Table of Contents
Title Page
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Epilogue
AUTHOR’S NOTE
Also by
Copyright Page
For
Richard,
not only a beloved cousin but one of my oldest friends
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I should like to record my thanks to Mary Carter, Gillian Holmes, Gerald Johnson, Clare Ledingham, Professor Bernard Knight, Monica Myers, Sarah Molloy, Peta Nightingale, James Turner QC, Tom Usher, and Dr Richard Wright.
Prologue
Deb was worried. Mandy’s breathing was slower than ever and her face was covered in sweat; but it was warm sweat, not the clamminess that came from doing the rattle. Mandy had already tried that twice since they’d known each other. Both times she’d gone back on smack as soon as she had the chance.
Deb wiped Mandy’s face on the corner of her sheet and looked towards the door. Four inches of solid steel, locked now until six thirty. Deb hauled herself up to the top bunk to tug the window further open and let some more air into the cell. Her arms ached and her knees cracked as her weight shifted. She was only forty-seven; she shouldn’t be this creaky.
The bunk rocked as she climbed, but Mandy didn’t stir. Usually she was such a light sleeper that Deb had only to turn over in bed, or even breathe deeply, to wake her. For once Deb would have welcomed the usual torrent of gross four-letter expletives that greeted any movement.
She pulled at the window. It wouldn’t shift. When she stuck her hand through the narrow gap, she realised it didn’t matter. There was no wind. Outside the air was hot and damp, licking her hand like a dirty tongue.
Deb let herself drop to the floor, looking for anything that might help. She ran the water in the stainless-steel basin until it was as cold as it ever got, swished Mandy’s towel about in it, then squeezed it almost dry. The smell of chlorine from the water roughened her throat as she breathed. She no longer felt it on her hands; these days her skin was as coarse as her mind had become – and her language.
She wiped Mandy’s face again, then pulled back the sheet. In the moonlight, her childish body looked as though it had an extra skin of something shiny and transparent, like clingfilm. Deb used the wrung-out towel to wipe her down with firm, sweeping strokes copied from a film she’d seen years ago, all the time thinking of Kate.
Mandy’s arms were heavy and flaccid, flopping back on to the mattress as soon as Deb let them go. Even more worried, she pinched the sensitive skin under Mandy’s arm. There was no response. Not sure what she was looking for, Deb lifted one of Mandy’s eyelids and saw that the pupil was tiny. Her breathing was noisy, but slower than ever.
It must be an overdose, Deb thought, flapping the damp towel to make the air move over Mandy’s face. Oh, God, not again; please, please not again.
Mandy had had a visit today, so it was possible that she’d got hold of enough smack to put her out like this. Her friend could have brought it in and got it across the table under the eyes of the screw in charge. There were lots of ways to do that; only some of them involved paying off the screw.
Deb looked at her watch. It was four hours since she’d last summoned Bumface Betty and been bawled out for hysteria and time-wasting. Even after three years, Deb still hated being on the wrong side of any of the screws, and Bumface Betty was the worst. She liked watching inmates battling with rage and did her best to get them going. But she was the only source of help.
Deb left Mandy’s side to bang on the door. On this wing there weren’t any bells. You just had to bang and shout. Deb did both until her voice was hoarse and her fists hurt. There was no answer. She leaned her aching head against the cold metal of the door, waiting for the flap to whip open so that Bumface Betty could look in.
‘What now, Deborah?’ she’d said last time. ‘Hysterical again? You’ve been thinking about your kids, haven’t you? Turning young inmates into substitutes isn’t going to help, you know.’
‘I’m not,’ Deb had said, because if you didn’t challenge Bumface, she’d go on and on until you blew like an overloaded fuse.
‘Forget your kids. Face it: your life’s here now. Remember that, or you’ll make your time a misery for everyone.’
‘Isn’t it anyway?’
‘It doesn’t have to be, if you’re sensible. Most lifers buckle down and make the best of it. By the time you get parole, if you ever do, your girls won’t want to have anything to do with you anyway. You might as well forget them now. It’s a waste of time feeling guilty about them.’
I know, I know, I know, thought Deb, banging again. But it’s not guilt. I don’t feel guilty. It is not my fault I’m in here. And they’ve got Adam. He’s a good man. They’ll be all right. So long as they don’t trust anyone else. Oh, God! Please, let Kate be all right.
‘Help,’ she yelled. ‘Please, please help.’
Her fists beat at the door, producing no more than a thick thud. She turned her hands round and saw the dirt-marks of bruises beginning to form on the soft pads of flesh between the little fingers and her wrists. The skin burned and the flesh beneath it throbbed.
Glancing over her shoulder to check on Mandy, Deb banged again, ignoring the pain that spread all the way up the little fingers and across the palms.
‘For fuck’s sake, shut up!’ yelled a raucous voice she didn’t recognise.
‘Who is it?’
‘Deb. Gone mad, prob’ly.’
‘Well, somebody’d better fucking well make her stop. I need my kip.’
‘Help,’ Deb shouted. ‘Get someone to help. Mandy’s ill. Really ill. Could be her brain, heart, kidneys, anything. She needs help. Now.’
There was a small metallic crunch, which Deb could feel vibrating through her bones, as a key was shoved into the lock on the other side of the door. Wearily she pulled herself away, just in time as the door was flung back.
‘What’s going on?’ yelled Bumface Betty, as though she didn’t know, as though she hadn’t been waiting in silence just outside the door, enjoying Deb’s powerlessness. ‘You’ve woken the whole wing, you silly girl.’
Deb didn’t answer. She just flattened herself against the wall, gesturing to the bottom bunk.
‘Don’t touch her. I’ll get help.’
Deb let her knees sag and felt her nightie ruck up as her body slid down the wall until she was squatting on her heels. The coldness of the painted brick was a faint comfort until she thought of all the misery the building must have soaked up through the years: misery and hate and anger.
Please don’t let her die, she said silently. Whatever happens, please don’t let Mandy die, too.
Chapter 1
The machines swished and thudded like amniotic fluid around Trish as she sat, watching her father. Outside, the sun was dazzling and the air clogged with pollution. In here, blinds covered the windows; the artificial light was dim, and the air cool. The nurses’ shoes squeaked against the vinyl floor as they moved from bed to bed, checking, soothing, making sure all was well.
Each bed was like an island protected by its pri
vate reefs of machines. The still, silent patient lying in it might be desperately ill, but he wouldn’t die if any care could save him. A sensation of absolute competence lapped around Trish.
Paddy Maguire slept on. His jowly face was much paler than usual and the black stubble stood out a good quarter-inch from his skin. Trish should have realised that his old rich colour was as much a sign of the heart-attack to come as his smoking, the gargantuan plates of bacon and eggs he liked, and the floods of cream he poured over every pudding. But she’d never thought about it. There had been too many other things.
He shifted a little under his sheet, his black eyebrows twitching, as though he was dreaming. Trish didn’t know how you dreamed when you were on the edge of dying. She hoped it wasn’t fear that twisted his face. His head moved sharply to one side and then back to the other. Trish looked for his nurse, who nodded reassuringly and came to check his machines.
Her expression melted into genuine relief. Trish sank back in her chair, letting herself watch again. The dream, if that’s what it had been, seemed to be over; Paddy was back to the pale stillness she now recognised as normal for his condition.
He had deserted her, and her mother, before she was half-way through junior school. For years she wouldn’t speak to him. When she had eventually allowed herself to meet him, as an adult, she had found a lot to like, against all her instincts. There were his quick jokes, his sly perceptive comments on sacred cows of all sorts, and the hot anger that was so like her own and, like her own, usually triggered by injustice.
She approved of his cussedness, too; his refusal to do and be what everyone else thought he should. Trish pulled herself back from the abyss that opened there.
His Irish voice charmed her, these days, and she liked his flashing eyes and his secret cleverness. Bluff joking Paddy was how people were supposed to see him, and him with a mind like a razor; and a closed mouth when it mattered. She hadn’t expected that.
He was like no one else she’d ever known. He was her father. In a weird kind of way she was proud of him these days.
And now here he was, laid out in front of her after a heart-attack, still in danger, and she’d never told him what she felt. Sixty-two. Twenty-five years older than she was. He’d gone before he’d reached the age she was now.
He mustn’t die, she thought; not yet. Not before we’ve clawed back a bit more.
The machines pumped and churned, and Trish waited for a sign that they might get a chance. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up, expecting the nurse.
Her mother was smiling down at her. Trish smiled back. She had always admired Meg for her steady courage and her unshakeable kindness, but she hadn’t expected this. It was one thing for Paddy’s only child to come and watch over him as he lay between life and death, but for the wife he’d dumped in favour of some fly-by-night floozie from the typing pool was something else entirely.
‘I’ll take over, Trish.’ Meg wasn’t whispering, but her voice was pitched to suit the soft security of the ward. She was a doctor’s receptionist these days and knew all about hospitals and how to behave among the dying.
‘It’s all right. I …’
‘No. He’s in the best hands here and you’ve got work to do. They’ll be screaming for you in chambers, and it won’t do your father any good if you screw up the great career.’
Trish felt her smile broadening.
‘That’s better,’ Meg said. ‘Go on now. Hop it, Trish. Bernard’s coming to collect me later. He’ll drive me home.’
Trish quietly put her papers in her briefcase, eased down the locks so that they wouldn’t snap, and stood up. Meg kissed her, then patted her bum to urge her away. Trish went, looking back when she reached the doorway to see Meg leaning down over her erstwhile husband, smoothing the hair away from his forehead. The tenderness in her face made Trish turn back fully to watch.
Meg looked up. Her expression reverted to its more familiar, half-mischievous, wholly confident smile. She nodded, mouthing, ‘Hop it.’
Outside the building, Trish paused to breathe normally and fit herself back into her usual role of crisp, efficient member of the Bar, not the yearning, uncertain daughter of a half-known man, who might not survive to talk to her again or answer any of her questions.
It took a moment or two. When she was sure of herself, she felt in her shoulder bag for her mobile and rang for her messages.
There was one from Dave, her clerk, wanting her to get straight back to chambers to hear about an urgent brief she must accept if they were to help a child in need of protection from a potentially abusive parent. Trish felt her jaw clamp shut like a vice.
The next message was much easier. It asked her to call Heather Bonwell, who had recently been appointed to the High Court bench. Trish had often been led by Heather in her years as a silk and admired her. After her message came one from Anna Grayling, an old friend who ran an independent television production company. And after her, Dave again, nagging for an answer.
Trish rang him as she walked towards her car. His description of the case made her ears ache. The child’s parents, far too well-educated and endowed to have the remotest excuse, seemed to be using their four-year-old son as a means of punishing each other for the failure of their marriage. His father had been given a residence order at the divorce because the mother’s job took her abroad at very short notice and she clearly hadn’t wanted to be bothered with maternal responsibility. Now she had lost the job and seemed to think repossession of her child might do something for her shaky self-esteem, or so her husband’s solicitor believed.
‘And the child?’ Trish said into the phone, as she unlocked the car. ‘At four, he could be old enough to express a preference. What does he say?’
‘That he wants to stay with his father. But the mother’s claiming he’s been terrorised into saying it. When it’s pointed out to her that he shows no sign of terror, she then says he’s been bribed. Or brainwashed. Anyway, they need counsel fast. Will you do it? It’s for Thursday next week.’
‘OK. I’m on my way back now. The traffic looks vile, but I’ll see you when I can.’
‘Great. And how’s your father?’
What an afterthought! Aloud, she said, ‘Holding his own, they say. Thanks, Dave. I’ll see you.’
Switching off the phone and letting it drop on to the passenger seat beside her, Trish drove out of the car park and into a seething mass of cars and buses. One day, she thought, it’ll be possible to be beamed up, Scotty. And one day the sky will snow diamonds and white chocolate truffles into our upturned faces. One day.
As soon as the traffic stopped moving again, she phoned Heather Bonwell. It turned out that she thought Trish ought to apply for silk.
‘Oh, come on,’ she said at once. ‘I’m not nearly there yet.’
‘Thirty-seven, Trish. It’s by no means unprecedented and we still need a lot more women. Your income’s getting to the point where it should be virtually automatic, and you’ve a good reputation these days. Think about it.’
‘I’m flattered,’ Trish said. ‘But I think it’s a bit soon. I’m not sure I want to be turned down, and I think I would be.’
‘Don’t leave it too long. Now, will I see you at the next SWAB dinner?’
‘Definitely. I’m looking forward to it.’ Secretly Trish still preened herself whenever she thought of her invitation to join the exclusive women-only dining club. It had no secretary, no constitution, and no specific objects, but it had become the most powerful source of networking for women in legal London.
The traffic was beginning to shift ahead of her, so she waited to call Anna Grayling until she was stuck again.
‘Trish, fantastic!’ Anna’s voice was extravagantly bright. I wonder what she wants, Trish thought. ‘You are such an angel to ring back so quickly. How are you?’
‘Fine.’ Trish decided to hold the news about her father until she knew how the conversation would progress. ‘What’s up, Anna?’
‘
Could we meet? I’ve got a terrifically interesting proposition to put to you.’
‘Can you give me some idea what it is? I’ve got a lot on just now.’
‘It could wait, but I do want to get cracking in the fairly near future. You see … It’s quite complicated. Have you got a second now for me to give you just the barest smidgeon of an outline?’
‘Sure. I’m stuck in traffic.’
‘Thank God for mobiles, eh? OK. Here goes. I’m working on a film at the moment, a kind of Rough Justice sort of thing, about a woman who’s serving life for the murder of her father, and I need a legal adviser.’
‘I don’t do much crime these days, Anna.’
‘But you have done some, and this isn’t really about crime. The way I see it, it’s about a family on the edge and the dynamic that went awry, horribly awry. Two people are dead, another’s incarcerated for life, and one is living in slightly bizarre triumph.’ There was a short pause, then Anna’s voice again, coming wheedlingly out of the phone: ‘Interested yet, Trish?’
‘Curious anyway.’ Wariness made Trish’s voice cool, but it didn’t seem to bother Anna.
‘You see, families being what you’re so good at, and what always get you going, I thought you might enjoy being involved – as well as helping get an innocent woman out of prison.’
Film would be a new experience for Trish. She couldn’t stop a tingling of interest.
‘Who’s the woman?’
‘Deborah Gibbert. D’you remember the case? She was convicted partly on the evidence her own sister gave against her.’
‘Euthanasia, wasn’t it?’
‘Not really. If it had been, in the current climate, poor Deb would probably have got off with a suspended sentence for manslaughter.’
‘So what was it? How did she do it?’
‘She didn’t. That’s the point. She found her father dead one morning when she was staying at their house to help her mother look after him.’ Anna paused, as though to allow a question, but Trish didn’t have any to ask, yet.
‘She did that whenever she could, which wasn’t all that often because she’s got four kids, a husband, and at that stage she had a part-time job of her own, too.’
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