by J. H. Croix
After drenching the lace of her bra, he flicked his thumb at the tiny clasp. Her breasts tumbled free. She gasped at the feel of his mouth on her with nothing between her skin and his wet touch. He gave the same painstaking attention to her nipples that he’d given to her lips—kissing, licking, sucking and stroking—until she was almost incoherent. He pulled away, though away could only be measured in inches, and paused. His heart beat under her hand, his breath was as ragged as hers. When she met his eyes, they held a look that bordered on pain.
Need thrummed through her, beating along with the drum of her heart. His amber eyes held hers. His shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. “I think we might need to slow down,” he choked out.
His words broke through the fog in her brain. As glimmers of coherent thought began to return, she realized she was straddling him, her hips rolling restlessly against his rock hard cock. Her breasts were exposed, her nipples glistening from his attention. She’d become someone she didn’t recognize—wanton and almost desperate. She flushed from head to toe and knew her face must be flaming.
“Oh…” The only word she could manage to form. You sound like an idiot. Well, you definitely just acted like one. You’re on the side of the road and all but threw yourself at him. As if on cue, a car sped past them. Fortunately, the windows were fogged.
Lily took a breath and started to wiggle away. Noah’s hands clamped on her hips, his grip firm. “Don’t.”
She forced herself to look at him though it took all of her will, mortified she’d lost control and was half naked. “I’m sure you didn’t mean for that to happen. I was…”
He shook his head sharply. “What are you talking about?”
She wasn’t sure she could blush harder, but she must have because she was on fire, but this time it had nothing to do with desire, only utter embarrassment. “You said we needed to slow down…”
“That’s all I meant. If you think I didn’t want to kiss you, think again. If we don’t slow down, I won’t be able to stop at all.”
Perhaps his words should have brought her to pause, but all she wanted to do was not stop. As if to emphasize his point, he arched his hips against hers, sending a jolt of pleasure through her when the pressure of his cock nudged her clit. Two layers of clothing between them—his and hers—and she was so close to the edge, she could probably orgasm right here in seconds if he kept doing that. Sensibly, he didn’t.
He cleared his throat. “I know I’ve known you since we were kids, but I don’t really know you. I don’t want you to think I’m some jerk out for nothing more than a piece of ass. I’d like a chance to get to know you.” He cleared his throat. “If I’m being honest, about all I could think about today is what it would feel like to touch you.” His words were gruff, his eyes held a glimmer of uncertainty, but he didn’t look away.
Her heart pounded, she could hardly believe his words. She didn’t move as she tried to absorb what he said. She looked away and tried to gather herself. When she looked back at him, his eyes had become guarded.
He shrugged. “I can take a hint.” He started to lift her off of him.
“No! I wasn’t trying to give you a hint. I was trying to figure out what to say.” Barely able to get enough air, she spoke through her nerves, her words tumbling out rapidly. “I don’t have a lot of experience with this kind of thing. I don’t mean to come across like an idiot, but I’m nervous. I guess I couldn’t believe you liked me like that, but I’d love it if we could…” She paused and shrugged. “I don’t know, get to know each other.”
His grip on her hips eased slightly, and the guarded look left his eyes. The air was charged as he held her eyes in his hot, amber gaze. He took a breath as if to steady himself. His eyes flicked down to her breasts—in that flicker, it felt as if he touched her. When he looked up again, he smiled, almost regretfully. “How about I get that tire changed before I forget I’m trying to be a halfway decent guy?”
A giggle escaped her as she nodded. “Right. Good idea.” She promptly discovered that untangling herself from him in the tiny space with her breasts bare and desire hardly in check proved to be a challenge, physically and emotionally. By the time, she’d gotten herself off of him, her breath was shallow and her pulse out of control. When she glanced over at him, he looked on the edge of pain.
“Are you okay?” Her question was more automatic than anything, a reflex in response to the look on his face.
He slanted his eyes to her and chuckled. “You don’t seem to be aware of what you’re doing to me.” His words were rough and raw.
Hearing any man talk about her like that was so foreign to her, Lily had no idea how to respond. The fact that it was Noah—sexy, reserved Noah who she now knew to have a kind enough heart to take care of his sick mother—well that made it nearly impossible for her to do anything other than blush madly.
Noah shook his head as he adjusted his shirt. “Anyone ever mention you’re sexy as hell when you blush?”
On cue, her face got even hotter. She managed to shake her head. He merely chuckled at her response before climbing out of the truck.
Chapter 4
Noah watched Lily wave as she drove away. Lily. Her name suited her. He checked the impulse to race after her. He wanted to follow her wherever she went and get far more than the brief taste he’d just had of her. Somewhere along the way, his brain completely stopped functioning as he drove her back to her car. When he felt her lush curves against his arm when he stopped for the deer, his body simply took over. Even now, after kneeling on the icy road to change her tire, his body was barely in check. His cock was so hard, it was uncomfortable to sit. He never lost control the way he’d come close to with her. Somehow, his conscience tapped on his shoulder and offered just enough discipline that he managed to stop. When she sat on his lap, he could feel the wet heat of her against his cock through his jeans. Her breasts, generous and near perfect with rosy nipples, had almost pushed him over the edge. The way she was in his arms, tentative and bold at once without an ounce of calculation in her, wild with passion—he didn’t know how he’d managed to stop.
He thought of her eyes—that uncertainty, as if she couldn’t believe what he was saying—and wondered. It was hard to imagine she hadn’t been fawned over before. While he couldn’t say they’d been close before, he knew her to mostly keep to herself. She had the wild, sexy edge that female shifters had, even if she kept it shrouded behind her quiet, unassuming manner. He rolled down his window, icy air whipping through the truck, in an effort to cool the fire she’d started in his body. By the time he got home, he was shivering and had managed to get rid of the bulge in his pants.
When he walked into his mother’s house, he found her sitting in the kitchen, her face tired and gaunt. She’d always been a thin woman and had only gotten thinner since she’d been sick. He knew the chemo treatments wore on her. His heart tightened, but he shoved down the fear and pain waiting in the wings. He didn’t want her to die and didn’t want to face the possibility.
“Hey Mom. How’re you feeling?”
She glanced up from whatever she was reading, a soft smile gracing her face. She shrugged gently. “As well as could be expected. Did you take care of Lily’s tire?”
While he’d waited with his mother at her chemo appointment, he’d shared his encounter with Lily that morning. A hot flush rose when he considered what transpired other than changing Lily’s tire. “Yup. All taken care of.”
His mother nodded approvingly and went back to reading. Since he’d moved back home to help her, he’d come to learn she savored quiet. He didn’t ask her about it, but it was such a marked contrast from his home when he was a boy he could only guess she appreciated the absence of noise his father had constantly created. When his father was alive, there was either a television blaring, or he was barking about something or other. Now that it had been over a decade since Noah had moved out, he’d had time to consider his father. Willis had been a restless, unhappy soul. No
ah surmised that the constant thrum of background noise kept Willis from thinking too much. Willis had despised the secrecy around shifters and was known to rant about how stupid it was when they could easily overpower humans if needed.
His mother had offered little about what she knew of his father’s background. Noah knew they’d married young when Carol got pregnant when she was only seventeen. She wasn’t a shifter, but came from a family known to be friendly toward shifters. Willis had been raised by a man much like himself, so it stood to reason he repeated the pattern. When Noah contemplated his mother’s influence on him, he couldn’t put words to how thankful he was for her influence. By happenstance he had a mother who taught him there were possibilities beyond useless rage even though she faced it almost daily when his father was alive.
His mother startled him by speaking again. “I heard today they’re coordinating with the police out in Montana. One of the nurses at the hospital told me about it. She only had secondhand information, but said rumor was they’re hoping to get Theo to talk.” Carol sighed and lifted her eyes to him. “You could help them, you know. With your military experience…”
“Mom, you keep saying that, but…”
She cut him off. “But what? You’re a good boy, always have been. You act like no one in Catamount will trust you because of your father and his family. I think you only make it worse by keeping to yourself. I’m happier than I can say to have you home. I hope you want to stay no matter what happens to me. I might not be a shifter, but I know it’s not easy being who you are when you’re not in a place like Catamount.”
He closed his eyes and took a breath. His mother was right and he knew it, but he needed some time to get his bearings again. Catamount was home, but he was still figuring out how to reconcile the boy he’d been when he left to the man he’d become after years in the Special Forces. A part of him sincerely wanted to offer his help on the investigation since Callen’s death, but he didn’t want to ruffle any feathers. He opened his eyes and found his mother waiting patiently. “Maybe I’ll stop by Jake North’s office again tomorrow.”
His mother, sensible as she was, didn’t push any more. She simply nodded and went back to reading. Hours later, Noah lay in bed, his mind and body replaying those heated moments with Lily. He kicked the covers off and strode to the bathroom. Even after a hot shower and a quick, completely unsatisfying self-induced release, he failed to quell the lust that surged through him when Lily sashayed through his thoughts.
***
“If you were hoping to hide your thing with Noah, you might want to stop making out on the side of the road,” Roxanne said quietly, her eyes sly.
Lily couldn’t keep her mouth from falling open. When Roxanne chuckled at the look on her face, Lily snapped her mouth shut and groaned, her face heating up. “Where did you hear that?” she hedged.
They were sitting on the couch at Phoebe’s house. By chance, they were the only two in the room. Phoebe and Shana were in the kitchen, and Chloe had stepped into the bathroom. Phoebe frequently hosted girls’ nights where they shared dinner, occasionally played cards, or watched whatever suited their fancy on television. Shana’s late husband happened to be Callen Peyton, the shifter who’d died in mountain lion form on a highway and left a trail of secrets behind him. Since his death a few months back, they hadn’t had a girls’ night together. In the ensuing months, Chloe had fallen in love with Dane and joined their small circle. Nice as it was to finally get together, the current of turmoil among Catamount shifters ran under every moment.
Phoebe poked her head into the living room. “More wine?”
Roxanne reached for the bottle on the coffee table, testing its weight. “No, we’re good for now.”
Phoebe disappeared back into the kitchen, and Roxanne turned back to Lily. “I didn’t hear it from anyone. I drove past your car on my way home and saw Noah’s windows steamed up like it was nobody’s business. It’s not like I could really see anything, but I’m not stupid.”
Lily took a gulp of wine and finally managed to look at Roxanne. “There is no ‘thing’ with us. He…” She paused, her face hot. He made me feel things I’ve never felt and made me so desperate for more, I can’t stop thinking about him.
Roxanne’s eyes softened. “Just teasing, you know. I already told you I think Noah’s a good guy. He happens to be sexy as hell too.”
Lily couldn’t help the giggle that escaped. “No argument from me on that point. When I said there’s no thing, it’s just ‘cause all that happened was he kissed me. I don’t know what it means.”
Roxanne twirled her wineglass, watching the rich red wine swirl before she looked up again, her eyes thoughtful. “Did he say anything?”
Lily chewed the inside of her mouth and shrugged. “He said he wanted to get to know me.”
Roxanne’s smiled slowly. “Well, then that’s what it means.”
Lily wanted to scream. That’s what it means? I need more to understand. What does getting to know me mean? What happens after that? And then…Shut up. Again, an off switch would be so helpful for her brain. Still blushing, Lily looked up when Chloe came out of the bathroom. Chloe had only been in Catamount for a few months, though it appeared she was here to stay. Dane had claimed her so fast, it made Lily’s head spin and made her wonder how come she’d never had that kind of an effect on a man. Chloe glanced between Lily and Roxanne, her gaze curious. “I’m gonna see if they need any help in the kitchen,” she offered as she walked past them into the kitchen.
Lily turned back to Roxanne. “You know I’m terrible at relationships,” she said bluntly.
Roxanne rolled her eyes. “You can’t say you’re terrible at something you’ve never even tried. Noah wouldn’t have said anything if he didn’t mean it. He’s never been known as a guy to play around.”
Lily returned the eye roll. “Since when did you become an expert on him? He’s only been back in town a few months.”
Roxanne took a sip of wine and chuckled. “Maybe so, but I know his mom. Plus, I don’t think he even dated anyone in high school. He kept to himself. His mother would love for him to give someone a chance. She worries he’s too focused on taking care of her. But…” Roxanne paused and practically glared at Lily. “You are an absolute master at avoiding relationships and acting like it’s because no one bothers to notice you. You’re cute as hell and plenty of men have noticed, but you keep getting in your own way.”
Sometimes Roxanne’s blunt observations and advice were appreciated, and sometimes they weren’t. At the moment, Lily crossed and uncrossed her legs, took another gulp of wine and tried to figure out how to ignore Roxanne’s point. Roxanne might be right, but no one knew Lily’s avoidance of relationships had mushroomed the older she got and the longer she stayed a virgin. Her entire life she’d struggled to figure out how to make sense of the way she was. She liked people, but only in small doses. By the time high school and then college came and went, she discovered the quick connections many people made didn’t come easily to her. She was an introvert, which didn’t fit too well in the fast-paced social world. Another layer to the complication were her conflicted feelings about being a shifter. Sometimes, all she wanted was to be a plain human and fall in love with just a man. The only sparks she’d ever felt though were with shifters. Noah was in his own category, but still. As far as relationships went, it wasn’t as if she’d never dated, only that it had been rare and her anxiety reliably got in the way. If Noah hadn’t surprised her so much today, she would have bet his kiss never would have happened.
She sighed and met Roxanne’s eyes. “Maybe you’re right. No matter what, I’m not exactly up to speed with interpreting men’s intentions.”
Roxanne looped an arm over Lily’s shoulders. “How about you practice not avoiding Noah for a start?”
Lily had just taken a sip of wine and almost spit it out. When she caught her breath, she glanced at Roxanne whose eyes were bright. “Wow! You don’t ask for mu
ch, do you? I suppose I could start with that,” she said wryly.
Phoebe called out that dinner was ready. Roxanne and Lily made their way into the kitchen. After dinner and two rounds of rummy, Jake arrived while they were still lounging around the kitchen table. Phoebe was standing by the sink rinsing dishes. Jake slipped his arms around her waist and dropped a lingering kiss in the curve of her neck. Lily happened to look their way and caught an intimate glance between them. Her eyes bounced off of them, and she sighed as conversation continued around her. She was beyond thrilled her brother had finally (finally!) allowed himself to love Phoebe the way he’d denied himself for years. She didn’t like to think about it, but it made her feel a little lonely. They’d never spoken of it, but she’d felt a tiny kinship with Phoebe. Though Phoebe had dated more than Lily had when they were younger, she’d never been too serious with anyone, most likely because her unexpressed love for Jake was a pretty big obstacle. Happy as Lily was for her brother and Phoebe to find their way to each other, she was starting to feel more and more like something wasn’t quite right with her.
As she drove home through the cold, dark night a little while later, she wondered when she’d see Noah again.
Chapter 5
Noah took a swallow of Roxanne’s coffee and pushed through the door outside. Catamount had been graced with another foot of snow during the night. The sun broke through the clouds in spots, leaving glittering paths in its light as the snow melted. He stepped over a snow bank and walked across the road to his truck. While he waited for his truck to warm up, another truck pulled alongside him. When he saw the driver’s side window open, he rolled down his window to find Derek Miller. Derek’s dark blonde hair curled out from under the hat he wore. Derek’s blue eyes were slightly guarded, but he looked determined. Noah waited for him to speak.
