cash?”
“I mean gold.”
“You’re a liar,” the second Orken said. This guy had a snaggle fang jutting over his lower lip.
“Who, me?” I said it innocently, but I looked him in the eyes and concentrated. Then I—I don’t know how to describe it—then I pushed with my will, like I was beaming energy out of my eyes. These aren’t the droids…
“You’re not a liar,” Snaggle Fang said with mild disbelief, but he was believing it.
“I’m not,” I smiled and pushed a bit more. “But I do have a great investment opportunity for you three. If you’re interested.” I looked at each one again in turn, smiling and pushing.
“What kind of open, uh, open-tunity?” Snaggle Fang mumbled dumbly.
“I’m glad you asked, my friend.”
You have unlocked a Mental Power! Suggestion. Level 1. If it sounds too good to be true, it’s definitely true. Increase your Willpower and/or Charm to improve your chance of success.
+1 to Creativity!
+1 to Charm!
+2 Chaos points for lying so passionately!
Twenty minutes later, the three Orken were pouring gold coins into my leather pouch in return for the promise of the new banana plantation I’d just sold them. Grinning to myself, I thought, Worked as good as any Charm Person spell I’d ever cast!
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Layna muttered. She knew I was up t
o no good. Well, semi-good. But it definitely wasn’t evil. These guys were dicks.
“It’s a very good idea,” the Orken leader said enthusiastically. What a dope.
You earned 250 XP for swindling the Orken!
I repressed a laugh and smiled at Layna. “See? Everybody’s happy, am I right?”
“Very happy,” Snaggle Fang yucked. Like I said, durp.
Layna shook her head, “We should go.” She didn’t say but obviously wanted to add, Before you cause more trouble.
“Bye guys!” I waved at the Orken, who were smiling like kids standing around a birthday cake, waiting for the parents to cut slices and serve.
+2 Evil Points for taking advantage of those less intelligent than you.
Okay, so I was off in my assessment of what counted as Evil in this game. Oh well. It wasn’t D&D.
The lead Orken said, “Where’s our banana plant-station, friend?”
“Uhh, ask that Gorillan over there! He has a map.”
A huge Gorillan was walking by at the far end of all the boarded up market stalls, minding his own business and eating a banana.
+2 Chaos points for stirring up trouble!
The Orken glanced at the Gorillan, then back at me. “Okay! We go ask him! Thank you, friend!”
“Any time, dynamite!”
“Dyna-what?” the Orken asked. Durp, durp, durp.
To Layna, I quickly muttered, “Let’s go. Before they talk to that Gorillan.”
She nodded.
“Later, guys!” I waved at them before hustling Layna back the way we’d come.
—: o o o :—
“How much?” I asked, shocked.
“750 gold to use the scrying pool,” the clerk at the Divination Guild said flatly.
“Just to contact someone?”
He nodded. He was an older guy, probably 60 or 65, had white eyebrows, and wore a weird white felt hat on his head. Like a bowler without the brim. He also wore several layers of white linen robes and had a bunch of gold rings on his fingers.
I snorted, “750 is highway robbery. I can call China on my phone for free.”
“You’re welcome to try using your phone,” he said dryly. “Outside.”
I automatically reached for my back pocket, where I always carried my smart phone, and grabbed butt cheek. I needed a longer loincloth. I turned to Layna. “How much gold do we have?”
“Thanks to our new friends,” she winked at me, “We might have enough.” We hadn’t counted the money from the Orken. Just dumped it in our bag with the rest. “If we’re short, you can sell another banana plantation,” she smirked.
That gave me an idea. I turned to the clerk,“Hey, how about we lower the price? One time discount. For an old friend,” I lied. Then I did that pushing thing.
He curled the corner of his mouth. “Don’t even try it.”
“Try what?” I said innocently.
He shook his head.
Curious, I examined him.
Seer
Level: 39
Health | Stamina: 250 | 210
Mana | Mind: 5020 | 7770
===============
Oops. Pretty sure I had nothing on this guy with my measly 350 points in Mind.
He sighed impatiently, “It’s 750 to use the scrying pool.”
“Fine. Fine! Layna, pay the man.”
She frowned and dropped the money sack on the glassy smooth marble counter top. “You pay him. I’m not your servant.”
“Sorry.” I upturned the sack and poured coins on the marble.
“Try not to scratch the marble,” the clerk snipped.
“Why? Does that cost extra?”
He arched an eyebrow that said, Try me.
“Sorry.” I scooped the coins into a neat pile and pushed them toward him.
The clerk busied himself sliding coins into even lines, counting and taking his sweet time.
I looked around the room impatiently.
Every place else in Cliffside was wicker and bamboo and palm frond walls, but the decor at the Divination guild was all polished white marble. White counter, white columns, white doorways, white floor, white, white, white. The structure itself was carved into the rock face of the canyon wall, otherwise it would’ve weighed too much for the bamboo stilts that supported all the huts and walkways. I had to admit, this place was really high-end. No wonder they charged so much.
The clerk lifted his eyes and said, “You’re short.”
“How much?”
“262.”
“Shit. This is all we’ve got,” I groaned. “Work with me here.”
“Your sword is nice,” he offered, eying it.
“Huh?” Although I had my spear in hand out of habit, I’d been wearing Layna’s sword belt around my waist since breakfast (she’d insisted), even though we hadn’t done any training. She said I should get used to wearing it. I glanced at the hilt on my hip. “It’s nicer than 260 fricking gold.”
“262,” he corrected. “How about you keep all your gold and I keep your sword?”
I had no idea how much it was worth. I was reluctant to take the offer.
“No,” Layna said. “Give him something else. It’s worth more than that.”
I didn’t have anything else. Frustrated, I raised my spear. “How about this?”
“Ha.”
Exasperated, I said to Layna, “Do you have anything we can trade? Or any cash?” Now that I noticed, she didn’t have anything except her clothes. Not even her bow or her quiver of arrows. Where the heck had she put everything? Had she left it all back at the inn by mistake? I’d worry about it later.
She said, “Maybe we should find Ty and Qoorie. They can lend us the rest. Unless they’ve spent it already.”
I rolled my eyes, “We don’t even know where they are.”
“Didn’t we say we’d meet them at lunch?” Layna offered.
The clerk said, “We close at lunch.”
I said, “You close for lunch or at lunch.”
“At lunch.”
“You guys are worse than bankers.”
He shrugged. “Maybe you can sell another banana planation to a willing customer.” He winked at me. This guy was sharp.
I scowled back. Gave Layna a pleading look.
She heaved a sigh. “I was saving this for a rainy day.”
I perked up. “It’s definitely raining today.”
“Not a cloud in the sky,” the banker smirked.
I smirked back. “The storm cloud is right here.” I pointed over my head.
He smiled, “I see that it is.”
I shook my head.
Meanwhile, Layna was busy digging in her too-tight leather pants. Somehow, she’d hidden the hilt of a sword in her pocket. I had no idea how she’d fit it there without my noticing.
“What are you doing, Layna?”
“Hold on a sec.” She pulled the sword out. It got longer and longer until it was longer than her entire leg, but she was still pulling out more sword. “I think it’s stuck.”
“I’ll say,” I chuckled. “Is that a sword in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”
She glared at me and puffed a lock of her long blonde hair out of her eyes. “It’s really stuck.” She gave it a hard tug. “There we go!”
“What the fuck?!” I laughed.
She held a six foot two-handed sword in her hands.
“How the hell did you fit that in your pants?”
“Magic.” She twinkled her nose, smiling at me.
Damn, she was gorgeous. I’d had girlfriends. I’d been on dates with smokin’ hot babes once or twice. But never anybody as beautiful as Layna. The bombshells who came into Opal didn’t even come close. Layna was in another league.
“How about this?” Layna said to the clerk, offering the sword to him with both hands.
He looked it over, not touching it. “Decent blade. Workmanlike enchantments.”
“What is it?” I whispered in Layna’s ear.
<
br /> “A magic sword,” she said dryly.
“I gathered that. What kind?”
The clerk said, “For a holy sword, it’s not bad. But any paladin over 8th level would turn his nose up at it. I don’t know that I can make any money on it.”
“It’s worth at least 350,” Layna said.
“Yes, but I have to sell it for 500 to make a reasonable profit. If I sell it for 350, you’ll still owe me at least 85.”
“Come on, man,” I begged.
“Sorry.” He smiled thinly, “I have overhead.”
Layna reached into her pocket again and pulled out a ring that could actually fit in her pocket. “How about if we add this?”
He tilted his head from one side to the other. “Ehhh.”
I said, “Is that a real diamond?”
Layna shrugged, “Just a small one.”
I groaned loudly, feeling even worse the she was being so generous.
She turned to the clerk and smiled sincerely. “Please? This is all we have.”
“Fine, fine. All your money, the holy sword, and the ring.”
I muttered to Layna, “I hope that’s not a magic ring.”
“It isn’t,” the clerk said.
“I just liked it,” Layna smiled at me. “So I kept it all these years.”
“Years?” I was a dick. She was probably saving it for an engagement ring. Chicks.
“But I never did wear it.”
“Do we have a deal?” the clerk pressed.
I took a deep breath, blew it out, and looked at Layna. “You don’t have to do this. It’s a lot of money, and most of it’s yours.”
“You said this is important.”
“It is.” Getting Emily home safe was the most important thing in my life.
Layna turned to the clerk, “We’ll do it.”
“Thanks, Layna. I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”
She smiled at me “Think of it as a favor for a friend.”
“It’s a pretty big favor.”
