Laura waited a long time, and then the answer came. Tears rolled down her face. She wrapped her arms around her belly. “I love you,” she said.
The maid had braided Laura’s hair and put a hot brick in the sheets. Laura washed her face and donned a fresh nightgown. Tomorrow she would see her son again. She’d missed him so much and hoped that he’d barely thought of her as he explored Thornhill Park with Harry and Colin.
A measure of peace stole over her. She knew that in the months to come she would face unimaginable difficulties, but she had faced difficulties before, and she knew that no matter what came, she would find a way to do what was best for the baby growing inside of her and for Bell.
She laid the voluminous shawl across the foot of the bed and meant to retire when a knock sounded at the door. She cracked the door open to find Bell. “Come in,” she said softly.
“I can hear Lady Atherton’s snores through the adjacent wall,” he said. “You will not be able to sleep with that racket.”
“It’s late, and I doubt there are any available rooms left.”
“Laura, this is the last night before we arrive at Thornhill Park. We will be surrounded by others.” He looked directly into her eyes.
She wasn’t surprised. He was a direct sort of man. “You wish for more privacy?” she asked.
“Yes, I wish to talk to you, but you know me well. We need to talk, and there will be more discussions when we arrive at Thornhill Park. But for your sake we must observe the proprieties when we arrive there. The truth is I can no more get you out of my head than I could the day I brought Justin’s flask to you.”
“What are you saying?” she said.
“I want to discuss what is between us. Will you come to my room? The walls are paper thin, and I want to speak frankly.”
She retrieved her shawl and wrapped it around her. Then she followed him across the hall. A tiny spark of hope lit within her, but she mentally chided herself. Nothing had changed for him, and everything had changed for her.
He had made it clear that permanency was not an option.
When she entered his room, they sat on the bed, facing each other.
He captured her hands. “I know we live far apart, but I don’t want distance to stand in the way of our friendship. I hope you will agree to correspond.”
She studied his face, realizing that for him this was probably a big step. “You will travel this summer. It may be difficult.”
“Colin holds an annual hunting party in the fall. You could attend and bring Justin.”
By fall, her condition would be difficult to hide. “Perhaps.”
“When I return from the Continent, I will send you a letter, and we will make plans. Justin will help me persuade you.”
“Let us wait until the time grows closer to tell him. Otherwise he will be constantly asking me about the plans.” She looked at their joined hands. He’d invited her to his room, and now she had the opportunity to tell him that he would be a father by next winter. But she had not planned how to tell him, and there would be plenty of opportunities when they reached Thornhill Park. She just needed time to consider the best way to tell him, and she must, no matter how much she dreaded giving him news he would not welcome.
“It occurs to me that you’ve told me very little about your family,” he said. “Is your father stern?”
“Only when he needs to be. My brothers got caned more than once.”
“Let me guess. Spare the rod, spoil the child.”
“Yes. Phillip did not believe in caning a child. I was glad. What about your father?”
“He knew that a caning would end too quickly. He made us muck out the barn.”
“Your brother got in trouble, too?”
He only then realized he’d used the word us. “Yes, all boys are bad.”
She laughed. “Sometimes girls are bad, too.”
“Now this is interesting. Did you do bad things, Laura?” he said in a low voice.
“Yes. I was jealous that my brothers got to swim in the stream, but the girls were forbidden. Adam and Caleb were always lording it over me. One time I stole their breeches. They had to run home naked.”
His shoulders shook with laughter. “Tell me about your first kiss,” he said.
“Ugh,” she said. “I was ten. Robert Bayer caught me by a tree and mashed his mouth to mine. I kicked him in the shin.”
“Oh, so you’re not so different from Angeline,” he said.
She doubted Angeline had taken care of siblings as a child, but she kept that to herself.
“Did your family ever travel?” he asked.
“No, I lived all my life in Hampshire,” she said. “London was the first place I ever journeyed to.”
His parents had taken Steven and him to Brighton for sea bathing. They had gone to see Stonehenge. Every spring they had gone to London. “I saw the Tower of London when I was a boy. You took Justin, did you not?”
“I did. He liked it because it was ghoulish.”
Bell smiled. “You’re a good mother to him. It cannot have been easy to be the only parent.”
“My parents helped when they could. So did my brothers and sisters. But they all have children of their own. I didn’t want to impose on them.”
He cupped her cheek. “Laura, you’re a special woman. Don’t ever forget it.”
“I think you are the most remarkable man I’ve ever met,” she said.
He laughed. “We have admired each other and can now declare we are perfect together.”
With all of her heart, she wished it could be so.
“Why are you so solemn?” he asked.
“I find myself a little reluctant for tomorrow.”
“Why?” he said.
“Because I don’t want tonight to end.”
“Laura?”
She’d fallen in love with him, and in years to come, she did not want to look back with regrets. “I want one last night with you.”
Bell searched her eyes. “Are you sure?”
She answered him with a deep, hungry kiss.
Oh, God. He removed his boots, trousers, and stockings. When he looked at her, she gave him a sultry look. He wrapped his arms around her. When their lips met, he teased his tongue along the seam of her mouth until she opened for him. The kiss was deep and hot. He wanted her so badly, but he would not rush her.
Bell lifted the shift above her hips and pulled it over her head. He cupped her breasts and teased her nipples with his thumbs. She arched her back. He knew what she wanted and suckled her. She placed her hand on the back of his head, and she started breathing faster.
She ran her hand over his chest and down his torso. His cock was straining against his drawers. She reached between them and pulled the ribbon loose. Her hand slid over him. “It’s hard,” she said.
He was breathing heavily. She slowly pulled his drawers off, teasing him with her fingers, and he watched the whole time until he sprang out. This time, she curled her hand around him, and he groaned.
He cupped Laura’s breasts and suckled them. Then he reached between them and encountered wetness. “Oh, yes,” he said.
He pushed her thighs apart, reached under her bottom, and lifted her up. When he used his tongue on her sweet spot, she cried out. He paused and met her gaze. She grabbed the extra pillow and bit it.
He looked up at her while he used his tongue to drive her to the edge. Her head had fallen back, and her hair spilled over the pillow. She placed her hand on the back of his head as he spread the folds and laved her faster.
She was writhing on the bed. “I want you,” she said.
“Where?” he said, sliding his finger along her wet folds.
“Inside me. Now.”
He positioned his cock, and this was no leisurely lovemaking. He pushed inside her and she lifted up to him, her back bowing. Then he pulled her legs over his shoulders and held her hips. He could not ever remember being this lust-crazed in all his life. He watched as he pushed inside
her. She was hot and tight inside. He withdrew partway and pressed in as far as he could go. He held still and said, “Squeeze me.”
When she did, he nearly spilled his seed because it felt so damned good. He reached between them and rubbed her sweet spot as he thrust faster inside her. Little feminine sounds came out of her throat, making him insane. When she came apart, the powerful contractions gripped him, and ecstasy took over. Afterward, he collapsed atop her, but he didn’t want to crush her. He rolled to his back and looked at her. She was still breathing hard. He was losing his focus. His brain shut down, and he remembered nothing.
At some point, he awoke with a start. The candle was still burning, but it would gutter soon. She was watching him with a sleepy smile. He cupped her face. “Are you all right?”
“Yes,” she said, smiling.
He leaned over her. “I’m going to have a hard time resisting you at Thornhill Park.”
She shook her head. “We cannot when my son is there, and Lady Atherton as well. We cannot be seen sneaking in the night.”
He kissed her long and deep. “God, I want you again.”
She took his hands and placed them on her breasts. He pushed them together and flicked his tongue back and forth. She arched her back, and her nails bit into him. He kissed his way down her belly, and then he pressed her thighs wider. He used his tongue to give her pleasure, and she threaded her fingers in his hair. When he slid two fingers inside her, she reached between them and wrapped her hand around his cock.
“You want me inside you?”
“Yes,” she said.
He slid home and held still, loving the way it felt inside of her. When he set a slow rhythm, she arched up to him, straining her body. He reached for her sweet spot and a moment later, she cried out as her body contracted all around him. Then he thrust inside her without restraint, swearing this would not be the last night. He knew he would not be able to resist her. But his thoughts became unfocused and he came, straining inside her. He kissed her sweet lips and curled behind her on his side. His eyes shut, and the last thing he remembered was her whisper. “I love you.”
They changed horses at an inn within twelve miles of Thornhill Park. Laura’s eyes held the languorous expression of a woman well loved. Last night, she’d obviously thought him asleep when she’d said she loved him. In the past, he’d hated when women said that to him, because he didn’t believe them. But he’d suspected Laura held tender feelings for him. He didn’t mind, because unlike all the others, she wasn’t looking for a husband.
When he turned to Laura, she regarded him with a sultry expression. He wanted her again, and he could clearly see the desire in her eyes. She’d made it clear that lovemaking was off-limits with her son in residence at Thornhill Park. He must respect her decision, but he didn’t think either of them would be able to resist the powerful desire between them.
As the carriage rounded the bend at Thornhill Park, Laura sucked in her breath. “Oh, the façade of the house is beautiful, and the gardens are magnificent,” she said. The conical shrubs lined the path to the door. A riot of colorful flowers attested to a well-kept garden. “You were right to keep the formal landscaping,” she said. “I know the fashion is for wilderness, but this is a showpiece.”
Lady Atherton stirred herself from her nest of pillows and shawls. “Oh, my, the flowers are delightful. Bellingham, you should entertain more often so that others may enjoy these fabulous gardens.”
The carriage slowed along the circular drive. Harry, Colin, and Justin walked out to meet them. Bell descended the carriage and assisted Lady Atherton on the steps. Then he helped Laura.
Her heart leaped at the sight of her son. She greeted him with a hug. “You have grown as brown as a nut.”
“Yes, I have been fishing and practicing archery,” Justin said.
Bell thought the boy was in especially good spirits.
“Let us all go inside now and have tea.” Lady Atherton regarded Bell. “I assume you have more than bachelor fare on hand.”
“Yes, we have a variety of foods at Thornhill Park,” Bell said, laughing. “Come along, everyone,” he said.
“Mama, there’s a lake,” Justin said. “I didn’t catch a fish, but I’ll try my hand again. And there’s a folly,” he said. “You’ll like that. The house is enormous. It’s been in Bellingham’s family for many generations.”
Laura raised her brows. “Would that include the marauding ancestors?”
Bell laughed. “We have no portraits of my really ancient ancestors, but according to legend, they were bloodcurdling and ruthless.”
Harry made a noise that sounded ominous.
Bell looked at him. “You are a bad marauder. Let us go inside.”
A collie trotted into the great hall and bumped against Justin’s leg. He petted the dog. “Brutus thinks I’m a sheep and tries to herd me.”
Bell put his hands on his hips. “Harry, I said no dogs in the house.”
“Brutus is accustomed to the life of luxury,” Harry said. “He yowled for hours when I tried to put him out.”
Justin bent down to ruffle the dog’s fur. “You’re a good dog, Brutus.” Justin grinned at Laura. “Last night there was thunder. Brutus got scared and jumped in bed with me.”
“He tried that with me,” Colin said. “I showed him the door.”
“Wonderful,” Bell said. “There will be dog fur everywhere.”
After they stepped inside, Laura looked round at the curving staircase and the marble statues on either side of it. “How many rooms are there?” she asked.
“Two hundred,” Bell said. “Not that I ever intend to invite that many people to stomp around the gardens. At any rate, I think we should all meet in the red drawing room for tea and then we’ll make plans.”
Laura had dreaded this journey because of what they faced with Montclief and because of her relationship with Bellingham. Last night they had both been wild with lust, but she’d wanted that night with him. She’d thought of what Lady Atherton had said about grabbing life and knew there would never be an opportunity again.
She loved Bell heart and soul, but she had no illusions about his feelings for her. Yes, he cared about her and Justin, but he wasn’t willing to give more. She wanted to believe that he could overcome the demons inside him, but he had to want to do it. She’d always thought that she could make things right for others, but she could see now that he had to want to heal.
“There are maids for the ladies,” Bell said as the footmen carried the trunks upstairs. “I’ll have hot water sent up for baths. We will meet in the red drawing room in two hours if that is acceptable.”
The housekeeper, Mrs. Anders, appeared. The rotund woman led the way. Her keys jangled as she walked upstairs. “This room is for you, Lady Chesfield,” she said, opening the door. It was a large room with a canopied bed. The blue bedding and bed curtains were lovely. She found a pretty dressing table in the corner.
“The maid will be up directly,” Mrs. Anders said.
“Thank you,” Laura said.
“Lady Atherton, your room is farther down the corridor. His lordship specifically assigned it to you. There’s a pretty view of the gardens from your window.”
“Oh, well, in that case, I suppose I can bestir myself to the exercise.” She winked at Laura and followed the housekeeper.
Laura smiled as they turned the corner. She shut her door and walked about the room, admiring the polished furnishings. There was a little settee next to the window. She eyed the door to the right, and curiosity drew her. She opened the door and peeked inside, where she found an enormous masculine bed. It was a connecting door set up for husband and wife. Her stomach clenched, thinking of his poor parents and brother suffering from that cruel disease. The whole time, his mother and father must have worried about their son away at university, and yet, they would have wanted him to stay away from possible contagion.
She closed the door and walked about the dainty room with the rose-colored be
dding. The vanity table held no feminine bottles. When she opened the drawer, it was empty. There was not a single item in the room that gave any hints about his mother. It had been four years since their deaths, and he’d indicated the servants had put away all the personal items. She sat on the edge of the bed and her heart filled with sadness for him. The room was pretty, but it felt melancholy. It struck her that the reason he’d planned a journey to the Continent was to escape the house that was no longer a home.
Two hours later, Laura found her way to the red drawing room, thanks to a helpful maid. The tea tray had arrived, and Laura offered to pour. There were fairy cakes and little sandwiches.
Justin had piled sandwiches on his plate and proceeded to wolf them down.
“He eats a lot,” Harry said. “Brutus is grateful because he gets the scraps, not that Justin leaves much for poor Brutus.”
Bell brushed his trousers. “Dog hair,” he said.
“It’s dog hair,” Justin said. “There are worse things.”
“You sound like your mother,” Bell said.
“Brutus is a good dog.” Justin fed him a bit of roast beef.
“I’m sure Brutus thinks you’re a soft touch,” Lady Atherton said.
Everyone laughed, including Justin.
“I’m ready to be outdoors,” Colin said.
“Justin, there’s an enormous crevice,” Bell said. “I’ll take you there, but you have to promise to be careful climbing it. Your mama would have my head if you cracked yours.”
Laura smiled at Bell, remembering his story about his father.
“We saw it,” Harry said. “I bet the view is fantastic.”
“It is,” Bell said. “There’s still plenty of light out if anyone is interested in archery.”
“Oh, dear me,” Lady Atherton said. “I haven’t held a bow in more years than I can count, but I did enjoy it when I was younger.”
“Then you must try your hand at it again,” Bell said. “I’ll set up the targets and get the bows for archery.”
What a Wicked Earl Wants Page 29
