“You want to?”
“Yes.”
He started across the street and I followed him. I went in first, and honestly, it wasn’t what I’d expected. It looked like it was stuck in the eighties. All of the walls had wood paneling. The carpet was old and ratty. The small foyer led right into a living room that stepped down from the rest of the house.
“Over there,” he pointed to a door in the far corner of the living room, “is Ian’s room.” I felt his body press up against my back. “Around the corner is the dining room.” He placed his hands on my hips. “There’s the kitchen.” He bent down and kissed me at the base of my neck. I turned around and brought my hands to his chest.
There was only one room I cared to see. Stretching up on my tiptoes, I kissed him. His hands came around to my ass and squeezed. Pushing my hands under his shirt, I let my fingers roam across his chest. Our lips were eager, making up for lost moments.
Abruptly, he pulled away and spun me around, pushing me into a wall. His hand went into my pants and started caressing between my legs. I pushed my ass into him and moaned. When his other hand went down the top of my shirt, I asked, “Where’s your bedroom?”
“End of the hall,” he said at my ear.
I pushed off him and started moving backwards towards it, taking my shirt off as I went. My shoes came next. Slowly, he followed me, undoing his belt as he walked.
My hand found the knob, and I opened it, stepping inside. As I moved to the bed, Lucas appeared in the doorway. He stretched his arms up to the top of the frame, his pants undone, but still hanging on his hips. I shimmied out of my jeans and sat back on the mattress, grateful that I was wearing at least somewhat sexy underwear as he eyed me. After closing the door, he slowly moved to stand at the foot of the bed. “You sure about this?” he asked.
Yes, I wanted this. Without answering him, I reached behind me and unclasped my bra, throwing it at his feet. As I pushed my panties off my legs, I leaned back, giving him full view of my body. Seeing me completely bare for the first time, he gave a throaty groan and reached behind his neck for the collar of his shirt.
Bare-chested, he walked to the side of the bed. Sitting up, my hands went to his pants and I started slowly pulling them down. As soon as his dick peeked out of the top, I licked the end before wrapping my mouth around it. His forearm tightened and he brought a hand to the top of my head. “Mmm,” he said in his throat. Gently, I sucked while I pushed his pants all the way down. When they fell to his ankles, I went up to my knees and took more of him into my mouth. “Jesus,” he groaned, fisting my hair. “Lie back.”
Nervousness overcame me as I did as he asked. This was it. It was finally happening. My breathing was quick and already I could feel a cool sweat building on my skin. As he settled between my legs, his jaw clenched with pent up lust. Sensing my anxiety, he went down to his elbows and kissed me. It wasn’t greedy or aggressive, but soft, soothing my nerves.
I felt my body relaxing and spread my legs wider for him. Once he was at my entrance, my ankles went to his calves and I hooked them around, rising to meet him. Slowly, his tip eased into me. He didn’t push further, so I used my hands to put pressure on his hips. As he gradually filled me, our mouths fell apart and we looked into each other’s eyes.
I had fantasized about this moment since I’d first seen him, and wasn’t disappointed. The heat between my legs was glorious. The twitching of my muscles was amazing. The ache in my body was perfection. But then I realized he was completely still. His eyes were closed and the expression on his face looked troubled.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Just… don’t move,” he said through clenched teeth. I squirmed a little bit, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. “Marzy…” he warned. “You move one more time, my next words are gonna be ‘I swear this never happens.’”
A giggle escaped me, and he started smiling, too, but his was pained. Once we settled down, he was still for a few moments before he pulled out and thrust into me again. My hands gripped his shoulders with the movement. “Damn,” he muttered, giving another thrust. As he began moving more rhythmically, he placed kisses from my ear to shoulder. His pace was slow and easy, allowing us to savor every sensation. Heat from his mouth bathed my neck and each of his soft grunts made toes curl.
Sex gave each of us a sound—whether we knew it or not. And his sound was primal, seeping through his heavy breaths. He was claiming me. His hand palmed the back of my head and he watched me. His eyes studied my face as I panted and moved with him.
I whispered, “Faster,” against his mouth. His fingers tightened at my head as he pushed harder into me, plunging rapidly with each thrust. He was relentless, his deep pounding pushing me further up the bed.
My nails dug into his back and the sounds of our lust and pleasure filled the otherwise quiet house. The faster he went, the more curses flew out of his mouth, until he rose up on his knees and gripped my hips, pulling them up. I tried to roll to meet him, but couldn’t keep up. Letting him take over, my eyes closed and I felt one of his hands slowly move to span my stomach, squeeze the side of my ass, and then caress my thigh. He touched me with devotion. With longing. And with need. Despite what we had or hadn’t said to one another, in this moment, I was his. Every part of me.
Wanting to see him, I opened my eyes and watched his jaw clench as he studied my body. I relished the enraptured groans that left him as he caressed new parts of me. Sweat was dripping down his chest and stomach, small drops easing along his abs and over his sparrow tattoo. As I admired him, my body tightened.
“Fuck,” he gritted out, watching us connect.
The tension was rising, and my muscles clenched tighter. Lucas gripped my hips hard and my back arched off the bed. His soft curses echoed in my ears as I gripped the comforter beneath me. I felt him everywhere. My body bowed and strained. I brought an arm over my head, pushing my face into it as I gasped and sobbed through my orgasm. I was still slightly convulsing when he dropped my hips and rose back over me.
“Goddamn it, Marzy,” he said, locking his arms on either side of me. Somewhat recovered, I went to my elbows and looked between our bodies. His hips rolled into me forcefully, and I started matching his pace. As if in a trance, I stared at our bodies, watching his thick length push in and out of me. Over and over. Wanting to see his face, I looked up and our eyes met. The need to kiss him overcame me.
Quickly, I rose up on an arm and gripped his neck, pulling his mouth to mine. As our tongues connected, we moaned. His thrusts suddenly quickened. His groans grew louder. His breathing became erratic. His mouth now barely responded to mine. I pulled back and watched his face contort. He pushed deeply into me and his lips fell open, shaky breaths leaving him. Clenching his teeth, he gave two more hard thrusts before collapsing down on top me.
A hmph left me as his weight settled. He kept his head buried in my neck as our breathing slowed. Still inside me, he started making an obviously fake snoring sound. I chuckled and swatted his arm. Smiling, he rolled off me.
As I lay next to him on the bed, I watched his chest rise and fall. A pleased and forceful “mmm” sound vibrated behind his closed mouth. I smiled and suddenly felt cold, our sweat cooling now that our bodies were relaxed. Propping himself on an elbow, he rubbed my stomach. “I’ll be right back,” he said before placing a soft kiss to my shoulder.
I watched him get off the bed and walk naked into a bathroom in the corner of his room. Alone, I took the time to look at my surroundings. He had two dressers. One short and one tall. They were different shades of brown and the handles didn’t match. His bed didn’t have a head or footboard and was sitting low to the ground. Knick-knacks were scattered across every surface. No one thing matching the other. His clothes were piled in corners, scattered across the floor, or hanging out of drawers. A few pictures of trees lined the walls. All very artistically taken—no tree the same.
I heard the water faucet turn on in his bathroom and decided I should get dresse
d before he came back. I knew he had just seen me full on naked, but now that the deed had been done, I didn’t want my body to be on display any longer.
I found my panties first and put them on. I reached for a pair of jeans on the floor that ended up not being mine, and Lucas’ cell phone fell out of the pocket, landing on the floor. A wadded up towel broke its fall. I was reaching for another pair when I heard his phone vibrating.
I glanced at it. ‘Sandra calling’ flashed on the screen.
My body fell back on the bed. This was it. The decisive moment. Could I do it? Could I push the jealousy aside and take this for what it was? I hadn’t told him that he couldn’t be with other girls, just that I didn’t want him to do it in front of me. I rubbed my hand through my hair. The phone stopped vibrating, and I swallowed a knot in my throat.
The sex had been amazing. More than amazing. I’d never experienced anything like it in my life. And I knew I wanted to do it again. I wanted to keep being around him. Every moment with him was spectacular. I didn’t want it to end, but I didn’t want commitment from him either. I couldn’t have both. If I wanted this, I would have to take Lucas for what he was. And he would have to do the same. Which meant that, after seeing her name on his phone, there was no way I was staying to cuddle in his bed.
When he came out of the bathroom, I was putting on my jeans. My back was to him, and I heard the jangle of his belt as he put his pants on. He came up behind me and curled his arm around my stomach, pulling me into him. His other hand pushed my hair over my shoulder and he kissed me just below my ear. I arched my neck, sighing as he caressed my bare breasts. “You gotta go?” he whispered.
“Yeah…” I answered, distracted as he continued to kiss me. “Studying.” Without realizing it, I’d reached above me and curled an arm around his neck. My head turned to him and I kissed him slowly. Soon it turned so passionate I moved around and he pulled my legs up to wrap around his waist. He held me under my thighs as I cradled his jaw.
He started making his way to the bed, kicking discarded clothes out of the way. As he sat, our kiss slowed and I trailed my mouth down his neck. He squeezed my waist as I licked him. “If you want to get any studying done, you better stop now,” he told me.
I smiled onto his skin but extracted myself from him. He watched me put my bra on then stood to pull a shirt off his dresser. It was the black one with the gray logo of the unknown bar. He handed it to me and I put it on. As I pulled my hair out of the back, I admired him standing in front of me. His jeans were zipped, but not buttoned or buckled. He was barefoot, still shirtless.
His scent lingered in the air, and I brought the shirt to my nose, sniffing it. He must have worn it recently. His cologne covered the collar. As he watched me, his mouth twitched up. When I took a bigger inhale, he full on smiled and walked over to me, kissing me one more time.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. I nodded and walked out of his room, picking up my shoes and shirt on the way out.
In my room, my homework took two hours. I did it all still wearing his shirt. And then, after taking a shower, I put it back on, nuzzling the collar as I got under my covers. Just as I was turning off my lamp, my phone dinged.
Done studying?
Yeah.
I’m coming over.
Within three minutes, he had walked across the street, into my bedroom, and was back inside me.
Chapter 14
After that first night, anytime we were alone, we were having sex. My closet. His bathroom counter. The pool tables at the bar. Twice in his car. My bed. His bed. Up against walls. On floors. Everywhere.
We’d become obsessed. I’d abandoned every other responsibility. Studying was pushed to the side. Any assignments I turned in were subpar—and I didn’t care. If we were together, I was underneath him, or above him, or on my knees with him behind me. It was becoming a problem that I had no solution to.
We tried to be as discreet as possible. If we were going to do this, I needed boundaries. Public affection was out. I didn’t want myself becoming attached. I didn’t even tell Lacey or Nicole, but they knew. I could see it in their eyes every time they brought up his name. They were just waiting for me to confirm it.
Truthfully, I enjoyed it. It felt like we were having a forbidden fling, hiding it from everyone around us. Each time we snuck off to be alone, a little thrill shot through me. If he wanted more, he didn’t make it known. We never talked about where this was going, or how we felt about any of it, and I was fine with that because it was perfect for me.
The way he reacted to my body pushed all my insecurities aside, and I felt comfortable with him. He never shied away from touching parts of me that I had come to look at as “problem areas.” Sometimes after sex he would lie next to me and draw lazy circles across my belly, or rub the back of his knuckles down my thighs. At first, I’d felt exposed and wondered if he was scrutinizing. But one night he looked over at me and said, “Do you realize how perfect your body is?” There was so much sincerity in his eyes that my worries immediately dissipated.
Our sex fest had been going strong for three weeks. It was mid-morning on the Monday before Thanksgiving, my laptop open while I submitted half-assed schoolwork. As I waited for a file to load, I glanced out of my kitchen window and watched two birds flit and flutter across my yard.
Wally came down the stairs, looking exhausted. “Rough night?” I asked him.
“Not really. But every time I’d nearly be asleep these words kept drifting into my head.” I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to tell me what they were. Instead of explaining, he walked to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.
“What words?”
Dramatically, he took a drink, and said, “Oh my God, Lucas… yes… God!” My face heated and he continued with, “Or Fuck, Marzy! Which, I don’t know if you’ve realized, that one’s clearly his favorite.”
“Wally! Stop listening to us!”
“Didn’t you just hear me? I was trying to sleep. Why don’t you stop being so loud? Or how about go to his house for a few nights and give me a break?”
Embarrassed, I grabbed my laptop and raced up the stairs, leaving his laughter behind me. If Wally knew about us, we weren’t being nearly as discreet at we thought we were.
Later, I met Lucas and Ian in their driveway. I was riding with them to the bar and approached the backseat. Ian was on the other side getting in the back, too. My brows furled in confusion. Countless times I’d ridden in this car with them and Ian always sat up front—he never even asked if I wanted to. Why was he all of a sudden changing his tune?
He gave me a chin nod as he opened the door. Still feeling confused, I went to the front. Ian giving me this seat made me feel a mix of emotions. It was such a simple thing, but felt like so much more.
After Lucas started the car, he patted the space beside him, telling me to scoot over. I bulged my eyes and nodded in Ian’s direction. As I started putting on my seatbelt, he bit the inside of his lip, watching me. He looked disappointed and I didn’t like seeing that look on his face, so I turned to the window.
Once we got on the road, Ian and Lucas carried on a conversation. At least I think they did. I only heard Lucas’ half. I still wasn’t skilled in Ian speak. So naturally, I was thoroughly confused.
Tonight, Burns had quite a crowd. “What’s going on?” I asked Lucas.
“A bar down the street closed last week. We’ll be packed for a while I’d bet.”
A group of men careened by us and Lucas gripped my waist, pulling me into his side to avoid them. Reflexively, I curled into him, placing a hand to his stomach. They didn’t apologize and Lucas’ jaw grew tight as he watched them walk to the bar.
“Do you have to work tonight?” I asked.
Not taking his eyes off the men, he answered. “I’m not supposed to.” His hand began rubbing my side protectively. A few people walking by looked at us, and I wanted to step away from him—not because I didn’t like it. That was the problem—I
liked it too much. Finally, he turned his glare away from them and started scanning the room. “Ian’s over there,” he said. “I need to check on things behind the bar.”
We went our separate ways and I had a difficult time navigating the room. People were everywhere, laughing, clinking glasses, getting up from their tables without warning. A few times, I nearly crashed into someone. When I finally made it to Ian, I was more than annoyed. He was busy doing something on his phone, but shifted his eyes to me as I sat. “Wally wants to know if Nicole and Lacey are coming.” I heard him perfectly and I wondered if he did the quiet voice on purpose to mess with me.
“I think so,” I said. “But they might be late.” He nodded and typed something into his phone. “Where are they?” I asked, not needing to clarify who ‘they’ was. Bear and Wally were usually a package deal.
He responded quietly and I narrowed my eyes. I think he’d said ‘on their way,’ but I couldn’t be sure. Was he messing with me? Not blinking, he matched my stare. I was about to tell him that I thought he was a whisper fraud when a girl squealed his name. We both turned to the voice. Immediately, I recognized her pixie cut. It shook around her face as she did this excited little wiggle. “Hey, Sandra,” he said and stood to hug her. I felt my stomach knot and my teeth clench. I couldn’t be sure if anything had ever happened between her and Lucas, but my intuition told me that even if it hadn’t, she wanted it to.
Lucas didn’t immediately notice her when he approached, but then she said his name. A familiar smile passed between them and he walked over, giving her a side hug. He started back to me, but then she grabbed his arm, pulling him into a chair.
“I haven’t seen you since Halloween,” she said. “How’ve you been?” Her hand was resting against his forearm and she squeezed it while she waited for him to answer. Lucas glanced in my direction and slid a beer to me.
Starting Fires Page 17
