Vance stood and collected the empty plates from the table, needing a moment to himself. Stephanie didn’t say anything or move to help him. While he cleaned up the dinner dishes, Vance mulled over what had just happened and tried to understand Stephanie’s viewpoint. Did she really believe that or was it just insecurity? He had no idea, but pushing her away even more wasn’t the answer. Setting the last dish in the dishwasher, Vance walked over to Stephanie who was lying on the couch as she watched one of her favorite fashion related channels.
She really didn’t look like she was feeling well. Maybe that had spurred some of her comments. “Hey, you doing okay?” he asked as he sat down on the arm of the couch.
“Just a headache. Long day.” She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze but made no move to make space for him on the couch.
Vance loved that she gave so much of herself to her students, but it meant she took it hard when things didn’t work out. He doubted that was all that was bothering her, but he didn’t press. Part of him made the excuse that she was tired. Another part simply didn’t want to hear her say things like she’d never change or overcome the last of her fears. An old pang of sadness settled in as he thought about the unlikelihood of them ever having children. She had such a big heart, so much capacity to love, but he knew better than to bring it up. Did she really mean what she said about never changing her mind or overcoming her fears?
“Do you want me to get you some aspirin?” Vance asked, trying to distract himself from things he didn’t want to think about.
“No, I think I’ll just head to bed after this episode, but thanks.”
Leaning down, Vance kissed her forehead. “I need to make a quick call, but I’ll be back to check on you in a few minutes.”
“No rush,” Stephanie said. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He kissed her again before taking his phone into the bedroom. Deciding not to push Steph or push her away didn’t diminish his concern that something was really bothering her. If she were going to confide in anyone, it would be Sabine. He and Sabine talked fairly often, especially after everything Guy and Charlotte had been through over the last year. He not only hoped Sabine held a clue, he’d also begun to suspect she had been the one to convince Natalie to trust him. He also suspected the advice had something to do with Stephanie.
It had been too long of a day to figure out the time difference between Chicago and wherever Sabine was staying that week. He brought up her number and hit send, figuring he would just leave a message if she didn’t answer. To his surprise, Sabine picked up on the third ring.
“Vance, it is so good to hear from you,” Sabine said. “How are you and Stephanie doing?”
“That’s kind of why I was calling. Part of it anyway,” he said.
Sabine sighed as if she had been expecting him to say something like that. “What is happening?”
“I don’t know,” Vance admitted. “I know it partly has to do with Natalie and our less than traditional setup and relationship, but she won’t really talk to me about it. She says she’s fine with it, told me to invite her to Sansa’s, really seems to like her and be concerned about her, but I know it’s still bothering her a lot.”
Murmuring her assent, Sabine said, “It is a difficult situation, but it is her own issues she is battling, not her trust in you. When we have talked lately she has mentioned several times that she thinks you will give up on her someday. It is a very real fear for her.”
The first words that jumped to Vance’s lips were that he would never leave her, but they seemed to stick there. That wasn’t like him and he didn’t know what was holding him back.
“Vance?” Sabine asked slowly. “Is she correct?”
“No,” he said. “I mean, it’s not like I’m thinking about it or planning to leave, but…she said tonight that she’d never change. Like she was determined not to no matter what. I love her, but there are times I can’t help being angry with her that she doesn’t want the same things I do, or that she can’t handle them. It’s unfair…”
“It is understandable,” Sabine cut in. She was quiet for a moment before daring to say what was on her mind. “At some point you will both have to face this and decide where your futures lie, together or apart.”
Vance’s shoulders fell. He knew she was right, but he wasn’t ready to admit it yet. “There was another reason I called. I had a question for you.”
“Yes? About what?” If she was annoyed at him for changing the subject, she didn’t let it show.
Vance hesitated for a moment, but decided to just ask. “Did you say something to Natalie last weekend about trusting me?”
Several seconds of silence greeted Vance before Sabine said, “Oui, I did. Was I wrong to do so?”
“No, not at all. I was just curious about what you said, because it seems to have had an impact on her.”
Sabine sighed in relief. “I only told her that Stephanie had placed her trust in you when you first met, and that you had helped her a great deal. I expressed to Natalie that trusting you to help her would not be a mistake. I did not know she would put such value on my words.”
“Well, it seemed to have really made a difference with her, so thank you.”
“I did nothing at all. Natalie is a very nice person, broken and damaged, yes, but most of us are,” Sabine said seriously.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Vance couldn’t help his next comment. “You know, there was a time when it wouldn’t have mattered how nice you thought Natalie was. You still wouldn’t have gotten involved.”
“Perhaps I am finally growing up a bit, yes?” Her teasing laugh flittered across the line.
Her transient lifestyle was something Vance frequently poked fun at. She was a gorgeous woman, wealthy, sophisticated, and nice even, yet she ran off every few days to have a new adventure, never sticking around long enough to remember a new friend’s name. Vance had often teased her that she lived the life of a perpetual teenager and would fit in perfectly in Neverland. Peter Pan had long been her favorite book, one she read several times a year.
“That seems to be catching,” Vance teased. “Next thing you know you’ll end up like your brother, married with a child.”
“Oh, you mean happy?” Sabine said with a laugh. “You think I am not already happy?” Despite her playful mocking, Vance knew that one day Sabine did want all of that. It would just take her a while to let down her own barriers enough to find it.
Thinking of his friend one day being happily married with children that would no doubt be just as stunning as she was dampened his mood regardless of how happy the thought made him. Vance meant it every time he told Steph he was happy with her, but it had gotten harder to imagine it being just them for the rest of his life when he wanted so much more.
Maybe it was the impending arrival of Eli and Leila’s baby, or seeing Guy and Charlotte so happy with little Warren despite the trials they had faced. Maybe it was the fact that he was already in his early thirties and the prospect of ever convincing Stephanie to have a child with him was shrinking every day. It might have been watching Steph pouring her heart and soul into her students, knowing she would never do the same for their child. It might also have had something to do with Natalie.
Maybe it was everything altogether.
“I think it would break her, having children,” Sabine said, somehow knowing his thoughts. “Watching her father mistreat all those women and cast off her half-siblings, and the horrible way they all treated her and blamed her for her father’s actions…she is so terrified of making the same mistakes that I do not think she will ever be able to overcome it.” Sabine released a breath slowly, pausing before speaking again. “It torments her, knowing how much you want a family, but not being able to give it to you. She wishes it could be different, that she could be different. For you.”
A small part of him was angry at Stephanie for not being able to change, but his love for her remained. She had already overcome so much. He had promise
d to be there for her no matter what and felt he had no right to ask her to change who she was. He wasn’t sure where that left them.
“Speaking of babies, I just got a text from Eli. They are headed to the hospital!” she squealed.
Vance’s phone buzzed a second later with the same message. A follow-up text promised to keep them updated and let them know as soon as their new addition arrived. Sabine was called away shortly after and Vance went back into the living room to find Steph asleep on the couch. He carried her to their bed and lay down beside her, pulling her against his chest, burying deep the wish that things could be different.
Chapter 10
The Imminent Collapse
Arriving at work was always a stressful thing for Natalie. Even coming in half an hour early to avoid the morning rush left her trembling. That was an average morning. Sitting in her car, terrified of another confrontation with Samuel, the man who had accosted her, she couldn’t force her hands to let go of the steering wheel.
What if he saw her? Surely by today he would be informed about her complaint. The day before, with Vance there to support her, filing the report really did seem like the smartest thing to do. Everything was different that morning. Vance wasn’t there to back her up. Neither was her boss. All she had to defend herself against Samuel’s inevitable anger was herself, and that was never going to work.
By ten till nine, she still hadn’t left her car. The parking lot was filling with other employees. It was the terrifying prospect of actually having to interact with one of them that finally got her moving. She still took the stairs to avoid contact, but by the time she made it to her floor there were already several people milling about. Natalie tracked their movements warily and dodged them as best she could, not breathing again until she was locked away in her office.
The second she sat down, her office phone rang. She nearly fell off her chair at the sound, but she snatched it up a moment later to make the offending noise stop. “Hello?” she answered. Expecting to hear the voice of her boss, she wasn’t at all prepared for what she heard instead.
“Natalie?” the gruff voice barked.
That voice stilled the blood in her veins. Everything seemed to stop. Her heart. Her breathing. Her thoughts. Panic hovered around her like a fog, but she was too stunned to even give in to its pull. All she could do was sit stiffly in her chair, fingers white around the receiver, and stare blankly at the wall.
“We’ve waited long enough,” he grumbled.
Her brain was screaming at her to hang up the phone, to make his hateful voice go away, but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe, either, and black spots swam in front of her eyes.
“It’s been seven years. Seven years of you escaping punishment. Seven years of hiding from us, but now that I’ve found you, it’s time to come home and face what you’ve done.”
Hang up the phone! she screamed at herself, but her body was completely useless as the black spots grew larger and her fingers began to go numb.
“Don’t ignore me!” he shouted. “If you won’t come face your misdeeds willingly, I’ll drag you back kicking and screaming like I’ve done before!”
Pure terror gave her a strange burst of strength. Her right arm moved fast, slamming the phone down on the receiver before he could say another word, make another threat. She had escaped him once and she would never go back. Not of her own free will. That thought sent a horrible shiver through her body, one that turned into full body trembling, because she knew he was capable of dragging her back to face his punishments. He had done it before and she knew he’d never give up.
How had he found her? It had been seven years since she ran away. When she left, she promised herself she’d never have anything to do with that town or her parents again. It was the one brave thing she had done in her life. She’d left with only the money she had been saving since she was twelve years old when she had started babysitting her neighbor’s kids. She hadn’t even taken a change of clothes.
Natalie had no idea how he had finally tracked her down, but she was terrified of him pulling her back. The life she’d left behind was barely a life at all. Everything she had done since running was to build something better, to become something better. That was why she’d finally called Guy in the first place. Even though the idea of becoming a date shark client had horrified her, she wanted to start living a real life.
Natalie was desperate to leave all of that behind, but she also knew how difficult it was to resist the call she had answered to out of fear and duty for the first eighteen years of her life. He was her father. Didn’t he deserve her respect? He had drilled it into her mind for so long and with so much force that even now she struggled to rebel against it. Eighteen years of being treated like she was worth less than the dirt his boots carried in every day from work said she was right to run, but eighteen years of being forced to play his games made it almost painful to resist.
Samuel didn’t cross her mind for the rest of the morning. Neither did any of the work she was supposed to be doing. On the verge of shutting down, Natalie sat in the same position, not moving or thinking, for over an hour. She might have stayed there all day if her phone hadn’t rung again.
Her heart leapt into her throat at the shrill ringing. She felt like the Tin Man, joints rusted shut, as she tried to force herself to lean toward the phone enough to check the caller ID. Lightheaded to the point that her vision blurred, Natalie was barely able to make out her boss’s number.
Snapping the phone off the cradle and up to her ear, Natalie’s quavering voice said, “Yes, Mr. Burk?”
“Natalie, have you seen Samuel this morning?”
The mention of his name pushed her already taut nerves closer to their breaking point. “No. Why?”
“He was supposed to meet with me fifteen minutes ago to discuss the mediation required by what he did to you, but nobody’s seen him this morning,” Mr. Burk said.
Not sure she could handle much more, Natalie struggled to remain as calm as she could. “I haven’t seen him. Should I be concerned?”
“No, I don’t think so,” Donald said. “I know you’ll probably stay in your office all day regardless, which is good today, but if you do see him, please let me know right away.”
“Yes. Okay.”
He hung up while Natalie’s head spun. Samuel was missing. Her father had found her. Everything was falling apart. She did the only thing her scrambled thoughts could manage. Phone pressed to her ear, she trembled as she waited, pleading for him to pick up.
“Natalie?” Vance said. He sounded like he was anxious, maybe even on the move.
It was only then that Natalie realized she had probably interrupted a session. Why had he answered instead of letting it go to voicemail? Why had she called?
“Natalie?” Vance tried again. “Are you okay?”
“I…”
No. The answer was no. She was so far from okay she was barely holding it together. He was in the middle of something, though. As panicked as she felt, neither Samuel nor her father would burst into her locked office and attack her right in that moment. Taking a deep breath, she did what she could to calm herself back down.
“Could we have an extra session this week? Today?”
There was a moment of hesitation before Vance responded. “Of course, Natalie. Whatever you need. Is something wrong?”
“I don’t know. Yes. I mean, maybe. Well, yes on one front and only maybe on the other. I just…”
“Need to talk,” Vance finished. “Will you be okay until this evening? I’m heading to the hospital during lunch to see my friends’ new baby. I can meet with you this evening if that’s okay, but if you’re feeling threatened or in danger…”
“No, no,” Natalie said hastily, even though she had no idea whether or not that was true. “I’ll be fine until tonight. Go see the new baby. I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure? You don’t sound fine.”
It was so tempting to tell him how right he was, b
ut Natalie dug up some courage and shook her head. “It can wait. We can meet at the café later. Just call me when you’re ready.”
Vance sighed, but relented. “Steph had to stay home from work because of a migraine. Will you be okay if it’s just me?”
Probably not, but at this point Natalie was already so close to her breaking point that a little more panic would hardly make a difference. Plus, she was desperate. “Yes. Fine. I’ll be okay. Sure.”
Her rambling was a clear sign that she was on the verge of a meltdown, but Vance didn’t push her. “Okay. I have to get back to my patient, but I’ll check on you later, okay?” He hesitated.
“Yeah, sure.” Natalie could tell he was worried and didn’t want to leave her hanging, but he had a patient waiting on him and she had already interrupted his day too much. Breathing in slowly, Natalie steeled herself to be strong. “Vance, really, I’ll be okay.”
She doubted he completely believed her, but she must have sounded calm enough to allay his fears. “I’ll call you as soon as I’m done with my last patient. Text me throughout the day on how you’re doing. If you don’t, I’ll assume you’re about to have a repeat of yesterday and I will cancel my patients and come find you. If you don’t want me to do that, keep me updated.”
Blown away by his concern, all Natalie could manage in response was a squeaky, “Okay.”
He hung up a few seconds later, leaving her to sit and stare at her desk again. It was just after ten o’clock in the morning. Her work day ended at six, and she assumed it was the same for Vance. That left eight hours for her to sit safely behind locked doors and cross her fingers that no one would find her. Surely it would take longer than that for her father to track her down…if he wasn’t already there.
That thought sent her breathing rate through the roof. There was no chance in hell she was unlocking her office door until she knew Vance would be there to protect her from the imminent collapse of her entire life. It was poised to crumble down around her feet at any second and she only hoped the bubble gum and Band-Aids she’d been using to hold it together for the last seven years would keep her together until six o’clock. She had faith in Vance, and trusted him, but maybe she was asking too much this time.
The Only Shark In The Sea (The Date Shark Series Book 3) Page 7
