“Promise me you won’t worry,” he said. “I wanted you to be informed, but I’ll feel badly if you’re overset.”
“I’ll keep busy with my embroidery, and I have a meeting tomorrow with the society for the orphans.” She didn’t tell him that her nerves were on edge, because he didn’t want her to worry, but she knew already that it would prove futile.
“I must go,” he said.
She stood and stumbled over the sewing basket. He caught her with his strong arms and pulled her back. “Oh, my, how clumsy of me.”
“I feared you would fall,” he said. “You didn’t twist your ankle, I hope?”
“No, I’m fine.” She saw half the contents of her sewing basket scattered on the floor. She didn’t want him to see the handkerchief. She started to bend down, but he stopped her. “Let me.”
Her face heated. Oh, God. Why had she ever thought it would be appropriate to embroider his Christian name?
He would know that she’d developed feelings for him. It would be so mortifying.
He bent down on one knee as he placed the items inside. She couldn’t stand it any longer. She bent down and picked up the handkerchief while he retrieved the baby gown she was embroidering. Using the sofa arm for support, she rose and trembled a little.
He frowned at the baby gown.
“My sister Mary is expecting her first child this summer,” she said, hoping she didn’t sound as breathless as she felt.
“Ah, I see.” He looked at her quizzically.
“What is it?” she asked.
He shrugged. “It’s nothing.”
“I insist.” She hastily stuffed the half-finished handkerchief beneath the scraps of fabric in the basket.
“You indicated you never plan to marry, but you seem like the sort of woman who likes infants. Then again, you took care of your younger siblings when you were growing up. Perhaps you had your fill.”
She kept the smile plastered on her face, but a little piece of her heart crumbled. Her dream of having her own babe would never come true.
He stood and dusted off his knees. “I will be sure to let you know of any news about Montclief.”
After he left, she sank onto the sofa and put her head in her hands. He could not have known that his words about the infant gown would pierce her heart. Worse still, he’d come within inches of seeing that handkerchief.
She must be honest with herself, because she had allowed herself to develop strong feelings for him. The worst part was that she’d begun spinning fantasies. In her mind, she pictured sitting with him and Justin in the drawing room after supper. She imagined calling them her boys and watching them play backgammon while she embroidered. Sometimes she imagined placing her hand over a rounded belly, but that only made her sad.
When the season ended, she and Bellingham would go their separate ways. She knew it would be hard, but she would always remember him.
A footman brought a tray with the mail. “Thank you,” Laura said.
She opened the invitations and was delighted to see that Mrs. Woodley, the secretary of the Society to Benefit the Orphans, had accepted her offer to host the meeting. The other four invitations were for balls. She smiled. Perhaps she would make friends in London after all.
Feeling buoyant, she opened a letter. It was from Rachel. Laura smiled as she read about the problem of Mr. Hunmaker’s snoring in church. Apparently, he had interrupted Papa’s sermon to the point that no one could hear. Mrs. Landon had solved the problem by rapping her parasol on Mr. Hunmaker’s prodigious nose.
Smiling, Laura turned the page around in order to read the crossed portion of the letter. Her smile faded as she read Rachel’s warning.
Dearest sister, you know how much our mother dotes on reading the doings of the ton in the Daily Tattler. Of course, it is always two weeks late, but rain or shine, Mama rushes to Mr. Jones’s shop to purchase it. Imagine if you will her initial excitement upon reading that a certain widow new about town was seen with the Earl of B-ham at a ball. Mama was so over the moon that Papa actually condescended to read what he calls the Daily Rag.
Since he reads every word of the Times, he quickly deduced that the man was none other than the Earl of Bellingham, who is evidently a famous politician. We were all delighted that you had made his acquaintance, until Mama grew very quiet. Papa asked her why she looked so vexatious, and she could not speak for a full minute. Then she admitted that she had read the earl’s name in connection with numerous ladies (whose names are not well concealed) over the past two years. Papa’s expression turned almost purple, and he was ready to take the stage to London in order to have a “word” with the “notorious rakehell.” I then managed to persuade him to let me write to you so that you could reassure all of us.
I am quite sure that there is a reasonable explanation, as I told all of our family. I can almost hear you laughing at our concerns over what was probably a brief introduction to a haughty lord who looked down his patrician nose at you. In light of Papa’s concerns, I do urge you to respond as quickly as possible.
Laura inhaled sharply. She retrieved her lap desk and drew out paper, pen, and ink. She was so rattled she blotted the first page and had to start another. With a deep breath, she told herself to slow down and be calm. She would tell her family only as much as she thought they needed to know.
Dear Rachel,
First, I wish to assure you and our parents that there is no cause for alarm. It is true that I am acquainted with the Earl of Bellingham. I met him in a most peculiar set of circumstances that involve Justin. You will no doubt chide me for withholding a behavioral problem that arose with him, but I did not want all of you to worry when we were so far away.
You are aware that the reason I traveled to London was in order to give Justin a chance to see his friends here. I had no idea that his friends were wild. As it turns out, the Earl of Bellingham caught Justin hiding a flask containing spirits. After consulting our mutual friend Lady Atherton, he called upon me to inform me of Justin’s transgression. Matters grew worse when Montclief learned of Justin’s behavior. I will keep this brief, but essentially, the earl offered to provide guidance to Justin after Montclief threatened to remove him from my care. You can well imagine how terrified I was of losing my son.
To be honest, I was reluctant at first to allow the earl to assist with disciplining Justin, but Bellingham soon proved to be more than capable. He has been an excellent role model for Justin and has introduced him to fencing. I am grateful to him for his kindness and count him as a friend. When I return home, I will tell you all of the details. For now, I trust that you will convey all of my love to everyone and let them know that we are enjoying our London adventure.
Yours etc.
Laura
Her conscience roared at her as she reviewed the letter she had written. She had omitted the sham engagement, and of course, she would never tell her family that she had kissed the earl more than once.
Laura told herself that it would be impossible to explain every circumstance in a letter. It would only cause her family needless concern. When she returned home, she would confess everything to Rachel in private and ask her to forgive her for withholding so much information. By then, all the problems would be resolved, and she would be left with the memories of a man who had gone out of his way to help her son.
She sealed the letter, accepted the invitations, and rang for a footman. A few minutes later, Reed appeared. “My lady, Lord Pembroke has come to call.”
Laura did not want to see him, and she most certainly did not want to encourage him. “Please inform him that I am not at home.”
Reed nodded, took her letters, and quit the drawing room.
Laura returned to her embroidery, but voices on the stairs interrupted her.
“My lord, her ladyship is not receiving.”
“I must see her immediately,” Pembroke said.
Laura groaned. If only the draperies were longer, she might hide behind them. She tucked the e
mbroidery back in the basket and rose.
The door flew open and Pembroke marched inside like a rooster. “I will not take no for an answer.”
Reed stood behind him with a harried expression.
“My lord, you are welcome to cool your heels in my drawing room. Good day.”
When she took a step, Pembroke grabbed her hand and knelt on one knee. “My lady, allow me to express my ardent—”
“No, I will not allow it,” she said, yanking her hand away. “My answer would only create ill feelings. Please abide by the proprieties and leave me in peace.”
“But I can no longer contain my admiration and tender feelings for you.”
She suspected his tender feelings were the work of a fervid imagination. “My lord, I do not wish to be the cause of any wounds, but I highly recommend you do not utter words that will embarrass both of us.”
“I thought you understood how I feel,” he said.
She sighed. “Please stand.” When he did, she said, “You are a very nice man, but you must find someone who will return your, er, ardent feelings.”
“I feared it was thus,” Pembroke said. “You are married to the grave.”
“In a manner of speaking, I suppose that is correct.” She saw the disappointment on his face and sought to make him feel better. “You deserve a woman who will appreciate your enthusiasm, and most of all, you deserve someone who will share your interests and love you heart and soul.” She smiled. “Let me know when you find her.”
He sighed. “I worried your answer would not be in the affirmative and thought I would be in lowered spirits, but you have managed to reject me in the kindest way possible.”
Obviously he had expected her refusal. “I hope so, Lord Pembroke.”
“Are you certain you won’t change your mind?” he asked.
She laughed at his persistence. “I’m certain. Thank you for the great honor. Now bestow it on someone you know will be thrilled to accept.”
Chapter Nine
Laura returned home after a day of shopping with Lady Atherton and invited her to join her for tea. As the servants carried her numerous purchases upstairs, she smiled at her friend. “I fear I’m too free with my spending,” she said.
“Nonsense,” Lady Atherton said as they climbed the stairs. “What good is money if you don’t buy things that make you happy?”
They stepped inside the drawing room, and Laura produced a stool for Lady Atherton.
“Thank you, dear. I fear my feet complain when I use them too much.”
Laura laughed and rang the bell. After instructing the maid to bring the tea tray, she sat on the other side of the sofa. “I excuse my shopping habits by making most of the purchases for my family.”
“I’m sure they appreciate your gifts,” she said.
“Before I married Phillip, I was relegated to looking in shop windows and dreaming of buying all the pretty shawls and hats I saw. So now I do not have a great deal of self-control. It is probably a good thing that all the pretty temptations in London are not very close to home.”
When Lady Atherton set her feet on the carpet, she turned to view Laura and inadvertently upset the sewing basket on the floor. “Oh, dear, I’ve made a mess.”
“It’s quite all right,” Laura said, starting to rise. “I’ve overturned it more than once. I always forget to push it out of the way.”
“Stay where you are. I’m not an invalid,” she said, putting items back inside. When she picked up the handkerchief, she regarded Laura with raised brows. “Andrew? As in Carrington, the Earl of Bellingham?”
Laura winced. “He has been so good to Justin. I honestly do not know what I would have done without his help. I wanted to make a gift for him, but I should not have used his given name. It was silly of me.” Her face heated. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“My dear, I wondered if you had developed tender feelings for him.”
“Only as a friend,” she said. Why had she left the handkerchief out in plain sight? What if he had seen it the other day? The humiliation would have been too much to bear.
“You can be honest with me. Anything you say will go no farther.” Lady Atherton paused and added, “Sometimes it helps to discuss these things with a friend. I’m guessing you’re confused.”
“No, I’m not confused,” she said. “I’ve just fantasized like a silly schoolgirl, that’s all.”
The maid arrived with the tea tray, and Laura was glad for the interruption. She hoped to turn the conversation in a new direction. As she poured the tea, Laura said, “I’m looking forward to my first meeting of the charitable society for the orphans. I admit I was a bit disappointed that we would not actually visit the orphans, but I suppose that isn’t acceptable.”
“No lady should venture into that part of town,” Lady Atherton said, accepting a cup. “Now, you have turned the conversation, but I wish to circle back.”
“So much for my attempts to divert you.”
Lady Atherton set her cup aside. “The night of my ball, I saw the way Bellingham looked at you.”
“Yes, and you warned me not to become one of his conquests.”
“Allow me to continue,” Lady Atherton said. “Later that evening, he insisted upon personally returning that flask. I knew then that he had conceived a partiality for you.”
“We had not even spoken,” Laura said.
“My dear, men are visual creatures. He was mesmerized at first glance.”
“He soon was caught up in my problems with Montclief. I was desperate and said we were engaged. He was too much of a gentleman to deny my claim.”
Lady Atherton snorted. “I know Bellingham. He would not have supported you unless he had some expectation of being rewarded.”
Laura tried to control her reaction, but her face heated.
Lady Atherton studied her. “What did he demand in recompense?”
“He made no demands,” she said.
“Then you must have promised him something,” Lady Atherton said.
“You are as relentless as he is,” she said. “If you must know, I told him I would do anything if he did not expose me.”
“Dear God, tell me you didn’t go to bed with him.”
“Of course I didn’t!” she cried.
Lady Atherton pressed her hand to her heart. “Thank goodness. No man will buy the cow if he can get the milk for free.”
Laura burst out laughing. “I assure you he is not interested in buying the cow.”
“Did he kiss you?” Lady Atherton said.
“I refuse to answer that question. In any case, I would never kiss and tell,” she said.
“You just answered my question,” Lady Atherton said.
“I beg your pardon?”
“If you had not kissed, you would have said so.”
“We have formed a friendship. He intimated to Montclief—or rather I did—that he would provide guidance to Justin. He is a gentleman and has kept his word. I’ve had trouble with Justin, and Bellingham has been of great assistance.”
“It’s a convenient arrangement,” Lady Atherton said. “Before you become defensive again, hear me out.”
“Very well.”
“I have no doubt that he is good with the boy.”
Laura frowned. “To be honest, I think the way he handles Justin is remarkable. More than once I’ve suspected his methods were learned at his father’s side.”
“I’m not surprised. He had an excellent father and a loving mother. She drew pictures of her boys and displayed them.” She sighed. “Bellingham was away at university when the three of them succumbed to consumption. The doctors warned him to stay away since he was the heir. Near the end, he rushed home, or so I’ve been told, but he was too late.”
Laura covered her mouth.
“I think his interest in guiding your son is a very good sign,” Lady Atherton said. “Perhaps there is hope for him to heal.”
Laura sipped her tea, remembering his words while they waltzed. M
y mother.
After all these years, he’d probably learned to cope with the grief by going on with life, the way everyone did. She could understand. When Phillip died, she’d gone through the motions, but her son’s needs had given her purpose. Concentrating on Justin had helped her to get through the worst part. But Bellingham had been young and had no time to prepare. She’d been fortunate to have those four extra years with her husband, but she’d hated seeing him suffer. No matter how death came, it was always a shock.
Lady Atherton finished her tea. “Did you receive an invitation to the Bonhams’ ball? It is in a fortnight.”
“Yes, I was very surprised, since we’ve not met. Did you suggest they send an invitation to me?”
“Of course I did. Will you accompany me?”
“I would be delighted,” she said.
Lady Atherton smiled. “Perhaps a certain earl will be there.”
“The handkerchief was a mistake—just a passing fancy. I am done with spinning fantasies in my head.”
Five days later
Laura looked out the window once again. She’d told herself that he must be busy. He was a prominent politician, after all, and had many duties with his properties. But another voice, one deep inside, answered that he’d always made time for them before. She shouldn’t assume the worst. He’d always kept his word in the past. Tomorrow was Justin’s fencing day. Bell would call for him at ten o’clock as he’d always done before.
Her silly worries were for nothing. She returned to the sofa and continued embroidering the handkerchief for him. For reasons she didn’t understand, she felt compelled to finish it, even though she didn’t have the courage to give it to him.
A tap sounded at the door. Laura’s heart leaped. She rose and shook out her skirts, expecting Bell to walk inside and say as he always did that he’d told Reed not to bother, since Bell knew his way upstairs. “Come in,” Laura said.
Reed entered and brought her a letter.
“Thank you,” she said, trying to mask her disappointment. She must be patient. He would call soon. Something had come up. Perhaps he was gathering information about Montclief and wanted to ensure everything was correct before calling to give her the latest news.
What a Wicked Earl Wants Page 19
