by Claire Angel
He took orders, and I made the drinks. I was relieved to be busy since I felt like I had a hangover. Did I have to work a double today? I sipped coffee throughout my shift and took a half-hour between shifts to eat something. I grabbed a sandwich at the deli for lunch and ate on my stairs, leaning against the wall with my eyes closed. Normally, that was enough to perk me up, but I just wanted to sleep when we closed that evening. I said good night and headed right to my apartment so that I could collapse in bed.
When I was there, I felt vulnerable and alone. The bed still smelled like Marisol, and the apartment had memories of her all over the place. I tossed and turned, unable to get away from her as the pain hit me. It had been a month since we started this, maybe a bit longer. Why did I have to fall for her? It could have just been sex or casual dating. We worked without my profession of love, but I knew that was wrong. She was scared before that. I thought back to different things and realized it was happening for a while. I was just blind to it.
I worked and slept in between band stuff. Sleeping was hard at night, and I learned to depend on naps to get through my days. I doubled the coffee that I was regularly drinking.
*
The show at Ripple following the end was awkward. Marisol was there but didn’t talk to me, making every effort to avoid me. She did talk briefly to Jack and smiled at him as he touched her arm before walking away.
“Are you on the outs? She seems so distant tonight.” He followed me to the stage, and I helped to set up for the night.
“I guess. She ran away from me the night at your house, and I haven’t talked to her.” I watched as he paled and looked at her. “I think she got scared.”
“Did we do something wrong?” he asked, and I shook my head.
“It was a variety of things. She keeps to herself and has these walls.” I shook my head and fixed the microphone. I glanced over at the bar to see Liam talking closely with Amy as Marisol watched them with discomfort all over her face. I sighed and looked on as the guys surrounded me, and we started the set. I usually lost myself in music, but I merely phoned it in tonight. I just wanted it to be over so I could go home.
We went to the bar after the set was over, and the usual fans gathered around us. The band I saw with Liam was there, and Kendra stayed close as I sipped a beer. I looked across the room to see Marisol glaring at her as I smiled weakly. I wanted her to come over here and scream at me like the old Marisol that I knew.
I headed to the bathroom before I left, seeing her leaving the storeroom. I stomped over to Marisol and stopped in front of her so she couldn’t move. “Why the hell are you glaring at me for? You’re the one that ran away from me, Marisol.”
“It didn’t take much time for Kendra to be there by your side again, did it?” Fire flashed in her eyes, and I laughed without humor.
“I kind of miss your attitude, Marisol. I never thought I’d fucking say that.” I turned to walk away and left the crowd behind as I pushed the doors open. I went home and drank whiskey in my bed until I passed out. I had the following day off and planned to sleep for most of it. I needed to separate performing with the band from my personal life and fast. I wasn’t going anywhere and leaving my family.
I was working at the coffee shop a couple of days later, and the line was long. I made drinks like a robot and handed them out to customers in between sips of my cup of coffee. The owner called this morning to ask me to meet him for lunch after work, and I worried that something was happening with my job. I made a mocha coffee and walked to the end of the counter to call the name that went with the drink. “You’re Kellen, right?” I looked up to see a woman that looked a lot like Marisol and realized it must be her sister.
“I am.” I waited to see what she had to say.
“I’m Celia. Marisol is my sister.” She smiled, and I stared at her as she waited for me to say something. “I’m worried about her. She’s been quiet and told me that she ended things with you. What happened?”
I glanced back to see two people clocking in and sighed. “I’m going to take a break, guys.” I grabbed my coffee and walked around the counter, looking for a table. “Your sister fits perfectly into my life, Celia. We’re both busy, and we make that work, and my family loves her.”
“Your niece, Ella. She’s spoken about her. She loves her.” Celia nodded, and I frowned.
“Ella loves her. Marisol is walking away from her as much as she is everyone else. She won’t return my sister in law’s calls. I would never have brought her over if I knew she was just going to abandon them.” Celia widened her dark eyes and held up a hand.
“Wait, Kellen. She wouldn’t do that voluntarily. We lost our mom and effectively our dad at the same time. They were the only other family that we saw, and it hurt both of us. Marisol went in the direction of building her walls up, and she’s good at that. Something changed with you, and she loved it, but it also terrified her. Meeting and loving your family sent her back to the past. I’ve been talking to her, but this all came up so quickly.” Celia breathed in and then looked in my eyes.
“What do you suggest I do?” I asked, and she played with her coffee.
“Give her time. Be patient.” Celia smiled at me. “She’s hurting.”
I returned to work to finish my shift and clocked out to meet my boss. He suggested a cafe around the corner, and I walked in, glancing around to find him. I saw Marisol at a table and groaned as I remembered that she worked here. I resumed searching for Nick and saw him waving at me from a corner table. I smiled as I walked over, slipping into the booth across from him. “Hey, Nick. What’s up?”
A waitress that wasn’t Marisol came to help us, and I ordered water as I looked over the menu. Nick ordered coffee and a BLT while I went with a burger and fries.
“I asked you to come here so we could discuss something.” I looked at him, and he smiled. “You know I went to Washington to visit Meg’s family last week, right?” I nodded. “I proposed to her on the beach, and she accepted.”
“That’s great, Nick. Congratulations.” There went my job. I knew it.
“The other part of my news is that we spent a lot of time talking after she said yes. Her mom is a bit under the weather, and Meg wants to move home, at least for a while. There is an opportunity for me to open a shop there with a guy her dad knows. I love her, Kellen. I want to go where she goes.” His face showed that, and I blinked.
“Is this the part where you tell me you’re closing the shop?” Nick sighed and reached for his drink.
“In a manner of speaking, yes. I obviously won’t be running it myself. But it’s one of the most successful coffee shops in Seattle. I don’t want to close.” The waitress brought our food, and he thanked her. “I was trying to decide if I should ask you to buy it or run it for me.”
“What?” I asked as he nodded.
“You’re the most dependable person that I’ve ever worked with, Kellen. I trust you implicitly when I’m not there, and lately, that’s a lot. I want you to have a decision on this. I know you can likely buy it because I pay you, and you’re doing well. We could work out something where you can have the entire building and still stay in the apartment. The profit is already there, and you would just need to keep things running smoothly.” He shrugged. “As a manager, you would still need to cover shifts and things like that. You’ve been a manager for a while now, so I gave you a raise a couple of months back. I just forgot to tell you.”
“That explains it. I never checked with everything going…on.”
“If you owned it, you could make the profit and not be there full days. I could hook you up with some potential managers that would make your life easier.” His idea took shape in my head, and I absently reached for a fry from my plate. I could own the shop and still do the band. I should make enough to keep helping Jack. I would need to look over the taxes and get an idea of that.
“I like that idea.” Nick looked at me with a hopeful smile.” I’d like to sit down and talk numbers with you
.” I suddenly felt hungry and reached for my burger.
“Absolutely. We could meet with my accountant, so you’ll know what you’re taking over.” He was on board, and I nodded. I looked across the room to see Marisol looking at me with a curious expression on her face. “Let’s make an appointment.” We talked about the workings of the shop over lunch, and I got excited about the idea. I didn’t want to leave the area and my family, and this way, I’d be settling down. I could have the apartment and stay there, or possibly get something else and rent it out. There were so many possibilities flooding my mind.
I felt good when lunch was over, and we had an appointment in two days with the accountant. Nick left, and I sauntered to the door thoughtfully. Marisol stopped a few feet in front of me, and I looked curiously at her. “Kellen.”
“Yes, Marisol?” An idea hit me, and I blinked it away.
“I was scared.” I nodded. “I run when I’m scared. I withdraw and try to convince myself that I’m better off alone. My sister has been riding my ass about it for the last few days.” I smiled at the mention of Celia. “She said she came to see you.”
“Is she a ball-buster like you are?” I asked, and Marisol smiled.
“Not quite as much.” Marisol looked down at the floor and then at me. “I miss you. I miss your family. I couldn’t stand seeing that bitch with her hands all over you.”
I laughed, and she frowned. “You have to know that I’m not the guy to jump into another girl’s bed when the one I want gets scared. That’s not me.”
“I know.” She gave me a weak smile. “Can we talk later? I’m off at two, and I’d love to see you.”
“Name the place,” I told her, and her shoulders relaxed.
“Your place. I’ll bring some beer.”
“Deal.”
Chapter 17
Kellen
I got home and showered, changing into clean jeans and a Henley before starting a load of laundry. I checked the clock to see that I had half an hour before she’d be here and dropped on the couch. I kept playing lunch back in my mind. I looked around the apartment, realizing that I could own it. I could own the whole building and change my life.
There was a knock at the door, and I blinked. A smile crossed my face, and I rose to answer it, looking out on Marisol as she stood on my porch with a pack of her favorite IPA. “Hi.”
“Come in.” I moved to let her pass, breathing her in as she passed. “Thanks for coming over.”
“It was getting too hard to stay away. I haven’t slept right since that night.” She set the beer down on the kitchen counter and pulled out two bottles. I opened them, and we moved to the couch.
“I wanted to tell you that I was falling for you that night, Kellen. I was falling for your whole life and everyone in it. Being someone that’s essentially alone, it terrified me. You know?” I nodded.
“I love your family. Grace could become a great friend, and Ella is so sweet. I love going there for dinner and just spending time, but then I remember that Ella is sick. My heart could break more than it already does every time I see her.”
“That’s a part of life, Marisol. I think about it too, every day. I still want every moment with her that I can have. Her good days give me strength and seeing you with her gives me that much more. It’s addicting.” I stared at her as understanding crossed her face.
“It is.” Her eyes filled with tears, and she brushed them away. “Did I mess up too much?”
“There is always room for a second chance. We all miss you, Marisol.” I smiled, and she stared into my eyes for a long moment.
“Good. You are the one person I don’t want to drive away.” She took the unopened beers and moved them to the table before straddling me. “I missed this.” Marisol kissed me, and I pulled her closer to me. She laughed and moved her head, allowing me to deepen the kiss as her hands went into my hair.
Hours later, it was dark, and we were in bed. We had a few rounds of makeup sex and were now drinking warm beer. “So, that was the owner of the shop I was with today. His name is Nick.”
“You’re friends?” she asked, and I nodded.
“He might sell the business to me. This apartment, too. He’s leaving Washington for a while and made the offer to make me manager or possibly the owner.” She smiled and kissed me. “I was kind of thinking about buying it and offering you the manager position.”
“What?” Marisol asked, and I laughed.
“I need to talk numbers first, but why not? You have a good head for business, and you can handle a crew. They won’t want to push you.” She laughed and reached for her beer. “I can find out about pay, but he’s generous with me.”
“That would be good. Ripple wants me to do their books for them. I can work my hours. I could still work a shift here and there if needed, but I wouldn’t be working full days anymore.” She gave me a happy smile. “I wanted to come over to tell you that, and here you tell me better news.”
“I have a lot of ideas. We’re meeting with the accountant in a couple of days and talking numbers. I’ll know more than, and you could even come with me. Why are you studying Journalism if you're so good with numbers?” I frowned, and she laughed.
“I don’t know.” We both laughed, and she dropped her head to the pillow. “I love you.” I knew that I shouldn’t be saying that, but it slipped out.
“It’s crazy, but I love you. I can’t imagine you not being a part of my life.” I leaned in to kiss her again and rolled her to her back. “What do we do from here?”
“I sit down with my accountant. I sort through numbers and make plans. You stay with me every night at your place or mine because I can’t fucking sleep right without you.” I kissed her, and she wrapped her legs around me.
“I can’t either.” Marisol dropped her head back to offer me her neck, and I kissed down it hungrily. We made love one more time and took the next day to sleep since we didn’t have to be anywhere early.
I ran down for coffee and another place for bagels before heading back to my apartment, where Marisol waited in bed for me. We spent the morning together before she had to go into Ripple and work in the office. We played there tonight, and she promised that she’d be there watching before pushing me to the bed again.
I called Jack and Grace to tell them the good news about the coffee shop and Marisol. They were happy and wanted to celebrate, and I told them we’d aim for dinner soon. I told my brother that I’d see him later and cleaned up for the show. I wore one of our shirts and tossed one on the bed to give to Marisol later tonight. Liam wanted to grab dinner before the show, and I agreed on the sports bar.
I told him about the coffee shop, and he thought it was a great idea. Liam was intelligent. He’d taken an inheritance and turned it into a successful home business where he designed websites. He got the house from his grandparents and raised there his entire childhood; he never planned to leave. He told me that he could help with any plans and clapped me on the back when we left. We headed to Ripple and walked through the back to drop stuff off at the stage before meeting the guys at the bar.
The mood when you’re feeling happy and hopeful is a far cry from feeling lost. I smiled and laughed as we chatted with fans, catching sight of Marisol as she walked out from the hallway. She was dressed to cover the floor and walked right over to me. “Hey there.”
“Hi, babe.” I stared into her eyes and only saw the welcoming warmth before I kissed her gently. We agreed last night that there was no reason to hide this. It damaged us before and left some things unclear.
“I knew it,” Liam called out as I gave him the finger. I wrapped an arm around her and stayed at the bar until it was time to perform. We took the stage, and I looked at the guys with a smile.
We started with the song I wrote after meeting Marisol and spending time with her. The words expressed everything I felt, and she stared at me with wide eyes as I sang to her. She got it, and I saw Amy hug her for a moment when we went into a new beat. The crowd was
feeling our good vibe and moved to the rhythm of the songs, singing along. It felt good, and I threw myself into the performance much more than in the past few weeks.
We finished, and I thanked the crowd before the others stood around me. We headed down to the bar to a mass of people telling us how great we sounded. We took the offer of beers, and I pulled Marisol to my side as I talked to everyone. Kendra noticed, and I gave Marisol a long kiss just to rub it in a bit. “I thought I was the catty one,” Marisol whispered to me as we both laughed.
We went to my place that night after the bar closed and I unlocked the door. I let her in first, turning on a light on the wall. “That song was amazing,” she told me, turning around to look into my eyes.
“You turned my world upside down, babe. I wrote that in the beginning sometime.” I walked towards her, wrapping my arms around her waist to pull her against me.
