Oh, but it felt wonderful! And if there had been anything left sleeping inside her before, it all awakened with that touch of his hand. Every nerve ending, every inch of her body was suddenly alive with wanting him.
She brought her mouth to his once again, in a kiss that was lush with need as she writhed beneath his wondrous hand. A need greater than anything she’d ever experienced before. A need to cast aside all inhibitions, all reason, all caution….
That wasn’t like her and a part of her froze internally at just the thought.
Froze and then retreated to a safer place.
A place where she wasn’t tempted to do anything she might regret.
And she heard herself say, “Maybe we should slow down.”
Cutty didn’t just slow down. He stopped. He stopped nuzzling the soft underside of her jaw with his nose. He stopped kneading her breast and merely let his hand curve along her side. He stopped everything to look into her eyes.
“Okay,” he said but with confusion in his tone.
“This has all happened fast and—” And she was stammering and flustered and not completely committed to really having this end when her body was still screaming for it to go on, even if her mind had taken a different direction.
“It’s all right,” Cutty assured her in a voice that was husky and sexy and just made her want to start all over again. “What are we going to do anyway?” he added, “Crawl into the back seat like two teenagers?”
Kira was tempted to shout Okay, let’s do that!
But she didn’t. In fact, she didn’t even stay where she was. Without saying anything at all, she moved away from Cutty, back to the passenger side of the car.
She wasn’t sure what had happened to his tie but he began to rebutton his shirt front and seeing those big hands at work—those big hands she’d had on her bare skin, on her bare breast, only moments before—was enough to make her mouth go dry.
“You kind of go to my head,” she said then, softly, closing her eyes to keep from watching him.
Cutty laughed sardonically. “Like too much to drink?”
“Like way too much to drink. It’s almost as if I’m someone else. Someone I’m not sure I even know. And I forget everything and just get swept up and—”
“I know. Me, too.”
There was such understanding, such compassion in his voice that Kira relaxed a little and opened her eyes again to look at him.
His shirt was buttoned once more and tucked into his waistband, and one wrist was slung over the steering wheel so he could angle her way.
“But maybe that’s not a bad thing,” he suggested then. “I know it feels good to me.”
“Maybe too good.”
He chuckled. “There’s no such thing.”
Kira didn’t know whether she agreed with that or not. Yes, he made her feel good. Better than she’d ever felt before. But the thought of letting go as much as she’d wanted to let go a few moments earlier, had terrified her, too.
Cutty didn’t seem to notice that she hadn’t agreed or disagreed with him. He just started the car then and turned it around, heading away from the covered bridge back to the main road.
Neither of them said anything at all through the entire drive home but the silence that went with them wasn’t a tense silence. It was a thoughtful silence. A silence that let what they’d just shared linger in the air.
Only when Cutty had pulled the car into the garage and turned off the engine once more did he let those green eyes settle on her again.
“You still haven’t told me if you’ll go to the party with me tomorrow night,” he said, sounding so normal it brought her the rest of the way back to herself.
Kira considered what he was asking her, knowing it would be wiser for her to stay home with the twins while he celebrated his birthday without her.
But then he’d be celebrating his birthday without her. And she’d just about exhausted her willpower for one night.
“I’d like to go to your party,” she finally admitted.
Cutty smiled a megawatt smile. “Right answer,” he said as if she’d just given him the only gift he wanted.
They got out of the car and went inside to hear the baby-sitter’s report that Mel and Mandy had gone to bed without incident and not made a sound since. Then Cutty escorted the sitter outside, insisting that he watch her walk home.
While he did, Kira didn’t wait for him. She slipped out the back door and went to the garage apartment because she was afraid of what might be rekindled if she didn’t, if they actually said good-night.
But as she undressed and climbed into bed she couldn’t help thinking about what had happened tonight.
And about what hadn’t happened.
And even though she recalled feeling safer not releasing that part of her that had wanted to be uninhibited, that had wanted to throw reason and caution to the wind, that had wanted to make love with Cutty, she couldn’t help wishing that just this once she hadn’t done what kept her out of trouble.
That just this once she’d been brave enough to do what she wanted to do instead….
Chapter Seven
“Yoo-hoo!”
Kira jumped, startled by the sound of a voice coming through the front screen. She was down on her hands and knees in the hallway that ran alongside the stairs—easily visible through the open door so the visitor hadn’t knocked or rung the doorbell, she’d just yoo-hooed to announce herself.
“Betty,” Kira greeted in return as she got to her feet and went to the screen, pushing it open to let the older woman in. “I didn’t know you were coming over,” she added, trying to sound happier than she felt by the surprise appearance of the nanny and housekeeper she was filling in for.
Not that she didn’t like Betty, it was just that Kira still didn’t feel that the house was up to par and at that moment there was even more clutter than usual due to the latest catastrophe.
“I couldn’t let Cutty’s birthday pass without baking him Marla’s special cake,” the older woman said once she was inside, holding up the cake container she was carrying and glancing into the living room in search of him.
When she didn’t see him, she said in a more confidential tone, “I know this is the second birthday he’s had without her and it won’t be as hard as the first one was, but still I wanted to bring him a little of her anyway.”
It struck Kira that every time it seemed as if the shadow of Marla might be receding just a tad, something—or someone—cropped up to expand it again.
“Cutty is out in the backyard on the lounger keeping an eye on the twins while I pick up this glass,” Kira informed the other woman with a nod at the debris just behind her.
What had been a crystal vase on the small hall table was now in pieces all over the hardwood floor.
Mention of it drew Betty’s attention to it and she let out a mournful wail. “Oh, no, that isn’t Marla’s favorite vase, is it?”
“If the vase that sits on this little table was her favorite then I’m afraid that’s what it is.”
“She loved that vase. And look at that gash in the floor—Marla worked so hard refinishing it. She would just be crushed to see that. What on earth happened?”
“Mandy threw a toy right at the vase and I lunged to try to block it and hit it myself,” Kira confessed, feeling more guilty now that she had to answer to Betty than she had with Cutty who had merely said accidents happen and offered to take the girls out of harm’s way while she cleaned up.
“I warned Marla that the vase might not be safe there but she said that was the perfect place for it, so it had to go there. And she was always so careful and so diligent that she proved me wrong and nothing ever did happen to it. Even when Anthony was in a fit, she didn’t let things get out of control enough down here for anything to get broken. She would be heartsick.”
Kira wasn’t sure if she should apologize to Betty in lieu of Marla or not. She only knew that, even though the older woman was just talking and not tryin
g to make her feel inept and clumsy in comparison to Marla, that was still what she accomplished.
“Maybe I can replace it,” Kira offered.
“I’m sure you couldn’t. Marla got it in an antique shop. Like so many of her pretty things. She had an eye for finding the only gem in a pile of rocks. That’s why I’m always so careful around here—you can’t just go out and find replacements.”
Kira hoped Betty wouldn’t realize that there was also one less glass banana in the decorative bowl of fruit Marla had kept on the counter in the kitchen. Kira had broken that the day before and she didn’t want the other woman to think she was some kind of wrecker’s ball going through Marla’s house, destroying Marla’s irreplaceable things.
“Why don’t you go on out back with Cutty and the girls?” Kira suggested then. “I’ll pick this up and bring some dishes so we can all have a piece of your cake.”
“It’s Marla’s cake. I can’t take credit for the recipe.”
“I can’t wait to taste it.”
“You’ll love it. Everybody does. It won first prize at the County Fair three years ago and even got honorable mention in a national contest she entered. That girl could have been a pastry chef.”
“I’m sure,” Kira agreed as Betty stepped over the broken glass with a sad glance at it and headed for the back of the house.
Kira got down on all fours again to finish gathering the largest pieces of the vase. Of Marla’s vase. Of Marla’s favorite vase.
Marla’s house. Marla’s things.
As if she needed Betty to remind her.
Although, there were times when she lost sight of how she measured up to Marla, she realized. Like when she was playing with the twins.
Or alone with Cutty.
Of course some of those times were getting her into trouble, she also pointed out to herself. Those times when she ended up in Cutty’s arms.
Or maybe what was happening was that she was finally doing a little of that cutting loose that Cutty had talked about the night before.
That was an interesting possibility.
Maybe she was doing a little of the cutting loose she’d never done, not even when she’d moved out on her own. Not even with Mark Myers.
It was kind of an intriguing thought.
Cutting loose.
The more she considered it, the more she liked the idea. The more she liked the image that she was even capable of cutting loose.
Kira Wentworth, who had always done what was demanded of her, what was expected of her, who had never strayed from the straight and narrow, cutting loose…
Hmm.
“Cake, Ki-wa!”
That call came from the back-door screen to pull her out of her thoughts.
Kira recognized Mandy’s voice and it made her smile. “I’ll be right there,” she called in return.
With the bigger pieces of glass gathered, she stood and took them to the trash, bringing a broom to the hallway to quickly sweep up what remained.
“Ki-wa? Cake!”
That one was Mel and this time Kira couldn’t help laughing at the girls and their impatience.
“I’m coming,” she said a bit distractedly as her thoughts went on wandering to this new notion of cutting loose.
Maybe even having come to Northbridge on the spur of the moment, staying when she hadn’t had plans to, had both been a form of it for her. Baby steps, admittedly. But still it was certainly something her father wouldn’t have condoned, and yet she’d done it anyway.
And look at what that had gotten her—Mel’s and Mandy’s affections and the beginnings of a relationship with them.
Which seemed to be an example of good occasionally coming from veering off the beaten path.
Another intriguing idea.
And if good could occasionally come from veering off the beaten path, from cutting loose, then maybe cutting loose—just a little—with Cutty wasn’t such a crime, either.
It certainly didn’t feel like a crime….
“Cake! Nee cake now, Ki-wa!”
Mel again.
“Just one minute,” she said as if that meant anything at all to an eighteen-month-old.
She made sure nothing dangerous to the girls remained in the hall, then hurried to put away the broom and dustpan before she gathered plates, utensils and a knife to cut the cake.
And that was when she realized something else.
She realized that even just thinking of herself as capable of cutting loose gave her a new sense of daring.
Or was she just looking for an excuse to lower some of the barriers she kept telling herself she needed to maintain with Cutty?
It didn’t feel nearly as nice to think that.
So she decided on the spot not to.
No, this was just a new dimension of herself. One she liked. One that was probably long overdue. And she wasn’t going to question it. Instead, she was going to accept it. Maybe even embrace it.
“Peez?” Mandy called, trying to lure Kira out with good manners.
But it was so sweet Kira couldn’t resist it.
“Here I come,” she said, leaving that last doubt behind her as she pushed the screen open with her rear end to join the small group in the yard.
“Cake, Ki-wa! Cake!” Mandy chanted as Mel charged Kira gleefully and hugged her leg in a bubbling-over of excitement.
Kira laughed and let herself revel in the pure joy of those babies. “Yes, we’ll have cake,” she promised. “But you have to let me get to the table to cut it.”
That was enough to send both Mel and Mandy toddling for the picnic table where Cutty was now sitting lengthwise on one of the benches to keep his ankle propped up.
Betty took the top off the cake saver, revealing layers of yellow cake sandwiching whipped cream and raspberries, and topped with a chocolate glaze that dripped artistically down the sides.
“Betty has some news,” Cutty said as Kira joined them.
There was something in his tone that Kira couldn’t pinpoint but he didn’t exactly sound happy.
“Everything’s okay with your mother’s back, isn’t it?” Kira asked as she handed over the knife so the other woman could cut the cake.
“Better than okay,” Betty said. “The injection they gave her has given her enough relief to start moving more, and her sister is coming to stay so I can get back to work around here.”
Kira’s heart sank and that new lease on life she’d been feeling in the house moments earlier threatened to go with it.
She didn’t know what to say. She was there to help out while Betty couldn’t, but if Betty’s hiatus was over…
“Cutty said there was no hurry, that you have everything under control,” Betty was saying, “but I just miss these darlings so much it hurts. And if you don’t need to get back to Denver, maybe you and I can get to know each other.”
Through her shock, Kira finally managed to think of a question. “When exactly will you be back?”
“My aunt should get in around noon tomorrow so I can probably be here after lunch.”
“You don’t want to spend some time with your aunt?” Kira asked.
“She’ll probably be here a month or better so I’ll see plenty of her. Besides, those first few hours she’s here, she and my mother will be catching up and they won’t even know I’m gone.”
“Oh. That’s nice then,” Kira said, trying hard to mean it.
When what she was feeling was that the window of opportunity for more of that cutting loose just might be closing….
Ad’s bar and restaurant looked like an Old English pub inside. The lighting was dim, the walls were paneled in dark wood and the bar was a long stretch of carved walnut with a brass foot rail along the bottom and a beveled-glass mirror behind it.
For the occasion of Cutty’s birthday party that night the place that could accommodate a hundred and fifty patrons was well over capacity. All with Cutty at the center of attention where he sat on one chair at a corner table with his broken ank
le propped on another chair.
A four-man band was playing live music on the stage at the opposite corner; there was dancing and a huge buffet, a birthday cake waiting to be cut, and even though Cutty was only drinking ginger ale because he was still taking antibiotics to keep the gash in his leg from getting infected, he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself.
Kira was enjoying herself, too. Although after two hours of so many people wanting to meet Marla’s sister and regale her with more of Marla’s accolades, she needed just a few minutes’ breather.
She told Cutty she was going for a glass of water and made her way through the crowd. Only rather than asking the already overworked bartender, she went through the swinging doors next to the bar into the restaurant’s deserted, brightly lit and much, much quieter kitchen.
Alone in there, she slipped her right foot out of the pointy-toed black mule that went with the dress she’d bought on a quick run to the local boutique while the twins were napping that afternoon. The dress was comfortable—it was a lightweight black-knit ankle-length A-line with a boat neck that looked deceptively prim in front but opened in a wide, low V in back. But the shoes were another story.
Kira arched her foot and wiggled her toes, and when she thought she could stand it again, she put her foot back in that shoe and gave her left one a reprieve, too.
Then she went to the sink and actually did refill her wineglass with water. But once she had she wasn’t eager to rush back to the noise and commotion of the party and so she turned around and leaned her hips against the sink’s edge to drink her water and enjoy a few more minutes of peace and quiet.
It was only a few minutes, though, before one of the swinging doors opened and in came Ad with a bowl that held only the remnants of potato salad.
He was startled to discover her and stopped short when he did.
Then he smiled and said, “Are you hiding in here?”
“No,” Kira denied in a hurry. Then she smiled, too, because she liked Ad and admitted, “Well, maybe a little.”
“It’s wild out there,” he said as if he understood her need for some escape.
Babies in the Bargain Page 14
