Her breath caught in her throat and she mouthed the words, “Don’t stop.”
She felt like a tight fist around him, clamping and releasing. A few moments later her muscles began to relax, her breathing steadied and she went lax. Falling on top of her he tucked her head into the crook of his neck and shoulder.
“Shh, it’s okay, honey. I’ve got you.”
Avery clung to him, her legs and arms circling him in a tight embrace. Beneath him she trembled. Not wanting to crush her, he rolled to the side, making sure contact was never broken. Minutes passed as they lay in each other’s arms. Ridge committed her supple softness to memory for those nights when the nightmares were too much to bear and he needed comfort.
Avery finally loosened her hold, tipped her head back and looked up at him. “That’s never happened before,” she said, her wide eyes sparkling.
“Did I hurt you?” If he did he’d leave right now, find the nearest bridge and hurl himself over the side.
“God, no. Just the opposite.”
Her petite hand ran up and down his chest over his hammering heart. She repositioned herself and gazed up into his face. The look in her eyes terrified him. She looked like she wanted to thank him. God, he hoped she didn’t do that. How the hell would he look at himself in the mirror again if she actually thanked him for something she’d regret in the morning?
“Does it hurt much?” she asked instead.
Ridge blinked a few times, not sure what she was asking.
Her hand came up and cupped his wounded cheek. “Does it hurt?”
He shrugged. He wasn’t about to complain about a little pain when Cale was being prepared for his funeral. Hell, if anything he deserved more pain.
“No,” Avery whispered.
He shot her a quizzical look.
“Stop blaming yourself, Ridge.” She curled back up against him. “Stay.”
Just like that his heart began to race again. She wanted him to stay? He couldn’t. Out of the question, but he would hold her until she fell asleep.
Avery sighed, nuzzled her cheek against his chest and in a matter of minutes drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Four
Ridge indulged himself holding her for as long as he could. If this had been any other time or under different circumstance he would have stayed all night. But it was what it was. Even if he could bring himself to stay, what would she think when he woke up screaming and cursing in the throes of a panic attack? He couldn’t live with her seeing him like that.
Carefully pulling away from her, he slipped from the bed, limped to the bathroom, disposed of his condom and ran a washcloth beneath warm water. Returning to the bed, he carefully cleaned her sticky thighs before gently folding the bedspread around her. She looked so peaceful and rested it made him wonder how much sleep she’d gotten over the last couple of weeks.
Probably not much. They would have called her within twenty-four hours of Cale’s arrival at the hospital. After that all Avery could’ve done was sit and wait to hear from the doctors. Surely they must have encouraged her to be ready with a decision about the life support?
Ridge shook his head, gathered his clothes and dressed. He couldn’t imagine being all alone and having to make such a decision about your only living relative. Buttoning his shirt he glanced at her cocooned within the thin bedspread. He didn’t want to leave but what choice did he have?
Her anger at him would come eventually and he really couldn’t deal with that, not after tonight. Sure, when he’d got here he’d hoped she’d scream and call him names but now, well, he just couldn’t deal with it. Running his hand through his hair he headed for the door and then stopped.
This was harder than it was supposed to be. Who the hell walked away from a woman like Avery Easton, especially after what they’d shared? Walking back over to the bed, he leaned down and kissed her lips gently so he wouldn’t wake her.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered and then forced himself to walk through the door. There wouldn’t be any sleeping for him tonight. No point in hanging around this town any longer than he had to.
Ridge returned to his hotel, packed his bag, checked out and caught the next flight to South Carolina.
* * * * *
Avery came awake slowly the next morning, stretched and groaned from the soreness ravaging her body. Immediately she reached for Ridge only to find herself alone and wrapped in the bedspread. It took a moment but last night came back full force.
What had she done? She knew Ridge wasn’t interested in her, but she’d pushed the issue, seduced him and practically begged him to have sex with her. All she’d wanted was for the emptiness to go away for a while. Ridge Gates was the closest person to family she had left and now, well, she’d probably turned him away from her for good.
Regret would never play a part in her memories over what they’d shared last night. Not for her. Lying there in the hotel room she experienced more loneliness than she had standing and watching her brother’s body being returned to the states. Is this what she had to look forward to for the rest of her life, no one to turn to for support or love?
Cale had tried so hard to get her and Ridge together over the years. He’d truly believed they belonged together. The last conversation they’d had right before the bombing, she’d insisted Cale not push Ridge when they came home for leave.
Avery pressed her face into the pillow and tugged the comforter tighter around her body. “Oh, Cale. What am I supposed to do without you?”
She’d tried not to depend on her twin for much, wanting to be independent and self-supporting, but there had been times when just the sound of his voice or a simple hug had given her the courage and strength to overcome any obstacle. Even if it were a mental hug, something she’d never experience again. Right now she floated as though her lifeline had been cut and she drifted aimlessly, nothing to hold her down, no one to care.
The only person left for her—besides her best friend Cindy—couldn’t even stomach staying with her through the night. The one man she’d given her heart to so long ago had walked out and left her. Did Ridge have any idea how much she loved him? Would he care? He’d said some flattering words last night, but in her experience with men, words came easy in the throes of lust.
What was Ridge thinking today? Shaking her head she decided she didn’t want to know. There were other things to take care of now. Her plane left in three hours. Arrangements to be made. Once the funeral was over, she could wallow in self-pity but now she needed to be there one last time for her brother.
Emotionally raw, Avery headed toward the bathroom for a nice hot shower. She took two steps and the room spun and her lungs seized. Collapsing to her knees she clenched her chest and gasped for air.
“Ridge,” she growled between her teeth. Closing her eyes, she focused, reached out to the connection they shared and willed him to calm.
A battle waged between her will and his stubbornness but eventually she won. Filling him with her warmth, she managed to relax his mind and body until he breathed normally. This had been a particularly severe attack. Usually she sensed them coming on and could help ward off the severity. Today he’d blindsided her.
Avery maintained the connection. Where was he? What was he doing? What had caused this panic attack? The connection slammed closed like a heavy metal door making Avery jump in surprise. The fact that Ridge could disconnect from her so easily was shocking, but the fragments of thought she caught had her doubling over as if she’d taken a fist to the stomach.
Regret. Soul-deep regret over last night. It had actually thrown him into the panic attack. Had what they shared last night been so distasteful it made him physically ill?
Nauseous from the blatant rejection of the man who would forever hold her heart, Avery fought to keep from gagging as tears spilled hot and heavy down her cheeks. What had she been thinking seducing a man who’d made it clear he wanted nothing to do with her?
A painful sob ripped free from her throat. Avery slammed her hand over her
mouth to stifle the sound. No, she wouldn’t do this. She would not sit here naked on the floor of a hotel room and cry over a man who didn’t want her. Rocking back and forth she struggled to convince herself she had a full life, a life she worked hard for, a life that could give her everything she ever wanted or needed. The absence of a man would not change any of that.
Avery picked herself up off the floor, staggered to the bathroom and spent the next twenty minutes fighting back tears while scorching her flesh, hoping the physical pain would drown the internal ache. She could learn to live with the hole in her heart and soul, she assured herself. Others suffered worse and if they could persevere, so could she.
It only took her about thirty minutes to do her hair, put on enough makeup to appear as if nothing ate away at her insides and pack her small overnight bag. She called a cab and then slipped into a pair of white silk slacks and a peach silk camisole. Usually the silk brushing against her skin made her smile and feel sexy. Today, numbness settled over her.
By the time she checked out of the hotel her cab had pulled up and next thing she knew she found herself waiting to board the plane home. Funny, she couldn’t recall the cab ride, checking in or even walking through the airport. Everything around her seemed encased in a thick haze, as if it were all a dream. No, a nightmare, one she couldn’t wake up from.
Tears stung her eyes. Refusing to cry in a public place, she swallowed them, held her chin high and did her best to look as normal as possible.
“Excuse me,” a deep voice spoke from her side.
Avery turned and found a very handsome gentleman looking at her with heavy concern. “Yes.”
“Forgive me for seeming forward, but are you all right?”
Caught off guard by the question, Avery blinked a few times and admired the man’s striking features. Black-as-coal hair cropped close to his head, a straight, strong nose and a jawline so sharp it could cut granite. His eyes were so dark they bordered on black and his mouth, Cindy would say his mouth was made for pleasure.
“I’m fine.” He wore a very expensive suit, she noticed—a man of money. Too bad she wasn’t impressed by money. “Why do you ask?”
A small smile tugged at the corners of his perfectly shaped lips. “You seem a bit lost,” he told her with a shrug. “Are you?”
Now wasn’t that a good question? “I may very well be but not in the sense you mean.”
Mr. Handsome cocked a well-trimmed eyebrow. “Anything a stranger can help you with?”
“I’m afraid not.” If it were only that simple. “Thank you for asking, though. It’s very kind of you.”
The man nodded once and then turned and strolled away. So much for blending in. Did she really look so out of sorts that a stranger felt compelled to assist her? Wow, she really needed to work on her acting skills, especially if she wanted to get through the next week without being mothered to death by Cindy.
A flight attendant called all the first class flyers to board the plane and Avery noticed the mystery man heading toward the door. It didn’t surprise her he’d be in first class. A man wearing a suit worth more than her car wouldn’t be caught dead in coach. Avery made a nice living for herself but she didn’t have that need to spend money on frivolous things, unless one counted nice clothes as frivolous.
Of course, being part-owner in a very successful boutique catering to wealthy women allowed her access to nice clothes. Other than that, life was simple for her. A ten-year-old car, a modest house and used furniture. Yep, simple was the way to go.
The remaining passengers were called to board. Avery allowed herself to be pushed along by the crowd and found her seat on the aisle toward the front of the plane. It wouldn’t be a long flight and if she were lucky, she could close her eyes and sleep most of the way.
Fifteen minutes later a flight attendant leaned down and handed her a cocktail. “Compliments of the gentleman in first class.”
Avery looked up and found Mr. Handsome leaning in the passageway that separated first class from coach.
“He’s requested you join him,” the stewardess continued. “A cancellation has left the seat next to him empty.”
“Oh.” Okay, what should she do? She didn’t want to pay for an upgrade and really, she didn’t know this man. Her background told her to be wary but the lonely, aching woman urged her to take a chance. If Ridge didn’t want her, maybe someone else would.
“There won’t be any charge,” the stewardess assured her.
Avery chewed her bottom lip for a moment. What would it hurt? “I’d love to join him.”
The stewardess retrieved her carry-on bag and Mr. Handsome showed her to her seat. As he sat next to her she noticed the strong bite of his cologne. Not a fragrance she cared for. Ignoring it, she smiled.
“Thank you for the drink and the seat, Mr…?”
“Please, my name is Mike. Think nothing of it. I do have my motives, though.”
Avery sipped the fine martini and smoothed her hand across the silk covering her thigh. “Motive?”
“Call me nosy but I needed to know what put such sad shadows in the eyes of a beautiful woman.”
Oh, he was a smooth talker. “Is it that obvious?” She really needed to work on hiding her emotions better.
“Maybe not to most, but part of my job is seeing past the façade people put in place and finding the real person beneath. A habit I can’t seem to get away from.”
“So, you approach every woman who appears sad?” Avery could see him notching his bed post right now. How many women fell for this?
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Only women who spark an interest and you have sparked a very big interest.”
His smile made her flinch inwardly. Most women would find it attractive—she found it damn near scary, like a predator moving in for the kill.
“I’m afraid there’s nothing interesting about me, Mike. Far from interesting, especially to a man like you.” There, that should give him the hint that she wasn’t interested in letting this brief meeting go any further.
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that? Tell me a little about yourself.”
Avery knew better than to reveal too much. She didn’t know this man. For all she did know, he could be a serial killer, a con man or just a pervert that found masquerading as a rich man got him whatever he wanted.
“Not much to tell. I’m self-employed and spend all my time working.” Not entirely a lie, just not all the facts.
“You do make time to travel, though, or is this trip for business?”
Something about the way he watched her made her uneasy. Too much interest—that was it. No one ever showed this much interest in her.
“No, this trip wasn’t for business or pleasure.”
Mike cocked his head to the side and studied her briefly. “Is there any other reason to travel?”
Avery took a long sip of her martini. What could it hurt telling him? “My brother’s body was flown in last night from Afghanistan. I needed to be there.” Her throat closed around the last words. Quickly she sipped the martini again hoping it would ease the tightness.
“I am very sorry,” Mike said, sounding as if he truly meant it. “No, no pleasure in a trip like this. May I ask why you’re alone? Isn’t there anyone who could have accompanied you on such a sad occasion?”
The words stung, reminding her how barren her life had become. Not even Ridge could stand by her side as she’d watched Cale’s body being removed from the plane. “No. He was my only family.”
“No friends to be your support network?”
Avery glanced at him. His brow wrinkled and his eyes were filled with compassion. “Work doesn’t allow me much time for friends. My best friend and I own a business together and she needed to remain behind to keep the doors open. I’m used to handling things on my own.”
“A strong woman. I like strong women. Still, if we had known each other a few days ago I would have been there for you.”
Unable to stop
herself, Avery smiled. “That’s sweet, Mike. I managed fine.” Maybe it was because she didn’t know him, or maybe it was just her suspicious nature, but Avery found herself on guard. No man had ever talked this way to her.
The rest of the flight passed quickly. Mike briefly explained his job as a hired man sent in to large businesses where theft and unlawful acts were taking place. It was his job to weed out the crook, hence his ability to read people. Apparently the work paid well and enabled him to enjoy the finer things in life. Expensive cars, a boat, dining at hard-to-get-into restaurants—not that he bragged, which impressed her. Mike simply enjoyed life.
“You should find more joy in life,” he told her, pushing a stray hair out of her face. “You work hard. A little simple pleasure is deserved.”
Yeah, maybe he was right. Maybe it was time for Avery to worry more about Avery. She didn’t need to work seven days a week; she just didn’t have anything else to do, or anyone to do it with. Waiting around for a man who wanted nothing to do with her had turned her into a hermit. What was that old saying? When one door closes another one opens. Maybe it was time to slam the door on her old life and barrel through another.
The plane landed and within minutes they were disembarking. Mike walked with her for a short distance and then stopped and took her hand.
“Thank you for the pleasant conversation and company.”
Avery smiled. “Thank you for inviting me to sit with you. I enjoyed our chat.”
Cindy shouted, waved and began to walk toward them.
“It was my pleasure, Avery.” He slipped a card in her hand and then nodded before turning and leaving.
“Who was that?” Cindy asked, stepping up next to her.
Avery stared down at the business card in her hand complete with Mike’s phone number and email address. “Just someone I sat with on the plane.” A curious nagging warning worked its way through her brain. Something wasn’t right, but what?
“How come I never get put with such handsome strangers? I always get the chatty old woman that drones on about her dozen or so grandchildren.”
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