“I’ve made plans with my kids, and you’re going to come along,” he said, hands on hips, looking beyond manly. The word rakish came to mind. The tight polo shirt accentuating naturally developed deltoids, and narrow hips in snug jeans didn’t help.
“I don’t think she likes you, Daddy,” the little one at his side said. Chloe. That’s right. Kasey remembered her name.
“Trust me, she does. She’s just playing hard to get.”
“Am not!” How dared he make her out to be the stubborn one?
“Yes. You are.”
“Hard to get?” Chloe repeated.
“She knows I like her. A lot. The same way Mommy likes Bradley, and she isn’t making it easy for me.”
“Is she your girlfriend?”
“Yes.”
By now, Patrick had heard the ruckus, stopped playing Hacky Sack long enough to look up at the entertainment on the front porch. Chloe shrugged towards her brother, skipped down the steps to join in with Patrick’s game. “Daddy’s got a girlfriend!”
“As I recall, I was pretty easy to get,” Kasey said in a strained whisper, once Chloe was out of earshot.
“That was before.”
“Before what?”
“Before we got serious.”
Was he serious? “When did we ever get serious?”
“Yesterday morning.”
So he’d felt it too. Dear Lord, the man looked crestfallen standing on her porch, admitting he’d gotten serious with her, with his kids looking on. He really was desperate, and it drove his brows together as he stared at her with those dangerously blue eyes. This could be terrible for his ego, and mess up his kids for life. What was he thinking!
Desperate men often had poor judgement.
No one in her entire life had ever been despairing over her before. Desperate enough to drag their kids into the fray.
She was not going to give in and let him run roughshod over her just because he’d brought his kids as a lever. Cheap shot, if you asked her, regardless of whether or not he could find child care. She had no intention of letting the man, who was obviously out of his mind, get stuck with a health risk like her. She’d hold him back in life, and she cared about him too much to do that.
Oh, hell. She did care about him. Loved him. He wasn’t about to take no for an answer, even though it was the best thing to do to just forget the whole damn affair.
She glanced at the children by the curb, tossing the Hacky Sack back and forth, then she looked back at Jared, who had fire in his eyes, and an air of determination rolling off his skin. How would they work this out?
“Okay. You wait on the porch, because I’ve got to put on some clothes,” she said as she headed down the hall hell-bent on not letting his little ploy change her mind about the bigger picture. She’d be civil to him and kind to his children, and patiently wait for the afternoon to be over.
*
Two hours later, they’d finished a trip around the Boston Public Garden Lake on one of the pedaled swan-styled boats. Both children had watched her closely the entire ride. She wondered if she measured up. The children had been shy at first in the car on the drive over, but once they’d gotten to the park they’d opened up and asked her questions as they’d walked. She’d done her best to stay engaged with them, while being pulled by Jared’s audacious vibes. He had no intention of making things easy for her.
Once they got off the boat, the kids ran ahead to a street vendor, looking for iced lemonade and a churro. In an odd change of dreary May weather, the sun was out and glistening off the water.
“I don’t know what you have up your sleeve, but I distinctly remember asking you to leave me alone.”
“I did.”
“For one day?”
“That’s longer than I wanted to, believe me.” He reached for her hand, but she moved away.
“Why?”
“Because I care about you. I don’t want you to go through this mess alone.”
She quit walking, and squared off in front of him. “For how long? How long will it be before you get tired of doing that? Before we realize we should have cut our losses a long time ago?”
“Friends shouldn’t think like that.”
“So are you saying we’re not hot sex partners any more, but now we’re just friends?”
He wore a pained expression, eyes and lips turning downward. “Don’t be that way.”
“I’ve got to think like that. I can’t let myself fall for someone who plans to leave in another year. Where will I be then?”
He offered a dead stare. She’d heard about his apartment with the can’t-wait-to-get-out-of-town feel and the rented furniture.
“Look,” she said, “I’m not trying to be contrary, but we’ve got to be realistic. We signed on for a fling and wound up with all kinds of extra junk thrown in. We didn’t see that in the package deal when we bought it, you know?”
“Do you give a damn about me?” he asked.
“What has that got to do with what I’m trying to explain?”
He took her hand. “Something changed between us yesterday morning. I know you felt it too. I can’t walk away from that just because you tell me to.”
She couldn’t let him hijack her plan. The guy didn’t deserve one more tether in his life. His kids looked up to him and he’d just done something crazy on her behalf by dragging them along for the confrontation. He was embarking on a new direction in reconstructive surgery, and he needed to be free of any constraints. She wouldn’t—wouldn’t!—let him get involved with her.
No matter how much she wanted to.
With the kids busy buying treats from the vendor three hundred feet away, she gave him a rueful smile. Damn if her lower lip didn’t tremble. “Look, I gotta go.” She couldn’t let him see her tear up. “This isn’t going to work out. Let’s face it now.” Before it hurt even more than it already did. She turned and rushed toward the passing crowd.
“Kasey.” He called her name, but she’d started with a slow jog and stepped it up to a lope in the opposite direction from his kids. She knew he wouldn’t come after her and leave them unattended. “I’m not giving up!” he called out.
That’s what she was afraid of. She ran as fast as she could out of the park, toward the Chinatown T entrance, away from Jared and all the hopes and dreams to which she couldn’t let herself fall prey.
*
On Monday afternoon, after Kasey had given the third rabies vaccination to Janie, she clutched the paperwork in her hand and left the clinic early for her four-thirty appointment with the neurologist in Boston. Vincent had volunteered to go with her, but she’d decided to take this examination alone.
The high-rise medical office was typical of many such buildings with cold tile floors that made footsteps echo off the granite walls. A chrome and mirrored elevator took her to the seventh floor. The hall felt compact, claustrophobic even, and quiet, thanks to thick brown carpet. The narrow corridor was lined with framed prints and posters by famous artists she recognized. Miro, Picasso, Modigliani. Rather than enjoying the art, she looked straight ahead to the office at the end of the hall, wondering what she’d find out today. Maybe, just maybe, Dr. Ortega would be the one to tell her not to worry. Maybe he’d laugh and say, Oh, for crying out loud, you got yourself all worked up over this? It’s nothing. Absolutely nothing.
A girl could hope, couldn’t she?
She swallowed and opened the door to the waiting room then stopped abruptly. Jared sat in a chrome and wine-colored leather chair, watching her. His piercing eyes were determined yet questioning when he looked up. The usual effervescent feeling she got in her chest whenever she saw him still happened, and it surprised her. She should be angry. What on earth was he doing there?
She’d asked him to leave her alone, had run away from him at the park. Why couldn’t she get the point through to him? They didn’t belong together. Ever. Regardless of her feelings for him.
She couldn’t make a scene. Not here. What was
he trying to do, out-stubborn her and force his way back into her life?
He jumped to his feet and rushed to take her hands. “Don’t get upset. I just want to be here when you’re done with your appointment. Then we’ll talk about anything you’d like.”
Right now the only thing she wanted to do was pound his chest with her fists. He was driving her crazy with this “being there” for her business. Couldn’t he let her suffer in silence as she was used to doing?
She bit her tongue rather than tell him to leave. A wiser part of her conscience stopped her from overreacting. “Okay,” she said.
Jared didn’t want to drive her crazy—he wanted to offer her support. She’d humor him. Let him stay. But there was no way she’d take him into the appointment. This was her business. Hers and hers alone. And afterwards she’d search for a rear exit.
After checking in with the receptionist, she sat in a matching chair against the opposite wall. She’d let him stay—did she have a choice?—but in the meantime she’d do her best to make him suffer. She covered her mouth with her hand and stared at the plush coffee-brown carpet in silence until the nurse opened the door and invited her inside.
As she looked up, without meaning to, her eyes connected with Jared’s. He nodded. She glanced away, refusing to admit it felt reassuring, and followed the nurse through the door.
How different it felt to be the one in the gown with the opening to the back, sitting on the exam table lined with a tissue-paper-thin barrier, having her blood pressure taken. She waited with her bare feet dangling over the edge of the table as she thumbed through a surprisingly recent design magazine from the wall rack. Try as she may, her pulse quickened with every movement outside the door. What if she already showed signs of Huntington’s, had been compensating for physical changes, and hadn’t even known it?
After a couple of taps on the door, a silver haired doctor entered and introduced himself. “I’m Dr. Ortega, and you must be Ms. McGowan.”
She nodded. “Call me Kasey.”
His inviting smile helped her relax a tiny bit.
After going through her list, he glanced up. “We usually recommend having someone with you during this examination to help you remember what we’ve talked about.”
“No, thank you. I’m a nurse practitioner. I’ll remember what we talk about.”
“Okay.”
“Have you noticed any personality changes such as irritability, anger, depression or loss of interest?”
She’d certainly been irritable and angry lately, but that had been for a good reason. Depressed? Who wouldn’t be? Yup, she’d lain around in bed all day on Sunday, tuning out the world. Oh, hell, it all seemed circumstantial. “Not really.”
“Have you recently had difficulty making decisions, learning new information, answering questions?”
She shook her head. Except for making decisions, she seemed to be waffling back and forth where Jared was concerned. And she’d pay a thousand dollars to answer the big question occupying her heart today—just because she loved Jared, did that make it okay to mess up his life?
“Any problems with remembering important information?”
She shook her head in double time.
“Balance problems?”
She remembered feeling clumsier than usual lately. “Maybe.”
“Anyone notice you making involuntary facial movements?”
She screwed up her face, definitely a voluntary movement, and shook her head again.
“Slurred speech?” Only when I’ve had too much to drink. “Or difficulty swallowing?” Only when she had a huge lump in her throat when crying.
“No.” Her reply came out breathy.
“Let’s begin with a neuro examination, then.”
She’d given enough abbreviated neuro exams at the clinic to know the doctor was not only assessing her nerve function, motor system and reflexes with his thorough investigation but her mental status and speech as well.
The extensive test would take over half an hour, beginning with her head and ending with her toes. He had her smell things, distinguish between hot and cold, make faces at him, show her teeth, smile, frown, puff out her cheeks, raise her eyebrows, stick out her tongue, shrug, walk heel to toe.
He had her hop in place, first on one foot and then on the other, and she flexed and extended just about everything that could bend. He measured her muscle strength with various tasks of resistance, while standing and lying down. Then he moved on to the sensory system, using various items to test her reactions to pain, temperature, light touch, and vibration. Finally, using his rubber hammer, he tested all the usual reflexes she knew about from her own training, and several more she’d never have thought of, ending at the soles of her feet.
Once he’d finished the examination, after writing in a chart for what seemed like eternity, he glanced up. “You seem perfectly normal, but due to your family history and recent genetic tests, I’ll order a CT scan and an MRI. This will give us a baseline for future reference. My nurse will call you with the appointment dates.”
Kasey let out her breath, unaware she’d been holding it for the last few seconds. “Okay. Whatever you suggest.”
After he left the room, she got dressed, thankful to know that nothing, so far, was abnormal. Kasey didn’t expect that to change overnight either. She’d cleared the first hurdle, but would have to go for the CT and MRI to see what they showed, if anything. Dared she think things were looking up?
Once she was dressed she headed back to the hallway, searching for a back exit. No such luck. A tiny flutter of nerves winged through her center at the thought of seeing Jared again or, worse yet, that he wouldn’t be there.
The only remaining test for today was the one sitting in the waiting room.
Jared.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
KASEY stepped into the waiting room to find Jared sitting exactly where she’d left him. She let out her breath. Those big blues peered up at her from beneath tented brows. He couldn’t feign the look of concern, and it made the butterfly flutters go double time in her stomach.
What was she supposed to do about Jared?
“How’d it go?” he asked.
“Fine. He says I’m fine.”
His brows smoothed, relief washing away the tension in his eyes as he stood and reached for her. “Fantastic.”
Kasey believed him. He was on her side. He’d proved it on Saturday, rashly doing whatever he needed to do to make her understand, even to the point of dragging his kids along, and he’d shown up here today in support without being asked. How much more proof did she need? He cared about her, and right now that meant more than anything else in the world.
She let him enfold her and draw her to his chest. Man, oh, man, she’d missed being held by Jared. His usual citrus-woodsy scent welcomed her, and even the scratchy tweed of his jacket felt fantastic against her cheek. She sighed, relaxing for the first time in days.
“Dr. Ortega wants me to get a CT scan and an MRI.”
She felt him nod. His hands rubbed her back, soothing her even more. She could get used to this, but knew she shouldn’t. If she let go of her resistance, he’d entice her back into bed, and she knew in Jared’s case food hadn’t been the only way into his heart. In fact, she’d never even cooked for him. What would happen if he found out she was a great cook…when she wanted to be. No, she shouldn’t even go there with him.
Her mind spun with confusing thoughts about Jared—how she should keep him at arm’s length, banish him from her world, from her heart. But he was here, and he made her feel safe, and maybe just one more day with him was okay, just for emotional support. Suddenly amidst all the jumbled ideas she wanted to prepare him dinner for being here today, for forgiving her stubbornness on Saturday. For refusing to let her push him away.
Only a good guy with nerves of steel would show up here and wait, and that gutsy guy deserved to be fed.
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
“Sure. Where do y
ou want to go?”
“I thought I’d cook us something. Is that okay?”
He pulled back to look at her. “You cook?”
Showing the first sign of spunk in what seemed like ages, she cocked a brow. “You don’t know what you’ve been missing.”
His mouth twitched, his eyes dancing from concern to bring it on. “Oh, yes, I do.” He lightly swatted then caressed her hip.
She’d meant it about her cooking, but he’d obviously taken it the wrong way. “Hey, I’m only offering dinner. Friend. Because you’ve been so annoyingly nice lately, in a desperate kind of way.”
The mouth twitch stretched into a wide smile and, coupled with his afternoon stubble, he looked far too appealing. “Whatever. I’m there.”
“Then let’s get going.” She stepped out of his embrace and immediately missed his warmth.
As they drove home in Jared’s car, he quizzed her about the examination. She opened up about it, even made light of some of the ridiculous poses she’d been in. “I felt like I was taking a sobriety test.”
His deep, healthy laugh put a full smile on her face. Her expression may have been involuntary, but it sure had nothing to do with Huntington’s.
She glanced across the car at him, his noble profile, the way his thick, dark hair curled on his collar. What the heck was she supposed to do about Jared?
Jared and Kasey walked the aisles of the supermarket together. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d shopped for groceries with a woman. She wore black slacks with low-heeled boots, a bright green cowlneck sweater that made her eyes pop, and a dark gray blazer. The new haircut gave her a sophisticated air, but that bright-eyed stare she gave while picking over the zucchinis and yellow squash looked nothing short of playful.
“Chloe said she thought you were pretty,” he said, pretending to examine a tomato.
“She did?” She slid him a sideways glance while her fingers tested more vegetables.
“Yup.”
He followed her to the next stand. “And Patrick thought you were weird for running off like that.”
Dr. Tall, Dark...and Dangerous? Page 14
