He didn’t respond to her, but pulled an empty chair up and squeezed it next to mine. Realizing he wasn’t going to help her out, the girl huffed and walked towards the bar. Conversation at the table was still going strong when Lucas leaned towards me and quietly said, “You look really nice tonight.”
I really wanted to roll my eyes. Instead, I smiled and accepted his compliment, trying to show him that I didn’t care about seeing her on his lap—because ultimately I didn’t care about him. “Sorry I missed the show. Time got away from me.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. Mondays are short sets anyway. We just do it for fun.” The brunette came back, bringing another chair along with her beer. There wasn’t room for her next to Lucas so she pushed it between Ian and one of her friends. It was hard to miss the stink eye she was giving me. Either Lucas was oblivious to her actions or he was acting like he was because he leaned closer to me and whispered, “I’m glad you’re here now.”
Not believing anything he was saying, I leaned into him and nodded in the brunette’s direction. “I don’t know your friends,” I whispered, unsure if the music or Wally were loud enough to drown out my voice.
Lucas snorted. “I wouldn’t really say they’re friends.”
“Really? The two of you looked really friendly earlier,” I said without thinking and immediately regretted it. So much for convincing him that I didn’t care.
Lucas frowned, running his hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. My face heated with embarrassment and I tried to find something to say that could help me redeem myself. Before I could, Lucas spoke up. “Come with me. This table is too crowded.” He stood and reached out for me.
I didn’t want to go with him. I did want to go with him. I felt like he was a womanizer. I felt like he was being sincere. I hated second-guessing every intention from him. I hated that I cared about him at all. Lucas had player written all over him. He had heartache branded on his forehead. I thought about Mark. About how I had been so in love with him, but in the end it hadn’t mattered. I thought about whether or not the same thing could potentially happen with Lucas. It could. It could happen with anyone and I knew I wasn’t ready to jump back into that yet. I was still too jaded and bitter. And Lucas knew what Mark had done to me. He had to know that seeing him with another girl would erect a wall around me, and that I would try to push him away. Instead of taking his hand I rose from the table and said, “I need to go,” then walked to the exit.
I was in the parking lot and nearly to my car when I heard someone call my name. Slowly, I looked over my shoulder and saw his silhouette. The lights illuminated him from behind as he strutted towards me.
“Think you could give me a ride home?” he asked as he approached. I scanned the parking lot and noticed his car sitting on the other side. He followed my gaze. “Ian wants to hang out a little longer, he’s gonna take my car home.”
“You don’t have to stay until closing?”
“I’m off tonight.”
I was so confused. I felt insecure. And mad. And jealous. And I didn’t like feeling that way. “Who was that girl?” I asked. Instantly, I felt stupid for saying it. I was acting as if we were in a relationship, when we weren’t. We were literally nothing to each other. “Never mind.” I threw my hand up when he started to answer. “It’s none of my business,” I added, doing my best to sound sincere. “I shouldn’t have asked. C’mon, I’m parked this way.”
I heard his footsteps following me, but neither of us spoke. We didn’t speak when we got in the car or on the drive home—not even when he got out. As I was closing my door, he was halfway across the street when he stopped, turned around, and marched right up to me. “If you don’t want other girls to sit on my lap, just say so Marzy,” he said sternly, as if he was daring me to admit that I was bothered by it.
My head jerked back, and I suddenly felt defensive. “I don’t care if other girls sit on your lap, Lucas. In fact, you could let a million girls sit on your lap, and I wouldn’t care.”
He squinted his eyes like that was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. “Bullshit.”
I scoffed. “Get over yourself.”
Annoyed, I started towards my house, but he stopped me with an arm going around my waist. Slowly, he backed me into the car, pressing our bodies together. Despite everything, my breath quickened, and I looked into his eyes. Pure lust shone behind them. When his hands came to my hips, my eyelids drooped, and I knew it was behind mine, too. I wanted him to kiss me. Bad. He lowered his head, our lips were nearly touching, and our eyes were nearly closed. “I’ll be by Saturday to take you to the bar,” he said and stepped away. “Around 3.”
It felt like someone popped a water balloon over my head. That was it? We went from arguing, to almost sucking face, and then right back to business as usual.
I took a deep breath and decided not to lash out or sound disappointed. “Sounds good to me,” I said and headed for my door. He was still standing in my driveway when I went inside.
I went the entire week without seeing him. If he came to my house to see the guys, I was either out or in my room. School was starting the next week and I was nervous and excited, so I focused on that. Charles, Wally and I watched movies every night. Each of us getting to pick one. Even though I was the only girl, it reminded me of a slumber party. We would all pile into my bed, Charles and I on the outside and Wally in the middle.
Bear picked some unimpressive action flick and I was a little disappointed in him. He was better than that. The next night was my turn and they groaned, begging me to go mild on the chick flick.
I decided to surprise them and picked Kill Bill. Wally had never seen it and liked it so much that the next night we watched Kill Bill II. He then complained that he didn’t get a night—that my movie stretched into two. So Friday after their show we let him pick one. He told us it was his favorite as he put it into the Blu-ray player. Casablanca came on the screen and I was a little shocked. I had expected something with a lot of swear words, nudity, and stupid jokes. Turns out the man had depth, and I felt like I was getting to see a part of him he rarely showed other people. It made me feel special.
After the movie, I stood in my closet and obsessed over what to wear to Lucas’ bar the next day. I picked some black shorts, a blue, flowy top, and some strappy heels that I never ever wore. I knew that I was trying to impress him, but put it in the back of mind.
Just before Lucas was supposed to arrive, my hair and makeup were done to perfection. Nothing over the top, but I had put effort into looking good. As I waited in the kitchen, I heard a horn honking in my driveway, and walked to the front door to peek out of the blinds. His Buick was waiting for me. Annoyed, I stomped out to his car. Through his window, I could see that he was wearing sunglasses, but knew he was watching me the whole way. I huffed when I got in, so he would know I was aggravated. He didn’t pull out of the driveway right away and I looked at him with wide eyes, signaling that I didn’t understand what the holdup was.
He was smiling and chewing gum. His green shirt was tight across his chest and shoulders, and even though he wasn’t standing, I knew that his jeans hugged him perfectly. Still grinning, he reached his hand over the back of my seat and pulled out of the drive. Once on the road, I looked over at him and watched his jaw work as he chewed. For some reason, that was extremely sexy, and I sighed as I laid my head back on the seat.
“It shouldn’t take you as long today, right?” he asked. Since I was only doing a week’s worth, no it wouldn’t. I told him so. He seemed pleased, and I wondered if he had some place he wanted to be later.
As we pulled into the bar, I turned to look at him. “You’re a liar,” I said.
He laughed, seeming a little confused. “Why?”
“You promised food the next time I came to help. Is there food in there? Because if there isn’t, you’re a liar.”
His face fell. “I completely forgot,” he said, sounding genuinely remorseful.
; As I got out, I said, “I guess I can forgive you,” over the roof of his car. He met me at the front bumper and I had a feeling he was about to put his hand on the small of my back to lead me towards the door. Instead of letting him, I took a quick step away and smiled over my shoulder.
I was right. His hand was paused mid-air, right where my back previously was. He took off his sunglasses and smiled nice and slow. Unable to help myself, I giggled as I walked away.
We stopped at the front door and he fished his keys back out of his pocket, trying to locate the one to the bar. I don’t know why he hadn’t just left them out, but as he slid his free hand around me, I felt butterflies in my stomach and was suddenly grateful. I turned towards him and loved the feeling of his chest against my shoulder. His fingertips rubbed over my hipbone, and I realized how much I’d missed this. Touching. Showing affection.
He unlocked the door and I went straight to his office. All of the invoices, receipts, and deposits were sitting on his desk, so I immediately began working. Lucas didn’t check on me, but I saw him pass the door every now and then carrying things to and from the supply room.
After I was finished, I started printing my work to put in his records, but the printer stopped after the first page. The display flashed red. Out of paper. I hated that. Only one page. It felt like a tease. I went to the supply room and opened the cabinet at the back corner. The paper was on the top shelf, but I couldn’t quite reach it. I was stretching for it, when I felt Lucas put a hand to my waist. He reached up with his other and brought the paper down to my eye level.
I waited for him remove his hand. He didn’t. I waited for him to say something. He didn’t. Realizing that I wasn’t going to turn around, he took a step back and leaned against the table on the opposite wall. My body felt strange. My muscles were tight. My pulse was fast. When I looked at him, the tension in the air grew. We stood like that, staring at one another—both wanting the same thing, but unwilling to make the first move. Tired of my indecisive desires, I took a step towards him.
I wasn’t touching him. Not yet. But my eyes bore into his as I tried to tell him how much I wanted this. Without saying anything, he reached out and pulled me between his legs. Our lower bodies connected like magnets and I inhaled sharply. Slowly, he slid one hand up my bare thigh and onto my hip, pushing it under my shirt to rest on my skin. His other hand cradled the back of my head, and I could feel him pulling me towards him. For some reason I resisted, but then he gently squeezed my waist, and every muscle in my body relaxed. I curled into him, placing my hands on his chest. Focusing on my fingers, I felt the rise and fall of his labored breathing. I looked at his shirt collar. His Adam’s apple. His chin, his lips…
Finally, I made it to his eyes, and saw a hunger. It was intense and wild. He wanted me. And I wanted him. Raising on my tiptoes, I slid my arms around his neck. He put his other hand on my waist, and I could feel his thumbs rubbing circles across my stomach. A cinnamon aroma filled my senses, and I realized that he wasn’t chewing gum any longer. My fingers spread into the hair at the base of his neck and his eyes changed. I know he saw the same thing in mine. Resolution.
Our lips brushed. His nose touched mine. He kissed the side of my mouth. I kissed the side of his. Our lips met in the middle, opening for one another. The feeling of his soft lips sent tingles through all of my limbs.
It was slow at first. Soft and gentle. Wanting more, I pulled his head closer to mine, licking his bottom lip. He moaned and then a dam burst. He pulled me closer to him, raising me up on my toes. I pulled him closer to me, forcing his back to curl. Our hands were touching everywhere, greedy and frantic. Wanting to wrap my legs around him, I propped my knee on the table and he immediately grabbed my thigh, pulling it around his waist. I was floating. No, he was holding me. We were standing in the middle of the room, both of my legs around him and his hands squeezing my ass. Reactively, I rolled my hips into him then left his mouth to trail kisses down his neck, licking and sucking.
“Jesus,” he breathed. My back hit something soft. The couch. He was on his knees between my legs. Needing him closer, I pulled him on top of me and raked my hands up and down his stomach, his back, anywhere I could touch. I cradled his pelvis between my legs, feeling him through his jeans, hard and wanting me. I moved my hips showing him that I wanted him too.
Our mouths were locked, air coming out in quick breaths. He pushed my shirt up over my bra, and then his fingers went under it. With a strong hand, he palmed my breast and squeezed. My head fell back with a moan that sounded needy and desperate. His mouth moved to my neck, every sound coming out of him guttural and intense. He was just as desperate as I was. My hands went to his belt buckle. Our bodies were already moving the way we wanted them to, we just needed to get out of these clothes. Feeling me at his pants, he slid his hand under me and started working on my bra. I could feel him everywhere and I was high. High on Lucas… Lucas…
Oh my God. I didn’t know Lucas’ last name. I racked my brain trying to find out if I had asked or if it was said to me at some point. I was about to give myself to a man and I didn’t even know his last name.
It was then that I noticed neither one of us were moving. Lucas was breathing heavy and looking down at me, trying to figure out what was wrong. “I don’t know your last name,” I blurted. It was absurd. My shirt was up over my bra, which now I could tell, had been pushed and moved to where it barely covered anything at all. I felt like a harlot.
“Burns,” he answered, twirling his finger around the bar. I was an idiot. I’d never thought to ask one single detail about him. I knew he didn’t want to play music. That was it. He didn’t care about playing music.
“And yours is Duncan,” he continued.
“How do you know that?”
“I asked Charles,” he said, still sounding out of breath. He sat up and then helped me up beside him. After I fixed my clothes, we stared at each. Neither one knowing what to do.
“Lucas! You back there?” we heard Kate call from the hallway and my eyes went big.
“Yeah,” he yelled back.
“Telephone.”
“Be right there.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered. “Was she here the whole time?” Embarrassment set in, and I covered my mouth to hide a nervous smile. This was a little mortifying.
“I hope not,” Lucas laughed.
“Me, too,” I said, still whispering. He was smiling and I was smiling. I didn’t feel like such a harlot anymore.
Lucas stood and reached down to help me off the couch. When I stood, he wrapped his arms under my butt and barely lifted me, so that my feet were dangling about two inches off the floor. I draped my arms around his neck as he started walking back towards his office with me like this. “Tomorrow,” he said, “I’m taking you out and you’re going to ask me anything you want. And I’ll ask you anything I want. Deal?” He put me down in his office doorway.
“Deal,” I smiled up at him.
He propped his hands on the doorframe and leaned down to kiss me nice and slow. As he started to pull away, I brought my hands to his jaw. He made a sound deep in his throat and stepped away from the door to wrap his arms around my waist, pulling me in for a deeper kiss.
After he left to go answer his phone call, I was high again. And this time I knew it was on Lucas Burns.
Chapter 7
After Lucas left, I remembered the paper and went to retrieve it, smiling as I passed the couch. I was grateful that things didn’t go further. The idea of going out with him made me excited—which I hoped proved that I was finally over everything that Mark had done. It had been nearly four months since I’d officially cut all ties with him. We’d actually broken up around six, but had a two month maybe we’ll get back together period. And we might have if Samantha hadn’t told me the truth. I felt foolish remembering how I’d begged him to take me back.
Telling him that I could be better. That I would try harder. That I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life
by his side. The night Samantha told me about the two of them, I’d been crying on her shoulder, wondering why Mark didn’t want to give us another shot after we’d been through so much together. She’d said that the guilt was too much and spilled everything. I had a rage blackout after that and have no idea what I said to her, but she never spoke to me again. She only gave me sad eyes when we would happen to meet on the steps of our neighboring apartments. At first, I wanted to rip her eyes out, but then I got over it. She wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it. They had both used me. It was after I’d stopped calling him that he decided we should get back together. I never told him that I knew about Samantha, just that he was right—we weren’t good together. Then all of a sudden, he was obsessed with getting me back.
Lucas popped his head into the office just as I was finished printing. “All done,” I said. He looked at me for a beat, and something passed behind his eyes, a shadow of something sad, but I couldn’t be sure.
“I can’t take you home. Something’s come up. I phoned Charles, he’s on his way.”
My face fell. “Is everything alright?”
“It’s fine. I’ll call you later.” And then he was gone. I realized that he didn’t have my number, but I supposed he could come by my house if he wanted to talk to me. Once in the bar, I smiled at Kate as I sat down. “Charles is coming to get me.”
“Yeah, I know,” she rolled her eyes, but I could tell it wasn’t about what I said. “You’d think the idiot would grow a pair. But no. Every time the bitch calls, he goes running to her.” She was drying pint glasses and not looking at me. I was glad. My face suddenly felt hot, my mouth was dry, and my stomach felt funny.
“Who’s a bitch?” I asked quietly.
“Candace. His girlfriend or whatever,” she grimaced.
“He has a girlfriend?” I asked forcefully. She looked confused by my reaction and stared at me as if I’d grown a second head. I wasn’t even embarrassed by my outburst. “Oh whatever!” I slapped the bar counter and stormed off. Charles was pulling in as I reached the parking lot. I stomped over to his truck and slammed the door as I got in.
Starting Fires Page 8
