by Violet Paige
“Thank you, thank you.” I was on the phone with the head of my label. He wanted to personally call and congratulate me on receiving the highest number of nominations any of his artists had this year.
“We’re so proud, Lexi. So proud.”
“I hope I can bring some home to the label.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he argued. “The nominations are their own reward.” I knew he was lying. Of course he wanted me to win. He wanted every one of those awards in his trophy room.
“Thanks again.”
“Sure thing. Now rest that voice of yours.”
“I will.”
I hung up and walked to the kitchen. My phone buzzed again. I looked at it regretfully.
“Get it. I understand.” Luke rose from the table to refill his mug.
“It will be quick. I promise.” I held up a finger. I’d much rather be spending my morning with him than dealing with all of these bullshit calls.
“Don’t worry about me. I have plays to study. I’ll head to that game room if I can find it again.” He winked and leaned over to kiss my cheek before walking out.
“Hey, Helena,” I answered.
“Girl, I heard you were sick. What am I going to catch? I do not want a cold. Or a sore throat. I spent the entire day with you yesterday and you seemed fine.”
I giggled. “Do you think you could catch Luke Canton?”
“I knew it!”
“No you didn’t. No one knows he’s here.”
“Ok, I didn’t, but I like it. Congrats on the nominations by the way.”
I filled my cup with coffee. “Thanks. I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet. I’m kind of distracted.”
“Yeah, I can see how that would happen with Mr. Sex Machine in the house.”
I almost spit out my first sip. “Helena!”
“Sexy Pants? Sex Master? I don’t know what pet name you gave him.”
“None of those.”
I sat at the table and looked out at the pool. The water was still and blue. I had thought about adding a fountain at one end, but I hadn’t started the planning yet.
“Well, I’m supposed to call you and start talking about the red carpet, and of course what you’re going to wear to perform, but we can do that when you’re alone.”
“Thanks. Couture isn’t on today’s agenda. But I am excited to talk about it.”
“Are you going to take him with you?”
“What?” I had lost focus on the pool.
“Luke? Is he going to be your plus one?”
I hadn’t thought about a date. “I-I can’t do that.”
“Don’t let Jake ruin this. It’s the biggest night of your career. You should take who you want. Take him. But please let me dress him to match you.”
I was living in bliss. I woke up in the middle of a dream. And now reality was smacking me back in place.
“It’s too much trouble. The fall out isn’t worth it.”
“Ugh. You should take him. He would be an amazing accessory. At least listen to that from your stylist. But I’ll let you go so you two can hang out. I’m excited for you, Lex. On everything. You deserve this. And you deserve him too if he’s what you want.”
“Thank you.” I smiled, ending the call. I decided I needed to unplug for a while. I turned the phone off.
I heard Luke’s footsteps behind me.
“I need your Wi-Fi password.”
“Oh. Yeah. Could we talk for just a second before you go back there?”
“What’s up?”
I was just going to do it. I was going to make all these dreams come true. I’d take Helena’s advice. She was right. I deserved it. I deserved Luke.
“Would you be my date for the CYAs?” I blurted it out before I could talk myself out of it.
Luke stared at me. “Are you fucking with me?”
“No.” I walked toward him. “I want you to be there with me. If you want to.” I looked into his dark eyes.
“Do I have to wear a tux?” He cracked a smile.
I twisted my lips. “Helena could probably find a tux that’s more your style. Does that mean you’ll go? Would you want to?”
His palm landed on my bottom. “See my girl kick everyone’s ass? Hell yeah I’ll go.”
I grinned so hard it hurt. “Oh my God. This is happening.”
He tipped my chin up. “I’ll be there.”
“It’s six weeks away, so I just need this time to convince Jake. Ok?”
I saw his playful look turn to a scowl. He hated Jake’s name. “You realize a lot can change in that amount of time?”
“W-what?” My eyes darted frantically.
Did he not think we could survive the weeks? Because what I felt was the kind of emotion that moved mountains. It was what songs were written from. It inspired epic movies. What connected Luke and me was crushing and suffocating and everything I’d always wanted.
His fingers tickled my belly. “This is what I’m talking about. You could be pregnant.”
“Oh,” I whispered. The relief was replaced with new alarm. Holy shit. I couldn’t go to the CYAs knocked up.
“Do you think you are?” There was something hopeful and sweet in his eyes. Jake had pegged him all wrong.
“I don’t know. It’s too soon to take a test or anything like that.”
“When can you?”
I swallowed. We were talking about this. Actually talking about taking a pregnancy test while we were standing in my kitchen on the day the CYA list came out.
“I-I haven’t really looked into it.”
“And is it ok for you to drink coffee?”
I looked at the full mug. “Coffee?”
“Yeah, I thought pregnant women had to stay away from that shit.”
“Luke, we don’t know that I’m pregnant and we’ve been careful every other time.”
“Have we?” He eyed me. “Last night? This morning? Pulling out isn’t birth control, baby.”
He had me there. It wasn’t. But when we were naked and I felt his body under mine all I could think about was having everything that was his. I wanted him in every way. He wanted it too. We were being careless and reckless. We were in no positon to have a baby. But every time I thought about it, the idea was less and less scary.
“I’m on the pill. I’ve taken it every day this week. Every day.”
He nodded. “Ok.”
But my fingers threaded through his and rested over my stomach. He kissed me, sucking on my lips.
“Can I get the password?”
“Oh yeah. It’s lovesong.”
He grinned. “Thanks.”
I watched him walk out of the kitchen. I had six weeks to break the news to Jake—he didn’t own me anymore. I belonged to someone else. Heart and soul.
26
Luke
Two weeks ago I was in Nashville. Tonight I was in DC, getting ready for our game against the Sharks tomorrow.
I had spent the day in a hotel suite studying the Sharks’ defense. I had seen it before, but I wanted to be prepared.
An hour ago Linc texted me. Charlie wanted to meet. I didn’t realize she traveled out of Austin for this kind of thing.
I sat across from Charlie. Linc was next to me.
She smiled. “We have a new strategy I want to go over with both of you.”
I hadn’t been in the headlines once in the past few weeks for anything other than winning games. There was no way in hell management was mad at me. I’d done everything Charlie asked I do. I was pissed I was in this meeting.
“What is it?” I asked. “Things seem to be fine.”
“They are fine because I have created a perfect plan. Without that and I can only imagine what you would do.”
I leaned forward. “I can handle it without you.” Linc’s hand was on my forearm.
“I think we have an opportunity to stir the Lexi Wilde rumors again.”
Fuck. I looked at Linc.
“Why would you want to do that,
Charlie?” he asked. “That died down.”
She spun her laptop around so we could see her screen. “She’s in town this weekend, working with her children’s charities at the St. Regis Hospital.”
“So?” I balked.
“So. She’s in town and you’re in town. It should be easy to stage a run-in again. You two know each other. See what you can do with that.”
“I’ve already told you that’s not happening with her.”
“This girl has more good will capital than a girl scout troupe. She brings you up. People loved it. It’s a relationship dream ticket.”
I shook my head. Linc needed to get me out of this. I wasn’t fucking things up with Alexa. I promised her the brand was off limits.
“No. I’m not running for election.” I pressed my palms into the table. “We’re winning. I’m taking this team to the Super Bowl. I don’t have time to get wrapped up in some girl. As long as I’m out of the press who cares? I’m not out chasing ass, so stop pointing me in that direction.” My glare was hard and nasty, but Charlie deserved it.
She proved to me that she didn’t give a shit about football. Images and smoke and mirrors—that was her game.
Linc cleared his throat. “Luke has a point. Someone like Lexi Wilde is more of a distraction than a help. A few weeks ago her fans were all over him. Luke doesn’t need that. He’s winning. He’s in the best shape of his life. Let him focus on that. Focus on football and the game. The Warriors are going to have a playoff season. That’s what everyone wants. Quiet headlines from Luke and Ws in the results column.”
Charlie whipped the laptop back in place and typed angrily. “She is staying at the Deluxe. I think we could arrange for a run-in when she’s done with the hospital unless you want to go straight there and try to see a few kids as well. That worked last time. Might as well throw in a donation at the same time. It might tip the scale even more.”
My fist slammed on the table. “I’m not going to say it again. Alexa Wilde is off limits.”
Charlie’s eyes lit. She leaned back in her seat and folded her hands together. “How long have you two been seeing each other?”
“What?”
She closed the lid to her laptop and turned her phone face down.
“I’ve been in this business a long time. I’ve seen everything: DUIs, murder, sexual assault, alcoholism, drug abuse. And people lie to me. They think I can somehow help them without the full truth. What they don’t realize is I have radar for lies. It’s the easiest thing to spot, Luke. It’s like a spotlight, beaming right on their lying heads.
“This is one of two things: you either despise Lexi Wilde, or you’re in love with her. I get this feeling you don’t despise her.” Charlie wrinkled her nose. “I just don’t think that’s it. So that leaves me with love. And love I can work with.”
Linc kicked me under the table.
If she wanted fucking shock and awe she got it. Fuck.
27
Alexa
From the window I could see the Capitol. The scaffolding wrapped the rotunda as if it was a brand new building going up in the city. It wasn’t the prettiest view. I picked up my phone to see I had a text from Luke. My stomach floated with the same kind of bubbly feeling it always did when I saw his name.
Change of plans.
I typed back.
What’s going on?
I twisted my lips waiting for his response. I didn’t like that I had been here two hours and we already had a hiccup. I knew this was going to be complicated and risky. But I had to see him.
The past two weeks in Nashville were a whirlwind. Jake had booked me on every radio show. I did morning press. I did afternoon press. I did night press. I was going to have to get my boots re-soled after all the appearances I had made.
He was sure I could get enough votes for a full sweep of the awards if I made the rounds fast and furiously in the beginning.
It was a big popularity contest. I knew that.
Helena was with me on this trip. Jake was willing to let me out of sight because I convinced him it was a good way to have a girls’ trip with a douse of charity. I promised to post our dinners and shopping trips on my social media accounts along with a slew of pictures with the kids.
He hesitated, but I think Helena was the one who wore him down in the end. He was too happy with all my nominations not to give me some wiggle room.
Don’t go to the hospital.
I stared at Luke’s response. That wasn’t possible. I had to be there. This entire trip hinged on the hospital visit.
Why not?
I tapped my boot on the floor. My car would be here in fifteen minutes. It was too late to cancel.
Charlie knows.
My stomach sank. How? I sat on the edge of the bed. I thought we had been careful. I thought we had made sure no one had seen us together. There was no way. This was ridiculous. We needed to talk about this. Not text.
Call me.
I waited for the phone. To hear the deep throaty voice that made me shiver with excitement. Two weeks apart had been agony. The only thing holding me together had been the promise of this trip and right now it felt as if it were falling apart.
I didn’t know if I could take that. I didn’t know if I had the kind of resolve I needed to power through another day without Luke.
A few minutes passed before my phone rang.
“Hey,” I answered on the first ring. “What’s going on?”
“You can’t go to the hospital.”
“I read the text. Why not?” I still wasn’t willing to cancel the visit without some kind of emergency reason.
“Because Charlie wants me to use your trip as another chance for us to be seen together. It’s supposed to be another headline for me. And I can’t get out of it.”
“What do you mean?”
Luke’s PR manager didn’t have the same hold over him as Jake had over me. Of course he could say no. He had already ended things between us in the press. He could keep up his end of the deal. We only had four more weeks to go. Once we were on the red carpet at the CYAs this would all be out in the open. I could go to his games without hiding. He could watch me perform from backstage. We could spend the holidays together. Go skiing. All those things normal couples did. It was four weeks away.
“If you don’t go to the hospital then it’s not a fucking problem, Alexa. Don’t go and we don’t have to worry about it.”
I didn’t like his tone. None of it. I narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?”
“Cancel it and this goes away for now.”
“Why should I have to cancel a charity event? You need to tell Charlie you aren’t going to ambush my appearance. We have an agreement.” I tossed that on the end, but I realized it was a mistake.
“Do you think I’m trying to out us? Because that’s the opposite of what I’m trying to do. Why are you being so stubborn? Don’t go to the hospital.”
“You shouldn’t go to the hospital.”
He groaned into the phone. “If you go, I have to go. If you don’t then there is no story. This is on you, Alexa.”
“It is not. This is my job. Do you have any idea how many children are waiting to see me? Can you imagine their expressions or how their hearts are going to feel if they find out I canceled? And why would I? There’s no good reason for it.”
“The reason is to protect your precious image.”
“Precious? Are you mocking it?”
“Shit. Stop picking a fight with me. You don’t know what I’ve dealt with today. You have no idea what I’ve tried to do for you.”
“You’re right. I don’t. But I thought I came here to see my boyfriend and do some charity work. Maybe I’ll only do one of those.”
He huffed. “You’re serious? You’re that mad?”
I didn’t know what I was. Everything was crumbling and crashing around me like shards of shattered glass at my feet. Why was Luke doing this—making me choose between sick children and my relationship with him.
Why was he arguing? Why didn’t he just take care of it?
“Maybe I am.” But I wasn’t. I wanted to see him. I had craved another look into his eyes since he was in Nashville. I’d been waiting for his lips. Desperate for his hands.
I didn’t like being backed in a corner and neither did he.
“Fuck, Alexa. You aren’t making this easy.”
“Anything else?” I sassed. “Because I’m leaving for the hospital and it’s not the kind of thing I can be late for.”
“No.”
He hung up and I stared at a dark phone. What in the hell had I just done? I fell back on the bed, letting my hair fan out around me. My eyes floated to the ceiling. I was supposed to be at the hospital soon singing and signing autographs. Those kids depended on me. Their parents counted on me to give them joy. To bring them hope and kindness.
I wiped the first and last tear that rolled from the corner of my eye and sat forward.
Luke and I didn’t fight. This felt like my heart had been bruised and pummeled. I almost couldn’t breathe. What if he walked away? What if I wasn’t worth fighting through the fight?
I walked to the bathroom to fix my makeup. Helena would be annoyed if she saw I had ruined her artwork. I’d given her more leeway with Jake in another state. My skirt was short too. I felt liberated finally wearing what I wanted.
I needed to burn through the minutes I had before the driver arrived. I wasn’t ready to see anyone. I wasn’t in any condition to cheer up children. I had to get my shit together. The realization hit me like a punch—I might be spending my nights alone from now on.
28
Luke
I hailed a taxi outside the team’s hotel. I was mad enough to kick down a door, but I wasn’t going to do that in DC. I gave him the address for the Deluxe and sat back as the driver turned every corner in this damn city. Why in the fuck were all the streets one-way?
